Invite penguins.

Stay in bed all night.

(Nights last six months!)

Once you've figured out how many days you've been together, figure out how many hours, minutes, or seconds you've been together!

284 Figure out how many days you've been together (don't forget to add in leap years). In ten years you'll have spent 3,652 days together! Reflect on the highlights of your time together. How have you changed? What have you accomplished together?

Write a short letter sharing your feelings about your time together.

Create a timeline, noting highlights of your relationship.

285 Use numbers to create theme gifts and gestures. Use your partner's age, or the number of years you've been together, or his or her lucky number. Send that number of greeting cards. Spend that amount of money on a gift. Get that number of gifts. Spend that many days on vacation. Spend that many minutes giving him or her a massage. Buy a piece of jewelry with that number of gemstones in it.

COUPLEHOOD.

286 15 Ways to Really Be a Couple in Public Always make your "entrance" arm-in-arm.

Wear outfits that match in a subtle way.

Compliment her in front of her friends.

Hold her chair for her at the table.

Whisper your pet name to her.

PDA.*

Brush against him in a sexually suggestive way.

Wear matching baseball caps.

Open doors for her with an extra little flourish.

Hold hands.

Give him a seductive smile.

Order for her when dining out.

Wink at him from across the room.

Blow her a kiss.

Buy her one rose from a street vendor.

*PDA-Public Displays of Affection Very funny (and insightful) books, both by Paul Reiser: Couplehood Babyhood Q: How do you know when you're a "couple"?

A: When you say, "Hi, it's me," on the phone-and he or she knows it's you.

Q: How do you know when it's really love?

A: When it doesn't feel like you're pretending or hoping it's love.

287 Switch roles with your lover for a day, a weekend or a week. Trade responsibilities, chores, and daily routines; trade sides of the bed, trade as many aspects of your lives as you possibly can. You'll gain new insights into your partner. You'll get to know him or her better. Guaranteed. And this knowledge will make you both more patient and understanding with each other. It will also help you make romantic gestures that are more personal, intimate, appropriate, and appreciated.

PARENTHOOD.

288 Guys: Hang this sign on your wall at work: "The best thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother."

289 Create a neighborhood "Child-Sharing Program." Arrange entire weekends when one family on the block plays host to "The World's Biggest Slumber Party," while the rest of you get romantic.

Why do ya want to be romantic? You're already married!

Dennis the Menace used by permission of Hank Ketchum and 1991 by North American Syndicate

EROTICA.

290 "Christen" every room in your house or apartment by making love in it. (Don't forget to include the stairways, hallways, and closets.) 291 For women: Fulfill a fantasy-Greet him at the door wearing the lingerie outfit that you know makes his eyes bulge out of his head!

The goal of this fantasy is to get your guy to react the way Roger Rabbit does when he sees Jessica!

292 For men: Fulfill a fantasy-Become her vision of Prince Charming, whether it involves dressing in a tuxedo or in a sexy muscle shirt and hard hat! Indulge her.

293 When he's traveling on business, give him a sexy wake-up call at 6 a.m.

294 Kiss every square inch of her body...S-L-O-W-L-Y.

295 Why not mail a lingerie gift to her-at work.

Picture this: She opens her mail about 11 a.m.; she gets your package. After she recovers and regains her composure, she's totally distracted for the rest of the day. Sounds good to me!

Chapter Theme Song:.

"The Need to be Naked,"

Amber

"Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source."

-Anais Nin

EXOTICA.

296 One of the most exotic places in the world you could possibly visit is Nepal-the tiny Asian country where Mount Everest resides. If your partner loves adventure, just imagine trekking through the Himalayas, discovering the Nepalese culture, shopping in the open-air markets, exploring Katmandu. The expert on trekking in Nepal (and in trekking vacations to other countries, as well) is Steve Conlon, founder of Above the Clouds Trekking. (Isn't that a fabulous name for a company?!) Call 800-233-4499 or write to P.O. Box 398, Worcester, Massachusetts 01602. Visit www.aboveclouds.com or www.gorp.com.

297 If you'd rather ride than walk, consider a trip on the Trans-Siberian Railroad in a vintage private train! You'll travel in original antique carriages that were once part of the fabled Orient Express. Call TCS Expeditions at 800-727-7477, or write to 710 Second Avenue, Suite 840, Seattle, Washington 98104; or visit www.tcs-expeditions.com.

298 Equitour organizes horseback vacations as far afield as India and Australia. Trips through the American Wild West are also available. The trips are wonderfully diverse: On the Wyoming trip you camp out in tents, while on the Vermont trip you stay in quaint country inns. Call Equitour at 800-545-0019; or visit www.ridingtours.com.

Everyone has a different idea of what constitutes an "exotic" experience or location. For some folks, exotic means roughing it in Africa. For others, it means lounging in Tahiti. For some, New York City is exotic. Others prefer Paris.

CREATING AN A+ RELATIONSHIP.

299 The A+ Relationship is a powerful concept that reveals unique insights into loving relationships. It is a technique, a tool that can help you accomplish two things. First, it helps you understand your loving relationship on a deep level that is impossible to achieve in any other way. And second, it helps you take action on your love in ways that fulfill you and your partner as individuals and nurture the two of you as a couple.

My twenty years of teaching Relationship Seminars, my research, and my discussions with thousands of couples have convinced me that the A+ Relationship concept can help any couple improve their relationship.

How do you achieve an A+ Relationship? You commit yourself to excellence, you work hard (and play hard!), and you work on your relationship skills together. In other words, to the best of your ability, you live your love. Great relationships are acts of conscious creation, and the two of you are artists working to create one life out of two. While falling in love does "just happen," staying in love never happens by itself.

Chapter Theme Song:.

"Straight A's," Dead Kennedys You-and every couple-have the power to establish your own "rules" and expectations for your relationship. This is one of the great benefits of the social changes we've been experiencing since the 1960s. This kind of empowerment is a major factor in why the twenty-first century marks a new epoch in the evolution of human relationships: We're free to break away from the rigid, stereotyped thinking that characterized relationships in the 1950s. You have the opportunity to create a "custom-fit" relationship that incorporates the best of the timeless values (commitment, faith, honesty, etc.) with the best of the modern values (equality, flexibility, creativity, etc.). You can create your own set of standards and establish your own goals for your relationship.

The A+ Relationship concept focuses on behavior, not on personality. It's not about making value judgments of people, it's about making honest evaluations of people's behavior. It helps you look directly at how you're doing right now, and then helps you achieve your future relationship goals. What more could you ask for?!

A+ Relationship (a * plus * ri la' shen ship), n.

1. The best intimate relationship you can possibly create. 2. A loving monogamous relationship that is excellent, superior, awesome, exciting, passionate, growing, fulfilling, fascinating, and romantic. 3. An act of creation involving two individuals-two artists whose lifework is creating love through the medium of their relationship. 4. A relationship that, while not perfect, ranks in the ninety-fifth percentile.