271a Time and effort expended are more appreciated than money spent.

Gifts are great, but they can't make up for lost time. Maintaining a loving, romantic connection with your lover means lingering over dinner, spending lazy Sunday afternoons together, walking and talking, etc.

271b Planning doesn't destroy spontaneity-it creates opportunity.

Plan a special gesture for your next anniversary. Plan a surprise birthday party. Plan your work life with time built in for romance.

271c The receiver defines what's romantic.

If you give her flowers, and she hates flowers, it ain't romantic.

If you've spent all day cooking a gourmet meal, and he'd rather call Domino's for a pizza... guess what?

If you've spent a fortune on an outfit for her, and she says it isn't her style, you have no right to be resentful. (This is why you must listen to her and learn her likes and dislikes.) Romance is often-but not always-a spontaneous thing. Sometimes it's the planning that makes the romance come alive.

"The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost."

-G. K. Chesterton 271d Romantics give their relationship the top priority in their lives.

Everything else flows from the relationship, through the relationship, and because of the primary love relationship, if your life is operating in a successfully dynamic manner. This does not mean that one becomes a martyr on behalf of the other. Martyrs hurt themselves, and thus harm the relationship. Healthy relationships always support and nurture each member of the couple.

RULES WERE MADE TO BE BROKEN.

272.

Rule: Don't give cash as a gift.

Breaking the Rule: Unless it's done creatively.

Tape one hundred one-dollar bills together, creating a long banner out of them, and string them throughout the house. If his favorite color is green, tie a stack of one-dollar bills with a green ribbon.

Attach a one-hundred-dollar bill to a Victoria's Secret catalog, along with a note saying, "You choose."

Wrap a one-hundred-dollar bill around the stem of a flower.

Chapter Theme Song:.

"Breaking the Rules," AC/DC Romantics like to break the rules, be unconventional, express themselves, and be spontaneous.

273.

Rule: Don't give gift certificates.

Breaking the Rule: Gift certificates generally don't work because they're too generic. So if you can make them specific, personalized, and "just right" for your partner, go for it!

For gals: A generous gift certificate for her all-time favorite boutique, catalog, or service.

For guys: A gift certificate from Brookstone, Sharper Image, or Radio Shack.

Exception #3, for both: Custom-made gift certificates that express your affection in a special, creative, unique, and/or touching way.

BE MY VALENTINE!.

274 For future reference: buy an extra bag of Valentine Conversation Heart candies and save them for use six months later.

Peanuts 1992. Reprinted by permission of United Features Syndicate, Inc.

275 While sharing stories from their childhoods, Pete told Deb that, because he grew up poor, he was unpopular in grammar school. Every Valentine's Day when the children would decorate their shoeboxes so they could deliver Valentines to each other, Pete's box always remained empty. Deb thought this was the saddest thing she'd ever heard.

For the next Valentine's Day she decorated a shoebox and filled it with Valentines. And Deb promised him that he would never go without a Valentine again.

276 Gals: Stumped about what to get him for Valentine's Day? Try this idea this year: Forget the gift! Just greet him at the front door wearing a big red ribbon-and nothing else.

KISS ME, YOU FOOL!.

277 Of course you know how to kiss, but perhaps a refresher course might add a little spark to your lives. Pick up a copy of a fun little book called The Art of Kissing, by William Cane. In it are instructions for (among other things)...

The Candy Kiss The Sliding Kiss The Counter Kiss The Music Kiss The Surprise Kiss The Vacuum Kiss The Perfume Kiss The French Kiss The Japanese Kiss Trivia: The rock group Kiss has not recorded any romantic songs.

"Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves."

-Albert Einstein 1) Steal a kiss.

2) Give it back.

278 "Butterfly Kisses": You're butterfly kissing when your face is very close to your lover's cheek, and you blink your eye rapidly, softly grazing your eyelashes against her skin.

279 Rent the classic movie Singin' in the Rain. Then...

Take a walk the next time it rains- And sing and dance in the rain together!

Buy her an umbrella in her favorite color.

Buy a golf umbrella-so you can walk comfortably together.

Buy a tiny travel umbrella-so you have to huddle together!

Get him a new overcoat; stuff the pockets with your lingerie.

Vacation in Seattle.

THE MATHEMATICS OF ROMANCE.

280 Great relationships aren't 50/50. They're 100/100.

Having a "fifty-fifty" relationship sounds like a good goal-but it's not. An equitable relationship is not the same thing as a loving relationship. Fifty-fifty really means "I'll meet you halfway." In other words, "I'll work only this hard, I'll give only this much, then it's your turn to meet me halfway." Love is about giving 100%, not merely 50%.

Nobody can give 100% of himself 100% of the time-it's impossible. But you can aim for it, and when you (inevitably) fall short, it'll still be okay. Even if you each fall short by as much as 50%, you'll still be in fine shape; it'll still add up to something close to 100%. The problem is when you're both trying to limit your giving to your "fair share"-usually defined as 50%. If you do that, you'll definitely fall short of 100%.

Give 100% to your relationship. But don't fall into the trap of trying to give "150%." It sounds impressive, but it's impossible to give more than you have. It will just frustrate you and make you feel guilty.

Here's the mathematical formula for romance:

r = a (1-cosA)

Actually, this is the formula for a "cardioid"-a somewhat heart-shaped curve. More precisely, for you romantic mathematicians, a cardioid is "the path of a point on a circle that rolls externally, without slipping, on another equal circle." (Who says nerds can't be romantic?!)

Best Mathematical Love Poem of All Time: See the story titled, "Trurl's Electronic Bard," in The Cyberiad by Stanislaw Lem.

281 5 minutes devoted to romance = 1 day of harmony.

Think of all the times that your failure to do some little thing-like calling to tell her you'll be home late from work, or mailing her birthday card on time-has caused a full day of unhappiness. Consistent attention to your lover will keep your relationship balanced and happy. It doesn't take much! Little gestures go a long way.

282.

Celebrate your 1,000th day together. (That's about 2 years, 8 months, and 26 days-on when the leap years fall.) Celebrate your 10,000th day together! (That's about 27 years, 4 months, and 23 days.)

THE CALCULUS OF LOVE.

283 Be prepared for romantic weekend getaways. Get a road map of your state. Now draw a circle on the map. Make your house the center of the circle, and measure a radius of 120 miles. You've just identified a 45,238-squaremile region that lies within a mere two-hour drive of where you live. Unless you live in Antarctica,* there must be many romantic, exciting, new and different things to do within a 45,238-squaremile area!

Once you've got your circle inscribed on your map, it's time to do a little research: Locate every bed & breakfast in your circle.

Find every park and walking path.

Locate every art gallery, museum, and theater.

Find every mall and store of interest to you and your partner.

Make a list of twenty restaurants that look interesting.

*Romantic things to do in Antarctica: Go tobogganing.

Host a formal party.