THE RELATIONSHIP REPORT CARD.

300 Fill out the "Relationship Report Card."

Instructions: You grade yourself and your partner.

Get your partner to grade him or herself and you.

Compare and discuss your grades; you'll gain great insight into your relationship.

Celebrate everything from a B- to an A+.

Work to improve your Cs and Ds.

Don't be deceived by the seeming simplicity of this exercise! It opens communication, uncovers profound insights, and provides a practical tool for change and improvement.

*How would you grade your relationship?

A = Passionate, exciting, loving, fulfilling; not perfect-but clearly excellent.

B = Very good, solid, better-than-most, consistent, improving.

C = Average, acceptable, status quo, okay-but static, ho-hum, sometimes boring.

D = Below average, unhappy, dismal; bad-but not hopeless.

F = Hopeless, depressing, dangerous; tried everything, it didn't work.

MASTER THESE SKILLS FOR AN A+ RELATIONSHIP.

Fill out the "Relationship Report Card": Grade yourself and your partner (A+ through F, like in school).

Grade Yourself Grade Partner Affection ________ ________ Arguing Skills ________ ________ Attitude ________ ________ Commitment ________ ________ Communication ________ ________ Considerate ________ ________ Couple Thinking ________ ________ Creativity ________ ________ Empathy ________ ________ Flexibility ________ ________ Friendship ________ ________ Generosity ________ ________ Gift-giving Skills ________ ________ Honesty ________ ________ Household Mgmt. ________ ________ Listening Skills ________ ________ Lovemaking ________ ________ Patience ________ ________ Playfulness ________ ________ Romance ________ ________ Self-Awareness ________ ________ Self-Esteem ________ ________ Sense of Humor ________ ________ Sensitivity ________ ________ Spontaneity ________ ________ Tolerance ________ ________

COMMON SENSE.

301 Common sense says, "Do what you do best," and "Use your talents." Sounds good, but the problem is that simple advice is rarely easy to apply.

In a great book, The Acorn Principle, Jim Cathcart explains in detail how you can "nurture your nature." He provides exercises and examples that will help you discover, explore, and grow the seeds of your greatest potential. The Acorn Principle is one of those rare books that will help you improve your work life and your love life.

302 Dot your i's and cross your t's. In other words, pay attention to details.

Don't buy just any flowers-get her favorites.

Make a point of always wrapping his gifts in his favorite color.

Don't buy her gold jewelry when she prefers silver.

You fell in love. You decided to spend your lives together. Isn't it simply common sense to make the most of it??

303 Remember that relationships are not self-regulating! They're delicate creations that require attention, adjustment, and regular oiling.

304 "Walk a mile in his shoes," then rethink your romantic gestures.

After an especially tough week, he'd probably prefer a massage to going out dancing.

Don't bring her flowers when what she really needs is two hours of peace and quiet.

Does she need a quiet respite-or an exciting change of pace? Plan accordingly.

"Love is what we were born with. Fear is what we learned here."

-Marianne Williamson

UNCOMMON SENSE.

305 The "Golden Rule" doesn't always work: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" would lead sports fans to get Super Bowl tickets for their wives, clothes-lovers to buy their partners outfits, workaholics to buy their partners briefcases, and handymen to buy their gals tools!

Try the "Platinum Rule" instead: "Do unto others as they want to be done unto," is a philosophy that gives you deeper insights into your partner. The Platinum Rule helps you see the world through your lover's eyes; it enhances your intuition; it improves your gift-giving skills.

For further insights into this way of thinking, I highly recommend the book The Platinum Rule, by Tony Alessandra and Michael J. O'Connor.

Rose Is Rose reprinted by permission of United Feature Syndicate, Inc. 1990.

306 Contrary to popular belief, you should not use romance to apologize after a fight! If you do, you'll taint all your romantic gestures for a long time to come. (After a fight, a simple, sincere apology is best. Resume romantic gestures after you've both cooled down, or after a week-whichever is later.) Romantics are good at thinking in uncommon ways.

IT'S THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS

307 Couples with A+ Relationships understand that they need to balance these two concepts in their lives: 1) Actions speak louder than words, and 2) It's the thought that counts.

These concepts are two sides of the same coin. Sometimes the action, the gesture, the gift says it all. And other times it's the thought, the meaning, the intention, the words that say it all.

308.

Guys, let's stop: stereotyping women, assuming we know what they think, feeling threatened by feminism, ignoring our feelings, acting macho and superior...

And start: being real, getting in touch, reviving gallantry, giving of ourselves, making our relationships a top priority, listening more.

309.

Gals, let's stop: male-bashing, assuming that all men are romantic boneheads, feeling superior about your relationship skills (which, admittedly, very often are superior), putting down the fledgling men's movement, being a martyr...

And start: giving him the benefit of the doubt, appreciating his quirks, putting yourselves in his shoes, sending him flowers.

310 If you're like me, you probably can't afford to buy an original Renoir for your partner. You might be happy with a poster print, but that may not seem classy enough. Well, now you can get replicas of famous paintings on canvas. Many classic masterpieces are available from The Masters' Collection. Call 800-2-CANVAS, or visit www.masterscollection.com.

Chapter Theme Song:.

"Thinking About You,"

Norah Jones

ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS.

311 Cuddle up in front of a roaring fire. (No TV. No kids. No phone.) G G.

K. R.

312 Carve her initials and yours into a tree.

313 Leave a trail of your clothes, leading from the front door to your bedroom.

314 Fill a basin with hot water. Take off his shoes and socks for him. Sit him down in his favorite chair. Wash his feet. Let them soak for ten minutes. Dry off his feet. Resume life as before.

315 Sara loved Christmas, especially those classic, snowy New England Christmases in Boston. One December was unseasonably warm. And as Christmas approached, Sara was downhearted-and doubly so when her husband Jim announced that he had to work on Christmas Eve.

Jim, a contractor, secretly drove his dump truck three hours north into Maine, loaded it with man-made snow from a ski resort, then drove home, spread the snow on the front lawn, and presented a delighted Sara with a white Christmas.

S.W.A.K.

316 FYI, you can get postage stamps for almost any interest or passion your partner may have. The U.S. Postal Service has issued stamps over the years that illustrate thousands and thousands of topics. This book is a great resource: The Postal Service Guide to U.S. Stamps. Call 800-STAMP-24 and ask for the Philatelic catalog.

Patsy Cline & Hank Williams & Bob Wills Dogs & cats & fish & birds Spacecraft & astronauts & planets & stars All fifty states Lions & tigers & bears (Oh, my!) Flowers & flowers & flowers & more flowers State birds & state flowers & state flags Historical themes & places & people The Olympics Inventions & contraptions Gone with the Wind, The Wizard of Oz Trains, planes & automobiles Peace themes & ecology themes Presidents, presidents, presidents!

Elvis & Marilyn Monroe & James Dean Glenn Miller & Count Basie Cancer awareness Fruits & rocks & shells American history, decade by decade Christmas & holiday themes Bugs Bunny!

Dinosaurs & comic strips Frank Lloyd Wright & the Wright Brothers And, of course, love 317 Did you know that the United States federal government actively promotes love and romance? Well, sort of. They do issue Love Stamps through the U.S. Post Office. Use the latest Love Stamps for all of your love letters, cards, and gifts sent via mail.

318 Mail a greeting card to him or her at work. A sure way to brighten your lover's work day.

319.

Get a framed print of "The Kiss," by Gustav Klimt.

Get a reproduction of the sculpture "The Kiss" by Auguste Rodin.

A romantic ritual: Pause and kiss at your front door.

Ask him to pick a number between one and fifty. Reward him with that number of kisses.