CUSTOMER: Can I have a copy of Can I have a copy of Black Beauty Black Beauty, please?

BOOKSELLER: Of course. You'll find a variety of different editions in the children's section. Of course. You'll find a variety of different editions in the children's section.

CUSTOMER (returning with three in her hand) (returning with three in her hand): I'll have this one (hands over a hardback version) (hands over a hardback version). I wonder who wrote the other two ...

Sarah Henshaw: The Book Barge, Barton Marina, Staffords.h.i.+re,UK. The Book Barge, Barton Marina, Staffords.h.i.+re,UK.ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS:

Oodles of thanks to my wonderful agent, Charlie Campbell, who used to be a bookseller in Paris. He once served a customer who spat cheese souffle all over him. He still doesn't know why they did that.

Many thanks to my lovely editor, Hugh Barker, who used to work at Ripping Yarns.

Big love to Greg for the wonderful ill.u.s.trations, especially for the crucified bunny rabbit.

Many thanks to Jamie and Morag and the rest of the lovely people of Constable and Robinson and Ed Victor Ltd.

Thanks and love to Vanessa, Malcolm, Becky, Polly [and Magnus], and to Celia, Sasha, Sherry, Marie, Gloria, Lucinda and Zoe.

Thank you to the booksellers who submitted their own 'Weird Things.' It was heart-warming [and hilarious] to confirm that customers are saying strange things in bookshops worldwide.

Many thanks to Neil Gaiman and all the wonderful people of Twitter who enjoyed, and spread the word about, 'Weird Things.'

Thanks to everyone at H.tv. [Thank you Jo and Lotty.]

Thanks and love to my wonderful friends and family. [Thank you Dan and Nick.]

Thank you Miles. x

BOOKSELLER: Can I help you at all? Can I help you at all?

CUSTOMER: No, I don't think you're qualified. I need a psychiatrist; that's the only help I need. No, I don't think you're qualified. I need a psychiatrist; that's the only help I need.

BOOKSELLER: ... OK... . OK.

Rachele Willey: Waterstone's, East Grinstead, UK Waterstone's, East Grinstead, UKTable of Contents Tales From the Edinburgh Bookshop Tales From Ripping Yarns Weird Things Customers Say in Other Bookshops