一釐米的陽光， 第六章： 我的小心思

Ji Chengyang worked as a foreign correspondent.

She only occasionally, could hear about his situation from fragments of Nuannuan and Nuannuan’s mother’s chatters. There was not any television at school, so she could only watch it during the weekends when she returned to grandfather’s home.

She would always watched the news closely, especially when there was a major international event. All through the evening, she would not change the channel, only wanted to hear the on-scene reports, or watch on-scene coverages.

There was only one time, she remembered very clearly, in mid-December, when she saw Ji Chengyang on television.

On screen, it was in the deep of the night, raging wind and pouring rain,  Ji Chengyang was wearing a black rain coat, standing inside a shelter structure, looking as if he had just taken off his cap, the upper half of his body completely soaked through, even droplets of water were falling down his hair.

He was explaining about the site of bombing behind him, “I believe, you and the audience can see, just as I am seeing, these buildings behind me after the bombing attack……”

Bombing attack?

Hearing this, Ji Yi was anxious, running to the front of the television, closely examining him, wanting to see as if he had been injured anywhere.

The thing was, there was only the upper half of his body, so it could not really be ascertained.

She watched the screen closely, did not really paid attention to what he was saying.

She suddenly realized, that was the first time she had seen people by her side on television, separated by the screen, yet was in a war zone thousands of mountains and rivers away. She used her hand to feel the screen, the moment it made contact, she suddenly felt embarra.s.sed and quickly withdrew them.

On the television, he was wrapping up, “…… This problem, I think everyone who is paying close attention to the Israel-Palestine conflict could imagine, from now, the Hamas will become the biggest variable in the situation in the Middle East.”

The scene suddenly switched to the anchor, the topic was already turned to the upheaval in Argentina.

He whom she saw on that day, and he whom she saw the year before were not the same.

She suddenly understood what Nuannuan had described as Ji Chengyang’s “that kind of ability to attract people” meant…… The reason his eyes were beautiful, was because there were so many thoughts behind them. His smiles, his chuckles, even his high-spirited laughters, had nothing to do with others.

It seemed……

He had never care how other people looked at him, never paid attention to what was other people’s definition of success.

In this late night, amidst the relentless downpour, wearing a black mud-stained rain coat, traversing through the ruins that had been left after a fresh bombing…… She turned off the television, went into the kitchen and took out the newly bought coffee that had not been opened from the cupboard, as always strictly following the way he had taught her many years ago, made coffee, then lowered her head, drinking a small gulp from the mouth of the cup.

A warm feeling spread out, permeating through her body.

In May, summer suddenly came upon them.

To the point that in their cla.s.s, some people had already started wearing summer school uniform, some people taking advantage of when the teacher was not in cla.s.s, even turned on the fan earlier.

The funny thing was, because the dust from winter had not yet been wiped away, when the electric fan rotated into motion, the entire room was filled with dust.

Cla.s.s leader could not laugh or cry, went to ask for the permission from the teacher, to let the cla.s.s go half an hour early; he with sleeves rolled up, leading the cla.s.s reps to begin cleaning the cla.s.sroom…… Ji Yi ploped the practice papers she had to finish into her school bag, as her mind was still occupied with that big problem of the university entrance exam, she was already being pulled towards the door by Nuannuan.

Cla.s.s leader, stretching up his body at the same time, happened to face Nuannuan; somethings different flashed across his eyes.

“Bye bye, cla.s.s leader.” Nuannuan smiled.

“Um, good bye,” cla.s.s leader answered rather awkwardly, but still did not forget to say, “Don’t forget to do the chemistry homework when you get home.”

“I got it.” Nuannuan pulled Ji Yi, already disappeared in a flash.

Ji Yi could even still recall, half a year earlier, the way Nuannuan had described herself and cla.s.s leader, behind the cla.s.sroom building, had their first kiss one evening after a self study cla.s.s. Fast forward half a year later, the male lead had changed. Cla.s.s leader, other than still specially cared for Nuannaun, did not seem to show any after breakup agony. Ji Yi was especially afraid of hearing these kind of intimate details about breakups, and so, having learned that because Nuannuan felt that the two people’s personalities were not compatible hence an amicable breakup, did not keep on asking any further.

Because it was Friday, there were already all types of cars at the school gate to pick up the students since early hours. Nuannuan pulled Ji Yi onto the car, “Let’s go to Huokou street on Xinjie Rd., my little uncle’s house.”

Ji Yi was surprised, “Your little uncle?”

Nuannuan was delighted, “Yes, he came back just three days ago, I haven’t told you, wanted to give you a surprise, almost suffocated me to death. “Don’t you like to hang out with him? Don’t think that I don’t know.”

…… Is it really that obvious?

However, when the car had arrived at the entrance of the small compound, Nuannuan only handed a key to Ji Yi, after telling her the address, made eyes at her saying: “I’ll go buy some delicious food for my little uncle, and also presents and stuff, you go ahead first. I called just now, but n.o.body answered, he’s probably not at home. You just go and wait inside. Eat whatever you need, drink whatever you need. Don’t act like a guest. If he still doesn’t come back, just wait for when I come back and have dinner with you.”

Ji Yi could not laugh or cry.

She now completely understood what Nuannuan was planning. After breaking up with cla.s.s leader, she started seeing a boyfriend from outside the school; because phone calls and meetings were too really frequent, they were restricted by her mother. And so today, saying that she’s bringing her to see little uncle, is unfortunately probably just an excuse; it fact, it was for her to go see her boyfriend.

If there really wasn’t anyone……

She would probably have to stay hungry until eight or nine, before she got to eat.

But, Nuannuan’s this way of giving her little uncle’s house key to an outsider such as her, is actually okay?

She knocked on the door for a while, n.o.body opened the door.

So she used the key to unlock, pushed open the door, and entered his house.

This was…… her first time entering Ji Chengyang’s home, it’s said that this house is almost always empty, because he is always overseas. But looking at it now, it doesn’t feel unoccupied, there is probably someone often coming here to clean? The interior of the whole house was fundamentally bluish gray and white, that door to the living room and the balcony was not closed, she happened to be able to see the sun setting to the west.

She followed the convention, found a slipper from the shoe cabinet, and walked in.

She found that the bedroom door was half open.

Sneaking a peek through the gap.

Ji Chengyang was hugging a bluish gray blanket the size of the whole bed, lightly curled up his body in a deep sleep, and on the bedroom sofa, covered under his own clothes sleeping soundly was his friend whose was called w.a.n.g Haoran. They both sleep so deeply that none of them heard the knocks on the door?

Ji Yi stood beside the door, looking at him.

She suddenly became aware, that she was still wearing the spring school uniform, the color was a mix of blue and white, and the sleeves because they were too long, were rolled up, a little unsightly…… If it was the black and white checkered skirt for summer, it would look much better .

Wake him up or don’t? As Ji Yi was thinking, the doing of ghosts and G.o.ds made her take off the school uniform outer coat, wearing just the white short-sleeved s.h.i.+rt and blue long skirt, she quietly entered into the room. Standing between the sofa and the bed, she hesitated for a moment, before lying on one side of the bed, looking at him closely.

It’s been such a long time, Ji Chengyang.

Compared to half a year before when she saw him on the television, his hair was now quite a bit longer, softly bending down from his forehead, blocking away the eyes which were close shut. At the corner of his left eye, there was also a tear mole.

Zhao Xiaoying’s mother especially liked to pay attention to these things, and so could tell Ji Yi: this was a tear mole, [the person who has it] will cry often.

When she was young, she quite liked to cry, perhaps he also did?

Also his eye sockets were very deep, she had only recently learned, this was called European double eyelids……

Ji Yi, as if she had happened upon the New World, meticulously examined. His earlobes were especially beautiful, very thin, but…… this was obviously another one of those unlucky facial features that Zhao Xiaoying’s mother had talked about. She finally gave up on examining the facial features, looking down, the collar of his s.h.i.+rt was open with three to four b.u.t.tons undone, exposing his collarbones, so thin…… that she could see such defined collarbones.

A black-colored rope from the back of his neck, fell down along his collarbones, its end strung through a silver-colored bullet.

Probably, there was something that had been sealed in the bottom of the heart for so long, slowly fermenting, eventually brewed into a secret little thought.

A very little thought.