"It doesn't seem right."

"It's not, but that's reality." She didn't like it, but she knew there was nothing she could do to change it. "Other people hold all the trump cards."

"There's got to be some way to change it, or to live with it, to give yourself a decent life. Other movie stars get away from it, they buy ranches and go places where they can live decent. You ought to do that, Miss Tanya." He really meant it, and she smiled at him, as their horses slowed down again, and Gordon watched her with admiration. She was a great rider.

"Don't call me that," she scolded him when he called her Miss Tanya, "just Tanya is fine." They were almost friends now, enough so to talk about her life. It was like what Mary Stuart had experienced with Hartley. One found oneself talking about the oddest things here. One's hopes and one's dreams, and one's disappointments. It was as though the mountains did something strange and put everything into fast forward.

Hartley was talking seriously to Mary Stuart too, and apologizing if he had overstepped his bounds the night before. When he got back to his cabin, he had been afraid that he might have frightened her by being too forward. They had only just met, and yet he felt so close to her, but she had felt exactly the same thing, and rather than being frightened, she had derived great comfort from it. No one had put their arms around her in a year and she was starving for it. She didn't say exactly that to him, but he understood very clearly as they rode along that she hadn't in any way been offended by his behavior, far from it. And it was a great relief to him, as their horses stopped for a moment and took a drink from a little stream, as he looked at her, and she was smiling. It was magical just being there, and they both felt it.

"All I could think about this morning when I got up was seeing you," he said, with a boyish grin. "I haven't felt that way in years, I don't even feel like working. And for me that's rare, believe me." He wrote daily, no matter where he was or how he felt, or what the conditions of his life were. The only time he hadn't written was when Margaret was dying. He had found then that he just couldn't.

"I know exactly how you feel. It's funny how just when you think your life is over, it all begins again. Life always fools you, doesn't it? When you think you have it all, you lose everything, and when you think ail is lost, you find something infinitely precious," Mary Stuart said thoughtfully, looking at the mountains.

"I'm afraid that God has quite a sense of humor," he said as their horses started walking again, and she smiled at him. "What do you like to do in New York?" he asked, still wanting to know everything about her. First he wanted to know, and then he wanted the chance to do it with her. He was excited to know she was going back to New York after spending a week in L.A. with Tanya. He had business to attend to in Seattle when he left the ranch, and he had to spend a few days in Boston, but then he was going back to New York around the same time she was. "Do you like the theater?" he inquired, and they talked about it for a long time. He had a number of friends who were playwrights, and he wanted to introduce her to them, to all his friends in fact. There was so much that he wanted to tell her and show her and ask her. It was impossible to stand still. The two of them talked constantly, and laughed, and shared ideas, and they were both surprised when they wound up back at the corral at lunch time, They hadn't even been looking where they were walking. Tanya and Gordon were well ahead of them, and the doctors were bringing up the rear very slowly. And Mary Stuart was just dismounting when a horse suddenly came racing past them. There was a small figure clinging to it, and Gordon had spotted it before they did. The horse was shooting right through the corral on the way to the barn, and he instantly broke into a gallop trying to stop it, but before he could reach it a small form flew through the air, and landed with a hard thump on the rocky roadside. At first they couldn't see what it was, it was a bit of something, but Mary Stuart knew less by sight than by instinct. It was as though she felt it almost before she saw it. And then the others saw too. The little red cowboy hat lay beside the small heap that was Benjamin. His horse had run away with him. And without thinking, Mary Stuart jumped to the ground and ran to him, with Hartley just behind her, but when she reached the child, he seemed lifeless. He was unconscious, and when she bent her cheek to his lips, he was barely breathing. And she looked behind her in terror at Hartley.

"Get Zoe!" she shouted at him, and turned to the child again, afraid to move him for fear his neck or his back might be broken. She was sure he stopped breathing then, but before she could determine it, Zoe was on her knees beside her.

"It's okay, Mary Stuart... I've got him." There was very little she could do, and like her friend, she was careful not to move him. She tapped him gently on the chest and he began breathing again, and then she lifted his eyelids. He saw nothing, and there was a large wet spot on the front of his jeans, which meant he was deep in unconsciousness and had lost control of his bodily functions. "Do you have 911 here?" Zoe said loudly to the wrangler, and he nodded. "Call them. Tell them we have an unconscious child, head injury and possible fractures. He's still breathing, but his heartbeat is irregular. He's in shock. Get them here as fast as you can." She looked at him to be sure he understood how pressing it was, and the other two doctors hurried over, having just left their horses. Zoe was still touching him and watching him closely, and Mary Stuart knelt next to the child, holding his hand in her own, although she knew it meant nothing. But she didn't want to let go of him, in case somehow he could feel it. Zoe was continuing to examine him and she looked worried. She was sure his neck wasn't broken, nor his spine, and she was feeling his limbs, when his eyes fluttered open and he started crying.

"Oww!!!" He started to scream, "I want my mommy..." He was sobbing and taking in big gulps of air, and Zoe looked happier as she watched him.

"I like that," she said, still checking him all over, and the other two physicians nodded, and as she touched his left arm, he let out a scream. It was broken. But there could have been worse things. And then as he cried, he looked up and saw Mary Stuart, she was still holding his little hand in her own and crying softly.

"Why you cryin'?" he asked, hiccuping on his tears. "Did you fall off the horse too?"

"No, you silly goof," she said, coming closer to him, "you did. How do you feel now?" She was trying to distract him from what Zoe was doing, who was trying to splint the arm with some sticks she asked Gordon to hand her. Hartley was hovering near too, and Tanya was watching, looking shaken. They all were.

"My arm hurts," Benjamin wailed, and Mary Stuart moved a little closer to him, trying not to disturb Zoe. She smoothed down his hair, and if she closed her eyes, it could have been Todd on the ground beside her, she wished it were, it would have been so wonderful to only have to deal with broken limbs or even a head injury. He was alive, he was covered with dust, he was crying... but Todd was gone now.

"You're okay, sweetheart," Mary Stuart said softly, as she would have to her own son. "They're going to fix you all up, and I'll bet you get a cast and everyone will sign it and put funny pictures on it."

"Will you?" He clung to Mary Stuart and ignored the others. No one knew why, but maybe it didn't matter. Maybe he had been sent to touch her, to remind her of what Todd had once been, or that there were other children like him. But what good did it do her... she had lost her baby... and yet somehow, this child had touched her. It was like a visit from her son, or at least his spirit. "Will you go to the hospital with me?" he asked.

"Sure," she said quietly, "but let's see if we can find your mommy. I'll bet she'd like to go with you."

"All she cares about is the baby," he said, in tears again, and now he was pouting as she held his hand and he lay there on the dusty road waiting for the paramedics to come. But now she understood it better. She looked like his mother, so he was drawn to her, and he was angry at his own mother about the baby. Mary Stuart couldn't help wondering if their paths had crossed so she could help him, or perhaps he had come to her to help her. There was obviously a reason for their meeting.

"Benjamin," Mary Stuart said, as she lay on the ground next to him so she could talk to him better, and by then she was as filthy as he was. "I'll bet your mommy loves you better than anyone... babies aren't really that exciting. Sure, she'll be happy to have the baby, and so will you. But you're special. You're the first one. I had a little boy just like you, and he was my special, special one... always. Because I loved him first. Your mommy is never going to love anyone better than she loves you. I promise."

"Where did your little boy go?" He was intrigued by what she was saying, and he had heard her words very clearly.

She hesitated for only a moment. "He went to Heaven... and I miss him a lot... he was very special, just like you are."

"Did he die?" She hated to say it to him, but she nodded. "Our dog died," he said, sharing important information with her, and looking deep into her eyes, and then suddenly without warning he threw up all over her. Zoe wasn't surprised, and told Mary Stuart in an undervoice that he had a concussion.

"You're okay, Benjamin. You're okay, sweetheart," Mary Stuart wiped his face with a towel someone handed her, and she stayed with him, as they all did, until the ambulance arrived with the paramedics. He was actually livelier by then, and Zoe was a little less worried about him. He looked a mess, and so did Mary Stuart, but Zoe was almost sure that he had escaped with a concussion and a broken arm, and a few bumps and bruises. He had actually been very lucky. And just as the ambulance arrived, his mother came lumbering down from the cabins as fast as she could. Gordon had sent someone to get her. And she burst into tears the moment she saw him, but Tanya and Hartley and the two doctors were quick to reassure her, and Zoe told her that she thought the damage was fairly minimal considering how fast the horse had been going, and how hard he had fallen, and he hadn't been wearing a helmet.

"Oh, Benjie," she sat down on the ground next to him, and burst into tears as she held him. "I love you so much." She was completely undone as she looked at all of them and thanked them, and Mary Stuart looked down at him, smiling as she cried, wanting to remind him of what she had told him, that his mom would never love anyone better. She had never loved anyone more than she loved Todd. She loved her daughter passionately, and had from the moment she was born, but she had never loved her more or less than her first baby.

She touched his hand as they put him in the ambulance, and then bent down and kissed his cheek, and it tore at her heart again as she remembered the sweet smell of childhood. Even with the vomit and the dirt and the horses, he smelled like a little boy to her, it was just a step beyond the smell of a baby. "I love you, little guy," she whispered to him. It was just like saying it to Todd again and it almost killed her, except that it felt good too. It was as though this child had come to her to open the floodgates of her feelings. "I'll see you soon," she said, and his mother cried and thanked her again, and then they were gone, and Mary Stuart stood there crying and she didn't know what happened but she suddenly felt a powerful pair of arms around her. She knew who it was, and she turned to him and he pulled her close to him and she couldn't stop crying as he held her.

"I'm so sorry... I'm so sorry..." She didn't even know him, and she was covered with dirt and the little child's vomit, but he didn't care, he just wanted to be there.

"Oh, poor baby... I'm so sorry... I wish I had been there for you." She looked up at him then and smiled through her tears, wondering how she had suddenly been so lucky. Maybe God thought she had paid enough for once, or maybe it was just blind luck, or maybe she was dreaming.

"He looks so much like my son," she tried to explain it to him, but she didn't have to. The woman with the enormous belly looked so much like Mary Stuart, she could have been her younger sister, it was easy to see the resemblance.

"What a terrible time you've had," he said as the others left them alone, and they sat down on a log for a few minutes so she could regain her composure. But just being with him she felt better. Maybe because he hadn't had an easy time either. His wife had died an agonizing death and he had been with her every moment. But she had made her peace with it finally, and he had been willing to let her go. The doctor said he had to do it, to set her free spiritually so she could die in peace. And she had died in his arms on Christmas morning.

"I'm sorry I'm such a mess. He did something to me... he just reached out and touched my heart. I don't know why that happened."

"Some things just happen," he said gently, as he wondered how her son had died, but he didn't want to ask her. And she could sense what he was thinking.

"My son committed suicide," she said as though he had asked her a question, but he hadn't. And she had never said it before to anyone except Zoe. She had never had to. And no one had ever asked her. "He was at Princeton." She told him about it then, and what it had been like, the shock, the agony of it, the funeral, her husband's reaction, all of it. It was a terrible story.

"What a nightmarish experience for all of you. It's a wonder any of you survived it," he said with admiration.

"We didn't. My husband's a zombie, our marriage died a year ago. And I think my daughter would be just as happy if she never had to come home again, and I'm not sure I blame her. I just want to get out of there now, to put it behind me."

"Are you sure?" he asked cautiously, wondering now that he had heard the story. They were all in shock. But what if they came out of it? She and her husband had a long history together.

"I think I'm sure," she said honestly. "I wanted the summer to think about it," and then she smiled, "I never expected anything like this to happen." And she still didn't know what had, or if anything would come of it. Maybe she'd never see him again after two weeks at the ranch. That was a possibility too. She wasn't leaving Bill for him. She was doing it because she had to. "I just need to walk carefully here. I want to do the right thing, for all of us, and I think I know what that is now."

Hartley nodded, and said nothing, he just held her, and a little while later, he walked her back to her cabin. Zoe and Tanya were having a cup of coffee, and Hartley joined them while Mary Stuart went to take a quick shower. They had just heard the lunch bell. And eventually the two women decided to go up to the dining room and get their table. They left Hartley to wait for Mary Stuart. But they were all somewhat sobered by the morning. And Mary Stuart was surprised when she came out of her bedroom, to find that her two friends had gone, and Hartley was still waiting. She thanked him for waiting for her, and he looked at her gently, and she was suddenly worried about him. He had been through a lot too, and he was being very generous with her. She had no right to hurt him by what she was doing.

"I don't want to do anything that will hurt you," she said as she walked slowly toward him. She'd been thinking about it all morning. She was so attracted to him, but she didn't want to be selfish. She hadn't completely resolved the issue of Bill in her head yet, although she thought she was fairly sure of what she wanted to do now. But she still needed a little time before she told him. "You've been so good to me, and I barely know you. You've been kinder than anyone in my life, Hartley, except Tanya."

"Thank you," he said, and sat down on the arm of the couch as he watched her. She was wearing a red T-shirt and jeans, and she made his heart race. "I'm a grown man, Mary Stuart. Don't worry about me. We've both been through a lot, I don't want either one of us to get hurt. But I understand what the risks are. Let me do this. I want to be here with you." She couldn't believe what she was hearing. He wanted to take a chance on her, to see if she left Bill, to wait and see what happened. And then, without saying another word to her, he took two steps toward her and pulled her into his arms and kissed her. She smelled of perfume and soap and toothpaste, everything clean and appealing, and he ran his hands through her hair as he held her. He hadn't kissed a woman in so long he had almost forgotten what it felt like, and neither of them were old enough to give up all they once had. They were like two people who had swum the English Channel and had finally crawled up on shore together, they were cold, they were tired, they were starving, but they were so grateful to have survived, and to be together. He smiled down into her eyes and then kissed her on the lips again, and she had never known a touch as tender. She suspected, without even wanting to, that he would be an incredible lover. She had no idea where this would go, and neither did he, but for the moment, they were here, in Wyoming, together, and it was all they needed.

Chapter 15.

On their third day in Wyoming, Zoe lay in bed and stretched sleepily. It was not quite seven o'clock and she was going to get up in a few minutes. She could hear someone stirring in the kitchen. Mary Stuart had just gotten up, and she was yawning as she started to go to the kitchen to make a pot of coffee, and she almost jumped a foot when she ran into Tanya.

"What are you doing here?" Mary Stuart said in amazement. She had never gotten up at that hour in her life, not even in college.

"Last time I looked, I live here!" She had made coffee, and muffins, and taken a yogurt out of the fridge, and she looked as though she'd already brushed her teeth and washed her face, and when Zoe came out of her room, she couldn't believe it either.

"Is something wrong?" Zoe looked worried when she saw them. Maybe there was a problem of some kind. There had to be a real emergency to get Tanya out of bed at that hour, and she couldn't believe it when she found out there wasn't.

"Oh, for God's sake, what is it with you two? I just wanted to get an early start." But they weren't buying her explanations.

"I know what it is," Zoe said with a broad grin. It was her turn now. Tanya had pressed Zoe about Sam and Mary Stuart about Hartley. "It's Gordon."

"Don't be stupid," Tanya said, "he's a wrangler."

"What difference does that make?" Zoe said matter-of-factly. "He looks at you like you walk on water."

"Oh, bullshit," Tanya said as she bustled around the tiny kitchen, but there was more truth to it than they knew. The previous afternoon, they had talked of many things while they were riding. Little Benjamin's accident had shaken all of them and turned the mood serious. Gordon had talked about his son. He was grown now and Gordon hadn't seen him in two years, but he was obviously fond of him. Tanya spoke of her failed marriage to Bobby Joe, she considered it her only real one, and still regretted that it hadn't held up to the rigors of her career, although she admitted that by now she would probably have outgrown him, but now and then she still missed him. And now that she was alone again, she wondered what it was all about. What was she going to end up with? A bunch of gold records, a pile of money, a big house? She had no husband, no kids, no one to take care of her when she got old, no one to be with, and share her victories and defeats with. It all seemed so pointless, and the place she had reached in her life seemed so empty. It was what everyone in Hollywood wanted, and the truth was it meant nothing to her. It had been serious stuff to share with him, but he had made a lot of sense, and been very comforting to her. He was smart and practical and down-to-earth, and so was she, and in an odd way they had a lot in common. He would have liked to talk to her some more, but they had to go back to the corral, and the wranglers were only allowed to eat with the guests on Sunday, unless they had a day off, which Gordon did. But Tanya liked talking to him. There were many things she liked about him. And she didn't mind his simplicity or his occasional roughness. He was never unkind, or thoughtless, there was nothing greedy or cruel about him, and he was very intelligent. She even liked the fact that they were fellow Texans, but she didn't feel ready to tell the others.

"Are you keeping secrets from us?" Zoe teased her, and Mary Stuart laughed at her too. But Tanya just ignored them and went to finish dressing. She looked particularly spectacular that day in a pair of bleached jeans, and a peach colored T-shirt. She was even wearing a new pair of boots, a pair of apricot hand-embroidered ones that she had bought a while before in Texas.

And when they went to the dining room for breakfast with the other guests, Hartley was waiting for them. He looked very cheerful, and very comfortable as he put an arm around Mary Stuart, and said a warm hello to the others. He smelled of soap and aftershave, and looked very handsome in a white shirt and blue jeans, and Tanya couldn't help thinking that he and Mary Stuart looked terrific together. They looked as though they were meant to be, and Zoe agreed with her, as she commented on it later, on the way to the stables.

Little Benjamin was waiting for them there, and having everyone sign his cast. Tanya gave him a big kiss and an autograph, and a bunch of young girls asked her for one too, and their mothers let them. People were more relaxed about seeing her around, but no one was taking sneaky pictures of her, which she appreciated. And when Gordon saw her, he waved, he was saddling up a bunch of horses. As always they were among the last to ride, and Mary Stuart sat on a bench with Benjamin on her lap, nuzzling his neck, and talking to him. He was like a gift now.

"You sure scared us yesterday, you wild guy you," she said, remembering the sight of him flying toward the stables on the runaway horse and then sailing into the air, and onto the rocky roadway.

"The doctor said I should have broken my neck, but I didn't."

"Well, that's lucky."

"Yeah, and my mommy cried." He looked at Mary Stuart seriously then. "You were right. She says she's never gonna love the baby like she loves me. I told her you said so."

"Good."

"She said I'd always be special." And then he brought tears to her eyes again with a gesture that hit her like a fist to the solar plexus. "I'm sorry about your little boy," he said as he kissed her.

"Me too," she said, as her eyes filled with tears and her lips trembled, and Hartley watched her. "I still love him very, very much," she said, barely able to speak. "He's still very special."

"Can you see him sometimes?" he asked, puzzled by death. They were the kind of questions Todd would have asked her at his age, and she would have tried to answer, but she was honest with him.

"No, I can't. Not anymore. Just in my heart. I see him there all the time. And in pictures."

"What's his name?"

"Todd." Benjie nodded, as though that were sufficient introduction. And then a little while later he got off her lap and went to look at the horses, and then back up to their cabin to his mother. He seemed satisfied with his visit, and then Mary Stuart and Tanya and the others went out with Gordon. Hartley was looking at Mary Stuart, and she smiled. Dealing with Benjamin was still painful. He was so direct with her, but maybe it was healthy for her. It certainly wasn't easy, and Hartley gave her a quick squeeze before she got on her horse and told her she was terrific.

"I don't know what I ever did to get so lucky," she answered.

"Clean living," he teased her. And they had a nice ride that morning. Zoe was looking tired, so she took it easy, and the doctors had gone for a rafting trip in Yellowstone, so she rode along with Hartley and Mary Stuart. And Gordon and Tanya rode on ahead, and he invited her to the rodeo that night. He was in it.

"Are you kidding? What events do you ride in?"

He looked sheepish for a minute. "Bulls and broncs. I've done it since Texas."

"Are you crazy?" She'd been to those rodeos as a kid. The guys got stomped on and dragged around, half of them were brain damaged before they were thirty, the others had so many broken bones, they walked like old men even though they were in their twenties. "That is a really dumb thing to do," she said, looking angry. "You're a smart guy, why risk your life for a couple of hundred dollars, or a silver buckle?" He had ten of them at home, but so what, if he wound up crippled?

"They're just like your platinum records," he said quietly, not surprised at her reaction. His mother said the same thing, and so did his sisters. Women just didn't get it. "Like what you have to go through to get a gold record, or an Oscar. Look at the torture they put you through, rehearsals, threats, bad managers, tabloids. It's a lot easier riding a bronc for ninety seconds."

"Yeah, but I don't get dragged around on my head in horse shit until I'm brain dead. Gordon, I disapprove of this," she said sternly, and he looked disappointed. Maybe she was a big-city girl after all, and not a Texan.

"Does that mean you won't come tonight?" He looked crushed, and she shook her head, but she was smiling.

"Of course I will. But I still think you're crazy." He grinned at her then and lit a cigarette. "What are you riding tonight?"

"Saddle broncs. That's easy."

"Show-off." She was excited about it. She loved rodeos, and she'd been planning to go anyway. He invited her to come see him at the pens, and she said she would if she could find him. It wasn't always easy for her to get around either. If people recognized her, it would restrict her movements, and she might even have to leave if people really surrounded her. She never went to public events like that without a bodyguard, but she didn't want to this time. She was just going to go in her bus, with Tom, and Zoe and Mary Stuart. And Hartley, if he wanted to join them. But Tanya could hardly wait to see it. And she had just the outfit for it.

She was like a kid going to the fair when they got dressed that night before dinner. She came out of her room wearing soft beige suede jeans with fringe down the side, and a matching beige suede shirt with the same fringe and a suede neck scarf. And she had a cowboy hat exactly the same color. It looked very Western, but she had bought it all in Paris, and the suede was so soft it felt like velvet on her body.

"Wow! You Texans!" Mary Stuart complained. She had worn emerald-green blue jeans and a matching sweater, with black alligator boots from Billy Martin's. And Zoe was wearing stretch jeans with a Ralph Lauren military jacket. As usual, they were the best-looking group in the place, and Hartley had started calling them "Hartley's Angels," which amused them.

It was a lively dinner that night, and Benjamin was running all over the dining room while his mother was threatening to go into labor. She said it had been a traumatic week and she couldn't wait to get home to Kansas City that weekend, and Mary Stuart couldn't blame her. It was not the kind of week you would have wanted to have while eight months pregnant, but Mary Stuart was happy she'd met Benjie. He made her sign his cast for a second time, and right after dinner, they went out to Tanya's bus and left for Jackson Hole with Hartley. He had agreed to join them at the rodeo, and he was enthralled by the bus as they drove there. He loved it.

"I can't believe this," he said, amused by all of it. "And I thought I was hot stuff with a Jaguar."

"I drive a ten-year-old Volkswagen van," Zoe confided to him, and he laughed. But it was for a good cause in her case, every penny she had she put into the clinic to buy medicine and equipment.

"I'm afraid the literary world can't compete with Hollywood," he said apologetically. "You beat us hands down, Tanya."

"Yeah, but look at the shit we have to put up with. You people work like gentlemen. The people I deal with are savages, so I deserve this." She justified it and they all laughed, but no one begrudged it to her, not even Hartley. She worked hard for her money.

And in the comfortable bus, the time passed quickly on the way into Jackson Hole from Moose, and half an hour later they were at the rodeo, and they were nearly half an hour early. The ranch had gotten them great tickets. And it all had a familiar smell and feel to it that reminded Tanya of her childhood. It was just the way Tanya remembered it when she was a little girl. She used to ride her pony over and watch all of it. And when she was a little older she rode in it a few times, but her daddy said it was too expensive, and she wasn't all that crazy about horses. She just loved the excitement. It was like the circus.

They took their seats and bought popcorn and Cokes, just as an official of the rodeo approached her. She wondered if there was something wrong, if they'd had a death threat or a security problem, the man approaching them looked extremely nervous, and Hartley became instantly protective and stood in front of her as the man approached them and asked to speak to Tanya.

"May I ask what this is about?" Hartley asked politely, sensing some kind of danger, or imposition at the very least, as she had.

"I'd like to speak to Miz Thomas," he said with an accent Tanya recognized easily as Texas and not Wyoming. "We have a favor to ask her." He peered over Hartley's shoulder at her and added, "As a fellow Texan."

"What can I do to help you?" She stepped forward. She had decided he was harmless, though annoying.

"We were wondering if..." He was sweating uncontrollably, he had been delegated for this task, and he was wishing someone else had done it. And her bodyguard really scared him. He was very well dressed, and a little awesome. It was, of course, Hartley, though she had bought a ticket for Tom too, but she didn't know where he was sitting. "Miz Thomas," the man from Texas went on nervously, "I know you probably don't do this, and we can't pay you anything... but we wondered... it would be a real honor..." she wanted to shake him to help him get the words out,"... if you'd sing the anthem for us tonight." She was so startled she didn't answer for a moment. She had done that before, but there was something touching about it. It was a hard song to sing, but in a way it would be fun to do it. Right out in the open, with the mountains all around them. It was such a sweet idea that she smiled at him, and wondered what Gordon would think if she did it. In a funny way, she wanted to do it for him, to wish him luck on his bronco.

"It would be an honor," she said seriously, and meant it. "Where would you like me to do it?"

"Would you come with me?" She hesitated for a moment, always slightly afraid of the crowd, and what could happen to her, and there was no one to protect her. The others looked a little concerned, but no one had recognized her so far, and it was tempting to just go with him and do it.

"Do you want me to go with you?" Hartley asked, he didn't want her to be in any danger, and he was more than happy to go with her to offer his protection.

"I think I'll be all right," she said in an undertone to him. "I'll stay out in the open, and if you see anything strange happen, or a crowd closing in, get the security right away, call the police, just get them out there." But they might not be fast enough and she knew that.

"I don't think you should do this," he said conservatively.

"It's a nice thing to do though. It would mean a lot to them." And it was a gift she could give to Gordon. She wanted to do it for him and the people of Jackson Hole, Wyoming. "Don't worry," she said, patted his arm, glanced at her friends, and followed the perspiring man from the rodeo down a flight of stairs out of the bleachers and around the ring. They were right out in the open and the others could watch her. What they were proposing was that she stand on a box in the middle of the ring with a microphone and sing, or if she preferred, she could do it on horseback. It was a scenario she much preferred. She was a target either way, but she had more mobility on a horse than on foot, and she was a good enough rider to get out of any situation if she had a horse on which to do it. They were more than happy to have her do it on horseback, and they offered her a beautiful palomino which matched her hair and her outfit. It was more theatrical that way anyway. She only hoped she wasn't making herself an easy target for a crazy with a gun. It was an awful way to think, but when she did concerts, she had to. Her agent would have had a nervous breakdown, if he'd known what she was about to do, with no protection, and for free yet. But the little girl from Texas still lived in her. If she had thought when she was a child she would sing the anthem at the rodeo one day, she would never have believed it. It was something she had never done, and used to dream of, as a kid from Texas. And she agreed to do it on horseback. They explained to her that she'd go on in the next ten minutes. And as she looked around, she wondered if she'd see Gordon, but she didn't. No one seemed to be in the least aware of her presence, or what was coming. No one knew she was in the audience, or so she thought, although the people from the rodeo said that the girl at the ranch who'd ordered the tickets for her had said who they were for, which annoyed her a little, but it was hard to control that. Someone always said something. But the crowd at the rodeo was in no way prepared for the announcement that was made as the rodeo began, nor was Gordon.

"Ladies and gentlemen," the grand marshal said into a mike as he sat in the ring on a big, black stallion. "We have a real treat in store for you this evening. The Jackson Hole Rodeo welcomes you tonight, and to thank you for coming here to see our bulls and our broncs and our cowboys, we have a real nice lady who's going to give you quite a treat. She's going to sing our anthem. She's visiting Jackson Hole," and as he said it, Tanya prayed he'd have the brains not to say where she was slaying, and the others hoped the same thing as they sat in the bleachers, but mercifully he didn't. "And she's pretty familiar with the rodeo herself. She's a Texas gal... ladies and gentlemen," there was a powerful drumroll from the members of the high school band who were about to play the anthem, "I give you... Tanya Thomas! Tanya Thomas!" And as he said the words, a cowboy opened the gate, and she galloped into the ring on the palomino. She made an incredible sight with her blond hair flying out behind her. She was holding the mike in one hand and the reins in the other, and the horse was livelier than she'd expected, and she was praying she wouldn't fall off before she got to sing the anthem. And according to plan, she galloped once around the ring, and then walked the horse into the middle, smiling at the crowd and waving as they screamed and cheered her. People were on their feet and unable to believe their good fortune. And for a fraction of an instant, she was afraid they would stampede her. She could almost smell it brewing. And she wished she could see Gordon, but she couldn't. He was standing far behind her, straddling the bronc pens, unable to believe what he was seeing, or the crowd's reactions. He was surprised that she hadn't warned him, but he watched as the crowd continued to scream and shout her name, and stamp their feet in rhythm. But she was holding up a hand, and they stopped finally so they could hear her.

"Okay, now... I'm excited to see you too, but this isn't a concert. It's a rodeo... and we're going to sing our anthem, so let's settle down. It's a real honor for me to be here," she said it with such feeling that they actually quieted down and really listened. "This is a special song for all of us Americans," she said, plucking at their heartstrings. "And I want you to think about what it says, and sing it with me." She bowed her head for a minute and there was an instant of silence and then the band began, and they played it better than any professional orchestra she'd ever heard play it. They were doing it just for her, and she sang her heart out for the people of Jackson Hole, and the tourists, and her friends, and the people of Texas... and Gordon. She sang it mostly for him, and hoped that he knew that. She knew what the rodeo meant to him, the same thing it had meant to her as a little girl in Texas. It was the high point of his existence, at least it always had been. But at that moment, the only thing he could think of was her, and what he was hearing and seeing. He had never seen or heard anything more beautiful than Tanya singing the anthem, and he wished he had it on tape, so he could play it forever. It brought tears to his eyes, and to almost everyone who heard her. And they went absolutely insane when she finished. She gave them one last wave and galloped out of the ring, before they could leap over the barricades and mob her. She was out the gate before they could move, and had the mike in the hands of the man from the rodeo who kissed her on the cheek so hard he almost knocked her over, and then she dismounted and literally disappeared into the crowd, and headed toward the bronc pens to see if she could find Gordon. She was shaking with excitement.

No one actually saw where she went, and she moved so quickly that they lost track of her in the crowd. Even Hartley couldn't see her now, and Mary Stuart and Zoe were worried about her, hut she knew exactly where she was going. She had hung around rodeos too long not to know how to find the bronc pens, and within two minutes she saw him, still looking dazed, astride pen number five. And as though he sensed her nearby, he looked down and saw her. And he clambered down the rails like a monkey until he stood beside her. He towered over her, and she was beaming.