The Last Sin Eater - The Last Sin Eater Part 26
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The Last Sin Eater Part 26

"No."

"What if I don't remember everything I 'm to tell him?

What if I say it wrong and he won't believe?"

"God will give you the words to speak. Trust in him, Katrina Anice. He loves you. Y ou are very precious to him. The Lord has counted every hair on your head. He has all your tears in a bottle. He has written you in the palm of his hand. He has called you by name."

334My whole body was covered with goosebumps at her words. "The Lord loves me?"

"Oh, yes." She came closer, so close I could feel the warmth radiating from her. "And the Lord loves Sim, too.Y oumustn't worry about what you're to say to him.

Y ou mustn't hold back when the time comes."

"Should I go now?"

"Y ou'll know the time."

"Will it be soon?"

"Soon, Katrina Anice. Soon you will go forth in the name of the Lord.""Cadi?" Bletsung put her hand on my shoulder, and my eyes popped open. I was lying on my back in bed, not sitting at the foot of the bed as I 'd thought. "Y ou're talking in your sleep, darlin'." I was trembling violently and she drew me close, pulling the quilts up more snugly around us. "Was it a bad dream, Cadi?"

"No."

"Y ou're shaking like a leaf in the wind. Are ye cold?"

"No."

"Can ye tell me about it?"

The Spirit within me stirred. "Y es, I can." Turning to her, I sat up. Drawing the corner of Elda Kendric's basket-of-flowers quilt around me, I talked. Oh, how I talked. All 336the rest of the night, I kept on, telling Bletsung Macleod everything I 'd been told down by the river.

And then the sun came up over the mountains, a spear of brilliance coming straight through the window where she always sat looking up at Dead Man'sMountain, up where the sin eater lived. Oh, how Bletsung Macleod wept. She wept and wept and grasped me close, and then I knew.

The Lord had saved her, too.

335.

Seventeen.

We'd only just arisen from bed when someone helloed the house. Fagan came fully awake of a sudden and held his arm around his ribs as he struggled up in haste. "I t's my mother!" He panted against the pain that was so clearly etched on his disfigured face.

I clambered from the bed and ran to peer out the window while Bletsung yanked her dark skirt over her head and buttoned it over her nightgown. "She's coming up," I said, heart racing. "She's coming!"

"Stay back from there, Cadi! She'll see ye.

"She's alone. Leastwise, I canna see anyone with her."Fagan raked his fingers through his hair. "Pa never gets up this early. She must've come of her own. I t ain't like her. Summat's terrible wrong."

"Stay put," Bletsung told him. "Y e'd better sit, Fagan.

Y e look ready to keel o'er.""Helllloooo . . ."

Bletsung took her shawl from the back of a chair and threw it around her shoulders, 337her face tight and withdrawn. "I never thought to see Iona in my part of the valley again," she said grimly. Opening the door, she went out. Iona Kai didn't stop when she appeared, but kept on until she was close enough to throw a stone through the window.

"What do you want, Iona?" Bletsung called out. She stood at the top of the steps, back straight, chin up in challenge. "What're ye doing here?"

"I 'm lookin' for my son!"

"Brogan's already been here looking for him!"

There was a heavy moment, and then Iona Kai said derisively, "I t ain't the only time he's been here, is it, Bletsung Macleod?""Y e always did have a nasty mind, Iona. And an even nastier tongue."

"Y e know where my boy is, don't ye?"

"And if I did, why would I be telling the likes of you?"

"He's my son, not yours. Y e'd understand if ye'd ever had children of your own."

"Y ou and all the rest saw to it that'd never happen, didn't ye?"

They was stinging one another with words, dredging up hurts from years past. I kept listening, trying to make sense of it all.

338"Come away from there," Fagan said.

"I will not."

"I t was God's doing, not mine," Iona Kai said with less belligerence.

"Don't be looking at your feet when ye say it, Iona.

Look me in the face. I t was God's doing? Y e sure about that?""I had nothing to do with it!" the woman shouted angrily.

"Did I say ye did? The part ye had was turning folks away from me afterwards."

"Never did I do such a thing as that."

"Y e did and well ye know it! Y ou and your vicious lies.

I ain't never cast a spell in my life!"

"I dinna come to talk about the past, Bletsung."

"Maybe not, but it's there between us, ain't it, Iona?

High as a stone wall, and ye built it yourself. Brogan married ye, didn't he? Y e got what ye wanted. Why did ye add to my misery?"

"I hate you, Bletsung Macleod! The devil take ye! I hate you so!"

"Aye, I know ye do."

Iona Kai began to cry, her face fierce in humiliation.

"Where is my son, you witch! Where is he?"

I 'd always thought Iona Kai a quiet, down-pressedwoman, yet here she stood, 339spewing words so filled with hate it fair scorched the house. When I looked back at Fagan, I saw his face was pale as ashes and grievous shamed.

Bletsung stood on the porch, the shawl pulled tight around her, her chin held high in grave dignity. "Y e dunna deserve a boy like Fagan, Iona."

"Y ou've no right to speak to me so!" "Right or not, I 'm speaking my mind. A mother ought to protect her own son."

"I t ain't a woman's place to stand against her own husband, but ye wudna understand these things, not having one."

"Even when the mon's doing wrong? What sort of a wife and mother are ye to stand aside and watch your man sin and your son pay the price for it? I 'll tell ye this, Iona. I 'd stand against hell itself to protect Fagan, and he ain't even mine."

"Fagan! I f you're in there, lad, come out!" Weary and hurting, Fagan walked toward the door."He's safe, Iona. Or don't that matter to ye? He's mending from the beating Brogan give him because he stood up for the man by the river. A man of God! Did ye not know?"

"He shouldn't've stood against his da. He shouldn't've done it! I f he'd listened to his father, none of this would've happened. He 340should've stayed away like he was told."

"Fagan done what was right!"

"He belongs with his own kin!"

"And what'll happen to him if he goes home now, do ye think? Has Fagan's da changed his mind? Y our son took every word that man said into his heart, Iona. He ain't going to follow in the Kai's footsteps anymore. He belongs to the Lord now."

"I want him back!"

Why.?

"Y ou can't have him! He's my son! I 'll not leave him here:""There's the truth of it, aye? Y e're still blind with jealousy after all these years, so jealous ye'd rather put your own flesh and blood in danger than let him be with me?"

"Fagan!Come out here, boy. Come out to your mama."

Fagan looked at me sadly and then, resigned, opened the door. Steeling himself against the pain, he walked out and stood in the shadow of the porch. I knew it weren't only the pain of the cuts and bruises from the blows and kicks he'd taken. He was heartsick.

And so too was I . My heart ached so, I went out and stood beside him. He didn't know I was there until I took his hand firm in mine.

"Y ou there, girl! Get away from him! "

341Iona Kai's face was mottled red. "This is your doing!" I 'd never seen a woman look more twisted and ugly. She scarce looked at Fagan, so intent was her hatred against Bletsung and me. She was casting blame left and right and not keeping a particle for herself. "I knew ye had him! I knew it! Soon as I get home, I 'm telling Brogan how ye hid his son away fromhim. Then he'll see ye for what ye are!"

I went cold at her threat, remembering what he done to the poor man by the river. Would he do the same to us? I t had been clear enough then that he had no great love for his own flesh and blood.

Bletsung stepped forward, her face pink. "Y ou tell him, Iona. Y e do that because if ye don't, thenexttime he comes here, I 'll tell himmyself."

The words struck hard and Iona's mouth worked.

"Come on, boy. Y e're going home where ye belong."

I held tighter to his hand. "Y e don't have to go, Fagan.

Stay here with us."

"Let go of me, Cadi. I have to go."

"They don't love you! They don't love you the way we do! T ell him, Bletsung."

"He knows, Cadi."

"Let go, I say."

Biting my lip, I did as he said and fled to342Bletsung in my grief, grasping her around the waist. She put her arm around me, holding me close.

"Y e can stay, Fagan," she said in a wobbly voice. "Y e can stay with me as long as ye like."

"She's my mother, ma'am. The Lord says to obey, don't he? I got to hold to that. I gotta hold to God or I ain't got nothing." He took another step and looked back at her. "Whatever hurt she's caused ye, I 'm truly sorry for it."

Bletsung reached out and cupped his cheek briefly.

"Get away from her!" Iona screamed at her son.

Fagan winced at the awful sound of her rage. Turning away from us, he went down the steps clumsily, holding to the railing for support. Iona Kai walked toward the house, shoulders back in defiance and challenge.

When Fagan reached the bottom, he straightened and let go of the rail. Raising his head, he looked at his mother. She stopped and her face went terrible white.

Her hands went to her mouth. He walked toward her, hurting with every step, and she just stood there, staring and staring at him, her hands pressed over her mouth. When he stood before her, she didn't move."I t's all right, Mama."

343"Oh." Reaching up, she touched his bruised and battered face in disbelief. "Ohhhh." Turning away, she bent at the waist. "Ohhhhhh," she wailed, dropping to her knees and rocking.

Fagan put his arms around her. "Mama . . ."He drew her up. Turning, she clung to him, sobbing against his bloodstained shirt.

Bletsung put both her arms around me and looked away. I could feel her body trembling violently.

I listened to Iona Kai's keening, and the Spirit within me stirred. "I t's coming to right. I t's coming to right."

"I 'd drag him back if I thought I could make him stay,"

Bletsung said in a broken voice. "They don't deserve a son like him. They don't deserve a son at all."

"Hush now. I f ye can forgive her in your heart, it'll come to rights for ye, too. Y e'll see." I didn't know how I knew, I just knew. God had lit a lamp in me, and it was burning brightly.

Bletsung Macleod gave a soft, broken laugh andlooked down at me. Cupping my face, she smiled.

"Y e've ever been a strange one, Cadi Forbes. Stranger than I ever was. I could forgive her a month of Sundays, and it wouldn't matter a whit to how she feels 344about me.I learned a long time ago not to put much hope in people, especially Iona Kendric."