We're safe."

"For now" Fagan sat on the edge of the bed. He stared solemnly at Bletsung 322Macleod. "He'll come back, won't he?" She lifted her shoulder, her expression showing nothing.

His eyes narrowed slightly. "What's between you and my father?"

"Nothing."

"Then why're ye so red?"

She sighed. "I t was a long, long time ago, Fagan, before you were born." She sat down at her table, looking weary and sad. Resting her elbows on the table, she put her face in her hands and rubbed her forehead as though it ached.Fagan got up and came over, sitting in the chair opposite her. That determined look was on his face.

He folded his hands on the table, never once taking his eyes from her. "I want to know."

She lowered her hands and looked at him. She looked at him a long time. I reckon she saw he wasn't going to give up until she answered. "He wanted to marry me."

"Y e mean he loved you."

"Once, a long time ago, he thought he did. Or maybe he just felt bad about what happened and it being his father's doing and all. I don't know anymore, Fagan. I t don't matter now anyway. I t was years ago.Thetruth be told, Brogan Kai could've been the king of England come to call on me and it 323wouldn't've mattered. I loved another. I love him yet and will always."

I came closer. "The sin eater."

She raised her head and looked at me. "Aye, my dear," she said with a sad smile. "I love the sin eater.""Y e must hate my father," Fagan said. "Y ou and the sin eater both."

Bletsung leaned across the table and put her hand over his. "I t was Laochailand Kai who demanded a sin eater, not your father. Some said no, but in the end everyone gave in out of fear. The old man told Brogan he'd walk these hills sure if his sins wasn't taken from him. And we all believed he would."

"He was so bad?"

"Cold cruel. He let it be known to everyone in these parts that he'd left Scotland for good cause. Summat terrible, we knew, but not what. And there're stories of how this highland valley came to fall into our hands. He was a bloody Scot if ever there was one and proud of it. Everyone feared him." She withdrew her hand. "But there were others as bad."

"My father," he said grimly.

She shook her head and rose from her chair. She went to the stool by the window and sat, staring out atthe mountain as she often did.

324"So how did it happen?" Fagan said. "How was the sin eater chosen?"

"Pieces of bone were used, a mark for each man placed on each one. They were put in a mazer bowl and stirred and one drawn out by Cadi's grandmother, Gorawen Forbes. She cried when she saw whose marker she held, but she turned her back to him just like all the rest."

"And you?"

She turned the stool, looking back at us. "I would've stood against the old Kai myself if Sim'd let me, but he said God himself had drawn his name from that bowl of sorrow and there weren't nothing we could do to change it. So I ran away and came back here. I ain't never had much to do with the people of this valley since, and only a few ever came by.

"The Kai," I said.

"Aye, and Gervase Odara comes a couple times a year for my honey, and when the sin eater's needed,"

she said bleakly."They just left ye alone all these years?" I said, saddened.

"Not all of 'em." She smiled at me. "Y our granny came years back before she began ailing. She and Elda Kendric both. I always knew I 'd see them ladies in the fall when the leaves turned red and gold, and again 325around Christmas, and in the spring." She laughed at the pleasurable memories. "Y our granny always came when the summer flowers were in bloom, and she'd have a basket of bluets for me. They never came empty-handed. They'd bring chestnuts or a jar of melon-rind pickles or apple butter, and I 'd send 'em home with honey. Elda came once by herself and gave me that flowered quilt you're sitting on, Fagan." She frowned, perplexed. "I never did understand why she give it to me, especially since Iona had just given birth to Cleet, but she insisted I have it."

"Miz Elda ain't never given my mother nothing that I know about," Fagan said, frowning slightly. "They've never had nothing to do with each other that I know about. Why would she?"

"Summat must've happened to put up a wall between'em," Bletsung said. "I t's a sorrowful thing to be cut off from loving kin."

"Must be so," I said. "Miz Elda sent all her kin over the mountain years ago."

"Not all of 'em."

"What do ye mean?" Fagan said, studying her.

Bletsung Macleod looked between us. "Don't ye know?"

326We looked at one another and then back at her.

"Know what?" Fagan said. "What've ye been told about Elda Kendric?"

"Pa said to stay clear of her. Said once she's worse than the plague. Only time I ever heard him mention her was when he was cursing her, and he won't have her mentioned in the house."

"And your mama?"

"She's never said a word about her."

Bletsung's eyes filled with tears.Fagan searched her face. "What about Miz Elda?"

She shook her head, tears slipping down her cheeks. She looked away again.

"T ell me!"

She looked back at him, her blue eyes tear washed and fierce. "Don't use that tone on me, boy. I t ain't for me to say more than I have. Miz Elda must have her own reasons for keeping silent. Maybe I 'll go and ask her about 'em. Lord knows, I 've missed talking with her." She looked away. "Time passes and we look to the things that won't hurt us, like the work that needs doing in the garden and the bees and putting up food for the winter. And all the while, people grow old and pass on, breaking off a piece of our hearts and taking it with 'em until there 327ain't nothing left but a hollowness inside." "Y e could go visit Miz Elda," I said, feeling her misery as though it was partly my own. "She'd welcome ye sure.

Y ecouldsit on her porch and visit with her alldaylong if ye liked."

Bletsung laughed sadly and shook her head. "No, I couldn't, Cadi.""Why not?"

"Because she'd have to cross Kai Creek to get to there," Fagan said grimly.

"That ain't why," Bletsung said. "Y e mustn't think your father's the only reason I 've stayed to myself all these years."

"Why then?" I asked.

"I know my place."

But Fagan was set in his mind. "I 've got to leave here. I 'll bring more trouble on ye if I don't."

"Y our father won't bother me."

"He will if he thinks I 'm here."

She smiled. "We'll make sure he doesn't find out."

Fagan scraped the chair back. "How ye plan on doing that? I can't stay cooped up in your house for the rest of my life, ma'am. I t ain't right for me to stay here and soon as I can, I 'm leaving!"She stood, facing him across the room. "And go where? Back home to your bloody 328minded kinfolk? I fear for you, Fagan.Y e think anything will've changed now your pa's killed that preacher? I con tell ye it won't. I t'll be worse than ever.

Y e go against the man and who'll stand with ye? Y our ma? No. Y our brothers? Never! Y e'll stand alone, and he'll lay into ye worse than before and maybe kill ye this time. Is that what ye want to happen?" He just looked at her, his eyes bleak.

Her face softened. "Y e're safe here and welcome to stay as long as ye like," she said more gently. She rose from the stool. "I 've chores to do."

Grimacing in pain, Fagan rose as soon as she was gone. He jerked his arm away when I tried to help him.

"I can manage to make it to the bed by myself."

I stood in the middle of the room, hands at my sides, watching him. He eased down onto the bed, wincing as he stretched out. Where could he go and not be found?

"There's a place where he'll be safe, Katrina Anice,"

Lilybet said, standing at the end of the bed whereFagan lay. "Y ou know where."

I t came like a flash of insight. "I know." Fagan turned his head and looked at me. "Y ou know what?"

I cocked my head, looking at Lilybet, wondering at her. "Should we go now?"

329"No, but rest assured. Y ou will know the proper time."

"I thought I 'd have to go alone."

She smiled. "The Lord sent his disciples out two by two."

"Are ye talking to yourself again?" Fagan said, annoyed. "Why do ye have to act so crazy?"

I grinned at him. "I ain't crazy. I know where we can go and no one will follow."

"Where?"

I strode across the room and tugged the quilt up over him. "Go back to sleep, Fagan. When the time comes, I 'll show ye the way."There was plenty of work for me to do around Bletsung Macleod's place, and I didn't mind pitching in.

Sometimes she'd stand and watch me, smiling as she went back about her own chores. We didn't say much to one another, but it was an easy silence, the land itself filled with sounds aplenty. A stirring of air rustled the leaves in the oak, hemlock, white pine, and red spruces while birds swooped, soared, and sang. Bees hummed with busy contentment while insects cricked in the tall grasses of the nearbymeadow. And there was the creek with its melody of water on rock.

I didn't think much about Mama until I 330saw her standing near the curtain of mountain laurel. My heart jumped at the sight of her so silent and mournful, watching me work beside Bletsung Macleod.

When I stopped and straightened, looking back at her, she turned quietly away and disappeared among the green tangle of vines. My throat closed so tight, I thought I 'd choke. Part of me wanted to run after her.

Part was glad she'd gone away.

"What is it?" Bletsung said, looking toward the forest near the creek."Nothing," I said and started hoeing again, my eyes hot and gritty. I 'd never known Mama to walk so far.

She must've gone to Miz Elda's and heard I 'd come here, then come all the way to the end of the valley to see for herself. I wondered if Miz Elda had told her the Kai had killed the manof God. Did she care that he was gone?

Feeling a trickle of moisture, I wiped my cheek with the back of my hand and kept at the hoeing. What had Mama been thinking when she was standing there watching me? That she was well rid of me? Why had she wasted so much of the day just to look at me and turn away again?

"Y ou all right, Cadi?"

"Just sad is all." I 'd made up my mind not to lie anymore.

331Bletsung watched me a moment and then looked toward the woods. "I don't know a soul in this valley that ain't sorrow filled."

We worked in her garden until the heat of the day was heavy upon us and then went back into the house.

"Oh," Bletsung said, smiling, and headed straight forthe window where two dead rabbits lay on the sill. She peered out and then drew back in dismay. "He's been and gone already. I wonder why he went away. He's been so eager to hear what ye heard from the man down by the river."

"He must've had a reason." He'd probably seen Mama.

Fagan dressed the rabbits, and Bletsung stewed them. Then we three waited all evening for the sin eater to come back, but he didn't.

"Sometimes he goes up to the mountaintop,"

Bletsung said, tucking me in for the night. "He'll come down again when he's ready."

Fagan insisted he sleep on the floor. He argued so long and hard, she gave in and let him sleep on the pallet she'd made before the fire.

The winds came up that night, keening the advance of fall. I awakened once to rain pounding on the cabin roof. The night was so black it even doused the stars.

Only the332embers in the dying fire glowed. Shivering, I tucked myself closer to Bletsung Macleod's warmth.

Even then, I could not sleep. I kept thinking of the sin eater sleeping in that cold cave in the side of the mountain. The grieving lay like a heavy burden on my heart. What must it be like living up there all alone when the savage winds of winter were blowing over the rocks and through the trees, and there wasn't another living soul around to keep him company.

"There's God," Lilybet said.

I sat up, but it was too dark to see anything. "Aye, but does the sin eater talk to him?"

"His heart has cried out to God for a long, long time, Katrina Anice. God hears those who seek him. He embraces the rejected. He is father to the fatherless, light to the blind, a path to the lost . . ."

My heart burned within me. I knew it was the word of the Lord I was hearing, and I was filled to overflowing with hope. Sim's salvation was at hand; God would come to him. "I thought it was all over when the Kai killed the man," I said in a hushed voice. "I was so scared.""Y ou've only just begun, Katrina Anice. Never fear.

God is with you."

Excited now, not feeling the cold at all, I 333crawled out from beneath the covers, careful not to brush against Bletsung Macleod and awaken her. I crept carefully to the end of the bed and sat cross- legged at the end of the bed, eager to hear more.

"Begun what?"

"Y ou've begun your walk with the Lord. Y ou opened your heart to Jesus Christ, and you were baptized at the river. Y our eyes and ears are open now. Y our mouth will be opened, too."

"I 'll go up on the mountain again and tell the sin eater everything the man told me."

"Y es."

"Will it grieve him?"

"Y es."

"Oh," I said slowly, thinking. "Can I only tell him a wee bit at a time so he takes it in easier and it won't hurt so much?"much?"