Chapter 3 – Facing Imminent Danger, Parting Ways

On the second day, I ate and drank my fill, contentedly sitting in the prisoner’s cart with Xiao Huangto head towards the capital.  Xiao Huang stroked the thin white cotton cloth wrapped on top of my head, blinking his big, watery eyes.  Marveling, “Xiao Yi, yesterday the white cloth I saw covering your head was still old and dirty, in the course of one night, how did it become new?”

…..Can I say that this thin white cotton cloth was torn from Yan Ping‘s inner garment?

Xiao Huang hearing this, would be scared to the point where his eyeb.a.l.l.s drop out, right?

Since long before, Yan Ping has hated me to the bones. Even I don’t understand. I only just told him that I am a female, but unexpectedly, was able to provoke the protective feelings he had towards the fairer s.e.x, causing him to tear his own inner garments for me to wrap my wound.

I rubbed my face.  Coa.r.s.e skin, thick flesh, obviously not considered charming features…..that year, when he used the strategy of seducing me with his male beauty, I gave him all my beauty and soul….if it was that year….if it was that year, how great would that be?

That year, I hated that I couldn’t shatter my flesh and dissolve my bones for him….

It’s a pity, last night when he bound my head wound for me, a single line was spat out, “Based on your skills, you should have been able to avoid it, so why didn’t you avoid it?”

That pair of gentle eyes steadily watched me.  After so many years, I still cannot feel out his thoughts, and nowadays, am disinclined to waste my consideration.  Immediately I laughed, “I’m a man!”

He knocked me once on the head.  Right away, a rivulet of blood flowed out, but I was completely senseless to it and was still smiling brilliantly.  His color changed, hastily fis.h.i.+ng out blood-staunching medicine from his bosom.  He forcefully poured it onto my head, all the while reproaching, “Don’t you know how to feel pain?  And know how to try and dodge…..”

Presently I am without money, without anyone but myself.  Without love and without hate.  Even without worries.  I was thus without fear that he was scheming something.  Smiling, I bit into the meat pancake he had brought over and unconcernedly said, “Doesn’t hurt.  Since long ago, I haven’t known how to feel pain.”

He became furious, ferociously saying “An Yi, don’t play the fool in front of me!  What temper you have, you think I don’t know?”

I continued chewing my meat pancake, blankly thinking, what kind of temper do I have?

The An Yi of the past swore to Yan Ping that…..but that was only just the past.

The past has long ago become floating dust!

Suddenly I felt my body get p.r.i.c.ked.  It truly did not hurt.  I kept eating my meat pancake as before, thinking to first fill my stomach, but he, fl.u.s.tered and exasperated, stole my meat pancake and threw it onto the floor, angrily saying “Eat eat eat, you only know how to eat!  This is the most painful acupuncture point on a person’s body. You can actually endure it?”

I remorsefully picked up that half of a meat pancake, blew off the dust on top, and continued to stuff it into my mouth, really not understanding why the once gentle person was now irritable to this degree.  Not wanting to anger him, in the end I could not help but speak the truth,  “Since three years ago, I have already not been able to feel pain…..I’ve tried it out.  Whether it be grabbing a pincus.h.i.+on or a sword to stab with, I never feel pain.”

The surprise in his eyes became stronger, along with what appeared to be sorrow, as though it was he himself who had lost his sense of pain.  If I didn’t know that he has always extremely disliked me, without even a thread of romantic feelings towards me, I’m afraid I would be under the impression that his heart was aching for me. I patted his shoulder with my oily hands, conceitedly smiling, “Actually, this is also nothing.  Without pain, that year, in the battle between the great Chen and the great Qi, I was able to charge ahead without fearing death.  In any case, there was no longer any pain.  Even if I were to die, it would be nothing more than to lose consciousness.”

His face suddenly became deathly pale, and he remained silent for a long while.  It’s not clear whether he was recalling that battle or recalling the defeat of our country, the crumbling of city walls……I still had meat pancakes, eating them merrily while sighing, “If it is possible to have meat pancakes along the way tomorrow, so that I don’t starve while riding the prisoner’s cart, then this life will be comparable to that of the immortals right?”

A pool of water suddenly welled up in his eyes, unexpectedly looking as though they were about to spill forth tears.

I couldn’t help but burst into laughter, pointing at him and incredulously saying, “General Yan, you can’t be shedding these few sympathizing teardrops just because I’m fated to be beheaded in the city right?  Or is it that losing me, this kind of an adorer, has caused you so much distress that you would drop these few tears? ”

He embarra.s.sedly turned his head away.

“Hey hey, I spoke wrongly didn’t I?  Just with me falling, there are still countless young ladies from the capital whose eyes are especially discerning.  With General Yan‘s young and martial appearance, the amount of admirers are endless.  General doesn’t need to be depressed.  Absolutely no need to be!”

Amidst the sound of my laughter, he fled.

So since then, for the entire journey, besides the soldiers who punctually served up meat pancakes, I never saw Yan Ping approach the prisoner’s cart again.

Xiao Huang sat across, anxiously staring at me.  “Xiao Yi, why won’t brother Yan Ping come see us?”

How would I know his thoughts?

But I still expertly tricked Xiao Huang.  Feigning a forlorn expression, “Probably because he dislikes me…..”

Xiao Huang whacked the manacles on his body against the prisoner’s cart so that they clinked and clacked a few times.  Seeing that the escort soldiers a few steps outside were not paying any attention to the clamor on this side, he very carefully scooted over to me.  “Xiao Yi, aren’t you always the most resourceful?  It would be best to think of a way for us to escape right?  I heard that GreatQi‘s emperor, Feng Zhao Wen, can give orders for someone to be beheaded without even blinking…..”

I leaned back.  My neck was unfortunately restrained by a wooden cangue, and was rather uncomfortable.  Left with no options, I breathed a long sigh.  Throwing him a glance, “Bringing you along, can I escape?”

Xiao Huang‘s face suddenly wrinkled up like a steamed bun.  Remaining silent for a long while, he hung his head and thought.  Eventually he scooted over again and whispered in a low voice, “Didn’t the regent give you an army seal to keep?  To preserve our lives is the most important.  Don’t tell me you want to keep it and give it to Feng Zhao Wen?”

Shocked, I sized him up….was this still the same foolish Xiao Huang?

His eyes flashed for a bit and he again courageously turned his head to look at me straight on.  “Xiao Yi, I have followed you for three years, and  never once have I seen that army seal.  No matter what, you and I have always been tied up by the same rope.  Why not take out that army seal and help me accomplish big things……in the future you will be considered an outstanding  founding minister.”

Actually, what business of mine is this outstanding founding minister rubbish?

My father said he saw my inept-at-literature, incompetent-at-martial-arts, useless appearance, and could only hope that I would live a life of ease and comfort in the chaotic times.  As for great accomplishments or bringing honor to the family….in those days, he didn’t even know where my paternal grandfather was buried, so I could just completely forget about that part.

Besides worrying about having enough food and warm clothes for myself, I only worry for this child in front of me.  I hinted for him to come closer with my eyes, then stuck my forehead onto his forehead. “Sure enough, staying in the prison cell for too long can easily muddle a person.  Oh Xiao Huang, who taught you these lines?”

His forehead was a little cold.  Sticking to it, I felt half my heart chill….if I had known earlier that he followed me and suffered for an army seal that I’ve never even heard about before, I shouldn’t have put so much effort into doing field labor so that I could raise him.  I should have just let him starve until he was half dead……

His eyes, clear like water, held a reflection of me with hair as tangled as sogon gra.s.s and a withered complexion.  I smirked and immediately, that lowly person within his eyes became ugly enough to scare a small child into crying.

“Xiao Yi, you don’t need to be stubborn!  To keep going like this, we will definitely have no chances of survival.  If you don’t take it out now, don’t tell me you are going to wait until later, when we’re being decapitated to take it out?”

“Hehehehe……”  I don’t know why  I found it so difficult to stop laughing.  “You, this foolish child!  At that time, after my father pa.s.sed, you should have asked me right away.  If it had been on me, I would have certainly given it to you.  It’s not even an object I can’t live without.  It must have been so exhausting for you these three years,  following me and suffering!”

He blankly stared at me, the expression on his face a little hesitant.  Then the sound of his voice turned cold, “You’d truly rather die than be willing to take out the army seal?”

I looked at him, vexed.  How can I make him believe me?

I hadn’t yet thought of an answer when the sound of horse hooves entered my ear.  In the blink of an eye, more than ten black-clothed people mounted on horses and grasping swords rushed over.  The expression on Xiao Huang‘s face relaxed.  According to my speculations, this group of people should be the great Chen emperor protection faction.  I had originally thought that they had been wiped out by Feng Zhao Wen since early on.   As it turns out, they had actually been protecting Xiao Huang in secret.

These few black-clothed people’s skills weren’t feeble.  Very quickly, they were engaged in combat with the escort soldiers in one spot.  Among them, a black-clothed person with an extremely tall and st.u.r.dy figure roared “Save his majesty! Quickly, save his majesty!”

I cheerfully cupped my fist towards Xiao Huang, “Xiao Huang, you and I shall part ways today.  From now on, this servant will not have to worry about your majesty’s food and clothes.  At last, I am relieved of a heavy burden!  Your majesty, please continue taking good care of yourself!”

He had been watching the battle with a somewhat nervous appearance.  Hearing what I said, stunned, “Xiao Yi, don’t tell me you’re not leaving with me?”

I smilingly shook my head, raising it to look at the high skies and broad clouds.  My expression couldn’t help but be sorrowful.  “That path that you have picked is too exhausting.  I just want to be well-clothed and fed, happy and comfortable, living out the rest of my life in a place of springs and trees.  Alas it is just a dream in the end.  It’s fine though.  Even though I won’t go to a place of springs and trees,  I can still go down to the Yellow Springs.  Anyhow, it’s still a place where I can avoid work.”

All around the prisoner’s cart, two group of men and horses were fighting intoxicatedly.  He silently stared at me, probably very disappointed, and was about to say something when suddenly, a broadsword that was as bright as snow chopped off the prisoner’s cart’s iron chains with a bang.  A few more chops, wood shavings swirled into the air, and the fences on one side of the prisoner’s cart was chopped down.  With a few strokes, the manacles and wooden cangue on my and Xiao Huang’s body all broke off.  Indeed, what a good blade!

Xiao Huang maneuvered his legs and feet, jumping off the cart.  He extended his hand towards me.  That black-clothed person, my dear friend, also very cordially said, “Isn’t this little General An?”

I shook my head and then nodded it.  This form of address, it really hasn’t been used for a long time!

They were both puzzled.  I grinned and urged them “You’re right.  I’m An Yi.  But I won’t go with you. You should quickly flee.  Please take care of yourselves!”

That black-clothed person became distracted.  “Isn’t the army seal in little General An‘s hands…..”  But he was suddenly pulled out by Xiao Huang.  At this moment, the soldiers who guarded the prisoner’s cart snuck an attack.  Xiao Huang and I were at once separated far apart by these two group of men and horses.

I steadily watched that foolish child, who I raised with my own hands for three years, spur his horse and disappear with the black-clothed person, not even once turning his head back. This feeling was hard to describe. I understood somewhat, a bit of how parents  marrying off their daughter must feel.  Not happy, but instead sad.  Except parents marrying off their daughter must feel like ripping bones and gouging flesh.  I’m just temporarily depressed, that’s all.

Because I lacked restraints, laying down in the prisoner’s cart, my sleep was very smooth and sweet.  In a haze, I heard Yan Ping‘s gentle voice commanding the soldiers to clean up the battlefield and to give the black-clothed people who have not yet breathed their last a helping stab.  All this, I just treated as a lullaby and fell deeply into sleep.

Sleeping soundly, I was pushed bit by bit.  Probably out of habit, I thoughtlessly said, “Xiao Huang, if you’re hungry, go grab a maize pancake from the pot to eat. Let me sleep more.  So tired…..”

“That fool has already left……”

Suddenly opening my eyes, in front of me was Yan Ping’s eyes, gentle to the point of being unbelievable. I’m not an ignorant young lady however, and know that this person, whether towards an enemy or a benefactor, would use this kind of face.  So for a long time now, I haven’t had any delusions, and my heart remained constant in my chest cavity.

I roughly rubbed my hair.  With that black-clothed person, my dear friend’s a.s.sistance, I didn’t have a wooden cangue, manacles, or leg-irons.  Truly so comfortable.

“This can be blamed on habit?”

He quietly watched me.  After a long while he said, “An Yi, aren’t you angry at all?”

“What anger?”

He, with a resentful expression that showed I had failed to meet his expectations, “That Qin Huilived in seclusion next to you for a period of three years, all for an army seal.  But you lived like an animal to raise him. Don’t you feel unbearably fortunate?”

If he didn’t remind me, I would have almost forgotten.  Great Qi‘s child emperor, his majesty, is named Qin Hui. 

I gave a “che” of laughter, lazily turning my body over.  “A child emperor of brocade garments and jade meals like him had to suffer next to me, hungry for three years, eating husks and swallowing vegetables, and in the end, still didn’t find the army seal.  I think that the fortunate person should be him right?”

Thinking for a bit, I again said, “That year, when I was saving that fool, I didn’t once think of being repaid by him. Now, it’s merely finding out that that fool was never actually foolish, so there’s a bit of sorrow, but that’s it.  Why live in aggravation?”

His complexion at once became unsightly.  He gave a cold humph and turned his head to leave.

He wasn’t this kind of person before.