I don't know any greatest treat As sit him in a gay parterre, With Madame who is too more sweet Than every roses buttoning there."

Pidgin English is the name given to the dialect extensively used in the seaport towns of China as a means of communication between the natives and English and Americans, and is a very rude jargon in which English words are very strangely distorted. It is very limited, the Chinese learning Pidgin with only the acquirement of a few hundred words, the pronunciation and grammar of which have been modified to suit those of their own language. The word Pidgin itself is derived through a series of changes in the word _Business_. Early traders made constant use of this word, and the Chinaman contracted it first to _Busin_, and then through the change to _Pishin_ it at length assumed the form of _Pidgin_, still retaining its original meaning. This at once shows the difficulty which a Chinaman has in mastering the pronunciation of English words, and as business or commerce is the great bond of union between the Chinese and the foreign residents, it is not to be wondered at that this word should give name to the jargon formed in its service. The Chinese have great difficulty in using the letter _r_, pronouncing it almost always like _l_, as _loom_ for _room_, _cly_ for _cry_; and for the sake of euphony often add _ee_ or _lo_ to the end of words. _Galaw_ or _galow_ is a word of no meaning, being used as a kind of interjection; _chop, chop_, means quick, quick; _maskee_, don't mind; _chop b'long_, of a kind; _topside galow_, excelsior, or "hurrah for topside"; _chin chin_, good-bye; _welly culio_, very curious; _Joss-pidgin-man_, priest. With these few hints the reader may understand better the following version of "Excelsior," which originally appeared in _Harpers' Magazine_ in 1869,--the moral, however, belongs solely to the Chinese translator:

TOPSIDE-GALOW.

"That nightee teem he come chop chop One young man walkee, no can stop; Colo maskee, icee maskee; He got flag; chop b'long we_ll_y cu_l_io, see-- Topside-galow!

He too muchee so_ll_y; one piecee eye Looksee sharp--so fashion--alla same my: He talkee largee, talkee st_l_ong, Too muchee cu_l_io; alla same gong-- Topside-galow!

Inside any housee he can see light, Any piecee _l_oom got fire all _l_ight; He looksee plenty ice more high, Inside he mouf he plenty c_l_y-- Topside-galow!

'No can walkee!' olo man speakee he; 'Bimeby _l_ain come, no can see; Hab got water we_ll_y wide!'

Maskee, my must go topside-- Topside-galow!

'Man-man,' one galo talkee he; 'What for you go topside look-see?'

'Nother teem,' he makee plenty c_l_y, Maskee, alla teem walkee plenty high-- Topside-galow!

'Take care that spilum t_l_ee, young man, Take care that icee!' he no man-man, That coolie chin-chin he 'Good-night;'

He talkee, 'My can go all _l_ight'-- Topside-galow!

Joss-pidgin-man chop chop begin, Morning teem that Joss chin-chin, No see any man, he plenty fear, Cause some man talkee, he can hear-- Topside-galow!

Young man makee die; one largee dog see Too muchee bobbe_l_y, findee hee.

Hand too muchee colo, inside can stop Alla same piecee flag, got cu_l_io chop-- Topside-galow!

MORAL.

You too muchee laugh! What for sing?

I think so you no savey t'hat ting!

Supposey you no b'long clever inside, More betta _you_ go walk topside!

Topside-galow!"

In connection with these linguistic curiosities we take the following from an old number of _Harpers' Magazine_: "A practical parent objects to the silliness of our nursery rhymes, for the reason that the doggerel is rendered pernicious by the absence of a practical moral purpose, and as introducing infants to the realities of life through an utterly erroneous medium. They are taught to believe in a world peopled by Little Bo-peeps and Goosey, Goosey Ganders, instead of a world of New York Central, Erie, North-Western Preferred, &c. &c. It is proposed, therefore, to accommodate the teaching of the nursery to the requirements of the age, to invest children's rhymes with a moral purpose. Instead, for example, of the blind wonderment as to the nature of astronomical bodies inculcated in that feeble poem commencing 'Twinkle, twinkle, little star,' let the child be indoctrinated into the recent investigations of science, thus:

'Wrinkles, wrinkles, solar star, I obtain of what you are, When unto the noonday sky I the spectroscope apply; For the spectrum renders clear Gaps within your photosphere, Also sodium in the bar Which your rays yield, solar star.'

"Then, again, there is the gastronomic career of Little Jack Homer, which inculcates gluttony. It is practicable that this fictitious hero should familiarise the child with the principles of the _Delectus_:

'Studious John Homer, Of Latin no scorner, In the second declension did spy How nouns there are some Which ending in _um_ Do _not_ make their plural in _i_.'

"The episode of Jack and Jill is valueless as an educational medium. But it might be made to illustrate the arguments of a certain school of political economists:

'Jack and Jill Have studied Mill, And all that sage has taught, too.

Now both promote Jill's claim to vote, As every good girl ought too.'

"Even the pleasures of life have their duties, and the child needs to be instructed in the polite relaxation of society. The unmeaning jingle of 'Hey diddle diddle,' might be invested with some utility of a social kind:

'I did an idyl on Joachim's fiddle, At a classical soiree in June, While jolly dogs laughed at themes from Spohr, And longed for a popular tune.'

"And the importance of securing a good _parti_, of rejecting ineligible candidates, and of modifying flirtations by a strict regard to the future, might be impressed upon the female mind at an early age in the following moral:

'Little Miss Muffit Sat at a buffet Eating a _bonbon sucre_; A younger son spied her, And edged up beside her, But she properly frowned him away.'"

The preceding is all very well, but there are others which have been travestied and changed also--"Mary's little Lamb," for instance, will never be allowed to rest in its true Saxon garb, but is being constantly dressed in every tongue and dialect. But recently one has arisen bold enough to doubt the story altogether, and throw discredit on the song. Mr.

Baring Gould, and iconoclasts like him, strive to show that William Tell and other ancient heroes never did live, but we never expected to doubt the existence of "Mary's little Lamb," yet a correspondent to a magazine sent not long ago what he says is the "true story of Mary and her lamb,"

hoping it will take the place of the garbled version hitherto received as authentic:

"Mary had a little lamb, Whose fleece was white as snow, And every place that Mary went, The lamb it would _not_ go.

So Mary took that little lamb, And beat it for a spell; The family had it fried next day, And it went very well."

We have still another way of it, in what may be termed an exaggerated synonymic adherence to the central idea of the ballad:

"Mary possessed a diminutive sheep, Whose external covering was as devoid of colour as the aqueous fluid which sometimes presents unsurmountable barriers on the Sierras.

And everywhere Mary peregrinated This juvenile Southdown would be sure to get up and go right after her.

It followed her to the alphabet dispensary one day, Which was contrary to the 243d subdivision of the 714th article of the constitution of that academy of erudition; It caused the adolescent disciples there assembled to titillate their risibles and indulge in interludes of sportive hilarity," &c. &c.

Linguistic renderings of many of these ancient songs may be found in the works of the Rev. Francis Mahoney (Father Prout), Dr. Maginn, &c., as well as in the "Arundines Cami" of the Rev. H. Drury. Of these here follow a few:

LITTLE BO-PEEP.

"Petit Bo-peep A perdu ses moutons Et ne sait pas que les a pris, O laisses les tranquilles Ill viendront en ville Et chacun sa que apres lui."

BA, BA, BLACK SHEEP.

"Ba, ba, mouton noir, Avez vous de laine?

Oui Monsieur, non Monsieur, Trois sacs pleine.

Un pour mon maitre, un pour ma dame, Pas un pour le jeune enfant que pleure dan le chemin."

Here is a song of Mahoney's, which is given complete:

"Quam pulchra sunt ova Cum alba et nova, In stabulo scite leguntur; Et a Margery bella, Quae festiva puella!

Pinguis lardi cum frustris coquuntur.

Ut belles in prato, Aprico et lato Sub sole tam lacte renident; Ova tosta in mensa Mappa bene extensa, Nittidissima lanse consident."

Which, put into English, is:

"Oh! 'tis eggs are a treat, When so white and so sweet From under the manger they're taken; And by fair Margery (Och! 'tis she's full of glee!) They are fried with fat rashers of bacon.

Just like daisies all spread, O'er a broad sunny mead, In the sunbeams so gaudily shining, Are fried eggs, when displayed On a dish, when we've laid The cloth, and are thinking of dining!"

The last of these we give is from the "Arundines Cami":

TWINKLE, TWINKLE, LITTLE STAR.

"Mica, mica, parva Stella, Miror, quaenam sis tam bella!

Splendens eminus in illo Alba velut gemma, coelo."