The president mentions the sage advice of Mr. Chauncey Gardiner at a televised speech at the Financial Institute, whereupon Chance is hurried onto a talk show. His dopey remarks, delivered with a sort of puckish grin, begin as standard, late-night, getting-to-know-you comedy banter. Chance clearly knows the drill, having spent his life watching television. Ashby cuts to Ben and Eve Rand watching proudly from Ben's bed and the president and first lady watching nervously from the White House. Things turn more sober on television when Chance opines that "it is possible for, uh, everything to grow stronger. And there is plenty of room for new trees and new flowers of all kinds." The audience applauds enthusiastically. clearly knows the drill, having spent his life watching television. Ashby cuts to Ben and Eve Rand watching proudly from Ben's bed and the president and first lady watching nervously from the White House. Things turn more sober on television when Chance opines that "it is possible for, uh, everything to grow stronger. And there is plenty of room for new trees and new flowers of all kinds." The audience applauds enthusiastically.

"It's for sure a white man's world in America," Louise snaps, watching him from the lobby of her apartment building.

As the president, the CIA, the FBI, and countless newspaper reporters attempt to find any information whatsoever on the nonexistent Chauncey Gardiner, Chance lies in his lavish bed eating breakfast from a tray and watching the happy, happy opening number of Mister Rogers' Neighborhood Mister Rogers' Neighborhood. With Fred Rogers singing a song about his special friend, Eve arrives and climbs into bed with Chance. He continues to watch Mister Rogers as Mister Rogers sings the spelling of the word friend friend, whereupon Eve misinterprets Chance's babylike indifference to sex by attributing it to gallantry. "A long time ago, people didn't have television," Mister Rogers tells his little viewers. "But they still liked to look at interesting pictures." Eve departs.

Fortunately for Eve, Chance happens to be viewing a steamy romantic scene on TV when she returns to his room late at night. He grabs her and begins kissing her passionately in direct imitation of the images he is watching at the time. When the onscreen kissing stops, so does Chance.

EVE: Chauncey! What's wrong? What's the matter, Chauncey? I don't know what you like! Chauncey! What's wrong? What's the matter, Chauncey? I don't know what you like!

CHANCE: I like to watch, Eve. I like to watch, Eve.

And so she performs for him on a bearskin rug. Switching channels to a yoga program, he does a handstand on the bed while Eve moans and comes to her own relaxed and delighted laughter.

Throughout Being There Being There, but here in particular, Shirley MacLaine's performance is as exceptional as Peter's. A scene that could have turned farcical, grotesque, or pathetic-the vivacious wife of a decrepit old man masturbating before a brainless cipher-becomes instead distinguished, compassionate. MacLaine invests Eve with a mix of sophistication and innocence, delicacy and fresh sexual passion. Though it might seem to have been Peter's due to play opposite great actresses throughout his career, the fact was that he rarely did; Peter was lucky to have one more chance to act alongside a bona-fide star. fact was that he rarely did; Peter was lucky to have one more chance to act alongside a bona-fide star.

The film ends with Ben Rand's burial. The president delivers a platitudinous eulogy (the selected quotations of Ben) as Chance wanders into the seemingly unending forest of the Rand estate. As Ashby himself described Being There Being There's original ending, "Shirley MacLaine goes after Peter Sellers when he leaves the funeral and goes into the woods. She finds him and she says she was frightened and was looking for him. He says, 'I was looking for you, too, Eve.' And they just walk off together." Ashby had already filmed that scene when a friend of his, the screenwriter Rudy Wurlitzer, asked him how the Being There Being There shoot was progressing. "It's wonderful," Ashby replied. "Peter Sellers and Melvyn Douglas are achieving such clarity, such simplicity, it looks like they're walking on water." It was a moment of inspiration. shoot was progressing. "It's wonderful," Ashby replied. "Peter Sellers and Melvyn Douglas are achieving such clarity, such simplicity, it looks like they're walking on water." It was a moment of inspiration.

Ashby shot a new ending.

Chance wanders through the snowy woods while the president continues with his platitudes and Ben's pallbearers whisperingly agree to nominate Chance for the presidency. On the edge of a lake, Chance straightens a sapling that has been weighed down by an old, broken branch. He moves toward the shoreline and walks into-rather, on top of-the lake. He pokes his umbrella gently in, plunges it down, looks up and around in characteristic incomprehension, and continues strolling on the surface of the cold winter water. What choice did Peter Sellers have, let alone Chauncey Gardiner?

TWENTY-THREE.

Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise.

On April 18, 1979, the last day of shooting Being There Being There, MacLaine and Sellers were filming the scene set in the backseat of Eve Rand's limousine. "Peter had been to a numerologist the night before," Shirley reports. "Looking into my eyes, he told me that the numerologist had warned him that his wife's numbers didn't match his own numbers. Peter was clearly most concerned about this information."

He was worried about his mind as well as his heart; the actual, blood-pumping muscle was giving him as much cause for concern as his love life. He found himself musing over the possible effects of his two minutes of clinical death in 1964. "I think I'm probably going a little soft in the head," he told Time Time magazine a little later, "which is why I have something in common with Chance." magazine a little later, "which is why I have something in common with Chance."

Peter's renewed obsession with Sophia Loren did not help his deteriorating marriage with Lynne. Thoughts of Sophia had resurfaced because Sophia had just published her memoirs, and the name "Peter Sellers" had not appeared therein. Peter was shocked and hurt. "Our relationship was one of the things that helped break up my first marriage!" he complained to the columnist Roderick Mann. Referring to Sophia with icy formality, Peter continued: "Miss Loren was always telephoning me, and I'd go rushing all over Italy to be with her. It's odd that someone who apparently meant so much in her life-or so she said-should not figure in her life story. The only reason I can think is that she was married at the time. But it's not as if her husband didn't know. Carlo knew very well." story. The only reason I can think is that she was married at the time. But it's not as if her husband didn't know. Carlo knew very well."

Peter's remarks became a scandal, one which did not please Sophia, who was swiftly pestered to respond to Peter's public despair. "I could not write about every partner I have had in the movies," she told one reporter. "It would have taken volumes. I only wrote about the most important events of my life. Peter lived in Los Angeles and it was too far to go to see him from Italy." At this point Sophia became angry: "I will not answer any more questions about Peter Sellers! I wrote the book to tell the truth about my life, not for gossip columnists!"

"I know the men I've slept with," Sophia told Shirley MacLaine privately. "And Peter, bless his phantasmagorical mind, was not one of them."

MacLaine was soon surprised to find herself in the same phantasmagorical boat. During the production of Being There Being There, she later wrote, "He did tell me in detail of his love affairs with Sophia Loren and Liza Minnelli. I wondered about his lack of discretion but sometimes found his reenactments very funny." Then she discovered, after filming had concluded, that Peter was describing to others the details of his torrid affair with Shirley MacLaine. In fact, one Hollywood producer reported that he had been in the same room with Peter when Peter was "whispering sweet nothings" to MacLaine on the telephone. "Then he was whispering to a dial tone," is MacLaine's response.

His fourth marriage's denouement seemed inevitable to the point of redundancy. Just before Being There Being There began shooting, Peter was asked about Lynne. "I'm so lucky," he answered. "She's a beautiful girl in every sense. I just wish I'd met her long ago. It's been a long, bumpy road to find her, but God at last has smiled on me.... Lynne is exactly the kind of girl whom Peg would have wanted for me. She [Peg] is always around, always giving me help and advice.... She loves Lynne and wants us to be happy together." began shooting, Peter was asked about Lynne. "I'm so lucky," he answered. "She's a beautiful girl in every sense. I just wish I'd met her long ago. It's been a long, bumpy road to find her, but God at last has smiled on me.... Lynne is exactly the kind of girl whom Peg would have wanted for me. She [Peg] is always around, always giving me help and advice.... She loves Lynne and wants us to be happy together."

Lynne's own mother, Iris, still hadn't spoken to her daughter since the marriage, though she did continue speaking to the press. "What mother can be expected to approve of the marriage of her daughter to such a man?" Mrs. Frederick declared to the Los Angeles Times Los Angeles Times in late January. "Their marriage was doomed from the start." in late January. "Their marriage was doomed from the start."

Iris was right.

Lynne saw a shrink. The doctor's diagnosis was one to which Peter failed to cotton. "A psychiatrist she went to was crazy enough to suggest that because I loved my mother I was still looking for another mother figure!" he declared in exasperation. "When my mother was alive," he explained, "she did everything she could in her life to help me. She was content and always there, both for my father and me. I said to Lynne one day that because of her kindness, she reminded me of my mother.... Sometime later she went to a psychiatrist in Hollywood. Those shrinks are awful! What he told Lynne was that the trouble between us-the strain which I hadn't noticed-was caused by my looking for another mother figure. And it was that incestuous feeling that prevented us from having children. Now that is mad, isn't it? Quite mad!"

Peter wanted a divorce. Typically, he told a reporter about it first. "That was what hurt," Lynne said, "reading in a newspaper that our marriage was finished. It's true we had discussed divorce, but no decision had been reached when he left. We've both consulted lawyers, but nothing's happened yet."

It seems that in the third week of April, just after Being There Being There wrapped, Peter left Los Angeles for Barbados, alone and in a rage, because Lynne had refused to accompany him on the vacation. He stayed in Barbados a single day and then flew to London. "From there he telephoned me to announce that his marriage was over," Roderick Mann wrote in the wrapped, Peter left Los Angeles for Barbados, alone and in a rage, because Lynne had refused to accompany him on the vacation. He stayed in Barbados a single day and then flew to London. "From there he telephoned me to announce that his marriage was over," Roderick Mann wrote in the Sunday Express Sunday Express on April 28. "A few days later he made the same statement to London newspapermen." on April 28. "A few days later he made the same statement to London newspapermen."

The whole thing continued to be played out in newspapers and, in a secondary sense, in daily telephone calls between the two aggrieved parties, who clung to each other long distance. In early May, Peter was in his room at the Inn on the Park in London and sleeping in until 4 P P.M. He was "haggard and bleary-eyed" when he answered the door, found a reporter, tried to slam the door in the reporter's face, and ended up slamming it on his own foot.

"I don't mind being alone," he told still another scribe. Yet in mid-May, he mentioned to a third journalist that he'd asked Lynne to fly to London for what he called a "love summit"; he himself having left London briefly to make an appearance at the Cannes Film Festival. "For tax reasons I cannot work in London," he said to a fourth reporter, "but I can certainly go there to save my marriage." To a fifth he added that "up till now all the discussions regarding our future life together have been on the telephone." till now all the discussions regarding our future life together have been on the telephone."

"Really," he said, "I am a romantic, so I can't rule out getting married again. But this time it will be to an older woman-someone who is thirty-one or thirty-two."

One of Lynne's friends told the Daily Mail Daily Mail that "she doesn't appear upset about anything." that "she doesn't appear upset about anything."

In May, Peter announced that he was starting work on a new record album. Sellers Market Sellers Market, which was recorded in France in June. It was originally going to feature a conversation between Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher and I'm All Right, Jack I'm All Right, Jack's Fred Kite; it would have been a classic, but the final selection includes no such cut. Instead, Sellers Market Sellers Market includes among its highlights an unusual rendition of Cole Porter's "Night and Day"-it's done in Morse code-and an equally warped version of Freed and Brown's "Singin' in the Rain" done as a military march. includes among its highlights an unusual rendition of Cole Porter's "Night and Day"-it's done in Morse code-and an equally warped version of Freed and Brown's "Singin' in the Rain" done as a military march.

The best track, though, is "The Cultural Scene: The Compleat Guide to Accents of the British Isles," in which an American professor, Don Schulman (Sellers) tours the United Kingdom and finds a wide variety of rhythms and inflections, all done by Sellers: London (Cockney), Surrey (Russian), Birmingham (Indian), Wales (lilting singsong), Edinburgh (kilty), and Glasgow (virtually incomprehensible and belligerently drunk).

He kept himself occupied in other ways, too. He had several new film projects in mind: The Romance of the Pink Panther The Romance of the Pink Panther, to be directed by Sidney Poitier; Chandu the Magician Chandu the Magician for Orion; for Orion; The Fiendish Plot of Dr. Fu Manchu The Fiendish Plot of Dr. Fu Manchu, also for Orion; and a remake of Preston Sturges's classic 1948 screwball comedy Unfaithfully Yours Unfaithfully Yours for Twentieth Century-Fox. He even talked about making a science-fiction film with Satyajit Ray. for Twentieth Century-Fox. He even talked about making a science-fiction film with Satyajit Ray.

The Romance of the Pink Panther would be different than the other would be different than the other Panther Panthers, Peter told the Hollywood columnist Marilyn Beck. Clouseau will "expose a side of himself no one has seen. He's going to be involved with a woman who's deeply in love with him, and we'll see his reaction to that." There was still no word on who would play the woman, Anastasia Puissance. In fact, the script was not yet completed at the time. According to Peter, production wouldn't begin until August 1980, at the earliest. Reportedly, Peter would be getting $3 million up front for the film-half of which, he claimed, had already been paid. He would also get 10 percent of the gross. Estimating from the financial success of the last Estimating from the financial success of the last Panther Panther, The Romance of the Pink Panther The Romance of the Pink Panther alone might earn him $8 million. alone might earn him $8 million.

That Sidney Poitier rather than Blake Edwards was set to direct The Romance of the Pink Panther The Romance of the Pink Panther seems not to have been the result of animosity between Peter and Blake. He'd filmed a cameo for Edwards's latest picture, seems not to have been the result of animosity between Peter and Blake. He'd filmed a cameo for Edwards's latest picture, 10 10 (1979), which starred Dudley Moore, Julie Andrews, and Bo Derek. Peter played drums in a jazz band, but the scene was cut before the film's release. (1979), which starred Dudley Moore, Julie Andrews, and Bo Derek. Peter played drums in a jazz band, but the scene was cut before the film's release.

In the beginning of August, Rolling Stone Rolling Stone's Mitchell Glazer conducted his interview with Peter in Gstaad. He found the words "Om Shanti" inscribed over the front door of Peter's chalet and an autographed photo of Stan Laurel hanging on the wall. "It's nice to walk around here and get stoned," Peter told Glazer for publication. "This place is so beautiful even I I can relax." can relax."

In December 1979, when the latest issue of Britain's Club International Club International magazine hit the stands, readers and gossip columnists were delighted to find what the magazine billed as "exclusive" nude photos of Britt Ekland and Lynne Frederick. Britt's were full-frontal, Lynne's simply bare-breasted. "It's gossiped that Sellers himself snapped the pics, but not for publication," the magazine hit the stands, readers and gossip columnists were delighted to find what the magazine billed as "exclusive" nude photos of Britt Ekland and Lynne Frederick. Britt's were full-frontal, Lynne's simply bare-breasted. "It's gossiped that Sellers himself snapped the pics, but not for publication," the Hollywood Reporter Hollywood Reporter noted. noted.

In January 1980, Being There Being There was screened for President Jimmy Carter and the first lady, Rosalynn, at the White House. President Carter particularly enjoyed the exchange between Chance and the president-the one during which the president thinks he is getting political advice but in fact is receiving the basic facts of plant life. "That's better advice than I get," said President Carter. was screened for President Jimmy Carter and the first lady, Rosalynn, at the White House. President Carter particularly enjoyed the exchange between Chance and the president-the one during which the president thinks he is getting political advice but in fact is receiving the basic facts of plant life. "That's better advice than I get," said President Carter.

Before embarking on The Romance of the Pink Panther The Romance of the Pink Panther, Unfaithfully Yours Unfaithfully Yours, Chandu the Magician Chandu the Magician, or the unlikely space alien picture for Satyajit Ray, Peter made The Fiendish Plot of Dr. Fu Manchu The Fiendish Plot of Dr. Fu Manchu (1980) with Helen Mirren and Sid Caesar. (1980) with Helen Mirren and Sid Caesar.

Roman Polanski had once been mentioned as a director for the film, but nothing came of it. John G. Avildson spent a week with Peter discussing the possibility of his directing it, after which Orion paid Avildson $100,000 to walk away. Richard Quine was approached; he too dropped out after arguing with Peter about the direction the film should take. Piers Haggard was finally hired. Haggard had directed such films as The Blood on Satan's Claw The Blood on Satan's Claw (1970). (1970).

Filming began at the Studios de Boulogne in Paris at the end of September.

Fu Manchu, the eponymous fiend, had long held a special appeal for Peter: "I listened fanatically to the Fu Manchu radio serials on the BBC. They were more terrifying than the BBC's light musical programs." Now, in performing the role himself, Peter strove to avoid what he called "the stilted stereotype of swapping r rs for l ls. It's demeaning, it's been done to death, and it's not funny." (In other words, it had had been funny in been funny in Murder By Death Murder By Death, but now he was bored with it.) Instead, Peter provided Fu Manchu with the backstory of an English prep-school education-in Peter's words, "where he learned the meaning of torture, like any proper British schoolboy"-and then claimed to have based Fu Manchu's British accent on Lord Snowdon. Peter swore that he'd asked Snowdon for his permission, which Snowdon is said to have swiftly granted, but in point of fact the fiend's voice sounds a good bit too Chinese for the tale to be true.

Peter also claimed that he was focusing on Fu Manchu's astounding sex appeal. "After all," Peter explained, "if you've devoted 150 years to depravity, you're bound to get good at it."

His makeup: a spray-applied rubber that hardened into crow's feet and wrinkles; twelve molded sponge devices to create Asiatic features; tinted contact lenses; a beard; and long black plastic fingernails. It was all painful. "The bloody lenses made my eyes run, my skin itched from the spirit gum on the beard, and the fingernails were a bore. I kept poking myself in odd places. I don't know how women manage with them," Peter remarked.

In early November, the production moved to St. Gervais, the Alpine resort, for some location work, after which The Fiendish Plot of Dr. Fu Manchu The Fiendish Plot of Dr. Fu Manchu moved back to the Studios de Boulogne. Just before Christmas, Peter flew to Gstaad for some rest, promising to return after the holidays. He did return, whereupon he promptly fired Piers Haggard, whom, like several other directors over the years, he had grown to hate for reasons of his own. Peter took over the filming himself. moved back to the Studios de Boulogne. Just before Christmas, Peter flew to Gstaad for some rest, promising to return after the holidays. He did return, whereupon he promptly fired Piers Haggard, whom, like several other directors over the years, he had grown to hate for reasons of his own. Peter took over the filming himself.

In January, Peter summoned David Lodge to Paris, where Lodge found Lynne to have become "very hard-not the same person" he had met earlier. In some sense they were back together, but since their relationship had always included long separations followed by intense reunions, their current togetherness was simply par for the course.

According to Lodge, Peter retained the contractual right to reshoot anything he wanted, and he could reshoot any given scene as often as often as he wanted. So to Lodge's amazement, Peter reshot Lodge's scene entirely in close-ups. (A scene shot entirely in close-ups would produce a rather avant-garde effect.) Lodge tried to just sit there and let Peter film him, but, from Peter's perspective, Lodge just couldn't seem to get it right. "Your eyebrows are popping up and down like a fiddler's elbow!" Peter told him before insisting that they retake the scene yet again. as he wanted. So to Lodge's amazement, Peter reshot Lodge's scene entirely in close-ups. (A scene shot entirely in close-ups would produce a rather avant-garde effect.) Lodge tried to just sit there and let Peter film him, but, from Peter's perspective, Lodge just couldn't seem to get it right. "Your eyebrows are popping up and down like a fiddler's elbow!" Peter told him before insisting that they retake the scene yet again.

"Do what Gene Hackman does," Peter advised his oldest continuous friend. "Fuck all." (By this Peter meant something on the order of "don't do anything-just sit there.") Lodge concludes his tale by noting that despite Peter's right to reshoot anything he pleased, Orion was under no obligation to use use any of it, so Lodge's scene ended up on the cutting room floor. any of it, so Lodge's scene ended up on the cutting room floor.

The Fiendish Plot of Dr. Fu Manchu has two remarkable performances, both by Peter, some beautiful set designs by Alexandre Trauner (who designed has two remarkable performances, both by Peter, some beautiful set designs by Alexandre Trauner (who designed The Apartment The Apartment, 1960, for Billy Wilder, among other films), no script, and few laughs. The film opens with Fu's minions singing "Happy Birthday to Fu" on the occasion of his 168th birthday. He prepares ritualistically to drink the elixir vitae elixir vitae that keeps him alive, but a servant drops the bottle. ("You look familiar," Fu remarks to the servant, played by Burt Kwouk.) Fu spends the rest of the film assembling the exotic ingredients, all the while pursued by a retired Scotland Yard inspector, Nayland Smith (Peter), and alternatively thwarted and aided by Inspector Alice Rage (Helen Mirren). that keeps him alive, but a servant drops the bottle. ("You look familiar," Fu remarks to the servant, played by Burt Kwouk.) Fu spends the rest of the film assembling the exotic ingredients, all the while pursued by a retired Scotland Yard inspector, Nayland Smith (Peter), and alternatively thwarted and aided by Inspector Alice Rage (Helen Mirren).

Michael Caine had once been mentioned as a possible Nayland Smith, but Peter took the role himself, and his Nayland Smith couldn't be more opposed to anything Caine could have produced. Peter's Nayland is a peculiarly flat-voiced old man-Henry Crun with no affect, having had it tortured out of him by previous encounters with Fu Manchu. In fact, there is something oddly cerebral about both of Sellers's performances in this lackluster film. Because of the film's basic storyline, it isn't a stretch to say that both Fu Manchu and Nayland Smith spend much of the time meditating on their own mortality. The result is weirdly affecting-a badly written, practically undirected comedy played as warped eulogy. lackluster film. Because of the film's basic storyline, it isn't a stretch to say that both Fu Manchu and Nayland Smith spend much of the time meditating on their own mortality. The result is weirdly affecting-a badly written, practically undirected comedy played as warped eulogy.

"Peter was fucked up," his costar Helen Mirren acknowledges. "He could be very cruel, but he was also incredibly vulnerable, like a child." But like most other of the sensitive people with whom Peter Sellers worked, Mirren adds a crucial filip: "He was very, very nice to me. He did the sweetest thing-he laughed at my jokes. That's such a kind thing to do to anyone. Especially [for] a great comedian."

March 1980 saw the usual swelling tide of pre-Oscars jockeying, handicapping, and hype. Peter flew from Gstaad to London, and from London to New York, where, on March 12, he appeared on the Today Today show to promote show to promote Being There Being There, for which he was nominated for a Best Actor award. "I'm looking for a girl with a sick mind and a beautiful body," he told Gene Shalit, though he was, of course, still married.

He told Marilyn Beck that he had no plans to appear at the Oscars ceremony at the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion in Los Angeles on April 14. "I'll be busy in London editing The Fiendish Plot of Dr. Fu Manchu The Fiendish Plot of Dr. Fu Manchu. But even if I weren't, I wouldn't attend the Oscars. I never go to those do's, never go to anything. I'm very anti-social."

He was also by that point engaged in a public feud with Jerzy Kosinski, who for his part was running around informing everyone about Peter's face-lift. Peter, meanwhile, was claiming that Kosinski had not actually written the shooting script of Being There Being There; instead, Peter said, Being There Being There had really been significantly rewritten by Robert C. Jones, who had won an Oscar for had really been significantly rewritten by Robert C. Jones, who had won an Oscar for Coming Home Coming Home. This may seem to be an outlandish claim, given Kosinski's international stature, but in point of fact Hal Ashby, too, supported Jones when Jones took the matter to Writers Guild arbitration after Kosinski refused to share the credit. Unfortunately for Jones, Ashby, and Sellers, the Guild supported Kosinski and awarded him sole credit for the cowritten script.

Peter made the cover of Time Time on March 3. All six of him. on March 3. All six of him.

Backed by images of Chance, Quilty, Strangelove, Clouseau, and the Grand Duchess Gloriana XII, the face of a well-known, little-known actor looked inscrutably toward the camera. The headline was, "Who Is This Man?" Peter was actually pleased by the article, which was written by the critic Richard Schickel-so much so that he wrote an appreciative letter to the editor: "I would like to thank you very much for taking the trouble to probe accurately the deeper recesses of whatever the hell I am." Man?" Peter was actually pleased by the article, which was written by the critic Richard Schickel-so much so that he wrote an appreciative letter to the editor: "I would like to thank you very much for taking the trouble to probe accurately the deeper recesses of whatever the hell I am."

At the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion on the fourteenth, Jane Fonda strode across the stage, opened the envelope, and announced that Dustin Hoffman won the Best Actor award for Kramer vs. Kramer Kramer vs. Kramer (1979). By that point Peter had also lost the New York Film Critics Circle award to Hoffman, too. (That one wasn't even close. Hoffman got thirteen votes, Peter only three.) He had to settle for a Golden Globe and a Best Actor award from the National Board of Review, and he was bitterly disappointed. (1979). By that point Peter had also lost the New York Film Critics Circle award to Hoffman, too. (That one wasn't even close. Hoffman got thirteen votes, Peter only three.) He had to settle for a Golden Globe and a Best Actor award from the National Board of Review, and he was bitterly disappointed.

He didn't fare better in Europe. Nominated by BAFTA as Best Actor in 1981, Peter lost to John Hurt for The Elephant Man The Elephant Man (1980). (1980).

Peter was devastated not only by his failure to win an Oscar; he had been just as upset when he saw the release print of Being There Being There. Without Peter's approval, Ashby and Braunsberg decided to end the film not with Chance walking on the surface of the lake, but with the outtakes of Peter laughing hysterically, trying and failing to deliver the "now get this, honky" line. The outtakes do pull some easy laughs-it's hard not to break up when listening to anybody anybody suffering a laughing jag-but to Peter, the essence of his most austere and technically controlled performance was utterly ruined. He sent an angry telex to Ashby: suffering a laughing jag-but to Peter, the essence of his most austere and technically controlled performance was utterly ruined. He sent an angry telex to Ashby: "It breaks the spell, do you understand? Do you understand, it breaks the spell! Do you hear me, it breaks the spell! I'm telling you how it breaks the spell...."

"I've got an illegitimate daughter running around somewhere," he claimed in April 1980. He was speaking of the baby he believed he and the unnamed mystery woman had conceived while he was serving in the Royal Air Force-the one Peg had invited to dinner while Anne was recovering from her miscarriage. He had three children, whom he treated more or less poorly, if at all, but thoughts of his maybe, maybe-not lost daughter only intensified as his health deteriorated.

Of his three children, Michael Sellers enjoyed the least troubled relationship with his father. There had been periods of tension, but the two males seemed to get along well enough. Michael had his mother for emotional support; his father was there for infrequent fun.

Michael and Sarah were each the beneficiaries of a one-time gift of 20,000 when they turned twenty-one. It wasn't much, considering Peter's wealth, but, as usual, it was all he had to give them.

Peter had never quite gotten around to setting up a trust for his third child. Victoria Sellers had spent most of her life forced into playing the role of pawn in a nasty chess game; Peter was the black king, Britt the blond queen. With an unerring sense, the early-teenage Victoria once showed up for a visit clad entirely in purple. Peter threw a typical fit, but soon whisked her away on a shopping spree, both to make up for his rage and to ensure that she wouldn't wear the offending color in his presence. On another occasion, Peter canceled Victoria's planned visit to Port Grimaud at the last minute, thereby enraging Britt, thus provoking Peter to tell Sue Evans to write a letter to Victoria on his behalf and tell her, as Michael Sellers puts it, "that she should no longer regard him as her father."

That one blew over, slightly, but at the end of March 1980, the fifteen-year-old Victoria made the mistake of telling her father what she thought of his work: "He asked me if I'd seen his latest film, Being There Being There. I said yes, I thought it was great. But then I said, 'You looked like a little fat, old man.'

"I didn't mean to hurt him. I meant his character in the film looked like a little old man. But he went mad. He threw his drink over me and told me to get the next plane home."

Sarah Sellers usually knew enough to keep her distance. She tried to please her father, but for reasons she never understood, she kept on failing. "When I was a student and rather poor," she says, "I didn't know what to give him and Lynne for Christmas, so I got her some lace doilies and him an old print. I got a letter back from him saying, 'I know it's the thought that counts, but what a thought. Yours, Dad.' I was devastated. But then he turned up a few months later as if nothing had happened."

But when Sarah put her two cents in over Victoria and the drink-throwing episode, she received the following telegram: "Dear Sarah, After what happened this morning with Victoria, I shall be happy if I never hear from you again. I won't tell you what I think of you. It must be obvious. Goodbye, Your Father."

Entertainment writers' conventional wisdom, if one can call it that, holds that movie stars demean themselves by appearing in television commercials. It's considered far more honorable for stars to demean themselves on celluloid. But when Barclay's Bank offered Peter 1 million for a series of four commercials, he accepted, and rightly so. It was a great deal of money. He may not have needed it to survive, but he needed it nonetheless. After all, he certainly wasn't acting for his health. It's considered far more honorable for stars to demean themselves on celluloid. But when Barclay's Bank offered Peter 1 million for a series of four commercials, he accepted, and rightly so. It was a great deal of money. He may not have needed it to survive, but he needed it nonetheless. After all, he certainly wasn't acting for his health.

The commercials were shot in Dublin, with Joe McGrath directing. Peter's character is a con man called Monty Casino, who bilks the unsuspecting out of their quid, the suggestion being that Barclay's Bank offered protection against such shady scams. (The name plays not only on Monte Carlo's casinos but also Monte Cassino, where Spike Milligan nearly got blown up during World War II.) In the first, Monty swindles a young musician out of his money; in the second, he cons a stately manor's aristocratic owner. The third featured Monty gulling a student out of his rent money. The fourth was never filmed.

"He had a heart attack, and we couldn't finish," McGrath relates. "He started to get palpitations and said, 'My God.' I said, 'Is it your heart?' 'No,' he said, 'it's the Pacemaker-it's gone into top gear. Quick-give me that bag!' He took out this tiny leather case which had green and red things on it. I said what is it? He said, 'It's Gucci jump leads, you can start me up. What are friends for?'

"He said, 'We've got to get a specialist.' So, I phoned downstairs and said we needed a specialist for Mr. Sellers. They said, 'You can't get a specialist unless an MD comes and examines him.' So I said to Peter that an MD would come up and then we'd get him into a hospital. He was lying in bed. I had come in from my room and was still in a dressing gown, and I had dark glasses on, and there was a knock on the door. This guy was standing there, and he said, 'You look terrible, Mr. Sellers! You should get to bed!' Peter said, 'That's what I need-an Irish doctor.'

"I took him into intensive care. The last thing he said was, 'I'll see you in London.' He was in there for a couple of days, and then he was out. And, like the fool he was, he went to Cannes."

McGrath is getting ahead of the story.

Nurse Lynne flew into Dublin from Los Angeles and announced to the press that it was just a false alarm and not a heart attack at all. This time it wasn't oysters but a bicycle. Peter had had to ride a bike in one of the Barclay's commercials, she explained, and he'd simply overdone it. Her motive seems clearly to have been commercial in nature; she was trying to protect his insurability. motive seems clearly to have been commercial in nature; she was trying to protect his insurability.

Nevertheless, shortly after leaving the hospital and flying down to Cannes for the film festival, Peter endorsed an advertisement for the British Heart Association. The ad, printed in London newspapers, featured a photo of Peter; it was captioned "Heart Attack Survivor." Accompanying the pictures was a quote: "I'm lucky-I survived!"

Lynne accompanied Peter to Cannes, where Being There Being There was in competition for the Golden Palm. He kept a fairly low profile, except for the little garden party arranged by Lorimar for about 450 guests. "I'm fine, thank you, I'm feeling very fit; I'm fine, thank you, I'm feeling very fit," Peter kept repeating as he made his way through the horde. But the journalists kept asking. was in competition for the Golden Palm. He kept a fairly low profile, except for the little garden party arranged by Lorimar for about 450 guests. "I'm fine, thank you, I'm feeling very fit; I'm fine, thank you, I'm feeling very fit," Peter kept repeating as he made his way through the horde. But the journalists kept asking.

"Please, I am not an invalid," he insisted to the crowd of reporters, who were legitimately confused by his remarks because they were being told simultaneously by Lorimar staffers that Peter was "not a well man."

Paparazzi, kept out of the affair by a wrought-iron fence, simply poked their lenses through the iron bars while a string quartet played in the background. The Los Angeles Herald-Examiner Herald-Examiner's Wanda McDaniel described the turmoil: "When Sellers arrived, the roots of garden party etiquette got severed to smithereens. At one point, the crush took on shades of panic until bodyguards convinced the curious that there are better ways to go than getting trampled to death at a garden fete."

The garden party certainly helped the film's publicity, but it scarcely mattered as far as the awards were concerned. The Golden Palm went to two films that year: Bob Fosse's All That Jazz All That Jazz (1979) and Akira Kurosawa's (1979) and Akira Kurosawa's Kagemusha Kagemusha (1980). (1980).

And the Best Actor? Michel Piccoli for Salto nel vuoto Salto nel vuoto (1979). (1979).

"The only rocks in this marriage are the rocks other people are throwing," Lynne declared at the end of May. And furthermore, she made a point of noting, "My mother and I are enjoying a very good relationship once again because she now approves of Peter. She assumed our marriage would last only a couple of months. Instead we have been together almost five years and we celebrated our third wedding anniversary in February. We are proving my mother wrong, so she has finally had to accept Peter." and we celebrated our third wedding anniversary in February. We are proving my mother wrong, so she has finally had to accept Peter."

"My mother still hasn't met him," Lynne went on to say. "One of the reasons is that she lives in Spain and we have no plans to go there."

Instead, Peter and Lynne went in precisely the opposite direction. They embarked on a yachting trip to the Aegean Sea.

It was probably wise of both Peter and Lynne to stay away from Iris Frederick, but even a luxurious sail could only do so much. The effects of the face-lift were wiped away by Peter's worsening heart condition. His face was taking on a gaunt quality; the precise shape of his skull emerging more clearly with every pound of weight he lost, not to mention every added line of worry and stress. And yet, typically, and despite his increasing frailty, he continued to develop new film ideas. It was the only therapy he trusted.

The writer Stephen Bach, then an executive with United Artists, flew to Gstaad in June. "Peter Sellers was wraithlike," Bach later wrote. "The smile he wore seemed paralyzed in place, and I thought I had never seen so delicate a man. His skull, his fingers, the tightly drawn, almost transparent skin-all seemed frail, infinitely fragile .... [He was] a spectral presence, a man made of eggshells."

Peter had been working on the script of The Romance of the Pink Panther The Romance of the Pink Panther with a writer named Jim Moloney; the film's producer, Danny Rissner, had sent Peter some script notes, and Peter, after reading them on the yacht in the Aegean, had threatened to jump overboard. He insisted that Lynne be named as executive producer. If UA balked, he would walk. with a writer named Jim Moloney; the film's producer, Danny Rissner, had sent Peter some script notes, and Peter, after reading them on the yacht in the Aegean, had threatened to jump overboard. He insisted that Lynne be named as executive producer. If UA balked, he would walk.

It must be said that Lynne Frederick had her hands full with Peter, as did each of his other wives. The difference was that none of his friends could stand this one. They knew him him too well, for one thing. And they trusted neither her motives nor her personal performances-the ones she gave privately for them. It was relatively distant business associates who got the full treatment. Bach, for instance, believed Lynne's benevolent routine on his trip to Gstaad to salvage the project. "The atmosphere was uneasy only until Lynne Frederick came into the room, exuding an aura of calm that somehow enveloped us all like an Alpine fragrance. She was only in her mid-twenties but instantly observable as the mature center around which the household revolved, an emotional anchor that looked like a daffodil." too well, for one thing. And they trusted neither her motives nor her personal performances-the ones she gave privately for them. It was relatively distant business associates who got the full treatment. Bach, for instance, believed Lynne's benevolent routine on his trip to Gstaad to salvage the project. "The atmosphere was uneasy only until Lynne Frederick came into the room, exuding an aura of calm that somehow enveloped us all like an Alpine fragrance. She was only in her mid-twenties but instantly observable as the mature center around which the household revolved, an emotional anchor that looked like a daffodil."

At the same time, Lynne Frederick deserves a bit of compassion herself in retrospect. It was the helpless Peter she nursed, the dependent and infantile creature of impulse and consequent contrition. Patiently, she ministered to him. And eventually, as Bach observes, Peter was moved to cooperate. At the end of the meeting, Bach observes, "I noticed, as he rose, that not once in the long, talkative afternoon had he let go of Lynne's hand, nor had she moved away. She transfused him simultaneously with calm and energy and the hand he clung to was less a hand than a lifeline."

The Romance of the Pink Panther was not the only project on Peter's mind. Marshall Brickman's was not the only project on Peter's mind. Marshall Brickman's Valium Valium, now called Lovesick Lovesick, was still in development. Brickman still possesses a tape recording of Peter practicing his scenes as a Viennese psychiatrist. Unfaithfully Yours Unfaithfully Yours, too, was moving forward, as was a sort of reunion project with Terry Southern. The proposed title: Grossing Out Grossing Out.

It was to be a satire based on someone Peter claimed to have met. Peter had, the story goes, once been invited to the wedding of a Saudi princess and found himself sitting on an Arabia-bound airplane next to a man who appeared to be a fabulously dressed rock star but who turned out to be an international arms dealer. "He had an accent that Peter couldn't pin-Mediterranean, but you couldn't tell where," Southern's companion, Gail Gerber, relates.

"'This jacket is bulletproof,'" the weapons trader explained. "Peter was fascinated. 'And these buttons are the shell casings of bullets that were shot into it.' That knocked Peter out."

From that point, spinning out script ideas with the gloriously warped Terry Southern must have been great fun-the scenes taking place in the international arms marketplace, for example. "As Peter explained it to Terry, it was just like going to a shopping mall," says Gerber. On much the same wavelength as Peter and Terry, Hal Ashby expressed interest in directing Grossing Out Grossing Out, and the Hollywood trade papers reported that Peter would be getting $3 million for his appearance.

To the list was added The Ferret The Ferret; written and directed by Blake Edwards, the comedy-on-the-drawing-boards was to be a spin-off of the Pink Panther Pink Panther series, still involving the character of Clouseau, but redefining the story that surrounded him. series, still involving the character of Clouseau, but redefining the story that surrounded him.

"Without my work, life would be intolerable," Peter said. "It is the only panacea I know."

From Gstaad in early summer, Peter called his British lawyer, Elwood Rickless, and told him that he had finally agreed to the angiogram-an X-ray of one or more blood vessels of the cardiovascular system-that his cardiologist had recommended, the point being to determine whether his heart was strong enough to withstand surgery. He arranged to fly to London and then to Los Angeles, where he would check into Cedars-Sinai Medical Center for the exam. He chose Cedars-Sinai because of his positive experience there in 1964. If the cardiology team recommended it, Peter agreed that he would undergo immediate open-heart surgery.

"I was speaking to Peter on the phone," Spike Milligan said. "The subject of children came up, and he said, 'You know, I'm a bloody fool. I keep leaving them in and out of the will. Some weeks I put them in, others I take them out. It depends on how I feel.'" Spike offered his opinion-that he thought all all children were entitled to inherit at least some of their father's estate. "Yes," Peter responded, "I really must change my will." children were entitled to inherit at least some of their father's estate. "Yes," Peter responded, "I really must change my will."

Meanwhile, in Los Angeles, Malcolm McDowell ran into Lynne: "I was sitting in Ma Maison restaurant on Melrose Avenue in West Hollywood, and I looked over and there was Lynne Frederick Sellers. Because I had worked with her, of course, I went over to say hello, and she introduced me to her lawyer. We chatted for a minute, and I started to walk off, and then she came over and said, 'Malcolm, I'm meeting with my lawyer because I've had it with Peter. It's over.' I said, 'I'm very sorry to hear that, Lynne.' She said, 'I'm really sick of him. I'm sick of him! I mean, this has gone too far. I should have done this ages ago, and that's it! and that's it!'"