I just couldn't seem to get over what surpa.s.sed. I had been getting nightmares and been waking up feeling short of breath. Robbie stayed with me at night but whenever he tried to console me after having a nightmare, I would flinch at his touch. I could see that it hurts him. I don't want to see him like that yet I couldn't help reacting this way. I had been losing appet.i.te. This had made mum so anxious that she would force food down my throat, telling me that I will become weak if I don't eat. At times, I would end up throwing some food up, as if my stomach was refusing to take it. The biggest trouble was I just can't get that man's touch off of me. No matter how much I bathe or how much I scrub, it is like he had stained my soul.

I am extremely afraid to meet any of my friends, scared that I might detect disgust in their eyes, scared that they would leave me after knowing that I was no more any different from what people often accused us Omega of. I know I had been acting like a jerk to everyone but what do I do? If they too leave me, what will I be left with?

Twen would stick to me like a magnet and often threw tantrums on not being allowed to stay with me all the time. But seeing that makes me even more scared. Will he really love me as much as he does now when he know that his mum is filthied? What would I do if Twen starts hating me? He is the reason I continued the fight for survival, if he can't stand the sight of me, then I might as well Die!!

Knock! knock!

I looked at the door. Mum and Robbie don't knock, and I told them I don't wanna meet anyone. Then who could it be?

"Tony? Its me, Tanya! Can I come in?" I heard the familiar voice of Tanya.

My hands started shaking. I wanted to see her, talk to her but I was afraid of knowing what she will be thinking of me? Would she hate me? Would she be disgusted of a Omega like me?

"Tony, I miss you!" I heard Tanya say, her voice emotional. I was extremely surprised at this. She....misses me? "I miss talking to you, spending time with you, working with you! Please, I wanna see you"

Tanya....Tanya wants to see me? Does she still wants to see me? I got down from bed, my legs trembling as I made my way to the door. With a s.h.i.+vering hand, I turned the handle and opened the door to come face to face with Tanya. I saw behind her, mum and Robbie were looking on, and they were pleasently surprised on seeing me. I didn't have time to observe anything else as Tanya wrapped her arms around me, saying in a broken voice,

"You d*mn idiot! Do you know how worried I was? Do you know how much I wanted to see you. Who vanishes on their friend like this??"

I was dumbstruck. Was Tanya really so upset on not seeing me? Didn't she know what happened? Does she not feel disgusted of me? I looked at Tanya's brown hair which, for a change, were in a ponytail. She held me so tightly that my ribs started hurting. I felt a slight wetness near my shoulder, understanding that she had also shed some tears.

I heard mum say from behind, "You friends have a talk, I ll get you some snacks"

For some reason, even her voice sounded heavy with emotion.

Tanya left me and her cute round face were s.h.i.+ning with tears and a happy smile spread across on her lips.

"Oh Tony, you look horribly weak. Have you been skipping meals again?" she asked scanning me from top to bottom

I felt so speechless that I didn't know what to say. I looked at her carefully. There was no trace of loathing or abhorrence. She was smiling with all her heart. She really didn't feel any any disgust.

When I didn't make any move and stood like a statue, Tanya held my hand and pulled ms in he room making me sit on the bed. She smiled at me said like a fussy mum,

"Look at the condition of hair, don't you even comb it? And goodness me, how pale and thin you have gotten, you look like a skeleton"

She goes to the dressing table and took the comb from there. She came back, sat behind me and started combing my hair,

"Honestly, how can you stay in a messy state. Do you want to set a bad example to Twen??" she chirped, shaking her head

I finally regained a bit of composure after hearing Twen. She was being way too gentle with her combing, making me almost drowsy. Once she was done, she came in front of me,

"Now you look like Tony" she said fondly

"Why?" I asked looking at her glowing smiling face, "Why aren't you repulsed by me?"

I saw Tanya's smile fade as she heard the question and the happiness in her eyes got replaced with worry. She said quietly, "Why should I be repulsed by you?"

My lips trembled as I said, "I-I w"

I couldn't speak out. I hung my head, looking at my hands. A gloomy silence fell in the room. It didn't sustain as mum came in with two cups of tea, teacakes, and canapes. She placed it in the side table. Tanya turned to her, smiling,

"Mrs. Walker, I will do it. If you don't mind, can you leave us both alone for a while?" she said, politely

Mum looked at me blinking and then at Tanya,

"Yes dear, of course!" she said and walked out of the room and closed the door behind her.

Tanya looked at me with a tensed serious face. "I can understand Tony what you are going through. I know you are sickened by the thought of that man holding you (I recoiled at the thought). I can understand it w"

"NO! No you don't understand. You can't possibly-" I started shaking my head but got interrupted

"I CAN BECAUSE I KNOW!" Tanya cried interjecting me