The doorbell rang right at ten Saturday morning. Uncle Mike was early.

Tamping down the mixture of excitement and dread this visit conjured up, I answered the door. He was dressed in the new Class-B uniforma"blue pants, white button-down shirt and gleaming black shoesa"and his brown hair was shorter than I'd ever seen it; a one-blade buzz. To say this was an official visit seemed like an understatement.

"Major Tannen," I said, choosing to go with his honorific. "Welcome home, sir."

Uncle Mike came into the entry and paused a minute before engulfing me in a big hug, complete with vertebrae-jarring pats on the back, despite the fact that he had to reach up a little to do it. I always found it weird that I was taller than him now.

"You look like your dog died, Chief. Everything okay?"

I disentangled myself, surprised by the hug. Uncle Mike had never been the touchy-feely type; maybe having a daughter had changed things. "Um, yeah. I'm fine."

"Hmm, right. Sure you are." Mike followed me into the living room and settled in the recliner.

"What, are you the teenager whisperer, now?" I asked, annoyed. "I said I was fine, and I am."

Mike's expression turned hard. Oh, great, Major Tannen was finally coming out to play. "I can tell that's not true. Hell, Matt, I can hear it when I talk to you on the phone. The verve has been sucked right out of you, and it shows. If you're distracted in Africa, we'll have problems. This one is going to be dangerous; I can't have you moody and erratic."

I glanced toward the kitchen. Mom was banging pots around in there, out of earshot. We didn't need her to hear that my next op would be more hazardous than usual. "I'm a professional. I'll keep it together."

He didn't look too happy with my response. "And that's why I'm worried. Keeping it together isn't the same as having it together. It's clear you're hurting and I want to help. We have to find a way to get your head on straight."

My mother swept into the room. She must've heard Mr. Wisdom analyzing my mood, because she led off with, "I know what'll help. Matt needs kissed, and badly."

I flushed until my scalp radiated. "Mom, you did not just say that!"

Mom sat on the couch, not even bothering to look at me. She nodded to Mike. "His heart's broken. That's what this is all about."

"Ella, huh?" Mike said. "That makes sense. The first one always hurts the worst."

"That's part of it," Mom said. "He also works harder than most adults we know. The pressure is really high, between school and his otheraduties. It'd make anyone irritable. But it's mainly Ella, I think."

"I'm standing right here, you know," I said. They didn't have a clue; I had been kissed recently, and it did nothing to save me from a foul mood. "But if you'd like to keep discussing my love life, I'm disappearing until we have to catch our plane."

"Waitaplane? What plane?" Mom asked, looking between us. "Mike told me he was coming to visit to check on his loft because the sub-letters moved out." She cocked her head to one side, giving Mike the stink eye. "Michael, what is Matt talking about?"

I shot Uncle Mike a smug look. He wasn't the only one with a talent for diverting people from a sensitive topic by springing a surprise on them. I'd learned well.

Mike rubbed his temples. "Chief, I think I need to talk to Dani alone for a bit, please."

A year ago I might've bristled at being dismissed like a kid. Today, though, all the anger disappeared in a flash, leaving nothing but exhaustion. The problems with Will, the stolen kiss with Ella, the never-ending mission called *my life'athe weight of it left me nothing but tired. I turned and left the room with my shoulders bowed. As I rounded the corner in the entry, Mom asked, "What plane?"

Mike and Mom argued for three hours about whether or not to let me A) leave school for an indeterminate period of time again and B) go to Africa, where, as Mom put it, I could get malaria, or worse. No, reallya"the U.S. Army was sending her sixteen-year-old son halfway around the world to investigate supernatural activity and the first concern she voiced was malaria. Mom's worry list needed some prioritization, I thought, but I didn't want to admit that I'd been taking various meds required for international travel off and on for eighteen months, either.

Once Uncle Mike promised he wouldn't leave my side for an instant the entire trip and Mom forced me to promise that I'd study at least three hours per day, she relented. How I'd take online classes while in the wilds of Botswana was a mystery to me, but I promised anyway.

After we wore Mom down, Mike retreated to his loft downtown. That left me with little to do other than get ready for my date, which I was dreading more and more by the second. The only thing that kept me from calling Sami and telling her I had the flu was Tink's smug murmuring about how I'd finally learned that the job was more important than these "little dramas." I decided I'd go on this date just to spite Tink, if for no other reason.

I stopped on my way out to say goodbye to momapartly as a stall tactic.

"Be careful, honey," Mom called from her office.

Her large metal desk was piled with papers except for the spot for her laptop, and boxes lined the floor. She was also wearing her favorite ratty velour sweat suit and had a pencil tucked behind one ear. All these clues told me that she had a new case starting up. I secretly hoped it would keep her so busy, she wouldn't worry about me while I was in Africa, but I was smart enough to know that would never happen.

"Home by eleven, if not earlier," I said. "I have a lot to do to get ready for the trip." Given how I thought this evening would go, I might be home before nine.

Mom shook her head. "I don't know whether to be happy or annoyed by that. Seriously, kiddo, give me some trouble every once in a while. This military discipline is killing me. You're too young not to have some fun."

"I'm going out with a hot cheerleader." I kicked at the divider that separated the entryway tile from the carpet in her office. "That's fun."

"It doesn't seem like it. You look like you're being forced to take medicine." Mom got up from her chair, weaving through the boxes to put her hands on my arms. "Matt, I know you think this is a good way to get over Ella, but, trust me, it's not. That'll take time. Trying to fill the void with someone you're not head over heels aboutawell, it doesn't work. I tried."

"But at least you had a running start," I said, my voice sounding hollow in my ears. "You asked Dad to go, not the other way around."

As soon as I said it, I winced. Maybe I was still a little bitter she'd kept him a secret for so long, but punching someone else's bruise wasn't okay, either.

Mom took a step back, looking hurt. "Yes, I did. But that doesn't mean I got over your dad. Here we are, sixteen years later, and I'm not married. I had the opportunity. Two men wanted to marry me, help take care of you guys. They were good men, too, but never good enough to replace Erik."

"I'm sorry, Mom." And I was. Fate hadn't been all that kind to my familya"special or not, chosen or not. "I didn't know."

"It's okay. Sometimes I forget you're old enough to understand these things now. I should have been moreaopen." She went back to her desk. "Try to have fun."

Her words rang in my ears all the way to Sami's. I still had too much Ella in my system to be the right kind of boyfriend for anyone. By the time I pulled into Sami's driveway, I'd pretty well decided a"a" I would tell her right away; I had to be fair. She deserved better, and Will was right. I needed to fly solo for a long, long time.

Stomach churning, I trudged up to her front door and rang the bell. I had no clue how to ditch a girl, even if I wanted to be nice about it. Especially when said girl and I hadn't even been on our first date yet.

Sami came to the door and made things even harder by wearing a miniskirt and tank top. Guess the autumn chill didn't bother her, and I couldn't say I was sorry about it.

Wearing a playful smile, she said, "There he is. Get in here."

She grabbed my arm and dragged me into the house. I steeled myself for a round of "meet the parents," sincerely hoping her dad didn't have any firearms handy when I hurt his daughter's feelings.

It was really quiet inside. Worried about how to end the night with the least pain possible, I followed blindly without wondering where everyone was. When we stopped, I was surprised to find myself in Sami's bedroom.

God, I could be so stupid sometimes.

She smiled again, sending something lazy and sexy drifting through the air. "My parents took my little sisters to see Disney on Ice tonight. They won't be home for hours."

"Oh." Dumb thing to say. "So, do you want to go grab dinner?" Even dumber. What the heck was wrong with me? I was in a girl's bedroom, and I couldn't wait to leave?

Sami giggled. "Maybe later. Why don't you have a seat," she said, steering me toward the bed. "I'll be right back."

Her bed was typical girl: queen-sized bed with a soft pink and white comforter. All her bedroom furniture was white, and her walls were painted a pale pink. There were little white trinket shelves on the walls, each covered with stuffed animals, her name in wooden letters, and tiny glass knickknacks. I guessed it was supposed to look feminine, but all it did was give me hives.

"Hey," she said.

I looked up and almost had a seizure. Sami stood in the doorway to her bedroom, wearing nothing but a lavender bra and matching panties that looked like they came from the back half of Victoria's Secreta"the part of the store where guys my age didn't go for fear of looking like a perv. My heart leapt forward in uneven bursts and every part of my body sat up and took notice.

Sami was petite, but not too skinny. The muscles of her legs were perfect, probably from all the cheerleading. Her stomach was flat, and her chest wasn't; the bra barely kept everything in.

I felt like I might go blind.

She shut the door, locked it, then came over and sat next to me on the bed. "So, what was that about dinner?"

Dinner? Who was going to dinner? I couldn't even remember what I'd planned to tell her. I was just here for the show.

"Um, nothing." My voice came out hoarse and squeaky.

Sami giggled and crawled into my lap. I started to sweat as she played with the buttons on my shirt, undoing them one by one. "That's what I thought you said."

I didn't ask myself why she was being so aggressive. No, all I could think about was her fingers working on those buttons. Her face was so close. Without a single thought in my head, I pulled her close and kissed her. Sami was tiny, much littler thana.nope, wasn't gonna think about her. I let my hands wander and Sami didn't object. Far from it. Her skin was warm and soft and totally yielding.

Sami pulled off my button-down then wrestled my t-shirt over my head. I burned all over like I had a fevera"this was actually happening. I slid my hand up from her knee to her thigh while Sami traced the various scars on my chest and stomach.

"Wow. You have an accident?"

Her touch was light, tickling a little, and my muscles tightened, almost like they wanted to demand her attention. "Umathey're from snowboarding. I'm kind of a daredevil, take courses I shouldn't."

"I like a guy who takes risks. It's hot." Sami pressed her body against mine and the lace from her bra scratched my chest. My ability to think dissolved.

Before long, we were tangled up together on her bed. Sami was still in her underwear, and I was close to it, seeing as how she'd undone the fly on my jeans. She crawled on top of me, kissing me with her blond hair spread out, curtaining our faces. Her hands were roaming all over, and my eyes rolled back in my head.

I wouldn't liea"it felt great to have someone want me. Sami wouldn't push me away. I took risks. I had a feeling if I told her everything about my life, she'd just want me more.

I reached around to take off her bra, but couldn't seem to make sense of the strap. What were bra designers thinking? Guys shouldn't need a degree in engineering to undo the dang things. I gave it a few yanks, but nothing happened. Finally, I slipped her shoulder strap off, thinking I'd work around it.

Sami bit my lower lipajust a little tug, but it gave me all kinds of good shivers. "Hurry up, Matt. I can't wait forever."

Neither could I.

Oh, really?

Something cold slithered down my spine and my brain picked right then to remind me what I'd planned to tell her. I stopped messing with her bra strap, needing to make a decision. I didn't care about her. Not even a little bit. Sami was nice, fun, anda Convenient.

On the other hand, I might die in a few weeks. Did I really want to go out as a virgin?

What does that matter, when you're betraying my trust? Tink asked. You don't like it when I'm angry, do you?

I should've known Tink would butt in. And that she would get her way.

"Sami, stop."

I rolled out from under her, kicking myself for giving up such an easy opportunity. Sometimes having an overactive conscience really blew, especially when part of that conscience wasn't even my own. The blade-spirit and I were going to have to get our priorities straight, no doubt about it. I didn't belong to her like some kind of indentured servant.

On the other handathe warning did give me a good excuse to leave before I made things worse.

"What's wrong?" Sami asked, sounding out of breath. She put her arms around my neck and tried to pull me back down.

I seriously considered caving it. It might make me feel better, even if only for a little while.

You will not feel better, Matt. You know I'm right, otherwise you wouldn't be arguing with me. Or with yourself.

Stupid knife-spirit.

I stood up with my back to Sami and redid my fly with shaking fingers. "Sami, I can't do this with you."

"Why not?" She sounded confused and hurt. Probably wondering why someone wouldn't want her. The problem was that I dida"just not enough.

I pulled my t-shirt on, still not looking at her, and grabbed my button-down from the floor. I took my time buttoning it, leaving the tail untucked to hide the evidence of just how much she was doing for me.

"Because it's notaokay."

I spied a tank top and a pair of those gym shorts with "cheer" printed on the butt sitting on the chair by her desk. I picked them up and finally faced Sami. Tears spilled down her cheeks. Feeling like the world's biggest ass, I handed her the clothes. Seeming resigned, she tugged the tank over her head, covering the sexy underwear.

She gulped and swiped at the tears on her face with the back of her hand. "I don't understand. I've been trying so hard to make you like me."

I sat down with her. "I know you have, and that's why this isn't okay. I do like you. Enough to stop myself before I made a mistake that hurt you." She stared at me and I knew I had to tell her everything to make her understand. I wasn't going to be spared the hard way out. "I'm still in love with Ella, Sami. It's gonna take me a long time to get over her. I like you too much to use you to make myself feel better, when I'll probably nevera"

I had to stop. I was such a bastard, but I couldn't tell Sami I'd never love her. That was beyond my cruelty threshold.

Sami stood to face me, her hurt expression turning angrier by the second "You think I don't know that?" Her face flushed red and her glare pinned me in place. "I saw you with Ella yesterday. I was early to fifth period and saw you kissing her in my classroom. Why do you think I'm trying so hard?"

We'd been in Sami's classroom? I rubbed my forehead. Of all the dumb luck; there's a new low for Matt Archer. But it also explained why Sami had come on so strong tonight. "Why didn't you say something?"

"I hoped it was just unfinished business, clearing the air so you could forget her. Now I know it's more complicated than that." She turned her back on me, but her rigid posture spoke volumes about just how upset she was.

Eventually I was going to pay for this moment, big time, and I was becoming more and more grateful that I'd be shipping out to Africa in short order. "I'm really sorry."

She turned around and if looks could kill, I'd be nothing but a pile of nuclear ash. "Not as sorry as I am. Now get out."

I left her standing in the middle of her bedroom, wishing I could crawl under a rock and stay there. Still, as soon as I backed out of her driveway, I felt better than I had in a long time.

Chapter Eight.

Early Monday morning, an hour before school was due to start and three hours before my flight left for Colorado Springs, Mom and I presented ourselves to Greenhill's principal, Mrs. Stevens, to break the news that I was withdrawing for a while.

With graying brown hair and wrinkles on her face, Mrs. Stevens looked like your favorite great aunta"the one who baked you cookies and sneaked you extra when your parents weren't lookinga"but looks were deceiving. My principal had the backbone of a Navy SEAL and could stare down a python. I'd spent some time in her office the last few years and had been the uncomfortable recipient of that stare. Luckily for me, it was Mom's turn to suffer this time.

"So, if I understand correctly, Mrs. Archer," Mrs. Stevens said, "Matt's going to Africa for the foreseeable future?" When Mom nodded, she tapped her pen on her desk, like she was thinking about giving Mom detention. "I'm sorry to hear this is happening again, but it's certainly your right to pull him from school, and given the nature of hisaahawork, I guess we don't have a choice."