"Don't...know. Feel weird. Stoned."

"Did someone drug you?"

"Pain meds...did a big shot of Southern Comfort. And beer."

She snarled at me. "You dumbass! I can't believe you did that!"

I tried to walk with her but it was getting harder, and she was soon supporting me. "Don't you fucking puss out on me, bitch. Get your ass in gear. Fight. Never give up."

That managed to get me three more steps, and I slumped against the wall as warmth flowed through me.

This was nice. I really didn't care about anything at the moment. I could probably withstand torture if I felt like this. Mellow.

Shit.

My life was so utterly fucked up.

Sarah flung my door open, dragging me behind her, and when I went to look behind me I saw an unfamiliar guy dressed like a biker with a couple days' worth of beard. The rage distorting his face, as Sarah slammed the door shut behind me, I threw back the lock. Sarah went to shove the dresser in front of the door and I helped her as best I could in my current state, my breath coming out in ragged coughs as I struggled to free my airway from the smoke I'd inhaled downstairs.

A sickening lethargy spread through me, and I limply grabbed onto Sarah's arm as she dragged me into the bathroom. She hauled me over to the toilet and stuck her finger down my throat. Despite the increasing lassitude, my body knew what to do when my gag reflex was triggered. I threw up until my stomach was cramping. Sarah eased me back, then cleaned me up and massaged my stomach, easing the pain until I was lying there panting, sweaty, and exhausted. My last thought before unconsciousness claimed me was that I was really fuckin' tired of passing out.

I woke up sometime later to the harsh noise of Sarah in ber bitch mode going off on someone. My thoughts were slow and muzzy. We must have been drinking pretty hard last night, because my head ached and my mouth tasted like someone had taken a dump in it while I was sleeping. Moving took too much effort, so I just pulled in a deep breath and shouted, "For fuck's sake, Sarah, can you stop yelling at Dad for ten damn minutes. Shit. And go get me some orange juice and some aspirin."

I managed to pull the pillow over my face, already half asleep, when it was rudely jerked away from me. I had to close my eyes against the light searing my pupils. Rough fingers touched my face, and I squinted and focused on what turned out to be the somehow familiar face of a super hot guy. Blinking at him, I reached out and traced his lips, and the sight of his red eyes disturbed me enough that I blinked against the stinging light to try and see him better.

I cleared my throat and croaked out, "Do I know you?"

An expression of fear crossed his face, and my sister spoke from the side of the room, "She'll be fine. Give her stupid brain a chance to surface past her attempts to kill it with alcohol and drugs."

"Bitch." I lifted my head to look at her, then clasped my hands over my throbbing skull as I tried to hold it together. "Owwww."

Slender fingers pried my hands off my eyes and Sarah looked down on me. The wig was gone as well as the fake nose, and her pale blonde hair brushed her shoulders while the remains of heavy makeup streaked her face. Her blotchy, swollen face told me she'd been crying. Neither of us shed pretty tears. She'd lost weight and appeared really, really run down.

I reached up and touched her sharp cheekbone. "Sarah, are you sick?"

Pressing her lips together, she glanced around the room then back to me. "I'll talk to you about it later."

"Khan is on his way," a man said from the other side of the room and Sarah swallowed.

I licked my dry lips as memories began to surface. "Khan...like the wrath of...he's scary."

My sister gave a brittle laugh. "He can be, but he's also a pussy cat. What else can you remember?"

The breath left my lungs in a low rush as my mind began to fill with my life. "Smoke."

I immediately reached for him, and he picked me all the way up, cradling me in his arms. His body shook, and I clumsily tried to pet and soothe him. If he started to cry I was fucking done for.

"Hey, hey, I'm okay."

When he looked up I realized he wasn't shaking with sorrow, but rather anger. "You're okay," he repeated in a low voice.

"I'm okay, I'm here, I'm alive," then I kissed him to prove it.

"Alive," he whispered against my mouth with apparent profound relief.

Before our kiss could get dirty Sarah said, "Ha! I knew you had a thing for her."

I turned my head so I could see Sarah, but didn't let go of Smoke. "What?"

She ignored my question, and gave Smoke a smug smile. "How the mighty have fallen. I bet every sweet butt from here to New Mexico is crying herself to sleep."

It looked like Sarah felt comfortable with Smoke and had a good relationship with him in her own messed up way. She gave him shit like he was family. From the spark in Smoke's dark eyes he was about to give as good as he got.

"Speaking of fallen," Smoke said in a silky voice, "Beach is waiting for you to call him back, Sarah. He wanted me to remind you of your agreement with him, one phone call a day, every day. And my Prez also wants you to know that Papi is on his way, and that you're his now, princess. Get ready for a life of spoiled leisure after he punishes you for scaring ten years off his life."

Watching the blood rush out of her face might have been comical if she hadn't looked like she was about to faint. Before she could stumble, Hulk was there, gently supporting her. She smiled gratefully up at him and patted his arm. "Always there to catch me. You need to get a new hobby."

"You need to stop falling down around me."

She took a deep breath and looked Smoke in the eye, a light flush heating her cheeks. "Well, I guess I'll be taking the next seven years off from working full-time to sit on my ass and eat bon bons."

Confused by their inside conversation and the state of the world in general, I thumped Smoke on the shoulder, "Can you let me down? I need to talk to my sister."

"We all need to talk to your sister," Hulk muttered while Sarah had the good grace to blush as her defiant expression fell a notch.

Without another word, I grabbed her hand and tugged her into the bathroom, ignoring the protests of the men. As soon as we were inside I turned on the shower and locked the door, then spun to face her. We stared at each other for a moment before Sarah cracked a smile and said, "You look like you're doing okay for yourself."

"Yeah, other than people trying to kill me every time I turn around I'm having a great time."

She winced, then looked down at her hands. "I'm sorry I haven't caught her yet."

I grabbed her in a fierce hug. "I don't give a fuck about that, you stupid bitch! You're alive, that's the only thing I care about. I love you so much, I was so worried about you, and I'm sorry I've been such a crotch nugget to you. Where the fuck have you been?"

"It's...complicated." She hugged me back hesitantly at first then harder until she started to sob. "I'm so sorry I got you dragged into this. I didn't know Los Diablos would be at the bar. You got there before I did, I got caught up in traffic, and by the time I arrived they had you. I followed them as far as I could, then called the clubhouse and left an anonymous tip."

For a moment I had no idea what she was talking about, then I thought back to when this roller coaster ride from hell began in Dallas when I'd been kidnaped for the first time.

"Hey, it's not your fault. I wasn't paying any attention. I should have seen them. I guess my paranoia was out of practice. Besides, Smoke saved me, and I started to fall in love with him that night."

She blinked quickly, something I did as well when I was trying to fight off tears. In many ways watching Sarah was like watching myself, and she was easier than anyone for me to read. I mean yeah, she was my twin, but it went deeper than that. I was filled with a sense of shame for having given up this special bond with my sister for someone as stupid as Stewart.

Sarah sighed and tucked a wayward strand of my hair behind my ear. "I'm so proud of you, and so sorry I still haven't managed to nail our mother down. That bitch is slippery, and I can't get too close to her without tipping off her watchdogs. Please forgive me for dragging you into this, but I couldn't do it on my own."

"You didn't drag me into anything, it was our waste-of-space mother. I'm so proud of you for going after her even if I want to strangle you for putting yourself in danger like that! Where have you been? What have you been doing? And why the hell wouldn't you contact me?"

"I couldn't. Nothing I sent to you could be trusted not to end up in the wrong hands. They have hackers that make Stewart look like a rank amateur. This is the big league, Swan, and they don't play around. I got the jewels that will make Hustler happy, I got the codes that will make the Russians happy, and I know for a fact that we can trade them for our safety. The Russians will not only forgive our mother's debt, they will add their protection to us. That leaves the Israelis, and I'm hoping that'll work itself out." She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "So we'll have a strong enough shield of people guarding us, the kind of people who will seek bloody retribution on our behalf, and we should, in theory, be able to live the rest of our lives in relative peace."

I stared at her, completely stunned. "Are you for fucking real?"

"Absolutely." Something...mesmerizing flashed in her blue eyes for a moment then she sat taller. "The Iron Horse MC is my family. Nobody fucks with my family and most especially, nobody fucks with my blood. I love you honey, so much, and I'm so, so happy to see you. I missed you."

She told me that Beach had taught her about unconditional love and how she felt so at peace now. It had taken her awhile to get used to the idea that someone could love her for who she is, that she was worthy of that love, but Beach was nothing if not determined. I just held her and listened, letting her pour out her feelings and emotions. That's how Sarah coped with things. She needed someone she could trust enough to confide in, someone to talk it out with. It had been a long time since she'd done this with me, and I couldn't help but wonder if Beach filled that role in her life now. Smoke certainly filled my need to be held and cuddled, but it still felt good to hold my sister in my arms.

I eventually pried her off of me and handed her a wad of toilet paper so she could blow her nose. I wiped my own eyes and studied her, noticing that she'd lost at least ten pounds, and underneath the cheap bracelets she wore stacked on her left arm she had 'Beach' tattooed on her inner-wrist. My mind tried to switch to her fiance and thoughts of how relieved he was going to be, but right now my focus needed to be on Sarah. My heart ached with love for her, and it took everything I had not to grab her and hug the shit out of her again. We didn't have much more time before the guys intruded, and I needed to talk to her, but only after she pulled herself together.

Everything was going so fast that my filter couldn't catch up. "I'm going to sing Wind Beneath my Wings for you at your wedding."

"You better be ready to sing it in Vegas," Sarah said with a grin as she wiped at her face with a washcloth. "Because I've been thinking about marrying Beach there since the day I met him, and it's going to be a hell of a party."

A giggle bubbled up out of me before I could stop it, and I was transported back in time to my sister watching one of those bridal dress shows with me and telling me how she was going to get married in some tropical paradise.

"What happened to the palm tree-themed wedding?"

"I decided to save that for the month-long honeymoon Beach and I will go on. You have no idea how much I want that man to myself. I don't want to share him with anyone, just soak up the sun and love him."

Empathy surged through me as I imagined doing that with Smoke, and how good it would be. "I hear ya. Once this shit is settled, you tell me when and where, and I will be at your wedding...as long as you do one thing for me."

"And that would be?"

"Could you have a reception party at Dad's after? It would mean a lot to him and Mimi."

"I'm not getting married without Dad and Mimi being there. Nice side perk of being Beach's old lady is people try to kiss our asses-a lot. So we get things like free use of private jets and all that thrown at us all the time. Although Beach is more likely to just go out and buy one if it comes to that. Boys and their toys." Her lower lip trembled, then she began to cry again.

Flustered, I patted her back. "Girl, get a grip. You can't cry like this in front of those guys, they'll be terrified of Beach thinking they made you unhappy. Time to woman up."

After dragging in a few watery breaths she sighed and whispered, "Sorry, hormones are making me a fucking mess. If Beach thought I was crazy before wait until he has to live with me for the next nine months."

"Hormones?"

The look in her gaze was tortured as she said, "I'm pregnant."

I took one deep breath, and another, then squealed and clapped my hands as her words fully set in. "Congratulations! A baby! Oh, my gosh, that is amazing."

A new tear raced down her blotchy cheek. "Swan, I'm not happy about it."

"Why the hell not? Beach is going to be overjoyed. He loves you so much Sarah. He'll be happy that you're going to have a baby. You have nothing to worry about. That man would move heaven and earth for you."

"You don't understand. I know he'll be a wonderful father, and he wants to have a baby with me so bad...but I'll be a terrible mother."

"What?" The conviction and self-hatred in her voice struck me like a blow. "No, you will be a wonderful mother. You're such a good person, and while I may have been too dumb to see it, you take care of those you love."

"But what if I end up like...her? I couldn't do that to my baby. I've been trying to be better, but every once in a while my temper slips and I hurt people's feelings. What if I did that to my child?"

"When's the last time you lost it?"

"On Beach. We had a big fight, and I flipped out and said some pretty bad stuff."

I blinked. "Okay, well, what about before then?"

"Um, when Beach and I started dating, I shaved a sweet butt bald for fucking with me."

Before I could help it I giggled. "Right. Well those were adult fucked up situations. You won't be like that around your child because you're their blood. Think about the way the baby cousins flock to you for cuddles. They love you and you're so good with them."

"Mom was good with us when we were young, loved and protected us...then look what happened. That could be me if I'm not careful."

I wanted to go and hunt down my mother right now for screwing my sister up so much that she was afraid to love her child.

"You won't. You aren't, and you never will be like that bitch." I held her head between my hands and made Sara look at me, noting how dark the circles under her eyes were. "You would never do this to anyone, let alone your child."

She blinked back some tears and her lower lip trembled, but she nodded. "You're right."

A knock came from the door and Smoke said, "We need you out here."

"Be right there," I yelled back.

"Beach is going to hate me," she suddenly whispered, her face ashen. "Even though he says he loves me, he's going to hate me for endangering his child."

I shook my head at her. "God you're an idiot sometimes."

That brought some color back to her cheeks. "What?"

"Look at you! Fuck, woman, you faced down bikers and the mafia, then managed to save the goddamn world by yourself. You're a fucking superhero. Any child would be blessed to have you as a mom. Your past is just that, your past. And when did Sarah Anderson, Playboy Centerfold, Pole Dancing Champion, and Ice Dancing Junior Queen of Nevada give a fuck what anyone thinks of her?"

"When those two pink lines came up on the pregnancy test."

There was another knock on the door and we opened it to a scowling Hulk. "Hate to interrupt your tea party, but you have some people waiting on you."

After turning off the shower, Sarah slipped her hand into mine and we walked out of the bathroom together to face the waiting crowd of men. There was a collective gasp from the group staring at us as we stood before them. I had to resist the urge to roll my eyes as everyone did the back-and-forth thing, comparing me to Sarah and vice versa, as they tried to wrap their minds around the idea that we really were identical twins. Khan broke the silence first with a growl as he took a step forward and picked Sarah up, twirling her around before setting her on her feet again with a loud, smacking kiss on her cheek.

"You scared ten fuckin' years off my life! Where the fuck have you been? Why didn't you come to me?"

She darted a glance around the room, but bitch Sarah was rising to the surface and I watched as my sister swiftly rebuilt the walls between her heart and the rest of the world. "That would require trust, and you know I don't trust anyone except Beach and my family."

I expected Khan to be angry, but he just shook his head. "Should've come to me, trust or not."

Smoke moved behind me, and I gratefully relaxed into his arms. He touched me softly to reassure himself that I was okay while I did the same, stroking the fine hair on his arms. His scent enveloped me, and my body relaxed into his safety.

The wild look in Sarah's eyes eased as she took in the sight of Smoke wrapped around me. "My goal, Khan, is to stay alive. I will do whatever it takes to make that happen. As will my sister. It's how we were raised."

My dad had done his best to catch my sister up on my training, but she preferred to fight with him rather than do some of the more crazy stuff. I was a huge fan of Sarah telling my dad off and getting her way, because that meant I didn't have to do some of the bullshit I hated. Like mountain climbers. If I never did another fucking mountain climber in my life it would be too soon. Sarah was super strong when we were teenagers-she did competitive ice skating-and she could march my dad into the ground, but if she didn't want to do it, so she wouldn't. Drove my dad bug fuck, but I think Mimi was proud that Sarah stood up for herself-and me. It was after her first confrontation with our dad where she came out the winner-we didn't have to spend the night in the snow with no tent-that I began to open up to her and our friendship began.

I wanted those days when we were tight back, and I could feel like she was one of my best friends again.

Smoke, ever aware of my mood, leaned down and whispered, "She's not leaving our side tonight until Beach gets here. I'll sleep in the chair, but I want you two in bed and tucked in."

Was I a horrible person because for one brief instant I was sad Smoke and I wouldn't be able to physically reconnect? Then I looked at my sister, and I couldn't imagine letting her leave my sight. It was going to be hard to let her go, but I'm sure Beach was just about insane with worry at this point, and I wasn't getting in his way once he arrived. Even if she'd been calling him once a day, I'm sure Beach had been ready to tear his hair out with worry. For all I knew, the psycho could be on his way via private helicopter.

Smoke's phone beeped, and as he read the text, the corner of his lip curved up in a grin. "Beach will be here in two hours. He says he wants to talk to you in person."