66.

What Came Later Belies the purity of that first night.

Time crept by in slow motion, and I felt a million miles away.

I watched the two of them dozing, father and mother/daughter, until weariness weighted my eyes.

I slipped into the river of their breathing, floated in the current of Daddy's all-encompassing need.

I fell asleep, thinking about Daddy kissing Kaeleigh, craving his kiss, understanding its significance.

We unraveled that night, and I don't think things can ever be put right again. Sad, that lives can be shattered, into so many pieces that they can never be put back together, by the relentless force of love.

Irreparable.

67.

Kaeleigh Can't Believe I got the lead in Grease, the winter musical.

I'm a pretty good actress, but my dance is rusty and my singing, well...

I watched as Ms. Cavendish posted the cast list. Everyone gathered around the bulletin board, exhaling loudly.

I slipped in between Ian and Shelby to get a better look.

Sorry you didn't make it, poked Shelby. Stupid me, I fell for it, until she and Ian cracked up.

"You may be sorry I did make it."

I broke into an off-key rendition of "Fame."

We unraveled into a giant fit of laughter. People stared, including Madison, who got a big part too. The look she gave me shattered any idea that this play might be fun after all. The slim chance rehearsals might go smoothly shredded.

Irreparable.

68.

Drama Is Last Block On Tuesdays and Thursdays. Today, however, being Friday, last block is PE. I wish I would've opted for modern dance.

Instead I'm dressed out for volleyball. And lucky me, my dear friend Madison is across the net, getting ready to serve.

Even better, I'm in front, where I can't miss the vile promise in her eyes: I'm gonna ram this ball right down your throat.

Fortunately, her anger sends the ball clear out of bounds. We rotate, and it's my turn to serve. Madison moves left one slot.

I swear, even from here, I can see the steam rising off her.

Whoo-ee, is she hot! I shouldn't let it bother me, but it does.

I serve into the net.

Side-out!

yells Madison, and my teammates groan. "Sorry," I try. "It slipped." Okay, lame excuse.

Here comes the ball again. Long volley. On the far side of the net, Serena sets up. Madison spikes. Damn! The sucker **

slams right into my chest, bounces undeniably out of bounds.

Madison smiles.

Too bad you don't have much padding there.

Everyone laughs. My face flashes, hot. But for once the perfect retort comes to mind immediately. Love when that happens.

"Yeah, well, I guess you're right. I don't have much padding, but at least what I've got is all mine, not Victoria's."

69.

Victoria?

Madison stops. Thinks. Gets a "duh" look on her face. Shakes her head and I've got her.

Who's Victoria?

I don't know. But she's got a secret. And you're wearing it.

Oh, wait. Let me look again. Never mind. Can't be Victoria's **

Secret. Anything that lumpy must have come from Wal-Mart.

Wait, wait. Not even Wal-Mart. More like Salvation Army.

Wha...? Hmph! You shut the fuck up, bitch!

Madison storms off, intensely pissed. A chorus of howls follows her.

70.

Not Sure Why I felt the need to provoke her.

She and her inner circle carry a lot of weight around here.

I'm just sick of that pissy look, the off-the-wall snipes. I had nothing to do with her problems **

with Mick. What wasn't her being a bitch was him, being a creep. All I am is fallout.

The bell rings.

Okay, girls!

yells Ms. Petrie.

Hit the showers!

Showers. Oh, goody. Can't wait.

Yeah, I'm dripping sweat. It's not what you might call fragrant.

Not good fragrant, anyway.

But public showering is my least favorite thing about PE, and considering I hate PE, **

that says a lot. Ugh! Stripping down to skin and hair, showing everything to everyone else.

71.

That includes Ms. Petrie, our elderly PE teacher, who seems more interested in our hygiene **

than in our physical fitness.

The one job she takes seriously is making sure we shower.

It's kind of creepy, although I suppose some people might never de-sweat without a Ms. Petrie **

to check up on them. Anyway, today I want to make sure Madison is scrubbed and dressed before **

I even look at the shower. I help Ms. Petrie bring in the balls and nets.

By the time I shed my shorts **