and lather up, the locker room is mostly empty. The final bell rings and I'm still underwater.

When I exit, hair dripping, out the double doors, I'm mortified to find the bus has already gone.

72.

I Need to Get My License I've been old enough for months.

Problem is, you need a parent to sign off for you. And I do not have the luxury of parents who are able or willing to do that for me.

Mom is always traveling. She only drops by long enough to pick up a change of clothes and maybe, if we're very, very lucky, share a meal. She has completely forgotten what being a mother means.

Kitchen duty and housework fall mostly on Manuela, who comes in three times a week to do laundry, dust and vacuum, cook and freeze meals.

As for Daddy, well, he pretty much works from early morning until the sun creeps toward the western horizon. The closest DMV is in Lompoc, a half hour from here. Closed Saturdays.

Not that Daddy is likely to let me have my license anyway. A car means escape. And I'm pretty sure he plans to keep me his prisoner forever.

73.

The More Immediate Problem is I need a ride home and the parking lot is deserted. Everyone bails as soon as the last bell rings. Walking home **

isn't impossible, but it's five miles away.

Who can I call? Ian, of course. But his cell rings four times, goes to voice mail.

I try Shelby. Katrina. Lisa. Danette. No luck.

Everyone's busy, grounded, unavailable, or simply not picking up.

Just as I think I'll have to walk after all, a black Charger draws even, window lowering.

Something wrong?

It's Mr. Lawler.

Kind of. I missed the bus. I've called everyone I know but can't seem to find a ride home."

Hop in. I'll take you. I'm going that way.

Does he know where I live? I give the parking lot another scan. He smiles at my hesitation.

What? Don't tell me you don't trust me?

74.

Not at All You can't trust a man, any man, any more than you can put your faith in a rabid dog, not even your own dog, one who would never hurt you, except he's rabid.

Not sure why I believe that.

But I solidly do. I've seen guys act like they are just so in love with their girl- of-the-moment, only to turn around and dump her cold.

And as for adult men, men who should not look twice at someone half their age, well that rarely turns out to be their MO.

No, their method of operation is to hang out their tongues and pant.

75.

To Be Fair I haven't seen Mr. Lawler actually pant. And the only time I've seen his tongue **

is when I've bothered to look.

So I say, "Of course I trust you. Thanks for offering."

And mostly against my better judgment, I open the door, slip into the shelter of his car.

Promise not to tell, okay?

I could get into all kinds of trouble, you know.

My turn to smile.

"What? For rescuing a damsel in distress?"

For others' perceptions.

But I promise to be the perfect gentleman.

He turns toward town, drives cautiously, completely the perfect gentleman.

76.

Some Girls I Know Talk about Mr. Lawler like he's on their "available" list or some- thing. He's not married, at least I don't think so. I guess he could be closet married, but why bother?

Teachers and students?

Absolutely taboo! If I could ever get past my private taboo, I'd have to call Mr. Lawler "cute." But how could I get beyond the fact that he's almost as old as Daddy? And yet, as we drive along, I find myself moving closer to him, pretending I can't quite hear what he's saying with his frothy, smooth cappuccino voice. One time in class a couple of weeks ago, he was lecturing about immigration.

I was lost in reverie about the night before, and when Mr. Lawler called on me, I almost answered, "Yes, Daddy?"

77.

Raeanne Kind of Funny Watching Lawler and Kaeleigh pull up at the house together.

I don't think I've ever seen her alone with a grown man (well, except for Daddy and he doesn't count).

Maybe I need to miss the bus. If I could ever find a good excuse to get Lawler alone, he would discover a different Gardella girl, one who could easily get beyond not only his age, but also any stupid notion of impropriety.

I would never act like Kaeleigh, craving his proximity, his touch, yet pretending not to notice the cut of his silk trousers, the way his biceps fill his tailored shirtsleeves. Even from a distance, I could tell he was interested in more than just giving her a ride home. She should consider it. After all, there happen to be better men out there than Daddy.

78.

Other Men, Anyway A whole big, giant world, full of men. Men with blue eyes.

Brown eyes. Green eyes. And indescribable shades in between. Tall men. Short men. Skinny men.

Built men. And all combinations thereof. Nice men (so I've heard, but never really seen). Mean men. Decent men, indecent.

And who knows which is the best kind to have, to hold, to love?

I'd say, with so many men in the world, it would pay to sample a few. Scratch that. More than a few. Lots and lots. And then a few more. And maybe, after years and years of research, taste testing, and trying 'em on for size, just maybe, you might find one worth not throwing back.

But hey, the fun is in the fishing.

79.

Kaeleigh's Not into Fishing Too much effort, too few rewards.

Watching her work Daddy now, you'd think she reeled in the big one.