"You always have before."

Sorry. I don't want to be pieces of me anymore. I have to take care of myself.

"Seeing, my dear, is believing."

539.

I'm Deep into Conversation With one of me when Daddy walks through the door. He looks around.

Who are you talking to?

"Uh. No one. Myself, I guess."

My belly starts cartwheeling.

People will think you're crazy.

Fuck, Daddy. I am crazy.

"I know. I'm sorry, Daddy."

I just got a call from your mother.

I'm going to throw up.

"I thought she should know."

I.

told her we can handle this.

No! No! No! "I want her here, Daddy. I need her."

You're not three, Kaeleigh.

"No. I'll never be a little girl again.

You took that away from me."

I'm sure I don't know what you mean.

540.

Wow, Ballsy I can't believe I found the nerve to say that much. But I can't believe he told Mom not to come.

They're releasing you tomorrow.

I'll take the day off to bring you home.

Then we'll have to discuss our options.

"Options?" What options? Back to school, back to work, back to...

Oh my God. How can I go back?

I.

can't have you getting stoned and running around like a tramp. Your reputation may be trashed, but...

"My reputation?

That's what you're worried about? What the fuck is wrong with you, Daddy? You need help."

Don't you dare talk to me like that.

He stalks over to the bed, raises his arm, and just as it starts to fall...

I.

wouldn't do that if I were you, sir.

Carol.

I'm afraid I'd have to report you for child abuse.

541.

Daddy spins to face her, anger leaking from his pores like sweat.

I.

know the law. Don t recite it to me.

Artfully, Carol maneuvers between Daddy and me.

I'm afraid your blood work indicated a problem, Kaeleigh.

We'll need to keep you an extra day or two, to run a few tests. Sorry.

I know you wanted to go home.

Daddy backs up a few steps.

Problem? What kind of problem?

She isn't pregnant, is she?

Carol's grin is sardonic.

Funny place for you to go first. No, we've found an electrolyte imbalance.

It's probably from all the vomiting she's been doing, but we want to test her for kidney disease.

Phew. Saved by possible kidney disease. At least for a couple of days.

Hey, wait. Kidney disease?

542.

Turns Out The electrolyte imbalance is real, the result of not only puking from Oxy withdrawal, but also **

the binge-and-purge cycle that my alter and I seem to have shared.

Speaking of bingeing, I'm starving.

"You eat. I'll throw it up. You'd be a regular oinker if not for me."

They weren't really worried about kidney disease. Carol just used that as an excuse to keep me here.

"She's a real pal. What she's really after is dissecting our psyche."

If I let her into my head, maybe she can make you frigging disappear.

I'm sick of listening to you.

"Well, then, you go away and let me out.

I want to play. And I need to get high."

I want so much to talk to Carol.

But I'm not even sure where to begin.

Drug abuse. Alcohol, Bulimia...

543.