I know they say marijuana isn't addictive, not like speed or heroin, which claw into you and won't let go.

Pot is more of a sweet talker, and I'm all over that sexy voice. I went Saturday without it, but by yesterday afternoon, **

I was getting antsy. I called Mick, asked him to pick me up after church.

Yes, I sometimes sneak off to Sunday **

services, always in need of forgiveness, if not always exactly sure why. Freshly forgiven, I was eager for corruption.

Okay, I'll come get you, he said.

But not if you're gonna fuck off on me. What was that about?

Not like we're exclusive, or have ever pretended to be. But the dope was calling. Had to play contrite.

123.

even if it isn't my best game. "Sorry.

Guess I was jealous of Madison and wanted to make you jealous too."

Yeah, well, I could have screwed her Friday night too. I didn't, even though she wanted to.

Zing! Off went a flare in my head.

My temper [ature] started to rise.

I kept it in check. "Obviously."

Anyway, Madison says you see other guys all the time. Friday kind of proved that, didn't it?

Okay, I was starting to lose it.

"That's just bullshit! If she doesn't watch her effing mouth, I'll..."

He waited for me to finish it, but when all I could do was stammer, he asked, You'll what?

"Kick her ass."

124.

But Kicking Ass Could definitely be a double-edged sword. Not that I've ever tried it.

But I can see how getting physical could relieve some tension, at least in the short run. Hauling off, letting my fists fly, and feeling them connect with her surprised face just might **

make me feel a whole lot better.

That is, until the inevitable fallout.

Suspension for sure. Restitution, possibly. Maybe lockup? I could even find myself in my dear old daddy's court.

No, the more I think about it, the more I believe there has to be a subtle yet satisfying method of revenge.

125.

I Just Have to Find It And that might take a while.

Patience? Not my best thing.

I make it through Contemporary Lit, still puzzling over it.

Spanish II.

Si, quiero venganza.

I want revenge.

I am on my way to history when opportunity falls **

smack in my lap, a la a quick bathroom break.

As I start toward the girls'

room, I notice Madison **

ahead of me. She reaches into her purse, roots inside.

She glances around, but doesn't see me watch her **

extract a tampon, palm it, and step through the door.

I can wait to pee. And now I've got my ammunition.

126.

I'll Have to Wait to Use It, Though First I have to get through history.

I sit in my usual seat in back, by the window, as Mr. Lawler passes out last week's essays.

I can't help but notice how he moves with feline grace.

A big cat. Jaguar, maybe.

Or a tiger. Secure within his stripes.

Pinstripes, actually, on dark trousers, snug at the waist and across his hips, before falling loosely down over his thighs.

And just as my disgusting brain gloms onto a sick image of what those thighs look like, his voice descends.

Interesting piece of writing.

I'd like to discuss it further.

Can you wait after class, or come in at lunch?

Interesting, good? Or bad?

My eyes drop, focusing on a large red A at the top of my paper. Apparently, good. "Let's do lunch."

127.

Doing Lunch With Mr. Lawler will postpone exacting revenge. Lunch would **

have been a great venue for what I've got in mind. Instead I'll wait **

for drama--not my class, but I'll go to watch Kaeleigh rehearse.

At least, that will be my excuse.

Madison will be there too.

And anyway, lunch with Mr. Lawler and his pinstripes could prove quite **

interesting. Sheesh. Sometimes I turn into a major vamp. It's a fun game.

I'm all into games, distractions from the day-to-day crap. All vamp, **

I open Mr. Lawler's door. "Ready for me?" His smile tells me definitely.

Come on in. I'm just finishing up here. Have a seat.

He gestures **

to a chair beside his desk, scribbles something in his grade book, 128.

and finally looks me in the eye.

I'm fascinated with your take **

on the Scopes trial. How did you arrive at your conclusions?

I outline my research, add a bit about my father and his take on **

this sensational piece of history-- how different attorneys might have **

made different arguments, the court might have allowed the jury to **

sentence Scopes, and the Bible might have been the only source **

for schoolchildren for many years to come. Hard to believe they were **

such cretins in 1925, jailing a high school teacher for offering evolution **