Our lunch arrived, and he continued to tell me about his trip.

"My last stop was Thailand. It's a beautiful place, but there's a weird juxtaposition. In some areas, it's so shitty. You feel like every kind of perversion is for sale. But other regions are an unspoiled paradise, and the Thai people are modest and spiritual."

"You're so philosophical. Most guys go there to party on the beach."

"Well, we did our share of beach parties. Some places, you could still see the effects of the tsunami too-new buildings and construction. Being on a beautiful beach with the moon lighting up the white sand, it was amazing." He looked up at me. "What are you smiling about?"

"I don't know. When you get all excited about stuff, it's cute. It reminds me of when we were kids and you'd convince me to partake in some crazy adventure."

He chuckled. "They all turned out, didn't they?"

"Oh sure. I think I still have scars on my knee from that mountain bike obstacle course thing."

"Hey, I also piggy-backed you home and bandaged up your legs that day."

"Was that out of friendship, or worry that my mom would kill you?"

"Maybe I just wanted to play doctor." Phil's voice was slightly hoarse as he shifted gears. "I take it that the fact you had to pretend you have a boyfriend means you don't actually have a boyfriend."

"Ummm," I replied smoothly. Was I dating Jimmy now? I hadn't agreed to that yet, but I was sure that he would consider we had some kind of commitment. Still, I didn't want to spoil this lunch.

"You know, Kelly, this is how I always hoped things would be. You and me, together in the same city after we graduated. I think we've both changed since high school, but it's our chance to see how we work. It's real life now. We're not kids anymore." He focused on my face and smiled. "I'm already feeling very good about this."

Suddenly it occurred to me that Phil was the missing piece. It wasn't that I didn't care about Jimmy, but more that I felt that I couldn't decide for some reason. Now that Phil was here, all the puzzle pieces were finally in the box.

"Was this the ring I gave you?" He took my hand in his and examined my cubic zirconia more closely. "If it was a real diamond, it would be worth a lot. But not the setting I would have chosen for you."

"Really? Maybe a puzzle ring?"

"No, I would have gotten something more modern, a plain gold setting, with a solitaire." Weirdly, it sounded like this was something he had thought about. "So, what else did you tell them about your wonderful fiance?"

"Ha. Well, they could see your photo, so they knew you were tall, dark and-" I paused; I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction. "Not a total beast."

Phil laughed. "So Kelly, you want to go out for dinner tonight? And I could use a date to my parent's big anniversary shindig on the weekend. I think you owe me big for being your fake fiance."

"I owe you? You didn't have to do a thing."

"My photo is on your desk, and my reputation is on the line. Now everyone in Vancouver thinks I'm the marrying kind of guy. From now on, my first dates will be littered with wedding magazines and china patterns. I'm doomed!"

I started giggling, yet inside I felt uneasy. Being with Phil again was so much fun. But when I saw Jimmy, he had stirred a lot of warm feelings in me. How could I be attracted to both of them at the same time? And what was I going to do?

When I returned to the office, things were back to normal. Brian came by to talk to me after his show ended.

"Uh, big oops, Kelly. So you really do have a fiance, even if he is a cheap bastard. You should have held out for a real diamond at least. Did he tell you it was a fake?"

I found it deeply ironic that now that I was ready to tell the truth, nobody was going to believe me. Given that I was interested in dating again, it was time to be single. However, it would be too mind-boggling to explain that I was dating my ex-fiance.

I dropped into Cheryl's office. Her desk was perfectly clean now, and she beamed at me.

"Did you and Phil have a nice lunch?"

"Er, yes, great."

"What an adorable couple you are."

"Well, about that, I have to tell you-I'm not really engaged."

She gave me a blank stare, and then her eyebrows knotted in concern. "Oh Kelly, I'm so sorry. He broke up with you? And on your lunch hour, that's rather heartless. Did you want to take the rest of the day off?" She reached out to pat my hand.

"No, no, that's not it at all." I took a deep breath. "Okay, this started way back. Remember my friend, Karen? She warned me that the guys were really a pain here, and we decided that if I pretended to be engaged it would make things easier."

Cheryl looked at me with one eye closed. "I have to admit, that's rather clever. It did seem to work. So why are you confessing this now? Phil seemed fine with the deception-rather happy, actually."

This was even harder to explain. "Well, I'm sick of lying about it. And now I think I'd like to start actually dating and not have to worry about running into anyone from work."

She nodded. "I think I understand. Dating someone other than Phil."

"Sort of. I'll probably be dating Phil. But, um, other people too."

Cheryl frowned at me. "You young people have more complicated lives than I ever did. But your personal life isn't really our business. As long as you continue to do a good job here, that'll be fine."

Complicated? She had no idea. Unfortunately, neither did I.

11.

The Dating Game

"You know, I've never been a big believer in fate," I told April. "But I think that all the craziness in the past week has occurred for a reason."

She snorted. "And that reason is to make every other woman in Vancouver realize how much her social life sucks."

"Oh, don't start with me. How many dates do you have this weekend?"

April made a noise that sounded a lot like a purr. "Only two. But I'm going for dinner at Tojo's on Friday. It's a double treat. The best Japanese food in town, and I miss your night to cook."

"Oh, burn. Anyway, I was complaining about how much my personal life sucked, and suddenly-bam-the two most important guys in my life are back. It's an amazing opportunity. But how do I decide?"

"Yeah, it's so difficult. Should you take the totally hot guy with a good future ahead of him or the guy with a great body and oodles of money? A quandary, for sure."

"But the thing is-I've changed, and presumably they've changed too. So I can't do some dumb pros and cons sheet."

"Cage match?" April suggested.

"No, I'm going to date them both and then decide."

"Ooooh, it's the final round of The Bachelorette! I like it," April declared. "Only one problem."

"I know what you're going to say," I sighed.

"Take two insanely competitive, testosterone-charged guys and ask them to share nicely? That's going to work."

"No, I figure they're both going to say no. It feels conceited to even suggest this." I shook my head. "But honestly, I can't make up my mind. When I see James, I'm so drawn to him. Then I'm with Phil, and I'm laughing and having fun. They'll probably both tell me to take a hike."

That would make my life simpler, but it would also take the decision out of my hands. Jimmy was pushing me to take charge of my own life and not go along with the tide. Of course, he didn't realize this advice would be used against him.

April dropped her teasing tone. "I don't think you have to worry. You always underestimate yourself. You're very charismatic."

"Moi?" No way.

"Of course. You're fun and charming-but elusive. You've got so much energy and so many things on, that you're always too busy to stop for long. People bask in your full attention and want more of it. You're like a drug."

I stared at her, dumbfounded. This was not how I saw myself. I had a sense of being apart, but that was because I didn't quite fit in: a tomboy when it wasn't cool, a jock among smarter people, a girl playing against boys.

She laughed at me. "Surely, it must have occurred to you when you became captain of your hockey team-that you were someone people would follow?"

"I know I work hard. That's what the coach wanted to promote."

"Think about it, Kelly. You'll see I make sense." She changed back into her flippant self. "How are you going to break the idea to your Romeos?"

"I thought I'd have them both over for dinner, and then when everyone is feeling mellow afterwards, I could suggest it."

"Hmm, that's smart. They'll be paralyzed after eating your cooking and unable to hurt each other."

"April! You liked my spaghetti last week."

"Uh, yes. But didn't it come directly from a jar?"

"No, I added hamburger. That's something like cooking, isn't it?"

"That pretty much describes your culinary skills, 'something like cooking.'"

"So, you're out on Friday? That's when I'm planning this dinner because Jimmy's flying in that day." Would April's presence make things better or worse? I was pretty sure that she had already picked sides, and I didn't want to be influenced by her.

"Great, that gives me time to hide anything fragile. Make them take the fight outside."

"There's not going to be a fight," I protested. Anyway, if there was anyone they'd want to kill, it would be me.

"What the fuck is he doing here?"

Both of them spoke simultaneously when they saw each other, although only one of them swore. They were sitting in the living room across from each other.

"I have something I want to discuss with you two, and I thought it would be easier this way. Beer, anyone?"

There was a glaring contest going on, so I stuck beers in front of each of them, went to the kitchen and finished the salad. I was good at salads; even April would admit that. There was no conversation coming from the other room, so I figured we might as well eat.

"Did you want to come in here and help yourselves?" I called out, but my voice quavered. I needed to be more confident tonight or this whole thing wouldn't work. Phil and Jimmy came in, and they took up all the space in the kitchen.

"You made dinner?" Phil asked, looking around the kitchen.

"Well, it's just spaghetti. You know, from a bottle. But with hamburger." Luckily, April was not here to insult my cooking.

"I'm sure whatever you made will be delicious," Jimmy assured me.

"It's like you don't even know her," Phil snorted. "Not that I'm surprised."

After the world's quietest meal, I cleared my throat. Eating my cooking didn't seem to have made anyone happier, but on the plus side, nobody was paralyzed.

"Well, the reason that I invited you here is that it's such a weird coincidence that you both showed up in my life in the same week...."

I faltered, but nobody else seemed to find this interesting. "Anyway, you both said you're interested in dating again, um, I mean dating me again." Duh, Kelly, it wasn't like they wanted to date each other. "And you're such great guys, that I can't make up my mind. So, maybe the best thing would be to date-you know, casually, this summer. What do you think?"

Phil was first up. "Are you kidding me? You want to go out with me and him at the same time? I don't even get why you want to get back with this asshole after the way he hurt you."

"Excuse me? I think Kelly's issues around commitment stem from the way you treated her," Jimmy said.

I broke in. "You know, as much fun as it is to tear apart my psyche, can we concentrate on the dating idea? It's kind of like the old days when people played the field before going steady." Great, now I was quoting my dad.

"I don't know, Kelly," Jimmy said. "It's pretty weird."

For once they were in agreement. Phil nodded. "It's emasculating."

Jimmy frowned at me. "Why can't you just make up your mind? Last weekend, I thought all you needed was time to get used to the idea, and then we were going to get back together."

"Yeah, but then something better came along," Phil said.

"Really? Well, if you're so much better, how come Kelly didn't just pick you?"