"Got out a little earlier. Good behavior. Not going back. I'm in a program. Getting my life on track for real. Tired of living behind bars. How's my daughter?"

I cut my eyes at him. "She's fine."

"I want to see her as soon as I get myself together."

"That looks like it might be a while," I say too soon. I'm watching the door. It's now pouring down again. "Anyway, it was nice seeing you, Russell."

"Nice seeing you, too, Tiger Lady."

"What did you just call me?"

He smiles. It's wicked and sinister.

I'm trying to figure out how in the world this bastard knows my screen name. "What do you know about any Tiger Lady, Russell?"

"I'd say it was you," he says, sipping the foam off the top of his drink and peering at me with those big black eyes.

"And who might you be?"

"I'm Rough-n-Ready, baby. It's so nice to finally meet you in person."

I almost don't know what to say. I remember getting an icebreaker from a Rough-n-Ready a couple of months ago but I don't think he ever attached his photo. Now I know why. "This isn't cute, Russell. You're too old to be playing these kinds of games."

"It was all in good fun. I like your picture. You're still looking watermelon sweet. Seriously though. My being in here. Purely coincidental."

"Well, don't let me stop you from leaving. I'm waiting for someone and I certainly don't want him to have to meet you."

He looks at his cheap watch. "What time is he supposed to be here?"

"None of your business."

He then acts like he wants to bend down to give me a kiss. I push myself deeper into a corner like he's about to electrocute me.

"It's like that then, huh? Well, maybe I'll see you around or give you another wink, Tiger Lady."

He has the nerve to wink at me. And off he goes. I wait until I think he's in the parking lot before looking out the window. I see him run through the rain and get in his ugly car that's some color and make I don't recognize. I sit here for ten more minutes. My real phone rings.

"I thought I'd give you guys a five-minute window. So is everything cool?" Savannah asks.

"He's not here yet."

"Has he called or anything?"

"Nope. Not yet."

"He'll be there. It's pouring, as you no doubt can see."

"Girl, you will never in a million years guess who I just ran into."

"Russell."

"How'd you guess?"

"It's always the ex. You should know that by now, Robin."

"Anyway, he's still a poor excuse for a man, but let me go in case Dark Angel walks in."

"Have fun," she says.

I order a non-fat mocha Frappucino with no whip and sip on it for the next fifteen minutes until Bernie calls.

"Is it an emergency or not?"

"He hasn't shown up."

"Not even a phone call?"

"Not yet."

"Then I'd leave. Get up right now and get the hell out of there."

"It's raining too hard."

"Well, as soon as it lets up some, get your ass in that Porsche and beeline it home and delete this bastard from whatever you call that wish list."

"Whatever." I felt like saying, "I'm driving a black Honda Civic hybrid," which sounds like it would've rolled right off my tongue. I sit for another five or ten minutes, then chuck the empty Ethos bottle into the receptacle and walk out into the downpour. Some men really try too hard to ruin your life. And none of this bullshit is worth the price of admission.

Things Couldn't Be Better

Bernadine is on her way to meet John at a stable where Taylor takes riding lessons and boards her horse. He bought her a new saddle and wants to surprise her since her grades were so good, considering the circumstances. She is, after all, headed for high school in September and he hopes this saddle will serve as an incentive for her to continue doing well. Yesterday, he sent Bernadine a text message and said he wanted to talk to her about Taylor and a few other things. Would she mind meeting him out here? Bernadine didn't have any other plans. The forecast called for a dry afternoon, and she loves the drive.

She turns the volume up on the radio when she hears Macy Gray singing "Get Up and Do Something." She couldn't agree more. Three days ago Bernadine decided the only pill she was going to take was the antidepressant. She wanted to see how long she could go before feeling any withdrawal symptoms. The longest she's gone without Xanax is two days. She normally took one in a twenty-four-hour period-two, tops, and the lowest dose. The only time she has trouble falling asleep is when she's got a lot on her mind. Usually money issues.

She's through playing this game of hide-'n'-go-seek with herself and from herself. She does not feel any better. The past is still the past. Now her friends are able to tell when she's on something. It didn't used to be this way. They've lost patience with her. They're tired of feeling sorry for her, tired of her drone. She doesn't blame them one bit.

It would be so much easier if she could just stop hating James, but she can't. If she could forget all that happened, but she can't. She doesn't know where to put the past. And the lingering pain. Doesn't know what to do with either one. Whatever it takes to free herself, she's willing to do it. After their marriage was annulled she had no reason to be in touch with him but she called him, hoping he would at least apologize for what he'd done. She just wanted to hear him say "I'm sorry." She didn't care if he didn't mean it. But his cell phone was disconnected. She wrote him a nasty letter thinking it would make her feel better. It didn't. It came back undeliverable. She has never heard from James since.

Her cell phone starts vibrating, moves across the seat and falls on the floor. Bernadine can't reach it so she pulls off the two-lane road onto the gravel shoulder. She puts on her flashers. When she reaches to pick up the phone it feels like something is suddenly spinning inside her head. Shit. She takes a deep breath, exhales quickly. It's John Jr. She presses TALK. "Hi, baby! This is quite a nice surprise. Why are you calling me in the middle of the day? What's going on?"

"I've got some very good news, Mom."

"I love good news," Bernadine says and turns the radio down. She pulls back onto the road. Within minutes, she sees people riding on some of the trails.

"I'm going to be a father."

"You're going to be a what?"

"A dad. And Bronwyn and I are getting married."

"Married? When?"

"In three weeks."

"Three . . . wha-" Bernadine is speechless. She knows Bronwyn has been in the picture since last year and John Jr. is crazy about her, but he'd been crazy about fifteen other girls, too, so Bernadine thought she'd just been added to the list. But maybe one finally stuck. Even still, a baby? You don't just call your mother on the phone without any advance notice and say, guess what, I'm going to be a father and somebody's husband. Didn't he just leave for college a few weeks ago?

"Anyway, we're coming home for the nuptials. I'm going to put my thesis on hold. Bronwyn's going to keep working on her dissertation. Don't ask, Mom. I'll let you know all the details when we get there. Aren't you happy for me? Don't you think this is outstanding news?"

"Well, of course it is, JJ, but there's so much going on right now around here, I just wasn't expecting anything like this when I picked up the phone. But you certainly sound happy about this, and that's good enough for me."

"I'm ecstatic, Mom. I've loved Bronwyn from the moment I met her, as corny as it sounds. I want her to be my wife and the mother of my children, and I want to be her husband."

"It sounds wonderful, JJ. Just wonderful. Where do you two plan on living?"

"Well, that's another reason I'm calling. We wanted to know if we could possibly stay with you for a month or so, until we get our finances squared away and I find a job-which shouldn't be a problem-and it would give us a little time to spend with you, Grandma-to-be, plus, we want to look around to see where it might be best to raise our child. You know what I mean? Is this doable, Mom?"

Bernadine wants to say, "What the hell is going on in the universe! Let's just turn this into the Little Old Lady Who Lived in the Frigging Shoe. Everybody can move right on in: my ex-husband's child, my son and his fiancee, my unborn grandchild. Am I leaving anybody out?" What she does say is, "Of course it's doable, JJ, you're my son, and Bronwyn's going to be my daughter. So, tell me, how pregnant is she?"

"Ten weeks. It's so cool, Mom. She throws up and everything."

"That's just great. Have you told your dad?"

"Not yet. I thought I'd tell you first."

"You won't believe this, JJ, but I'm on my way to see your dad right now. He's waiting for me at the stable where they board Herman."

"What's going on?"

"He got Taylor a new saddle and he wants to talk about a few things, so I agreed to meet him out here. I can't believe you're going to be a father. And you're sure about this?"

"You should know me by now, Mom. When I say I'm sure, what does that mean?"

"You're sure. So, I'm going to be a grandmother."

"Get used to the idea," he says. "Look, Mom, I'm at the lab and have to close up, but we'll talk in the next day or so, is that okay?"

"Do you mind if I tell your dad?"

"By all means. Go right ahead."

"Quick question. What are you going to do about finishing school?"

"That's an easy one. I've already talked to department heads at ASU and U of A. A thesis is a thesis as long as it's publishable."

"Okay, then."

"Is everything going good out there with you?"

"Things couldn't be better."

"I'm glad to hear that, Mom. Have you been thinking about what you want to do now that Sweet Tooth is closed?"

"I've got a few ideas but I'll hold off talking about them until I do a little more research."

"Well, let me know if I can help in any way. Send a shout out to everybody and pop Onika for me. I heard she's going to be a camp counselor and she's in love."

"So she told you about Shy?"

"Mom, she's my sister. We grew up in the same house. I've known for years but it was her call. So I guess she finally felt safe."

"It was by accident."

"I don't need details. I just want to know if you're upset."

"It's not upsetting."

"So you're cool with it?"

"I'm cool with a lot of stuff, JJ."

"I know O must be relieved. What about Dad?"

"He doesn't know yet."

"How is it possible you know and he doesn't?"

"Onika hasn't seen him and it's not the kind of thing you tell your parent over the phone. I'm sure she'll tell him when she gets home."

"How do you think he'll take it?"

"I have no idea."

"I think he's going to freak at first, but he'll eventually come around. Plus, he doesn't have a choice. She is who she is. Anyway, you are the absolute coolest mom. Gotta scoot. Love you. Bronwyn sends some, too."

Bernadine clicks END. She's not sure if she's in shock or elated. She's going to be a grandmother? Is she old enough to be one? She decides to call John. When he answers, he sounds weird. There's a lot of noise in the background, like glass clinking or something. "John, are you at a bar?"

"Kind of."

"Are you drinking?"

"I've had a beer and will probably order another."

"I'm pulling into the parking lot but I don't see your car."

"I'm at the clubhouse. It's the green building. I ordered you a sparkling water with lime."