"You shouldn't be coming."

I sighed. "But you know you're not going to be able to convince me not to, so let's not waste time talking about it. Tell me what's going on."

His jaw clenched, then he looked over head shaking. "I don't know."

As we walking down the string of halls, I wanted more and more to reach ahead, just to hold onto him somehow. I could scarcely believe it when he matched this himself, reaching his hands behind his back to grab mine. We'd just come to a half open door. He latched my fingers around the cloth of his jacket then turned his head back just a fraction.

"Stay behind me, okay?"

My heart pounded. I couldn't see his face. I nodded. "Yeah."

Then he turned back ahead and pushed through the door.

Inside was a grayed-out, unadorned, room with very few windows. There were books to the right, a blank wall ahead. Disturbingly quiet besides a single penetrating voice. Thoran's.

I took a quivering breath, hands latched tightly to Jaden as he rounded the corner.

To the left now, I saw, was a larger space, high ceiling for the lodge. Again almost no furniture or decor. At least a dozen men stood in a circle at its center. I caught Ikovos first. He looked at me coming in but his attempt at a smile was lackluster. It made me darken further before we hit the edge. A few boys cleared to make a space for Jaden. Both were on the trip I'd taken to the Meoden dimension.

There were others there too. Almost all glanced once at us. Thoran did as well, pausing in his dialogue, which I just now realized I hadn't been registering a word of. I tried to lessen my hold on Jaden as his deep eyes turned to the boy.

"Is Tirk not with you?" His expression was serious, but calm.

Jaden have the slightest head shake. "He said he had a few more people to get."

Thoran's eye shifted to me, then back to Jaden. "And . . ."

Sophie stopped him then, putting a hand to his wrist and whispering something softly in his ear. Her distress was much more apparent, as was Cornelius's, who was standing at her other side.

When she'd finished Thoran looked back to Jaden, giving him a never-mind sort of look.

Good. I guess I'm not getting kicked out then. I spared a glance around.

All the faces were severe and uncertain. Whatever was happening I don't think anyone knew about it.

A voice came behind us then. "Here."

It was Tirk. Behind him followed a few others, Holdan included. He looked me over as they approached, fitting in beside us. Tirk ended up on Jaden's right. I was a bit back from the circle.

The room seemed to settle. Thoran took a breath. "Some of you already know what I'm about to tell you, most don't."

A few murmurs.

Derrith, who was standing to Thoran's left, looked around assertively.

He knew for certain.

Thoran continued firmly. "Communications with the Meoden have been cut, we-"

A buzz of whispers broke out, drowning out his voice. It was all I could do to study around. Jaden's expression was dark, but held as unrevealing as ever. Ikovos, who was about six guys over from us, was shaking his head to the question of a boy beside him.

"Please." Thoran's hand rose. The room fell silent. He cleared his throat, undeterred. "Now, this is due in no part at our decision. For days now we hadn't heard a word from them, and yesterday they never showed up at the meeting. If-"

"What does this mean?" interrupted Holdan, stepping forward. "Why would they risk dispute?"

Thoran regarded him tersely for a moment, then turned to addressing the rest of the group. "We can only assume that they're no longer interested in keeping the peace."

Holdan moved in again. "But how-"

Thoran put a hand up to him, obviously not big on the whole interruption thing, then he cleared his throat. "I can assure you all, we are not basing this on simple notion. We are also not jumping to any conclusions."

My eyes shifted from Ikovos to Jaden. They were my only clue to what was happening - I didn't know how dire it was or wasn't if communications stopped. Was this common or? . . . But both of their faces were severe.

"For the past few weeks now there have been signs leading us to suspect something was happening. First with the Meoden's diminishing patrols, then the new breed of creature me and Cornelius came across-" he looked down as irritated at his own lack of ability to piece this together sooner "-and finally Demian's unnaturally lenient compliance in our recent dealings."

Thoran stared hard about the room. "I would tell you that I believe it is not absurd to assume that they intend to declare war on us outright."

The room shuddered at the words.

"Please," he said, quieting everyone once again. "As I said before, it will not do us any good to worry about things we don't know for certain. . . . I simply wanted to give you an idea of what this might mean for the order."

The group of men resettled. I guess they were taking his suggestion to heart.

I was having a harder time with it. . . .

"At this point we will be doubling, if not tripling up on patrols, constant watch at the gates. All aides over fifteen will be recruited for external work. We'll focus on gathering information for now. And of course, above all, seeing to the safety of the lodge."

That means they're leaving.

My grip on the jacket tightened for the first time. Jaden's eyes hit me, head turning back. I immediately tried to compose my expression.

This was the thing I was most afraid of. This was what . . .

Thoran took a breath. "I regret that I do not have the time to discuss this further, for now at least. We have scheduled orders for those present, and more to pass along. Derrith has them written out. As he calls your name, please come up to receive them. That is all."

He backed off then and the room erupted with conversation.

Derrith called the first names right away. "Nick, Ikovos, and Kyle."

My chest shook, eyes shifting from Thoran, who was heading out of the room with Sophie beside him, to Ikovos. He was already walking up to Derrith.

The noise from the compound of voices was steadily rising, but I couldn't- "Caleb and Vaan."

My head turned to the coat I was clinging to. I couldn't see his face at all. I wanted to say something, to ask if it was going to be okay, to- "Holdan, Tirk, and Jaden." Derrith's eyes turned up as he said it. The other two headed over.

I stiffened. I didn't want to let go, but I knew any second he'd make me.

Then, hesitantly, his head turned to the side. As if he was going to say something to me. I felt a rush in my body, heartbeat all but halting.

Don't go.

His jaw clenched and he turned forward, pulling away without a word. My fingers grazed his back beneath the coat as he did, but he kept moving. I looked down at them now . . . empty.

My eyes closed and I swallowed, then I turned back up. I was being silly, he wouldn't be gone forever of anything. I shook my head out then looked around for Ikovos. He was already gone. The order must have been urgent of he would have . . .

I felt my knees getting weaker, the flurried room seeming utterly deserted.

"Evelyn," called Cornelius, striding up to me. "Oh, my dear . . . are you quite alright?"

"Oh . . . yes," I managed, putting a hand to my dizzy head and feeling ridiculous for losing it so easily. "Yes. I'm fine."

He pursed his features into a frown. "I'm sorry that that all came upon you so suddenly. How was the trip?"

My eyes grazed Jaden reflexively. He was still talking to Derrith. I nodded. "Good." I tried to refocus my attention to Cornelius, but the whole thing seemed so long ago now. "It was very good . . . we had to stay longer for the-"

"Parts," he finished. "Yes, Ikovos told me."

I smiled, but it almost immediately turned grim. "Cornelius, what's happening? I don't understand. Is everyone going to be okay? Will-"

He put his hands on my shoulders. "Calm, child, calm."

I sucked in a shuddered breath.

"I cannot say for sure what is happening . . . or that everything will be alright." He frowned as the men continued to shift about the room, continual names being called. "But I know that you must be strong now."

My eyes drifted over the faces of the boys, off to their important missions. "But what can I do?"

He sighed. "I know that you have learned a great deal in defending yourself. Thoran has said that if you wish we will assign you to a patrol route with some of the boys."

My heart rushed at the thought.

"But if you are willing . . ." his brow knit ". . . Sophie is leaving for a while, at least a few days. The younger boys here will be without a caretaker and with all the Masters gone they'll surely be afraid of what is happening. If you are willing, I would ask you to stay here with them . . ."

"And take over Sophie's duties?" I checked, jaw clenching.

"Yes." He nodded.

I paused.

He took in a small breath. "I know it is not what you came to do, but-"

"I'll do it," I said, head shaking. "Without question." He looked surprised. "I might be able to tag along with the patrols, but I wouldn't do much. I want to be able to help and I can cook at the least. . . . I'll do it."

He seemed to bubble over at the assertion.

"Thank you, my dear," he finally said.

My head bobbed. "Of course."

His lips pursed, recalling. "A few of the younger boys often help Sophie. If you ask, um . . . Lucas I think it is, he should be able to show you how everything is done."

Lucas . . . one of Trevor's friends that's always tagging around.

"Will you be able to find him alright?" he asked. I could tell he had other things to do, though he hid it well for my sake.

"Definitely." I nodded. "I know one of his friends."

Cornelius nodded too. "Good, you-"

"Master, I need you over here." Cornelius's head turned. It was Derrith.

He looked back at me, and I gave him a releasing gesture. He was with little more than a nod.

"Take over for Sophie, right, I can do this."

As my eyes followed the robed man unconsciously towards Derrith, I noticed something very, very wrong.

Jaden wasn't there anymore!

I spun around anxiously. He wasn't anywhere. First Ikovos, now him.

But you knew this was coming, Evelyn . . .

I let my fist tighten. You have to be strong, that's what Cornelius said.

With a heavy chest I marched out of the room, fiercely determined to help in any and every way I could.

Chapter 18.

Helpless "OKAY, GUYS, that's the last one, thanks for the help." I set the last pot onto the highest shelf inside the pantry.

For the past four days the lodge had been in upheaval. Not long after the meeting I'd slipped into, Thoran announced to all of the boys, the changes that would be taking place, leaving out only a few of the finer details. I thought they'd all taken it quite bravely to be honest . . . especially the younger ones.

As Cornelius had asked, I'd found Lucas directly after speaking with him. The young boy gave direction without complaint, taking me through all the steps of cooking breakfast, lunch, and dinner, as well as how to organize the laundry and cleaning.

Sophie really was amazing.

It wasn't so bad for me though. I had a lot of help. Trevor, Nathan, and Lucas were my almost-constant companions. A fact for which I was very grateful. All of the older boys were rarely here and when they did come, it was only to rest and eat.