How Dare You Make Me Feel This Way

They were already a few weeks in on their arrangement, when Matthias finally saw Leyla through his car window.

For the past few weeks, he had gotten acquainted with the sight of her lethargic state, always so expressionless and forlorn whenever it was just the two of them in the annex.

Whenever she arrived, she would dutifully undress herself for him, and wait patiently until they began. She always looked too exhausted, but so afraid of him whenever he would approach her. But the woman he saw now was different.

Outside from the confines of his room, she looked livelier than she'd been. She dressed respectably, and had an amicable smile on her face as she walked with a group of women roughly among her age. Among them was the same woman she came with during their picnic in Arvis. Mrs. Grever, if he remembered correctly.

Matthias couldn't help but narrow his eyes at her as he observed them. She looked thinner than she had been, but she no longer wore that haunted expression. She didn't carry a sullen and gloomy air around her peers, but rather a warm and sunny disposition. He could almost mistake her for a different woman.

He found himself torn whether he should rejoice she wasn't acting so helplessly outside of their meetings, or insulted by how well she was hiding their affair. Nonetheless, Matthias could respect her boundaries. If she wants to act like his mistress, he'll let her. Same as if she wanted to act as though she's a commonplace whore, he'd treat her as such too.

She has no one to blame for it but herself.

But despite that fact, he couldn't help but feel more affected whenever he would be forced to be rougher than usual with her. She took every insult, and every hurt he made her feel when they'd be together quietly and resolutely indifferent. And it made him feel strange whenever the night would be over, and he'd be left alone to his thoughts.

Lately, he found himself at a loss on how to deal with her. Matthias still felt the deep satisfaction of seeing her wince in pain and flush in embarrassment, that much hadn't changed between them. In fact, it gave him a sense of pride that she wasn't entirely indifferent to him.

What left him baffled was that whenever she would be on the verge of breaking down, as he'd learned to read by the way her lips quivered and eyes began to water, she'd take a deep breath, and no tears would come. It was as though she finally learned to calm herself down, cutting short the amusement she usually brought to him, leaving him with a bereft feeling.

The audacity she has on making him feel so terrible. It brought him back to the time when he'd nearly gone on a berserk streak, during spring last year. It was the first moment in his life he really felt that strong urge to kill. And that happened when he heard from his mother's lips that Leyla, his Leyla, was planning on tying the knot with Kyle Etman.

A feeling that was often called upon whenever he'd see her turn away from him. Not for the first time since they started their arrangement, did he wonder if that urge to kill was not directed at the poor doctor's son, but instead at Leyla herself?

Despite how much she'd irritate him these days though, Matthias can't deny he was still and utterly entertained by her. She drove him positively mad, invoking emotions he didn't even know he possessed.

Never in his life did the sight of a quivering body give him such desire to give in to baser instincts he once brushed off as of no mere importance, until he saw her.

Uh, master? an attendant had carefully called out to him. Matthias glanced to his side, to see the car door already opened, only waiting for him to make his exit. It seemed like he had arrived.

With a sigh, Matthias gracefully got out of his car, and headed to the lobby. When he arrived, he was suddenly greeted by a slew of company executives, rushing to welcome him.

Just before he would fully enter the magnificent building lined with enormous rows of corinthian columns, Matthias subtly stopped in an angle that let him freely gaze on the sunlit streets outside.

He glanced down at the streets, watching each person that walked by it, fully knowing Leyla wouldn't take that road. Once his lingering thoughts were appeased, he resumed his walk, schooling his expression back to a polite and calm one.

Everyday, Leyla would see her uncle off with a smile, watching solemnly at the heavy way he carried himself whenever he'd go to work at the Arvis greenhouse. Carrying his large duffel bag down through their steps, and through the Platanus road, walking with his fellow gardeners looking equally serious made them look like soldiers heading off for war.

Most of the greenhouse's structure has been restored to the way it was before the explosion, but the variety of plants that had been replanted had mostly died during the winter frost. Many of them were of the rare sorts, and couldn't be easily replaced due to the limited sources.

And Leyla knew that her uncle would be the last to complain, for he'd taken it as his duty to repair the greenhouse as payment for what the Herhardts had done for him.

Leyla couldn't help the worry she had for him. Uncle Bill would work from dawn until dusk just so he could atone for the accident. It was taking its toll on him, she could tell, but she could also tell he was determined to see this through.

Leyla! What are you doing out here?! Uncle Bill exclaimed as soon as he saw her when he'd passed by the street's corner, It's cold outside, you should head back! he implored her.

Leyla only nodded at him, but still found herself unable to move to the warmth of their cabin as she watched him go. He'd taken it as his responsibility to visit every known horticulturist, renowned botanical gardens, and aristocrats with a good number of plant collections to look for replacement of the plants they've lost.

But that could take weeks before he'd return, and Leyla found herself wondering if she should take this opportunity to also leave and accompany him in his travels? She couldn't bear it if she must stay in Arvis for weeks on end alone in their cabin.

But she feared if she were to request to do so, the Duke would tighten his grip on her, which would make it even more suspicious that something was going on between them.

One by one, each family member that bid good bye to their respective gardener went back home, leaving Leyla as the last one to stay in the cold. She didn't know how long she stayed standing out there with nothing but the bitter chill as company, until the sound of an approaching car shook her out of reverie.

Knowing that the Duke was in it, she hastily made her escape, wanting no contact from him aside from what was necessary. Unfortunately, a car would always prove to be faster than a human.

It passed her by, creating a strong gust of wind in its rush. Leyla clasped her hands together, hoping it would not stop until it reached Arvis. Her chest pounded with anxiety as she remembered she cannot hide behind her uncle in his absence.

But it wasn't a big deal, it wasn't like the Duke was responsible as to why he left after all.

When she could no longer see the vehicle, Leyla immediately hurried back to her cabin, her thoughts growing frantic the longer she stayed outside. She locked the door behind her and double checked her windows, before removing her clothes and warmed herself thoroughly.

She cleaned the house and ironed out her drying clothes, finding great comfort in her mundane tasks everyday she spent alone. It was the only reprieve she had, making her believe that soon enough Matthias would be nothing more than a stain in her memory.

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'He would probably abandon me right before his marriage.'

She thought gratefully. She had just seen the Duke and his lady standing side by side with each other, looking like the most perfect pair to ever exist.

Leyla's cheeks flushed as she went by unnoticed by the two of them, managing to arrive home unbothered. There was a strange feeling in her chest when she recalled the two of them together, but she mostly chalked it up to the cold weather back there.

Just as she was about to sit by her desk, Phoebe fluttered by her window, earlier than she usually arrived. Once more, she carried with her a summon to the Duke. A deep rage erupted in her as she ripped into the note, and tossed it into the fire.

Leyla proceeded to finish her duties, pushing his summons to the back of her mind. She went and fed their livestock, and washed the dishes she used. Once she found that all her chores were finished, she reluctantly got ready to leave, and locked her cabin before heading out to the annex, using the shadows once more as a cover of her leaving.

One day, she hoped to be free of the Duke. She'd move to the farthest city from him, bringing Uncle Bill with her. Maybe they'd settle somewhere south, by the borders of Lovita, she heard it was nice there. Then she'd take her uncle out on a trip, just the two of them. They'd eat and laugh to their heart's content, watching birds as they lounged on a tropical island. Or perhaps they'd vacation in snowy mountain peaks with majestic views.

Then they'd return, to their quaint little house, owned only by them, and not by the grace of their betters. She'd decorate it just the way she'd like, while her uncle would grow his own garden in their backyard and

Her thoughts were abruptly cut off when the view of the annex came around, replacing her daydreams with dread as she drew closer to the looming building. She was already counting down the days she'd be forced to spend with the man.

She'd lived long enough beneath the thumbs of her cruel relatives in her formative years, she could manage a few months with him. And thus, her pleasant disposition disappeared, casting a shadow over her features as she walked dutifully up the steps to meet with the duke.

The sun was yet to fully set when she'd managed to arrive, making it difficult for her to move unnoticed. Yet even in the light of the fading sun, the annex didn't change much. She still stood in a massive bedroom, with a lit fireplace in preparation for the incoming darkness. The elegant furniture still looked the same, and Leyla was still waiting for him in complete nakedness.

Matthias took his sweet time in reading through his papers, treating the sight of her naked body as one of his ornaments by now. He had grown busier these days, with the family business expanding their influence. That was largely thanks to the improved company system his grandfather, and by extension father, had made when they were still alive.

He remembered them telling him that no head of the business could handle everything in the company, and thus ironed out every detail in delegating the tasks to their subordinates. It hadn't been implemented when they were still alive, but now Matthias was reaping it's benefits. Thus, he only needed to make the final decisions of major projects and developments that could make or break their company.

Ever since he could read and write, he had been instilled with the sense of the best decision making. But the world around him was churning and turning rapidly every day, creating new problems and new circumstances that leave much to be determined.

So he would meticulously analyze every report handed to him. The one he was currently reading was pertaining to mining rights, and oil fields located overseas. When he found himself reading too much, he would only look up, and appreciate her bare beauty presented to him, before going back to his task.

If it were any other night, these walls would've been filled with moans and pleasures from both him and Leyla. But for now, he was content in listening to the rhythmic cackling of the fire as he sifted through the reports.

Leyla, on the other hand, grew irritable the longer she stared on the floor, waiting for him to have his way with her. She finally looked up, and saw that the night had fully settled in, replacing the orange hues of the setting sun.

She didn't understand why he was ignoring her as though she was invisible today. Normally he'd begin when she finished undressing for him, chasing after his pleasure. Now, she sat uselessly, and humiliated at how naked she was.

She crossed her arms over her chest, now feeling the vestiges of shame return to her the longer the Duke would do nothing but give her a side glance before returning back to his papers. He was doing nothing but work the entire time she'd been with him.

Finally, he put down the thick document he'd been reading, and both their eyes met briefly.

She found herself shuddering when they locked eyes, and quickly averted her gaze away from him, looking resolutely on back on her toes. She heard him abruptly get up, a sense of relief washing over her, thinking it was time to start

But then his steps grew fainter, and not louder, indicating he was leaving her in his room. Puzzled, Leyla looked up once more and stared at the door once it clicked shut. She could hear the muffled sounds of him speaking from behind the door. It sounded like he was talking business.

From his tone, she could tell he was using his polite, and resolute, persona of a respectable Duke. She heard him quiet down, and him returning back into the room. When his door swung open, she found herself freezing in place as they met eyes once again.

Leyla forgot she had been waiting for him to come back. But from what she'd seen, he was hardly bothered by her. Matthias only gave her a once over, eyeing her with the look of an art curator admiring a masterpiece, before casually returning to his work.

He casually leaned back in his chair, stretching his long legs to rest on top of his ottoman, before picking up the papers by the side of the table. Once more, the room was filled with the sound of ruffling papers, before the sound of a waltz seeped through the air.

The music was coming from the phonograph in the reception room. Leyla couldn't help but grow more puzzled the more he kept his distance from her.

Quietly, she reached out for her glasses, and put them back on. She glanced at him with a frown, eyeing the way he twirled his pen absentmindedly as he read through more of his work documents.

As though sensing her eyes on him, Matthias looked up, curling up an eyebrow inquiringly at her. Even with her glasses, she couldn't read what his intentions for her were today.

Feeling flustered, she quickly got up and grabbed her undergarments. If he wanted to watch her as he worked, well, she wouldn't let herself be more humiliated by participating in his perverse fancies. She hurriedly put them back on, sparing him glances from time to time, growing more flush by the second.

She found herself more humiliated tonight! She had been calm the entire time she was naked, but she could only grow more frustrated with every clothing she put back on.

By the time she was wholly dressed, Leyla was completely flushed and red in the face, looking at him with unbridled anger. Matthias only met her gaze calmly, the pen stopping from twirling was the only indication she had that he was paying attention to her.

As the moonlight filtered through the half-opened curtain in the room, Leyla found herself unable to stay silent any longer. And so with a quivering voice, her words rang loudly throughout the stillness in the room as she asked

What do you think you're doing?!