She lapped at my balls and my cock for five minutes, making my body tense in longing. I loved feeling the back of her throat, the way she would gag slightly when my thickness was too much for her. She lathered saliva up and down my base, getting me ready to enter her tight pussy.

She crawled back up my chest, her ass still high in the air like a pouncing tiger. She kissed my chest again and felt the muscle under her fingertips.

I never thought I would love giving someone else the control. "What are you going to do to me?"

She sat up and positioned her lithe body on top of my lap. My cock lay underneath her, hard and throbbing. Her wet sex rubbed against mine, ready to feel me stretch her. "Whatever I want."

"Are you going to hurt me?" I kept my voice steady even though I was desperate for some pain. A belt hung up in my closet. All she had to do was grab it and whip me senseless.

She cocked her head to the side, my meaning clearly lost on her. "Do you want me to hurt you?" She dragged her nails down my stomach. It was a tease-a sexy one.

"Yeah." I wanted her to slap me across the face so hard I saw stars. I'd never wanted a woman to dominate me, to control me, but I wanted her to be the first. Control and domination were things I needed to survive. But they didn't seem so important with this woman.

She rocked her hips slightly, dragging her heat up and down my length.

"Grab my belt and whip me until I bleed." I pulled on the handcuffs because I was desperate to touch her. I wanted to grab her hips and thrust myself inside her in on clean move.

She stopped moving altogether, her eyes narrowing on my face. "Maybe you like hurting me but I never want to hurt you, Crow." She leaned forward until her face was suspended above mine. She leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss over my heart.

"You've never done it. You'll feel differently if you give it a chance."

She held my gaze with a stern expression. When her lips were pressed tightly together and her eyes were narrowed she looked like a terrifying disciplinarian. But that made more attracted to her. "I never will." She pressed a kiss to my lips and her hair fell over one shoulder, blanketing my chest with softness that smelled like vanilla.

My heart ached for the confession but it didn't change my desire. I still wanted her to hurt me brutally, far worse than I ever hurt her. She was the only woman with the backbone to do it. But I dropped the subject because she wouldn't cooperate. "You've teased me enough." I thrust my hips upward, my cock wanting to slide into her entrance.

She grabbed her fingers around my length and slowly jerked me up and down. "I've only gotten started."

She was quiet on the drive home. Her eyes were glued to the window and the passing hillsides. Homes that were older than most museums sprinkled the land around us. Walls made of cobblestone with ornate windows hinted at ancient history. Abandoned castles could be spotted higher up the hill, closed to the public and a reminder of how old these lands really were. "I don't want to go back."

I eyed her from my spot behind the wheel. "You prefer the beach over my estate?" Both were beautiful places but I preferred the lands in the midst of the vineyards. It felt more secluded.

"No. I just prefer the other you."

The other me?

She answered my unspoken question. "I like it when you let your walls down. I like it when you reveal who you truly are. When we're at the estate you're back to business, brooding and silent. You close off from me like always. And it takes forever to pull you back out."

She observed me with greater detail than I could ever imagine. "You close off from me too."

"In retaliation."

My hand moved to hers on her lap. "I am who I am. No one will ever change that. I give you what you want when I can. But you can't expect me to give it to you all the time."

"Only when I have buttons..."

I turned my gaze back to the road, the silence filling up the air and making it inhospitable.

"Can I ask you something?"

I looked straight ahead but kept her movements in my peripheral vision.

When I didn't respond she asked her question. "Do you only do things I enjoy because of the buttons?"

What other reason would I have? "Yes."

"So, you wouldn't be so sweet to me otherwise?"

"No." I didn't care about shattering her dreams. From the beginning I made it clear she was just my slave. I did horrific things to her because it got me off. That was it.

"Because I like the things you do to me...even without the buttons." She slowly turned my way, her expression hard and unreadable.

My hand remained on hers. "What are you saying?" I didn't know what this conversation meant. I didn't know what conclusion she was trying to reach.

"I just think you enjoy the things I ask you to do...even if you won't admit it."

I immediately dropped her hand and moved it to the center padding between us. She could analyze every move I made and every word I spoke but she wouldn't find the answer she was looking for. "I'm not a romantic guy. I don't make love. I do those things just for the buttons. I do them so you'll stay in my possession for as long as possible. Because I love hurting you-very much."

When that wasn't the answer she wanted to hear, she turned her gaze back to the window. "I think you're in denial."

"I'm not."

"Well, that's my opinion. I'm sorry you disagree with it."

"And I'm sorry you choose to believe a fairytale over reality. I thought you were smarter than that. I thought you were stronger than that." My voice carried my disappointment. I was initially attracted to her because of her simplified view of the world. She didn't convince herself things were better than they really were to make herself feel better. She accepted the world as it was-cold and cruel. "You told me men are all the same. You told me you would never trust a man ever again. You told me you never wanted to have a husband and kids."

"I still stand by the statement. I never said I trusted you. I never said I wanted to marry you and have your children." Her voice remained steady like she was telling the truth. "But I still care about you. And I think you care about me. That's all I'm trying to say." Her voice fell away when she was finished.

I rested my arm on the armrest beneath the window and wished the time would pass. I wanted to be home so I could walk away from her-enjoy my solitude. This woman got under my skin in ways I didn't like. She observed me when I wasn't paying attention, and she made me think things that never would cross my mind. I didn't like it. "What brought on this conversation?" We were fine yesterday before everything shifted.

"You want me to hurt you."

"Your point?"

"All day you were the man I paid for. And then when I tied you up he disappeared. And..." She shook her head. "Nevermind."

"Tell me." I didn't raise my voice but my authority rang in the air like a loud gong.

"A part of me does want to hurt you."

I gripped the steering wheel tighter, my knuckles turning white.

"Not because I want to. But because I want to give you what you want. How could I possibly rationalize that kind of action? I've never had the urge to cause someone pain. But with you...I consider things I wouldn't normally consider."

My spine shivered at the thought. "That doesn't make you a bad person."

"But it makes me an insane person."

"So what? We're all a little insane."

She turned her gaze back to the window, dismissing the conversation.

"Button."

She refused to look at me.

"There's nothing-"

"I'm not going to hurt you and you can't change my mind." She fought against herself because she thought she was doing the right thing. Despite what she endured she still fought for a respectable and truthful existence. She'd descended into the darkness but only as a visitor. Once she became a part of it, a resident, she would feel differently.

And I would be ready when that time came.

Button and I didn't speak for the following two days. She took her meals in her room and rarely ventured outside of it. She didn't lounge at the pool or take a walk through the vineyards like she normally would. Her presence was confined to the corner of the house, the smoke from her chimney the only sign of life.

I didn't pressure her because I needed my own space. Her previous words sunk into me like quicksand. She claimed I cared about her, and the more I considered it, the more I couldn't deny it. I'd done things with her that I would never do with anyone else. If I were in this same predicament with another woman I wouldn't cave. I'd let her keep her buttons then leave when she paid off her debt.

But I was so desperate to keep her that I did whatever was necessary to make her stay.

I did enjoy the things she asked me to do. I wouldn't admit it to her because that would make everything complicated. When we lay together in the hammock I felt at peace. When I took her slowly on the bed I didn't have to pretend she was chained up and crying in pain.

But it didn't mean anything.

I was just comfortable with her.

That was all.

Like everything else, I pushed the thoughts from my mind and moved forward. I had more important things to concern myself with besides my beautiful slave.

When I came home from work on the third day I was greeted by a visitor. Jasmine stood in front of the entryway wearing a gray dress with wedges. She wore a sunhat to keep the rays off her skin, and her hair was curled in open waves.

What did she want?

I left the car in the roundabout and approached her. Without greeting her, I stared coldly. She was my employee and anything work related could be discussed at the winery-not at my private home. Our sexual relationship was over so she had no business being here.

"Hello to you too." She laughed off my coldness.

"Is there something I can help you with?"

"What?" she said with a fake chuckle. "You aren't going to invite me inside?"

My manners kicked in but then they shut down an instant later. Button was shut away in her room but I didn't want her to see Jasmine. She had a hissy fit when the waitress made a pass at me. What would she think if she saw a beautiful woman inside the house? "Let's take a walk."

"A stroll through the vineyards would be nice." She walked beside me, her teeth white and her smile dazzling. "I came by the other day but Lars said you were out."

Probably when I was at the coast. "Took a short vacation." It was strange that Lars didn't mention to me. But he probably didn't want to sour my mood when I was already angry.

"Hope you had a good time."

I inserted my hands into the pockets of my trousers. We crossed the lush yard and ventured into one of the rows that grew some of the finest grapes in all of Italy. "So, what brings you here?"

"I just returned to Italy and I feel a little lost...being gone for months will do that to you."

I wasn't her therapist so I didn't see why she was telling me this. "You'll get back into the swing of things." Italy was much slower than America. People took their time getting things done. From my limited stay in the States I knew everything was fast-paced with a deadline.

"I missed you while I was away." Her voice shook, self-conscious about what she said before she even finished saying it.

As soon as she left I stopped thinking about her. In fact, I didn't think about her once. Our relationship was strictly physical. She would come to my playroom and I would whip her until she cried. Then I fucked her like a madman. She was like all the others. She was in my company longer than most women, at least three months. But when she decided to leave I didn't stop her. Our time came to an end. I let her go without a fight, understanding all relationship came to an end one way or another.

She crossed her arms over her chest at my silence.

I refused to say it back even to make her feel better. I wasn't a liar. If I missed her I would have fucked her when she stepped into my office. But my body remained dormant because I was already satisfied with the woman who occupied my bed most nights.

She stopped walking, peering up at me from underneath her hat. "Is there someone else?"

There was never anyone else. It was always just me. I was alone in the world, completely and utterly. "Yes." Monogamy wasn't my specialty. Sometimes I had exclusive relationships with women who fulfilled my fantasies, but most of the time I went with the motions. Sometimes I paid call girls to take the most inhumane treatment before I fucked them. My heart was never invested and everything had a timer.

Disappointment filled her eyes. "Is this serious?"

"No." She was just a slave. I would release her when she accumulated every single button. I didn't owe her anything. I could fuck whomever I wanted. She was wrong to assume I had any special feelings toward her.

Jasmine moved in closer to me, her hand moving to my arm.

I let the touch linger because I didn't want to be a monster. I didn't want to reject her twice-coldly.

"I miss you, master. I want you to be punished."

I loved that word. But when I heard it, I only thought of Button. She'd never said that to me and I had a feeling she never would. But just the thought of it happening made me hard. I wanted to conquer her so completely, the most powerful nemesis I'd ever encountered. My thoughts continued to swirl and Jasmine's face disappeared.

That's when her lips pressed against mine. Delicate like a flower but full of undeniable longing. She breathed into me the instant we touched, her excitement piqued. Her arm wrapped around my neck as she deepened the kiss.

It was hard to believe I'd ever kissed this woman before. My body didn't light in a blaze and my heart didn't skip a beat. My mind didn't travel to dirty thoughts in my playroom. Like nothing happened at all, I didn't feel a goddamn thing.

She didn't resemble Button in any way whatsoever.

I pulled my mouth away, distinctly limp. "Jasmine, we're done." I didn't let her down easy because I needed her to understand she would never walk into my playroom again.

"But...no one makes me feel the way you do. No one can hurt me the way you do." She gave into her true emotions and laid her cards down. The despair washed over her face, painful and ugly.

"I'm sorry." There was nothing more for me to say.

"If this woman isn't serious then why can't we be together?"

Her desperation was unattractive. Buttons was too proud to ever admit weakness. I loved that about her. "Because I don't want you." I was a cruel man and I didn't feel bad for reminding Jasmine of that fact. I had no loyalty to Button but I couldn't deny my craving. My cock was desperate for the slave living in my estate-and only her.