"I think a bottle of Pepto Bismol exploded in this store," Yvie says, as soon as we step in. She's right; it's very pink.

"This is Elle's favorite store."

Yvie nods and starts looking around. I hang back, waiting to see what she picks out. I bought the kids a couple of board games. As much as they include me, I still feel like I'm on the outside a little. They've all known each other for years and are a family through and through. I'm just thankful they've invited me to be a part of their lives.

"What do you think of this?"

"Um, what is that?" All I see is something pink, short and lots of ruffles.

"It's a tutu, but one that Elle could wear to school."

I shrug. "You're the woman here. All I can tell you is that she's very girly."

Yvie bites her lip and nods, and I find myself wanting to rub her lower lip and kiss away the pain she's causing it. I have to stop thinking like this. The last thing I want to do is confuse her about my feelings. Hell, I don't want to confuse myself about my feelings. The ones I'm having now are causing me enough grief.

I take the bag from Yvie as soon as she's done paying. She looks at me and smiles, holding my gaze as she slips her hand back into mine. I could definitely get used to having her around, which tells me I need to put up a wall and shut off all emotions. She's leaving, and I know I'm not enough to keep her here. Not that I'd even try. She's a big city girl with big city dreams. She needs to fulfill those dreams in order to be happy.

"Peyton's next," she says as we walk back into the mall. I direct us toward the large department store. This will give Yvie the opportunity to choose from various items. She could go with something sporty, buy Peyton a game, or go with the safe option and pick out clothes.

"I know she likes football, but what else?"

"Well, sometimes she dresses like her sister, but only when Katelyn makes her for photos. She likes music, and plays Harrison's drums all the time. She likes to hang out with Noah and Liam on weekends because they watch a lot of football. When you think about it, she's a very well-rounded little girl."

Yvie sighs as she starts look through racks of clothes. "I don't think she likes me."

I lean onto the rack to catch her attention. "She doesn't know you. From what Harrison has said, she's afraid that if she loves someone they'll leave her. It took her a while to cozy up to Harrison and now she doesn't let him out of her sight unless she's with Liam; and if Quinn and Noah are around, you can forget existing. They create a bubble for her that even Elle isn't a part of."

"Interesting," she states as she walks out of this section. I try not to smile when she waits for me, holding out her hand. She's never going to know this, but this gesture alone makes me feel like I'm on top of world.

We spend an hour in this store until Yvie is satisfied with what's she's picked for Peyton: a set of pajamas and a necklace with a football charm. Yvie says she's catering to both the girl and tomboy sides.

As soon as we're in the parking lot, I walk Yvie to my car and put her bags in there quickly before she can balk. I take her hand again and pull her back toward the mall.

"Where are we going?"

"I have a surprise."

If I'm not mistaken, there might be a slight smile creeping over her face. I'm trying to keep my eyes facing forward, but I'm definitely sneaking glances at her.

I open the door to the ice skating rink and hear a slight gasp from her. She turns, and places her arms around my waist.

"How'd you know I love ice skating?"

"I didn't, but am surely thanking my quick thinking for bringing you here."

After paying the rental fee, we both hurry to get our skates on. Holding her hand, we step out onto the ice and start gliding. Yvie lets go of my hand and skates away. She turns to face me, skating backwards like a pro.

"Wow, and here I thought I'd get to hold your hand the entire time," I say as she circles me.

"I try to do this once a week. Oliver doesn't like it, but I don't care."

"Your ex?" I ask, quickly regretting my question. Harrison told his name in confidence and my big mouth likely just ruined everything.

Yvie slows down in front of me, setting her hands on my chest to stop me. "He's my producer, and yes, he's also my ex. I broke up with him because I'm not sure about my life right now. He wants one thing, and I'm not sure I want that with him. I also want to make it on my own. I don't want to get a lead because of who my boyfriend is, ya know?"

No, not really. "Yeah, I get it."

"You weren't a rebound or anything like that. I don't even want to say you were a one-night stand because that's not why I went to the gym."

"Why did you go?" I ask only because I need to know even if this is the last place I wanted to have this conversation.

"I felt something the first day we met, and I know it's stupid, but I just had to know. I just went about it the wrong way."

I nod, and set my hands on her hips. "And do you?"

Before she can answer, a young punk skates by us, clipping me on the shoulder. My feet start to slip out, and all I can see is the roof as I start to fall. Yvie comes with me because in my moment of gracefulness, I forget to let her go.

We land with a thump, and the cold instantly chills me. Yvie laughs, and I quickly follow suit.

"Sorry, I should've let you go."

"I'm not," she replies, as she brushes her lips against mine. I don't let her pull away as I set my hand on the back of her head and hold her to my mouth. We shouldn't be doing this, but I don't want to stop. When her tongue tangles with mine, and her fingers push into my hair, I'm done for. She's worth getting to know, even if it means it's over in a week.

Chapter 9Yvie.

Baby giggles are the best. This, I've just learned after listening to Eden laugh. All the kids are so well behaved with her, making her laugh and feel like she's a big girl, even though she's just over a year old. She chases them from the living room and into the dining room and then back again, and she's laughing the entire time. Each time they come back into the living room, Eden falls into Jimmy's arms. He holds her for a moment before he encourages her to get them. Then it starts all over again.

I find myself watching and waiting for their return, laughing with them. Eden is adorable with her dark, curly hair and chubby cheeks. She loves everyone, but the minute she sees her mom or dad in the room, her eyes light up.

Jenna comes into the living room with a squealing Eden in her arms. She sets her down, only for Eden to waddle-run back to wherever the other kids are.

"She's gorgeous, Jenna."

"Thanks! She's a handful, that's for sure. She's all Jimmy and has him completely wrapped around her finger."

"Quinn was the same way with Harrison. It's not hard when they're so innocent, and you can't help but fall in love with them."

This time it's Jimmy that walks in with Eden in his arms. She's patting his cheeks and saying "Daddy". I've known Jimmy for a long time, and it's hard to think that he almost wasn't here to see his daughter come into the world. The guys have always dealt with overzealous fans, but only in the form of women. I've witnessed far too many women throwing themselves at the guys, but never have they had a problem with a man until Jenna's ex wanted her back.

Jenna takes a squirming Eden from Jimmy's hands, and she tries to push Jimmy away from Jenna when he goes to kiss her. It's cute how possessive she is.

"When are you going to get up the duff?"

The slap and "ouch" that quickly follows comes as a result of Jenna slapping Jimmy. "What, Sweet Lips? It's a valid question."

"It's rude, Jimmy. Not everyone wants kids, ya know. You didn't."

"Yeah, but that was before I knocked you up good and proper." Jimmy moves out of the way before Jenna can slap him again. As soon as he's out of the room, Eden wants down.

"I don't know how you put up with Jimmy for so long," Jenna says with a shake of her head.

I shrug. "It's one of those things you just learn to deal with. He's always been like a brother to me. He's not the same though. You make him different," I say, much to her joy. Her smile is wide, and she ducks her head as she looks away.

"He's changed me. He put up with so much after he was shot, and then after my ex tried to . . . well, let's just say Jimmy has had more than enough reasons to leave me."

"I think you underestimate his love for you, Jenna. I was there when he was with Chelsea. He never looked at her the way he looks at you. You're his match."

We're interrupted by Liam, Josie and Noah opening the door and walking in, greeting us with a boisterous "Merry Christmas". It's silly that we're all here tonight at Harrison's since we'll be at Liam's tomorrow, but who am I to complain about a party with adult beverages and food? And maybe a sighting of a man who made me feel so incredibly special yesterday. When we went back to his house last night, I wanted to take things to the next level, but he was hesitant. I could see that. I don't blame him, really. I'm only visiting for a few days and probably won't see him for another year.

Jenna and I make our way into the dining room where Liam scoops me up and spins me around.

"You have to meet my wife," he says as he puts me down.

"Josie, this is Yvie, Harrison's sister, and this is my son, Noah." Hearing Liam introduce his family with so much pride in his voice reminds me that there's a different side to him. I'm used to the cynical side of Liam, and haven't seen this loving family man since Quinn was a baby. Noah waves, and quickly leaves us to chat.

"It's very nice to meet you. I've heard so much about you," Josie tells me. I wish I could say the same, but Liam never spoke about her.

"Congratulations," I say, knowing their anniversary is coming in a few days, with yet another party to be had. I'll miss that one though, as I'm going back to New York Christmas night. As much as I'd like to stay, I have to return to work.

"Thank you. It's been an amazing two years." Josie beams at Liam who leans in for a kiss. That's my cue to make myself scarce. I glance at the door, hoping that it'll open and Xander will walk through, but no such luck. I told him yesterday how much I hated being the fifth wheel and I thought he understood.

I walk down the hall toward the kitchen and stop in the doorway, spying on Harrison and Katelyn. He has her caged against the counter, and it looks like he's telling her a secret. The look of adoration in her eyes-that is what I want. I want to look at the man I love and know I'll never stop loving him, no matter what. My brother's lifewhat he's turned it intois really something to marvel at. He's taken on the role of dad flawlessly, and done so without reservation. Not too many men, or women for that matter, would do that. I know that Quinn loves Katelyn without question.

"Hey, Mom, can we go downstairs and watch a movie?" Quinn walks in from the other side of the kitchen, and I step back so he doesn't see me.

Harrison moves away from Katelyn to give his son her undivided attention. She runs her fingers over his shaggy hair, pushing it behind his ear. "Grandma will be here soon. Xander went to pick her up from the airport and they were stopping to get Grandpa, so choose a movie that you guys won't mind shutting off for a while, okay?" Quinn nods and runs off.

So that's where Xander is. I want to be mad at him for keeping me waiting, but the fact that he's picking up my mom gives him massive bonus points. Yesterday, being with him, shopping and then ice-skating was probably one of the best days I've had in a long time. Being with Xander takes no effort at all. Everything seems to flow as if we're in sync. When I'm with Oliver, I'm always on edge. I'm constantly watching where I'm stepping, what I'm saying. My clothes have to be perfect. My hair has to be styled. I always have to be en pointe. With Oliver I feel stressed out, but he's comfortable. With Xander, I'm anxious and waiting for the other shoe to drop, so to speak.

Even the way Xander touches me is different, better. He hesitates, as if he's asking my body for permission to be caressed by him. The rise in my body temperature and the pebbling of my skin is all because of him. Yesterday, I felt seduced even though our night ended with a simple but lingering goodnight kiss. It was like he was showing me what I'm missing by not living here, or what it'd be like if he and I were together.

Even now, thinking about being with him makes my body tingle with anticipation. I'm not expecting that we'll be together like that again, or that he even wants to see me outside of our lives with my family, but I'm hoping.

The door opens, and I turn. My steps down the hall are slow as people file in. First is an older man I'm assuming is Katelyn's father-in-law, and next is my mother. She doesn't see me and that's okay because watching her interact with Mr. Powell is worth me being forgotten. He helps her with her coat, and the smile she has for him is unwavering. I'm going to have to ask Harrison what that's all about. It would be nice to see her happy with someone, anyone for that matter, as long as he treats her like a queen. She deserves it. All my life, Harrison and I were put in front of her happiness. It's time she started living for her.

As soon as my mom sees me, I'm in her arms. I've missed her so much. "Baby girl, I'm so happy you're here."

"Me too, Mom."

She pulls away and places her hands on my cheeks. There are tears in her eyes. "I'm so happy that I have my family home for Christmas."

I nod and before I can say anything else, Quinn is wrapped around her waist. I'm soon forgotten, but that's okay because the man that I want to give my attention to just motioned for me to follow him into the living room.

Everything moves in slow motion for me as I walk to Xander. He's smiling, but his lower lip is pulled into his mouth. The way he's looking at me makes me wish we were alone. I don't know about him, but I'm undressing him with my eyes and know I'm not doing him justice. I need to stop thinking about him like that and just enjoy our friendship.

He kisses me on the cheek before stepping back and putting the customary space between us. "Sorry I'm late. I should've called."

"Yes, you should have," I joke, reminding myself that we're not a couple, and he doesn't owe me anything.

"I would've, but I don't have your number."

I laugh and step a little closer. My hands ache to clutch the sides of his sweater, to pull him close and whisper my number against his lips. "I could probably give you my number."

"Yeah, I'd like that," he says, leaning closer.

"What's wrong, mate? Does she have bad breath?"

We step away quickly, and both of us blush. I hear Jenna yell Jimmy's name, but the damage is done. Liam and Harrison are both standing next to him. Liam is expressionless and Harrison's eyebrow is raised. He doesn't look pissed-not that I'd care. I'm an adult and can do what I want.

Harrison runs his hand over his beanie and clears his throat. For someone who told Xander that he'd be okay with us, he's sure having a hard time finding something to say. "Uh . . . yeah." He looks at Liam who shrugs but doesn't bother looking at Jimmy because let's face it, anything Jimmy says will be crude. "Katelyn says the food is ready." Harrison walks away, followed by Jimmy who is laughing.

Liam takes a step into the room, his hands shoved deep into this pockets. "Don't hurt her," he says, his voice monotone.

"I won't," Xander replies quickly. He's right, he won't. There's nothing to hurt. We aren't declaring love for each other; we're just enjoying each other's company.

"We're just friends," I reply, only to realize how shitty that sounds. Xander is looking at Liam, but that does nothing to hide the fact that I've hurt him. His eyes close and Liam smirks.

As soon as Liam leaves the room, Xander turns to face me. He's hurt. I can see it in his eyes.

"I'm sorry that was rude of me."

"It's fine," he says. "We are friends, right?"

I nod, but suddenly hate that word. None of my "friends" treat me the way Xander does. We need a better word for what we are, or what we could be.

"Do you think you can come over tonight?" he asks, much to my surprise. I could've been friend-zoned after my comment.

"I'll be there."

Chapter 10Xander.

This is my second Christmas with the guys and their families. The first one was awkward because I felt like an outsider intruding on what little private time they actually have. This year it feels like family though and tomorrow when I arrive at Liam's, I'll be bearing presents for the kids. I actually had fun shopping for them. They're easy to buy for. The only gift I can give the guys is free membership to the gym, and they refuse to accept that. Honest friendship is all they require, and that's something I can definitely give them. Besides, what do you buy people who have everything? Nothing. That's what.

When Katelyn called and asked me to pick up Mrs. James and Mr. Powell, I had to bite my tongue to keep from telling her no. There was a certain someone that I couldn't wait to see, and by arriving late I was prolonging what my body was craving. Yvie, in the flesh.

Last night, watching her drive away from my house sent an ache right through my core. I'm falling for her hard, and I need to find a way to curb what I'm feeling. Except, I can't. Yvie James is a force to be reckoned with and bit by bit, she's inching her way into my life. I thought I could put the night in the gym behind me, but I can't. Having her in my house was killing me. I knew if I made a move, our clothes would've been pushed aside until I could be in her again. The problem is that my heart is guiding me and not my head.