"Yes, I'll do that." She hung up, feeling worn out by the encounter with her sister-in-law, and she realized it was always like this. So much easier to give in to Inez than to fight her. Just as it had been with Allan.

Only this time, she hadn't given in. The thought buoyed her spirits.

"No wonder you think someone has been manipulating you," Slade said as he came into the living room. "But what the h.e.l.l was that about recommitting yourself?"

"I agreed I needed help-not recommitting. I remembered something," she said excitedly. "When Inez was talking about Dr. Parris and Evergreen I realized I couldn't recall any any discussions I had with him while Inez was there." discussions I had with him while Inez was there."

Slade lifted a brow. "That's a memory?"

"Don't you see, I must have been in one of my...blanks. But that means Dr. Parris would have observed this. He might know what was wrong with me based on the way I was acting." She saw Slade's expression. "I know what you're thinking. That I have some sort of personality disorder." It certainly sounded as though that was the case to her.

"You don't have a split personality," he said, sounding more convinced than she had expected. "I don't know much about personality disorders, I'll admit. And you're different from the Holly Barrows I knew this time last year. But not that that much different. In fact, you seem to be becoming more and more like her all the time. With the kind of stress you've been under, I think it would be just the opposite. Once all your memory returns-" He broke off and shrugged, his gaze gliding over her face as gentle and warm as a caress. much different. In fact, you seem to be becoming more and more like her all the time. With the kind of stress you've been under, I think it would be just the opposite. Once all your memory returns-" He broke off and shrugged, his gaze gliding over her face as gentle and warm as a caress.

She felt a rush of grat.i.tude. Whether he was right or not, he was trying to rea.s.sure her and she appreciated that more than he could know.

And she did feel...different. Stronger. Just standing up to Inez- "Dr. Parris should be able to help us," she said again, hoping it were true.

He smiled at her, making her wonder if he thought her naive. "Maybe he does have some answers," he agreed, perhaps a little too easily. "Or this Dr. O'Brien your sister-in-law was so anxious for you to see might have."

She watched him walk to the door and pick up her suitcase and the painting, his words echoing in her ears.

"Let's get out of here." He seemed even more anxious to get away from her apartment now. Because of Inez's call? Was he worried Inez and Dr. O'Brien wouldn't wait until morning to come get her?

She realized why Slade had wanted her to take the call. He suspected Inez was somehow involved. And now, it seemed, he was even more suspicious.

Holly quickly followed after him, not so sure he wasn't right. Just before he turned out the light, the glare caught on her painting, highlighting the monsters huddled at the end of the bed. She had a flash of realization so strong it stunned her. Not a memory. But a feeling. Almost a warning. Something had had been controlling her life. Something much more malevolent than Inez Wellington. been controlling her life. Something much more malevolent than Inez Wellington.

But the question was: Was it still in control?

Chapter Nine.

Slade stepped out into the night, Holly right behind him. The top of the stairs were dark, the sky overhead a deep cold midnight blue, the December air frosty and wet with the promise of snow. Slade descended the steps, the day-old snow crunchy under his feet. He stopped at the bottom of the stairs to search the street, knowing that what he feared most wasn't waiting for them in the dark.

He took Holly's hand as they crossed the street to his pickup. He shivered, but he knew it wasn't from the cold. He was scared as h.e.l.l.

Once behind the wheel, he started the truck and pulled away, watching in his rearview mirror.

"You're scaring me," she whispered, turning to look back.

"Sorry," he said. "Just force of habit."

But he couldn't help checking his rearview mirror as they left Pinedale, couldn't help feeling as though something was after them, because deep inside he believed something was.

No car lights flashed on behind them. But then he didn't think Dr. O'Brien had had time to round up a couple of orderlies and a straitjacket and drive to Pinedale. There was no doubt in Slade's mind though, that the doctor was on his way.

Nor did he think they were being followed. At least not in the usual way. What was after them was too hi-tech to use something as primitive as a tail.

Pinedale seemed hunkered down for the night as he drove through the deserted streets. After all, it was cold and late and Christmas Day.

Hard as it was to admit, he knew the fear he felt had nothing to do with Dr. O'Brien, Inez or even monsters dressed like Halloween ghouls. It was the fear he was in over his head. That Holly didn't need a private investigator. That she needed a shrink. That he was dead wrong and that, by getting her hopes up, he was only going to make things worse.

But he'd heard Inez on the phone. He had the pills in his pocket. Even if the pills didn't prove what he suspected they would, any fool could see that Holly was in trouble.

Selfishly he wanted the Holly he'd known-and who'd known him-back. And he wanted their baby. If Holly's memory of the little girl with dimples was real.

Unfortunately, he was smart enough to know that once whoever was behind this found out Holly was starting to remember, they might decide to get rid of the evidence. And that had him running scared.

He couldn't wait to get to Sh.e.l.ley's and build a fire. He needed the warmth of his sister's house tonight. A hard cold block of ice had settled inside him. He'd never felt so cold.

But he had one stop he had to make first. He glanced over at Holly. She sat huddled against the door staring out at the darkness, her face pale in the glow of the dash lights. He wondered what it must be like, having huge chunks of time you couldn't account for. Doing things that you wouldn't normally do. And waking up not knowing what you'd done. Or why.

The worst of it was, he didn't want to believe what was staring him dead in the face. He was one of those missing chunks of time. He wasn't sure who or what had kept him hidden inside her. And that had him worried. He hoped it would be as simple as the bottle of prescription drugs now snug in his pocket. But he doubted he could get that lucky.

"WHY ARE WE HERE?" Holly asked, unable to hide her sudden irrational fear, as he pulled into the hospital parking lot.

He glanced over at her in surprise. "Sorry, I should have told you. I want to find out if anyone has heard from the admitting nurse who was on duty Halloween night."

"Carolyn Gray." Holly had a bad feeling about the nurse. One she couldn't shake. "Do you think-" She hated to even voice her fear. "-that they would actually...kill someone to keep them quiet about this?"

"They stole our child, Holly. That's kidnapping, a federal offense. But still a step down from murder." He seemed to be studying her. "Are you afraid to go in the hospital? Because of the commitment papers?"

She shook her head. "Just bad memories." She'd been fine earlier in the day when they'd come here. She couldn't explain what had her scared now. She'd never been afraid of the dark. Or hospitals. Or monsters. But she was now.

"Don't worry," he said, his voice as soft as his gaze in the semi-darkness of the pickup cab. "I won't let them take you back to the Inst.i.tute. No matter what I have to do."

Impulsively she reached over to give his gloved hand lying on the seat between them a gentle squeeze. "Thank you. For everything."

"Thank me when this is all over," he said, looking uncomfortable. "I haven't done much to protect you so far."

They found the head nurse in the break room, sitting at one of a half-dozen round tables, reading. Mrs. Lander, according to her name tag, was a small woman dressed in an immaculate white uniform. Just the way she was sitting, her back ramrod straight and a no-nonsense aura about her, told Holly she would not be easy to work for.

"Yes?" Mrs. Lander enquired, as she looked up from her reading.

Slade showed her his identification. "Carolyn Gray is a key witness in a case I'm involved in. Have you heard from her?"

"Yes," Mrs. Lander said, a great deal of disapproval in that one word. "She called yesterday to say she had taken another job and wouldn't be coming back."

The same day Holly and Slade had gone to Carolyn's apartment to find it hastily cleaned out.

"You spoke to her yourself?" he asked.

"No, the receptionist took a message."

"But the receptionist was sure it was Carolyn Gray?" he persisted.

Mrs. Lander looked from Slade to Holly. "The receptionist is new, but the woman called herself Carolyn Gray. Why would she lie?"

Holly wandered over to a bulletin board full of photos, afraid Carolyn Gray might have had an accident like the midwife, Maria Perez.

"You don't seem surprised Carolyn Gray would leave without giving proper notice," Slade was saying.

"No."

"Why is that?"

"Why the interest, Mr. Rawlins?"

"I think she might be in trouble."

"I think with Carolyn that goes without saying," the nurse retorted. "Carolyn didn't take her job seriously. There were times she would leave her post without telling anyone. We often had a hard time finding her when we needed her."

Interesting. Holly moved along the bulletin board, wondering if Carolyn Gray was one of the nurses in the candid snapshots tacked up there. The snapshots made the hospital look like a fun place to work.

"What do you think the problem was?" Slade asked.

"Men. She liked men, especially doctors. I caught her once coming out of an empty room with one of the doctors."

"Which doctor?" he asked.

"I really can't say." Holly heard the sc.r.a.pe of a chair and turned to see the nurse on her feet. She closed the book she'd been reading. "I really need to get back to work."

"Can you tell us what Carolyn Gray looks like?" Holly asked. "Maybe there's a photo of her over here?" She motioned to the bulletin board.

The nurse seemed to hesitate, but walked over to the snapshots. She lifted several that had been tacked over older ones. "This one wouldn't help you. She's wearing a costume."

Holly felt her heart leap in her chest. "May I see it?"

The nurse removed the photo and handed it to her. "It was taken during the Halloween party."

Holly almost dropped the photograph. In between two other people dressed as monsters was the exact costumed monster Holly had painted.

"Which one is Carolyn?" she managed to ask, surprised her voice didn't betray her.

Nurse Lander pointed to the monster in the middle-the one from Holly's painting. "That's Carolyn. For what it's worth."

It was worth a lot. Holly handed the photo to Slade. He looked as taken aback as she was.

The nurse rummaged through the other snapshots on the board, grumbling about what a mess the bulletin board was. "Here's one of Carolyn. It's a fair likeness."

Holly took the photo the nurse handed her. It was of a women in a nurse's uniform standing behind the admitting desk. Carolyn Gray was a buxom woman, tall and broad-shouldered. In her costume, Holly could have mistaken her for a man.

She handed the photo to Slade.

"Why monsters?" he asked.

"Actually, I think it was Carolyn's idea," Nurse Lander said. "She was in charge of the party. She made made her costume, which goes to show she has some talent-at least for the hideous. I think she won Most Frightening for it." her costume, which goes to show she has some talent-at least for the hideous. I think she won Most Frightening for it."

Holly could believe that. She searched the rest of the photos from the party on the bulletin board for the other two monsters, but unlike Carolyn's costume, the rest were pretty uninspired-and none of them familiar.

"Do you mind if we take these two with us?" Slade asked Lander. "I'd be happy to return them."

The nurse shook her head. "They're all yours," she said with a wave of her hand. She glanced at her watch. "If there is nothing else-"

"Just one thing, Carolyn would have had a check coming so I'm sure she gave you a forwarding address when she called, or at least her new place of work, so you could send it. If she really was the person who called."

The nurse pursed her lips. "She asked that her check be sent to Evergreen Inst.i.tute. That's all I can tell you." Mrs. Lander swept past him and out the door.

"Sweet heaven," he breathed, after the nurse left, his gaze coming to Holly.

She nodded, still shaking. "Carolyn Gray was one of the monsters and now she's working at Evergreen."

"Do you recognize any of the other masks?" he asked.

She shook her head. The photos had been taken at random and probably not everyone had ended up on the bulletin board-even if they'd all been photographed. Or maybe all the monsters hadn't been part of the hospital crew that night.

"Anyone dressed as a monster would have had the run of the hospital Halloween night," she said. "All they would have had to do was dress as monsters."

"My thought exactly. They could have brought you in and no one would have been the wiser."

"Except Carolyn. She was at the birth, Slade."

He nodded. "The always-disappearing-from-her-post Carolyn Gray. You had to have given birth close to the hospital then. Close enough that Carolyn could slip out and slip back in without causing too much notice."

"And even if she did get noticed, everyone would just think she was meeting one of the doctors," Holly added. "Too bad we don't know which doctor."

ONE MONSTER DOWN, Slade thought as he drove to his sister's. Two to go.

All he needed now was to find out where Holly had given birth. He still didn't have squat for proof, but there was no doubt in his mind it was all true.

Carolyn Gray was working at Evergreen. Or at least having her check sent there.

He felt even more jumpy, more anxious, after seeing the photos at the hospital. Don't think there are no crocodiles just because the water is calm, his father used to say.

And the water was anything but calm.