"All of our agents are still busy," the recorded voice said. "would.

you please continue to hold?"

The announcement repeated itself a moment later. And then there was silence for two or three minutes. "Environmental Protection," a man's voice said.

"Hello," Hurd said, "I'd like some information about noise pollution?"

"What type of noise pollution?"

"The honking of automobile horns? Taxis, trucks,

cars? In the vicinity of the Hamilton Bridge?"

A silence. Then:

"What type of noise is that again?"

"Horns. Taxicab horns, track..."

"You want the Taxi and Limousine Commission,"

the man said. "That's 3078294."

He dialed the number.

"This is the Taxi and Limousine Commission," a recorded voice said. "If you are calling from a touch-tone phone, press One for further information."

He pressed One.

"If you are calling to report a complaint, press

If you are calling regarding property left in a press Two. All other inquiries, press Three." He had a complaint. He pressed One.

"All complaints must be made in writin recorded voice advised him, and then went on to give him an address to which he could write.

"To return to the main menu," the recorded said, "press Eight."

He pressed Eight.

He listened to the options again. "All other inquiries" suddenly sounded very good. He pressed Three. A recorded voice said, "if you are calling licensing or owner information, press One. If you have a question about a hearing, summons, or appeal, press Two. If you have an inquiry regarding medallion renewal..."

He thought it over for a moment, figured that he most certainly wanted was a hearing of any and pressed Two. There were yet more options. Did he want to reschedule a hearing? Did want to check his subpoena status? Did he... ?

"If you are calling regarding an appeal," the recorded voice said, "press Four."

He pressed Four.

"Please remain on the line. There will be a moment of silence."

He felt as if he were standing at the Tomb of the

Unknown Soldier.

He waited.

The brief moment of silence passed.

"Appeals," a voice said:

"Are you a recording?" he asked.

"No, sir, I am a person."

"God bless you," he said, and eagerly told her that he wasn't calling regarding an actual appeal as such, but that he just wanted to talk to a human being who might be able to give him some information about motor vehicles blowing horns in the vicinity of the... "You want Public Affairs," she said. "That's 3074738."

"Is that still the Taxi and Limousine Commission?" "Yes, sir, it is."

"Thank you," he said, and dialed the number. "Public Affairs," a man's actual voice said. He was on a roll.

"Sir," he said, "is it against the law for taxicabs to blow their horns?"

"Except in an emergency, yes, sir," the man said. "It's part of the Vehicle and Traffic Law."

"Are taxi drivers told it's against the law?" "They're supposed to know it, yes, sir."

"But who informs them? Is the information in a booklet or something?"

"They're supposed to familiarize themselves with the law, yes, sir."

"How?"

"They're supposed to know it, sir."

"Well, they don't seem to be too familiar with it."

"Do you have a complaint about a taxi driver blowing his horn, sir?"

"I have a complaint about ten thousand of them blowing their horns!"

"11,787, sir," the man corrected. "But if you have a specific taxi in mind, you can call 307-TAXI with complaint."

"I don't have a specific taxi in mind."

"Then you should call DEP-HELP. They'll be to take a nonspecific complaint."

He hung up, and immediately dialed DEPH realizing an instant too late that this was in 3374357... This is the Department of Environme Protection. If you, are calling about a water or problem, air or noise pollution, asbestos or materials, please..."

He waited through two more announcements which told him that everyone was still busy, and finally he got a customer service agent. He explained that he wanted to make a nonspecific complaint about the honking horns in the vicinity of the Hamilton Bridge between the hours of..."