You can disagree without arguing.

You can feel without losing control.

You can keep the passion alive in a long-term relationship.

You can be mature without losing the child inside of you.

You can only be truly known in an intimate, long-term relationship.

You cannot be known unless your open your heart.

You cannot love without being vulnerable.

You cannot be intimate without taking a risk.

You cannot share feelings in a nonsupportive environment.

You cannot enter a relationship demanding a guarantee.

You cannot be interdependent unless you're first independent.

You cannot be controlling and spontaneous at the same time.

You cannot live without making mistakes.

You cannot realize your dreams if you don't have well-defined goals.

You cannot grow unless you learn from your mistakes.

You cannot forgive another until you've forgiven yourself first.

You cannot heal a broken heart until you risk it again.

You have the power to choose how your feelings affect you.

You have the ability to alter your reality with your beliefs.

You have all the talents and capabilities to fulfill your purpose.

You can be insanely romantic and still be yourself.

GETTING DOWN TO BUSINESS.

440 Mark all significant dates in your appointment book or business calendar. Note: You and your partner may not consider the same occasions to be "significant." Make sure you think like your partner when you mark these dates.

His or her birthday Your anniversary Valentine's Day First day of each season A "mystery date"

Dinner dates Major vacations Three-day weekends Kids' birthdays Pseudo-holidays that he or she likes Favorite rock star's birthday Favorite movie star's birthday And here's the key to staying on top of things so these dates don't "sneak up" on you: Write reminders to yourself in your calendar two weeks in advance of each date to remind yourself to send a card, buy a gift, or make reservations.

441 Another way to ensure that you get those greeting cards, notes, and gifts out on time is to get a three-ring binder with twelve pocket dividers. Label them with the months, and insert relevant items into each pocket. Attach a "Master List" of significant dates to the inside cover. This way, you'll be prepared well in advance of every event that comes along.

Insert greeting cards, notes, poems, articles, reminders to yourself, ads, catalog pages, etc.

Make sure every pocket has stuff in it-especially for those months that include no "official" anniversaries or holidays. Make up your own holidays and reasons for celebrating!

442 Delegate more at work. Come home at a reasonable hour!

443 Place a flower in his briefcase. Maybe a dozen. Just because.

FUNNY BUSINESS.

444 Write wacky notes, memos and things, based on your profession: Teacher: Write a report card.

Lawyer: Write out a motion.

Trucker: Make a packing slip.

Executive: Write a business plan.

Doctor: Write a prescription.

Secretary: Write a memo.

Salesman: Place an order.

Policeman: Write a ticket.

Anyone: Write a resume.

Your profession: (_____) 445 Call your lover on the phone. Make up a love song on the spot and sing it to her! Make up a tune, make up the words-and just keep singing! (You'll generate laughter as well as appreciation!) 446 Don't let your serious business executive fool you: Most of them love to "play" at their desks. Executive "desk toys" make great gifts. Note: There are several categories of desk toys. Which kind does your partner like?

Wind-up toys Cartoon characters Nostalgic items Prestige items Toy cars and trucks Electronic gizmos Sports memorabilia Puzzles Hobby-related items Things that move or swivel Things to fiddle with

RESOURCES (I).

447a And before you buy any jewelry, become an educated buyer. Visit www.jic.org.

The Celebration Fantastic (weddings & other): 800-235-3272, www .celebrationfantastic.com Figi's Gift Catalog (you name it!) 715-384-6101, www.figis.com For Counsel (for lawyers!): 800-637-0098, www.forcounsel.com Golf House (duffers' gifts): 800-336-4446, www.usgapubs.usga.org Into the Wind (kites 'n stuff ): 800-541-0314, www.intothewind.com Levenger (reader's tools): 800-667-8034, www.levenger.com Littleton Coin Company (): 800-258-4645, www.littletoncoin.com Museum of Fine Arts, Boston (artsy): 617-369-3575, www.mfa.org The Nature Store (cool & natural): 800-345-1638, www.thenaturestore.com Neiman Marcus (clothing & related): 800-825-8000, www.neimanmarcus.com Norm Thompson (all kinds of stuff): 800-547-1160, www.normthompson.com The Paragon (miscellany): 800-343-3095, www.theparagon.com The San Francisco Music Box Company: 800-227-2190, www.sfmusicbox.com Cellini Fine Gifts (unique stuff): 888-323-6068, www.cellinifinegifts.com Get this book before you buy a diamond: How to Buy a Diamond: Insider Secrets for Getting Your Money's Worth, by Fred Cuellar.

RESOURCES (II).

447b The Sharper Image (techie & cool stuff ): 800-344-4444, www.sharper image.com Signals (great gifts): 800-669-9696, www.signals.com The Smithsonian (curious items): 800-322-0344, www.smithsonianstore.com Stave Puzzles (jigsaw puzzles): 802-295-5200, www.stave.com Sundance (Western & rustic): 800-422-2770, www.sundancecatalog.com Vermont Teddy Bear Co. (hand-made!): 800-829-BEAR, www.vermontteddybear.com Victorian Papers (elegant papers): 800-700-2035, www.victoriantradingco.com Williams-Sonoma (cooking tools): 800-541-2233, www.williamssonoma. com Rockler Woodworking and Hardware (practical tools): 800-279-4441, www.rockler.com S&S Worldwide Games (games & puzzles): 800-888-0987, www.ssww.com White Flower Farm (great flowering plants): 800-503-9624, www.white flowerfarm.com Calyx & Corolla (exotic flowers): 800-800-7788, www.calyxandcorolla.com Smith & Hawken (gardening stuff ): 800-776-3336, www.smithandhawken.com Harry & David (gourmet food): 800-345-5655, www.harryanddavid.com Sundance was founded by Robert Redford, one of the best romantic stars of all time.

RESOURCES (III).

448 Bridal magazines are great resources for finding romantic vacation destinations. (If you think that honeymoons are just for newlyweds, you're missing some great romantic opportunities!) Pick up a copy of Brides, Modern Bride, Elegant Bride, Today's Bride, Bride & Groom, or Bridal Guide.

449 Resources around town: Call 'em, ask 'em questions. Send for their catalogs and brochures.

Adult education programs Convention & Visitors Bureaus Dance studios Music studios Cooking schools Local amateur theaters Museums Nightclubs Golf courses Tennis clubs City Hall Recreation Department The Parks Department Bookstores Concert halls The YMCA and YWCA Comedy clubs Catalogs are great resources. Not only for specific gifts, but also for ideas and concepts you can implement on your own.

For the scientifically minded, shop for gifts at: The American Museum of Natural History, New York City: 212-769-5100, or visit www.amnh.org The Smithsonian Institution, Washington, D.C. 202-633-1000, or visit www.si.edu 450 She loves flowers. He planted a flower garden "to keep the bloom on our love." The challenge, of course, is that most flowers only bloom for a few weeks of the year. Following fifteen years of many different combinations of flowers, he finally found the perfect resource, Birthflowers of the Landscape, by Linton Wright McKnight. This book lists thousands of flowers and when they bloom.

RESOURCES (IV).

451 For researching music for your music lover: Rolling Stone magazine's website is a great resource with lots of song clips, videos, profiles of 85,000 artists, and more. Visit www.rollingstone.com.

452 Looking for a movie for your lover, or movies by a particular director or actor, or movie reviews, or background info on a particular flick? Visit the Internet Movie Database at www.imdb.com.

453 A great resource for old magazines (great for birthday or anniversary gifts!) is the Avenue Victor Hugo Bookstore, in Boston, Massachusetts. Call 781-871-1787, or visit www.avenuevictorhugobooks.com.

Do you know a couple with an A+ Relationship? They can be a great romantic resource for you.

454 If you'd be interested in "a connoisseur's worldwide guide to peaceful and unspoiled places," then you should subscribe to Andrew Harper's Hideaway Report, a monthly newsletter devoted to upscale travel. For more info, visit www.andrewharper.com. The Report's 2007 list of Hideaways of the Year included: Poetry Inn, in Napa, California: a beautiful inn nestled in the heart of California's wine country. Call 707-944-0646, or visit www.poetryinn.com Les Mars Hotel, in Healdsberg, California: a luxurious, family-owned and operated European hotel. Call 877-431-1700, or visit www.lesmarshotel. com.

SLIGHTLY.

OUTRAGEOUS.

455 Visit a karaoke bar and surprise your lover by getting up and singing "your song" to him or her.

456 Overdo something. Don't hold back. Go for it! Give it everything you've got. Be creative. Be wild. Be expressive.

Does he love M&M's? Fill a one-gallon glass jar with them for him.

Make love every day for a week. (For a month!?) Take your lover on a surprise two-week vacation to Paris.

Call her from work, every-hour-on-the-hour, just to say "I love you."

Send a birthday message via skywriting!

Be outrageous!

Do something unexpected.