"When he saw me he stooped down from his carriage, and says he, 'Well, my good fellow, what's the matter with you? But never mind; whatever it is I'll cure you. Trust Doctor Gulliman for that.'

"I didn't much fancy having to tell my complaint among so many hearers.

You see my modesty stood in my way.

"'Come, come, tell me all about it, my good man,' says he in an encouraging tone.

"So I put my hand on my bread-basket, and told him that I was troubled with pains in them parts, and that for the life of me I couldn't get well, though there was seldom a night I didn't take half-a-dozen tumblers of grog to set me to rights.

"'Put out your tongue, my man,' says he.

"I stuck it out so that from where he stood he could look right down my throat.

"'Oh, oh! my dear man, I guessed what it was that ails you. But never fear, I'll cure you in a jiffy. You're troubled with smoke-worms.

That's it. And they are very dangerous things if you don't get rid of them, mind that. You see this invaluable stuff which I hold in my hand.

If you want to get cured you must take six bottles of it. I don't say but that it would be safer for you if you took twelve. But do as you like about that. Mix each of them in a stiff gla.s.s of grog. You may take three a day if you like, and then come back to me for more. At the end of three days--trust the word of an honest man and a true friend of the whole human race--you will be clear of them all, and every complaint you have at the same time.'

"Well," thinks I to myself, "'in for a penny, in for a pound,' though there is a difference between the shilling my friend in the crowd said I should have to pay and the twelve shillings the doctor demands. But then, to be sure, the stuff can't be unpleasant, and the grog, at all events, is no bad thing. 'Well, doctor,' says I, 'I'll take the twelve bottles, but I should like to know what the stuff you give me is made of?'

"'What!' he sings out, drawing himself up and looking as proud as a prince. 'What! Do you just imagine for one quarter of a moment that I would tell you, or any man like you, alive on this terrestrial sphere, what my infallible Obfucastementi-scoposis is composed of? No; not to satisfy the gaping curiosity of twenty such wretched creatures as you are would I reveal that golden, all-important, mysterious secret. If you are not content, go! Give me back my invaluable 'lixier and cut.'

"'Yes, doctor,' says I, going to give him the twelve bottles, 'and just do you in return hand me out my twelve shillings.'

"'Your twelve shillings! you audacious rascal. Here's a man asks me for twelve shillings in exchange for my 'lixier, which is worth twelve pounds at least. Ladies and gentlemen, he ain't fit to be among such as you. Hoot him--hoot him--hiss him--kick him out from among you.'

"On this my friend in the crowd, who advised me to buy the stuff, began to hoot and to hiss and to shove me about, and others followed his example, till I saw that there was no use of attempting to hold my own, and I wasn't sorry to be able to get clear of them, and to bolt with a whole skin on my body, though two of the bottles were broken in the row.

"I got home at last, not over well pleased with Doctor Gulliman and the way I had been treated. However, as I had paid for my whistle, I thought I might as well try if the stuff would do me any good. As soon as I got into Portsmouth I bought a bottle of old rum; for, thinks I to myself, if I am to take the stuff, the sooner I begin the better.

"When I reached my boat, I recollected that I was engaged to go out to Spithead to bring on sh.o.r.e an officer from one of the ships lying there, so I stowed away a gla.s.s and a can of water, not forgetting the rum and 'lixier, and shoved off. I just paddled down the harbour, for I was in no hurry, and the ebb was making strong. At last says I to myself, just as I got off the kickers, 'I'll just take a bottle of the 'lixier and see how I feel after it.' So I got a bottle, and poured it out, and put in some old rum, just on the top of it, to take the taste away, and then I took the can of water, but I found that there was a hole at the bottom of it, and that most of the water had leaked out. So, do you see, I was obliged to be very careful of the water, and couldn't put much of it at a time in the gla.s.s. If I had, you see, I shouldn't have had any of the precious fluid, as they calls it, left for another gla.s.s. Well, I tossed off the liquid, and when I had smacked my lips, I began to think much better of the doctor. His stuff, you see, wasn't so bad after all.

Thinks I to myself, 'If one gla.s.s is good, two must be better; so, before I take to the oars again, I'll have another.' Somehow the second was even better than the first. Then it struck me all of a heap like, that the doctor said I should take three bottles of his stuff in a day; so, as it was now getting towards sundown, thinks I, 'The sooner I takes the third the better.'

"Howsomedever, when I came to look at the can, I found that every drop of water had leaked out, so I had no help for it but to fill the tumbler up with the rum. I can't say it tasted bad, though it was, maybe, rather stiffish. Well, as the tide was sending me along nicely, I didn't get out the oars again, but sat in the boat meditating like, when all of a sudden I felt myself very queer in the inside, and pains came on just for all the world as if I had swallowed a score or two of big mackerel, and they were all kicking and wriggling about in my bread-basket. 'They are the smoke-worms the doctor told me about,'

thinks I. 'They don't like the taste of his stuff, that's the truth of it.' Well, I felt queerer and queerer, and Southsea Castle began to spin round and round, and the kickers went dancing up and down, and the ships in the harbour were all turning summersets, and every sort of circ.u.mvolution and devilment you could think of took place. Thinks I to myself, 'There's something in that doctor's stuff, there's no doubt about that, though whether its worth a shilling a bottle is another matter.' Just then I felt more queer than ever. 'Heugh! heugh!' There was a rattling and a kicking, and such commotion in my inside, and up came what I soon knew was the smoke-worms right out of my mouth, and overboard they went as I put my head over the gunwale. There was a bushel of them if there was one.

"Never afore nor since have I seen such things, for every mother's son had hairy backs and forked tails. Yes, gentlemen and ladies, forked tails and hairy backs. Believe Jerry Vincent for the truth of what he says. The moment they got into the water they began to frisk and frolic about as if it was natural to them, and to grow bigger and bigger and bigger, till the first which came up was as big as a frigate's jolly-boat. I made short work of it, and threw them all up till I felt there wasn't another morsel of any one of them in my locker. Then thinks I to myself, 'It's time to look out sharp, or some of these merry chaps with forked tails will be playing me a trick;' for you see that they'd already begun to open their mouths very wide, and to splash the water right over me as they whisked about round the boat, just like sharks in the West Indies. So I got out my oars pretty sharp, and began to pull away towards Spithead, thinking to get clear of them, and to carry my freight ash.o.r.e as I'd engaged to do. But I soon found that the smoke-worms weren't quite so ready to part company with me, and as my boat began to gather way, they began to swim after her. The big fellow led, and all the others followed. There was hundreds of them, of all sizes, and one little chap, who brought up the rear, was no bigger than a sprat. After me they came with open months and big red eyes, all the hair on their backs standing up, and their tails whisking about like the flukes of a whale in a flurry. Didn't I just pull for dear life, for I knew what they'd be after if they once grappled me. They would have swallowed me, every one of them. I soon gave up all thoughts of fetching up the ship I was bound for. It would never have done to have gone alongside one of his Majesty's crack frigates with such a train after me. I should have lost my character, you know. On I pulled; I didn't spare the oars, depend upon it; but, somehow or other, the way in which the tide set, and the manner in which the brutes dodged me, made me go right out to Spithead, and there I found myself pulling among a whole fleet of men-of-war and Indiamen. The officers and ships'

companies crowded into the hammock nettings and rigging to see me pa.s.s, and never have I heard such shouts of laughter as they raised as I pulled by. Neither to the one side nor to the other could I turn; for if I did, as surely one of the beasts would instantly swim up, with open mouth, and make a grab at my oar to keep me going straight ahead. I sung out to the people aboard the ships in mercy's name to take a shot at some of the bigger brutes, for I thought that I could grapple with the little ones; but either they didn't or wouldn't hear me; so away I pulled right out towards the Nab. Thinks I to myself, 'Perhaps the people in the lightship will lend a helping hand to an old seaman;' but not a bit of it. When they saw me coming with my train of forked-tailed brutes after me, they sung out that I must sheer off, or they would let fly at me. So there I was fairly at sea, followed by as disagreeable a set of customers as a man ever had astern of him.

"I didn't bless Doctor Gulliman exactly, for I could not help thinking that somehow or other he had had a hand in the mystification. I now pulled up my larboard oar a little, and found that I was going right round by the Culver cliffs. 'Well, I'll get on sh.o.r.e at the back of the Wight anyhow, and do them,' I thought to myself. But what do ye think; the moment I tried the dodge, the cunning brutes kept edging me off the land, till I saw that there was no hope for me but to go on. All the time they made such a tremendous hissing and splashing and whisking, that you'd have thought a whole ship's company was washing decks above your head, and heaving water about in bucketsful. It was now night, but there was light enough and to spare to enable me to see the beasts as they kept way with me. I pa.s.sed Sandown and Ventnor and Steephill, and could see the lights in the houses all along the sh.o.r.e; but as to being able to land, the wriggling brutes in my wake, as I said, took good care that I shouldn't do that. By the time I got off Saint Catherine's my arms began to ache a bit, and I felt as if I couldn't pull another stroke; but when I just lay on my oars to take breath and to knock the drops off my brow, which were falling down heavy enough to swamp the boat, the look of their wicked eyes and big mouths, as they came hissing up open-jawed alongside, set me off again pretty fast. I pa.s.sed Blackgang Chine, and caught a sight of Brooke, and then I thought I would try to pull into Freshwater Gate, when I would beach the boat, and have a run for my life on sh.o.r.e, for I didn't think they would come out of the water after me. The truth was that I couldn't bear the look of them any longer; but the wriggling beasts were up to me, and before I had so much as turned the boat's head towards the Gate, three or four of the biggest fellows ranged up on my starboard side, and cut me off. I sung out in my rage and disappointment, but this only made matters worse, and my eyes if they didn't begin to laugh at me, and such a laugh I never did hear before, and hope I never may again. It was like ten thousand donkeys troubled with sore throats trying which would sing out the loudest, and twice as many jackals mocking them, all joined in chorus. At last I got to Scratch.e.l.l's Bay. 'Now's my time,' thinks I, 'if they once get me on a course down Channel, they may drive me right round the world, or over to the coast of America at shortest.' I knew well the pa.s.sage through the Needle rocks. The flood was about making.

There might be just water for the boat, but none to spare. 'No odds,'

thinks I. So, while I pretended to be steering for Portland, I shoved the boat round, and then gave way with a will. 'If I knock the boat to pieces against the rocks, I shall not be worse off than I am now,' I said to myself, as I pulled for the pa.s.sage. I just hit it. The keel of the boat grazed over a rock below water; but the tide was running strong, and I shot through like an arrow, and there I was in Alum Bay.

Now the pa.s.sage was too narrow, you see, for the forked-tailed beasts to get through, and they had a good chance of hurting themselves on the rocks if they attempted it; so, if they had been as wise as I took them for, I knew that they would go all the way round the outer Needle rock, and that this would give me a great start. Instead of that, in their eagerness to follow me, what should they do but bolt right at the pa.s.sage. The big fellow stuck fast, and the little ones couldn't get by him, and there they were, to my great delight, all knocking their noses against the rocks, and wriggling and hissing and struggling and kicking up such a row, that I thought the people at Milford and Yarmouth, and all along the coast, would be awoke up out of their quiet sleep to wonder what it was all about. However, it would never have done for me to lay on my oars to watch the fun, because I thought it just as likely as not, when the tide rose, that the noisy brutes might shove through and be after me again, so I pulled away as hard as ever right up the Solent, till I got safe back again into Portsmouth harbour. Luckily, I had the whole of the flood with me, or I never could have done it. My arms ached as it was not a little. I moored my boat securely, and as it wasn't yet daybreak, I lay down in the bottom of the boat, and fell asleep. I never slept so soundly in my life, and no wonder, after the pull I had had.

"When I awoke the sun was shining out brightly, and I heard some one on board a vessel coming up the harbour hail and call somebody or other a drunken old rascal. Who he meant of course I couldn't tell; that was nothing to me. At last I sat up in my boat, and rubbed my eyes, and there was the doctor's bottles and the empty rum bottle and the can, without any water in it, just as I left them when I was taken ill. I half expected to see the whole troop of wriggling, twisting, forked-tailed smoke-worms coming up the harbour with the last of the flood; but though I looked out till the tide had done, they didn't come, and it's my belief that they knocked themselves about so much against the Needle rocks, that they put about and went down Channel; and all I can say is that I hope that every one of 'em was drowned or came to some other bad end out at sea, and that I may never as long as I live have such a night as the one I spent after taking Doctor Gulliman's physic.

Sarvant, marm and gentlemen, you'll agree that story is worth five shillings. Howsomedever, I never charges my friends, but gives them all free gratis and for nothing." And old Jerry gave one of his most knowing winks as he finished off his gla.s.s and took up his hat to prepare for his departure.

I ought perhaps to apologise for giving such a story; but it is a fair specimen of the style of narrative in which old seamen of Jerry Vincent's stamp are apt to indulge, and I have heard many such, though seldom told with so much spirit, during my career at sea.

CHAPTER EIGHT.

VISIT TO PLYMOUTH--BITTER DISAPPOINTMENT--MISS RUNDLE'S ACCOUNT OF CHARLEY--VOYAGE TO SHETLAND--WRECKED AGAIN--FALL AMONG FRIENDS--NEAR DEATH'S DOOR--HAPPY ENCOUNTER--DESCRIPTION OF SHETLAND--MY RESIDENCE THERE--MARRIED--SUMMONED SOUTHWARD.

I did not think that I should ever have got tired of living at Southsea with my kind aunt and fine hearty old uncle, but I had been so accustomed to a roving life and active employment, that in a little time I began to consider that I ought to be looking out for something to do.

What to do was the question. I had a fancy for staying on sh.o.r.e after having been knocked about at sea for so many years, and setting up in some business.

"What, have you forgotten Margaret Troall?" said my aunt to me one day.

The chord was struck. "No, indeed, I have not," said I; "I'll go and find her, and bring her back to you as my wife if she will have me."

I had given all my money to my uncle to have put safe in a bank for me.

The next day I drew thirty pounds of it, and shipped myself aboard a smack bound for Plymouth.

Strange as it may seem, all the time I had been on sh.o.r.e I had never once thought of my oath and its consequence, but scarcely had I got to sea than the recollection of it came back, and I fully expected that some accident would happen to me before I reached my destination. It did not, however. I landed in safety, and walked immediately up to the house where I hoped to find the old lady and her niece. How strange it seemed! I never felt in such a way before in my life. A child might have knocked me down. I got to the house. How well I knew it! I looked in, as I had done before, at the parlour window. I fully expected to see the old lady sitting in her arm-chair and knitting, as I had when I was last there. My heart jumped up right into my throat, and then down it went I don't know where. There was no old lady there; but there were three little children, fat, chubby, merry things, tumbling about head over heels on the floor, and shouting and shrieking with laughter, while a young woman sat on a low chair knitting and encouraging them in their gambols, while she rocked a cradle with her foot. "All sorts of strange thoughts came into my head. Who can she be, I wonder? Can it be?" I said. I looked at her very hard, but the gla.s.s was thick and dirty, and I could not make out her features. With a trembling hand I knocked at the door. A servant girl, after a little delay, opened it.

"Does Mrs Sandon live here?" I asked.

"No, she doesn't," was the short answer.

"Can you tell me where she lives?" I said.

"No; she does not live anywhere, she's dead," said the girl, who seemed determined not to throw a word away.

"Dead!" said I. "Dead! just like Granny," I muttered, scarcely knowing what I was saying. The girl was going to slam the door in my face.

"Can you tell me, my good girl, who that lady is in the parlour?" said I, stopping her.

"Yes, that's Mrs Jones," was the answer.

I was no wiser than before. "Can you tell me what her maiden name was?"

said I, in a low, trembling voice.

"Missus never was a maid-servant; she was always a lady, as she is now,"

answered the girl, with a toss of her head, again attempting to slam to the door.

"Stop, stop!" I exclaimed, in an agitated manner. "Can you tell me whether she was Mrs Sandon's niece?"

"She'd nothing to do with Mrs Sandon that I knows on," said the girl; "you're asking a lot of questions. You wouldn't, if master was at home."

I was fairly beaten. Just then I heard a footstep behind me, and on looking round, who should I see but Miss Rundle, tripping along the pavement up to her own door, looking as brisk and young as ever.

"Oh, Miss Rundle, I'm so glad to see you!" I exclaimed, forgetting all the proprieties, and running after her. "Can you tell me anything about my kind friends who lived in our old house, and where I met you last at tea?" I thought she would have shrieked out when she saw me--she looked so astonished.

"Why, who are you? where did you come from? What do you want? Why, I thought you were dead. You are not alive, are you?"

"I hope so, Miss Rundle. I fancy I am. I've done nothing to kill me lately, and I know that I was alive a short time ago," I answered, laughing in spite of my agitation.

"Well, if you are sure that you are alive, come in here and sit down and tell me all about it," said the little old lady, opening the door of her house with a latch-key which she drew from her pocket, and pointing to the parlour, which she signed to me to enter.