I have dreamed of my desires, some inappropriate scenes I am ashamed to say; I have seen failures, committed sins for my personal little pleasures. But still I am not tired of dreaming. People get exhausted from being not able to reach their goals one too many times. I am no different. I was tired from the events of life, it was hard to imagine a light at the end. I felt like I am not digging through a tunnel but a hole.
'To dream is to forget and forgetting doesn't weigh on us...'
I am never gonna stop fighting. The promise I made to Frank; nothing's stopping me.
-I want you to eat with me. Why won't you?
-Look honey, I have already told you I have had my dinner,- It was a lie. I knew that 'dinner' has probably upgraded from looking like some leftovers to actual leftovers by now.
-...okay.
-...(Sighs)how's the food anyway? I am not a good cook, probably tastes much worse than what your Dad makes,- Cooking was my one and only leisure interest when I was still with them. But like every other thing in my life it faded away.
-It's good...better than Dad's.
-Oh really?
-Yeah, but..
-..but?
-Not like Mom's.
-...(laughs)yeah...okay maybe next time I'll try something else.
-Right? You are going to make me something else?
-Hmm, maybe. But you are going to have to go to sleep after eating, deal?
-But I want to play with you all night. You're so nice to me.
-No sweetie. Tomorrow's a big day. Your Dad will stay with you all the time tomorrow. So you need to get plenty of rest to have a fun day.
-Oh. Is there a holiday or something special tomorrow?
-Ughh...yes. You could say that. There was...a reason for his day off, I believe.
-So, that means you're also free!
-I don't think..
-You need to come here. We'll have so fun together.
-That is not...actually...certain. You see I am a police and we don't get to have this holiday,- I was hiding behind something I could care less then. But it was already enough how much I have gotten myself into their life.
-...oh.
-I know you understand how mean big policeman can be. And they are my boss.
-It's alright. I know of them...I'm done here. Thank you for making food for me.
-Look, Jane. I am sorry. It may not be tomorrow but I promise I will come back here and cook dinner for you some other day.
-...
-Hey sweetheart? I promise. Next time? Okay?
-Yes.
-Yes? Now tell me something? Why do you like ramen so much? Your Mom's speciality I think.
-Yes. She used to make so tasty ramen. We both loved it.
-I see...okay, you go to bed. Let me clean up here first then I will come.
-Can I help you? I am used to doing dishes.
-Oh? Are you? Do you help your Dad?
-Yes.
-Wow, aren't you a cute little helper? But thanks. I should be done in a few minutes. Please go to your room.
-Hmm.
21:17
-Aren't you tired Jane?
-A little...yeah.
-I think we're gonna have ourselves a story. Where's your..
-Tell me about you.
-...me? There's nothing interesting to tell. Just boring. Unpleasant.
-But you are a hero. My mom said that police are a big hero of our society. You must have too much fun to takedown bad guys.
-...What do you think?
-I don't know...but I like you. You are a good girl Sel.
-Ohh(chuckles)thanks Sweetie.
-...good night.
-Yeah; good night.
-...
-...
-You're coming right? To see me again; n.o.body does. Everybody thinks I'm not well. So they keep away from us. You think I am crazy too?
-What? What...no. Why would I think of something that stupid?,- I won't say I totally understood what she had said. But I felt it was about the absence of her mother in her life. Which might have resulted in some incidents.
-Hmm. I know. Please come back tomorrow.
-...(a kiss on her cheeks)...go to sleep now,- If it was a dream I would have probably wanted to stay here longer but it was not. I was late, so I kept telling myself. The truth was in my sweetest dream I would have already achieved everything. So I wanted that to be as real as it could get.
.
.
I heard a car. Jane was sleeping and that means I must have dozed off after her. I couldn't comprehend but there was a female voice. And then the sound of boots. It was slowly coming closer...