An abandoned hospital. A forgotten cemetery. A
tunnel that had fallen into disuse. A sea of trees where the sun's light
couldn't reach.
He wasn't in any such place.
Let's say it was a completely ordinary
shopping mall out in the sticks. The kind of place that would fill you with
déjà vu the first time you visited it, a ma.s.s-produced mall with the same kinds
of stores as any other. But because it's the most convenient one in the region,
it's lively in its own way, with money changing hands and people strolling
about.
That kind of place.
Masato Yahara was in such a place.
"Why are you in a place like this, Masato?"
"'Cuz there's nothing here."
"Nothing? It's pretty lively, isn't it?"
"Then
go on, try to imagine somewhere with nothing in it. No people. No shops. No
street lights. No streets. Does a place like that seem normal to you? Could ya
stay in a place like that without feeling anything? You couldn't, could ya. A
place like that's already special. There's somethin' called 'nothingness'
there. And nothingness has too much of an impact. It's pretty d.a.m.n far from
feeling like there's nothing there."
"So
it's like… it's unnatural?"
"Yeah,
basically. And I can't stay in a place like that. I stand out too
much against nothingness. I become special. And an incomplete existence
like me can't stay like that."
"So
that's why you're here?"
"Yup.
Place like this lets me blend into day-to-day life, become h.o.m.ogenized, and not
feel anything. That's what I mean by 'there's nothing here'. ...Let's
call it 'nil' to differentiate it from nothingness. Nil exists in places where I
can exist unconsciously. I'm always right next to you. But nil is folded
up real small, so it penetrates the little holes in our day-to-day life and
makes you forget about it."
—Rattle,
rattle. Rattle, rattle.
"What's
that noise? Does it have something to do with nil?"
"Yeah.
That noise induces nil. As long as it exists, we're gonna keep getting absorbed
by nil."
"Is it
bad if that happens?"
"What,
you can't f.u.c.kin' tell? In nil, even a dead guy like me can exist. h.e.l.l, I
can exist just as well as you can. So basically, the kinds of oblivious guys
who live snuggled up in nil are worth the same as if they were dead. It means
their lives have s.h.i.+t for meaning or value."
"But,
there's lots of people like that."
"Exactly."
"Are
you one of them, Masato?"
"If I'm
not careful, I'll get engulfed."
"Is
that why you tried to break free?"
"Basically.
But I f.u.c.ked up."
—Rattle,
rattle. Rattle, rattle.
What a
grating noise. Every rattle makes me want to run away. It makes me want to
succ.u.mb to irritation.
"Masato…
I can't take it any more. I want to get out."
"You
could probably actually make it, Kou. In the end, all I was was ordinary.
I couldn't escape the noise. But you're different. You're special,
you're abnormal. You can definitely make it out. I'm sure of it."
"But,
what can I do?"
"Don't
worry."
Masato
spoke with a kind smile. He'd never smiled like that when he was alive.
"You
already know the way."
I, who was still just barely
"me", was melting. Melting like an ice cream cone that had been abandoned under
a blazing sun. Halfway between a liquid and a solid, I spread
unceremoniously across the ground and became worthless.
Becoming
worthless like this was no good. I had to find a purpose again.
Otherwise I would stop being human.
Then
someone interrupted my dissolution from within, bringing along a sound that
resembled chains.
Go
ahead, do as you will.
I,
Kouta Hiiragi, am "white".
I take
on the colors of others.
Go on,
I'm right here!
And
thus.
Masato
Yahara is right here.
From
then on, I acted automatically. I became no more than a machine
carrying out my duty. My field of view, perhaps the very world, became blurry
and unclear. I didn't know where to focus my sight. I couldn't
perceive the school grounds, which I should have been intimately
familiar with, as anything but a meaning flabby ma.s.s. It was like the world had
been overlaid by a mosaic. I hadn't lost any of my knowledge, so I
was able to go through the motions of everyday life. Like an NPC moving
according to its programming. But the ground felt unsteady. It felt unnatural
and unsettling, like the soles of my shoes were covered in a powerful gum.
In
accordance with the order that had come from deep within me, I was on
the roof. Against a backdrop of twilight stained in week-old blood, I stepped
solidly on the oddly-dirty concrete and looked down upon the gradually
depopulating townscape. Lined up on the street was a stream of kei cars[1], all
being sucked in by the flas.h.i.+est building in town: the pac.h.i.n.ko parlor.
A cheap
end to a cheap world.
An
obsolete townscape like that fit Shuuichi Akiyama perfectly. I wanted to dump
bird s.h.i.+t all over his honors student's gla.s.ses and post pictures of it on
Instagram. It would be satisfying as h.e.l.l, and I bet it'd get quite the
response.
Now
then, I'm going to thoroughly divulge everything about Shuuichi Akiyama.
I'm going to expose him, enumerate him, crush him piece by piece, and
pulverize him.
"What
did you hope to accomplish by calling me all the way up here, Hiiragi?"
Ignoring
Akiyama's question, I spoke.
"You
can come in now, Sudou."
Instead
of looking at the door she was coming through, I gauged Akiyama's
reaction. He was frantically hiding his emotions, but he couldn't fully contain
the look of surprise in his eyes.
"You're
the girl who was with Yahara, aren't you."
Not
knowing how much I knew, he gave a fairly safe remark.
"She's
given me a lot to think about. ...First of all, out with it. Why didn't you
come forward, even though you were the last one to see Masato?"
Akiyama
gazed reproachfully at Sudou. Following his line of sight, I laid eyes
on her for the first time since she'd arrived.
Her
long, unevenly-dyed hair was blowing in the wind, and she looked more
dishevelled than before. She was pale again today, too. Her habit of raising
the corners of her mouth was unchanged, but although that made it look like she
was smiling she was actually more frightened than normal.
She was
frightened.
Not of
Akiyama, but of me.
"Your
manner of speaking has become quite haughty, Hiiragi. Are you finally showing
your true colors? ...Well, that's fine. As for your answer, it's quite a simple
matter. The reason I didn't come forward was for her sake."
That
wasn't the answer I'd been expecting.
"What
do you mean? What in the world does she have to do with you not coming
forward?"
"Hmph.
It's something of a delicate matter, so I was hoping not to have to say it, but
now that it's come to this I suppose I have little choice. Our friend over
there had been seduced by Yahara and was on her way to a hotel with him. I
stayed silent because I would feel bad if I revealed that fact to the world."
"Didn't
you think that, just maybe, your testimony would be important to catching the
killer?"
"If I
deemed that to be the case, I would have ignored my qualms and come forward
immediately. My testimony would have been worthless. By no means would it have
helped the investigation whatsoever."
"Way to
go and decide that on your own. You never know what information might lead to
the killer, right?"
"Quite
so. They say that a b.u.t.terfly flapping its wings in one hemisphere can cause a
tornado in the other, and the same could of course be said about murder
investigations. But when I weighed that small chance against that young lady's
privacy, I chose the latter."
It was
a perfectly reasonable answer. And his voice had been steady throughout, almost
as if he had been expecting the question.
With
that, the reason I had initially suspected Akiyama vanished.
But
that didn't matter.
I no longer doubted Akiyama.
I had already decided that he was
the killer.
"Christ
you're obnoxious. Just f.u.c.king confess already."
Taken
aback at my harsh, exasperated words, Akiyama stiffened momentarily.
My
words were simply the result of unintentional candor, but to Akiyama they must
have seemed like a tactic to rattle him, because he shut his mouth and put on a
composed expression.
The
conversation heading in the direction seemed favorable to me, so I made
no effort to correct his misinterpretation.
"Alright,
next question then. When Yamazaki took his little fall, you were at the school,
weren't you. That's what she claims."
After
seemingly glaring at Sudou for an instant, he nodded with an, "Indeed."
"I was
quite fl.u.s.tered when I found out about the incident. I suppose I can't blame
you for being suspicious of the fact that I was at the school when Ryuusuke
Yamazaki fell from the roof. Although I was in the parking lot and not on the
roof, I didn't think that there was anyone who could corroborate my claim. I'm
not proud of it, but I had no choice but to protect myself. I had no idea that
there was somebody who saw me in that parking lot."
"Apparently
Yamazaki was screaming. Why didn't you notice anything?"
"That's
a difficult question to answer. I don't have much to say beyond that I simply
didn't notice. I was deep in thought at the time."
Akiyama
spread his arms exaggeratedly and shook his head.
Irritated
by his affected behavior, I heaved a heavy, antagonistic sigh.
"Well
then, how do we want to do this… Alright, let's go with that approach. Akiyama,
do you believe in ghosts?"
Akiyama's
eyes narrowed at my abrupt question.
"What's
this, all of a sudden? Ghosts? Must I really answer that question?"
"Yeah."
"...Very
well then. Ghosts, hm. There are no shortage of people who believe in them, so
I can't just unconditionally write off their potential existence. However, I
find it difficult to put much stock in something so unscientific. And with the
proliferation of digital cameras, pictures and films of ghosts have been
reduced to little more than fabricated entertainment. That is about where I
stand."
"Makes
sense. You would think that, wouldn't you. But even if you don't believe in
them, you wouldn't exactly go around kicking gravestones, would you? And you'd
still get creeped out by Suicide Forest[2], wouldn't you?"
"But of
course. Anyone would be on edge and seized by fear upon visiting Suicide
Forest."
"Right,
so scared you wouldn't have time to be deep in thought."
I could
hear Akiyama taking a deep breath. He was quick on the uptake and had probably
realized the purpose of my roundabout line of questioning.
"Maybe
it's not on the same level as Suicide Forest. But a school at night is plenty
creepy. An outrageous, distorted inst.i.tution that crams a bunch of kids
together and gives them all the same instructions. When night rolls around,
that distortion stands out bright. It creates an atmosphere that pushes people
away, so much so that someone once told me it was a barrier. It's one thing for
a bunch of people to come together and shoot off fireworks, but there's no way
one guy's gonna come to school alone at night and get lost in thought."
I stared coldly at Akiyama.
"And
you wanna tell me that under those circ.u.mstances, you didn't hear Yamazaki's
scream?"
After a
slight pause, Akiyama replied.
"...I
didn't hear it. I'm dumbfounded by my own thickheadedness."
Even if
forced to admit unseemly things, Akiyama still feigned innocence. I
supposed it was the proper reaction if he wanted to dodge the issue. Suspicious
as he was, this wouldn't make for proof.
But I
was cornering him bit by bit. I could see in his face that he was
wondering if he had left behind any definitive evidence.
He
probably didn't realize it, but he was remarkably easy to read.
"Next
up, let's figure out a way to make someone fall off the roof from down in the
parking lot."
Akiyama
raised an eyebrow.
"...Does
such a method even exist?"
Sudou
interjected almost reflexively.
"If
it's a trick you're looking for, there's plenty one could use. Just to make
sure, Sudou, but all you saw was that Akiyama was in the parking lot, and not
what he was doing. Is that right?"
"Y...yes…"
"As you
can see, the parking lot is pretty far from the roof. But, and you can confirm
this from here, there's a clear line of sight, so you can easily see what's
going on up here from down there. And even though they've been talking about
putting up a new fence up here for forever, there still isn't one. There was an
incident, so it makes even more sense now, but this place has been off-limits
for a while. If you're standing at the edge of the roof, all it'd take is a
little push and down you'd go."
I revealed what I had been
hiding in my pocket.
"What
is that?"
I
answered Sudou, whose face showed visible signs of relief.
"It's
the remote for a drone."
As I
flicked a switch and tilted a lever, the drone I had placed on the roof
ahead of time took off. There was a cord of red yarn attached to its camera,
the other end of which was firmly fastened around the doork.n.o.b.
"Sudou,
would you mind not moving for a bit? I'm a beginner at this whole drone
thing, so flying this is a little tough."
As
instructed, Sudou stiffened her body. I then maneuvered the drone
towards her back. As the yarn drew taught, Sudou received a solid thump to the
back and stumbled a step forwards.
If she
had been on the edge of the roof, she would have certainly fallen.
"I
chose red yarn so it'd be easy to see, but it would be even more feasible with
something stronger like piano wire. If you operated it well, you could easily
use this setup to push Yamazaki and send him off the edge."
As I
unveiled the trick, Akiyama just stared silently at me.
But his
lips had lost their tension.
"...Fufu."
Little
by little, his mask was peeling off. I could almost hear the tearing
sound. His hideous true self distorted and expanded, making it impossible for
the mask to stay on. His naked expression laid bare his exclusive true form.
No
matter how hard he tried to conceal it, he could hide it no more.
—Akiyama
was broken.
Ahh… I
was successful.
My goal
of exposing him was steadily coming to fruition.
"Hiiragi,
I'm disappointed in you."
"How
so?"
I posed my question, still
sneering.
"You
don't realize it? Your trick is riddled with holes. First of all, operating a
drone like that at night is impossible. Was the sky clear that day? I don't
remember, but even if it had been possible to make out the drone by moonlight,
it would be far too difficult to maneuver the drone exactly as you wanted. Just
as you yourself were struggling just now. In order to put this trick of yours
into practice, you would need to practice during the day to even have a chance
at pulling it off. But this is a school. If you tried to do that, even on a
holiday, you would be sure to catch someone's attention. Practicing would be
impossible. And the final nail in your coffin is the noise from the propeller.
It's inconceivable that, being at the scene of the incident, she would have
heard the scream but not the propeller."
"Well,
you're not wrong."
"And
furthermore, I own nothing resembling a drone. If you look into it, you can
verify that easily."
Having
trounced my crude trick, his face filled with triumph.
His
triumphant face was so comical, I couldn't help but let out a scornful
laugh.
"What's
so funny?"
"Don't
go jumping to conclusions on me, now. I mean, I wanted to see
what kind of face you'd make, so I let you just to conclusions, but
still. Who the h.e.l.l said anything about you killing Yamazaki with this trick? I
told you, didn't I. There's plenty of tricks one could use."
"What
do you mean by that?"
"What
was I trying to prove with this experiment? There are certainly ways to
make Yamazaki fall while you're in the parking lot. But they're all meaningless
tricks like that one. This isn't some mystery novel; even if the trick isn't
exposed, once you're suspected that's it for you. The cops'll take you in on
circ.u.mstantial evidence, and once you confess during the interrogation,
n.o.body'll care about how elaborate your trick was. The minute you let yourself
fall under suspicion, your plan failed. And you know that just as well as I
do. But you let your misgivings get the best of you, and you ended up at the
school that night."
The one
I looked at now was not Akiyama but Sudou. Just as I predicted,
her look of relief from earlier had vanished, replaced once more by paleness.
"In
other words, this incident was beyond your expectations."
I went on, sneering all the
while.
"There
were two points I was trying to make there. The first is that this place
is so dangerous, even a lame trick like my stunt with the drone could
legitimately kill someone. The next is that if someone pushed Yamazaki, even by
accident, he could easily have fallen."
I slapped Yamazaki's killer on
the back.
"Isn't
that right, Sudou?"
"—eep."
Sudou
had been terrified when she was talking to me. She had been desperately trying
to avoid having me suspect that she was hiding something.
But
there was no way she could hide something like that from the "white" Kouta
Hiiragi.
"Sudou,
you referred to Akiyama as 'the bespectacled guy' as if you didn't know who he
was, right? But given how obsessed with Masato you were, you were looking for
leads regarding his murder, right? The minute you decided to seek out the
truth, it would have been obvious what you needed to look into first. The last
person to interact with Masato, his cla.s.smate with the gla.s.ses. Shuuichi
Akiyama. It would be absurd for you to look into me before you investigated
him, don't you think?"
"...Uu,
ah..."
"But
you hid that fact from me. It goes without saying that that was because that
information was inconvenient for you. You thought that if I talked to
Akiyama in any detail, my suspicions about Yamazaki's killer would turn to
you."
Perhaps
to keep her from confessing, Akiyama moved between myself and Sudou as if
trying to conceal her. Although she was trying to feign composure, she couldn't
begin to contain her trembling. What a shy girl she was.
"So in
short, I ordered Sudou to push Yamazaki off the roof. Is that what you want to
say? Why, I didn't even have a motive for wanting Yamazaki dead."
"Oh,
but you did. He was complicit in Masato's death, right? I bet you made
him transport the body."
That
was probably what had happened. Akiyama's reactions had already pa.s.sed surprise
and moved to downright panic. But no matter how obvious it was, he still
frantically tried to keep up appearances.
"...That
delusion of yours likely stems from having seen Yamazaki looking for me the
other day. But we can set your delusions aside for a moment. Now,
hypothetically speaking, let's say that I did have a motive for wanting him
dead. Even then, how could I induce her to kill? We aren't even acquaintances,
so there's no way she would follow such a command. And even if I had convinced
her, don't you think it a bit odd that I would go out of my way to come to
school at the time of the murder?"
"You
just don't know when to give up, do you. I just said it; this incident was
beyond your expectations. Sudou never had any intention of killing Yamazaki.
His fall was nothing more than an accident."
"Your
speculations become more and more preposterous. There are simply too many
coincidences in your theory. Whether or not there was a fence, there's no way
he'd simply fall."
"The
first thing we have to figure out is why the two of them were on the roof in
the first place. It's off-limits, and what's more, it was late at night. Of
course, the meeting must have been arranged beforehand, but it's difficult to
imagine Sudou having any reason to meet with Yamazaki directly. The one she was
really on the roof to meet was you, Akiyama."
Akiyama
scrunched up his face a bit.
"Sudou
was probably pretty surprised when she got to the roof and found out she'd been
tricked. Some happened that was so surprising that she accidentally pushed him
off. ...Now, this is just me guess, but did it perhaps seem like Yamazaki was
going to rape her?"
Sudou
was trembling and holding herself tightly. Based on her behavior, it looked
like my speculation was on the mark.
"I
mean, it's Yamazaki we're talking about. He was probably shaking you down for
hush money, so you decided to take advantage of his greed. 'I can't get you the
money now, but I can get you a girl instead.' Something along those lines,
right?"
"I… He
told me that a man was waiting for me on the roof who could tell me about the
murder…"
"Well,
of course you didn't know about the give-and-take that you were being made a
part of. And after being attacked by Yamazaki, you resisted. And because you
don't go to this school, and because it was late at night and hard to see, you
probably didn't realize that there wasn't a fence. So you pushed Yamazaki away
with all your might, and—"
Splat.
"He
ended up falling to his death."
"Ah,
ahhhh…"
Sudou
collapsed on the spot.
Her
obsession with Masato hadn't been the only cause of her poor condition. Even if
it hadn't been intentional, the sin of murder still weighed heavy on her. That,
combined with the fact that she had to hide it from me, must have put enormous
pressure on her.
Akiyama
gazed at Sudou's fallen figure, his eyes as cold as if he were looking at
trash.
"Akiyama's
true objective in calling Sudou to the roof wasn't to have her kill Yamazaki.
His plan was to become your ally after you had been raped, then to add you as a
partner under the pretext of taking revenge on Yamazaki. Even if he couldn't
inspire you to want to kill Yamazaki, he was hoping to at least trick you to
the point where he would be able to use you. I can only guess at how he
eventually planned on killing Yamazaki, but plenty of methods would have
worked. For example, he could have given you a lethal poison to give to
Yamazaki but told you it was a sleep medication. He could have told you to
shoot Yamazaki with a model gun, only for the gun he provided to be real. Those
were just off the top of my head, but you get the idea. The moment he made you
his partner, Akiyama's plan would have been basically put into place. He would
make you kill Yamazaki while he maintained a firm alibi. That was all he
needed. ...And after that, well… Sudou, Akiyama never gave you a way to contact
him, did he?"
Still
sitting on the ground, Sudou nodded.
"Do you
know why? Because it would be a problem for him if it could be proven that you
two ever interacted. All he had to do to avoid suspicion from the police was to
make them think the two of you hadn't met by the time you were made to kill
Yamazaki."
"B-but
I myself knew… And if the police caught me, there's no way I'd be able to keep
silent…"
"All
that means is that he had to kill you before it got to that point. Like, you
killed Yamazaki out of hatred for him raping you, but then you couldn't bear
the weight of your sins and committed suicide. He probably planned on using
some plausible scenario like that."
Sudou's
eyes went wide, and she looked at Akiyama.
Akiyama
no longer took any notice of her.
"Why is
it, I wonder? For some reason, I know exactly how this b.a.s.t.a.r.d
thinks. Sudou, why do you think he chose you as an accomplice in the first place?
It's because you're the kind of person he wouldn't mind throwing to the wolves…
h.e.l.l, he probably thinks that you deserve to die. After all, you were gonna
sleep with Masato Yahara the first time you met him. After all, men are
creatures who view unchaste women as worthless. That's why so many serial
killers go after hookers; they barely feel any guilt. I'm sure that's
why Akiyama thought you'd make an excellent 'stepping stone' for him to carry
out justice with."
Sudou
could no longer bear to even look at Akiyama.
"Your
words are all baseless. You've managed to spin quite the tale, especially in
the face of the fact that she wasn't even raped."
But his
voice sounded like he lacked the will to even bluff.
"Then
let's not talk about your plans, and talk about what you actually did instead.
After she killed Yamazaki, your biggest concern was that Sudou would turn
herself in. After she did, all your crimes would be exposed one after another.
You probably wanted to kill her, huh. And to buy time until then, you pretended
to lend a sympathetic ear, lied and said you'd help her, and ordered her not to
tell anyone else. You wouldn't be able to handle it if any information got out,
after all."
I glanced at Sudou's expression
to confirm my theory, but she was staring off into s.p.a.ce and no longer
responsive.
"But
Sudou didn't follow your directions, she came and talked to me before you could
kill her. She wanted to know the truth of the incident so badly she couldn't
help herself. And you can hardly blame her, after the curse Masato put on her.
That's something you needed to realize if you were going to use her. But this
is you we're talking about. You're probably under the misimpression that
Sudou's idiocy let me figure out the truth. But that's completely wrong. After
all, you were the one trying to use her. Your big failure was not realizing
that she would come talk to me despite being told to keep quiet. That was your
mistake."
Still
grinning, I spit out my next words.
"Get it
now, you incompetent excuse for a cla.s.s rep?"
"...Me?
Incompetent?"
At that
provocation, Akiyama's previously controlled expression s.h.i.+fted radically.
Of
course. Questioning his ability to carry out his duty would resonate with him
more than anything else. His pride was far too high to ever admit to his own
failure. To that end, he was even willing to disfigure the truth.
"Impossible.
Every choice I made was correct and proper. I could not possibly have
blundered. This incompetent girl simply stood in my way and made a mess of
everything!"
Unable
to contain his rage, Akiyama foolishly acknowledged everything he'd done. A wry
laugh escaped my lips.
"Nah, that's
not it. You just weren't up to snuff. You're just fundamentally bad at using
others. And you're definitely no magus. It's you we're talking about, after
all. You seem to think that everyone else lives under the same value system you
do. You can only measure with your own scales, so nothing ever goes the way you
plan. Come on, man, not everyone lives in the same d.a.m.n world as you."
"You're
babbling. There only is one world, is there not? Everyone lives in the same
world."
"You
see a rabbit pounding mochi when you look at the moon, of course you'd
think that. You don't understand a d.a.m.n thing about what people are like behind
closed doors. So you can't understand anything about other people. If you want
to understand people, you have to start by realizing that you can never really
know everything about someone. But you'll probably never really understand
that, huh."
In
response to my words, Akiyama knit his eyebrows. But before long, he let out a
laugh that would put any B movie villain to shame.
"What,
did I hurt your feelings or something?"
"Fufu…
It seems I was right after all. Your remarks reveal your dogged insistence on
manipulating others. You really do like manipulating others into doing your
dirty work, don't you? And you riled up all of our campus's freaks for sport.
Of course, Masato Yahara was one of them. Depending on how you look at it,
perhaps he was a victim too. You were the ringleader behind this whole
incident, evil in the flesh. So I suppose you learning the truth of this
incident—"
His eyes,
glittering with a dull light like the scales of a fresh fish, turned to me.
"—was
merely a blessing in disguise."
Ahh,
this guy.
He
really didn't understand anything.
He
didn't even realize that his malice far surpa.s.sed that of anyone else.
"Why
are you smiling, Hiiragi? It seems you don't realize the situation you're in."
"You're
the one who doesn't know what's going on. Did you really think I just
called you up here to tell you that I knew everything?"
"...Are
you saying you didn't?"
"I'm
not planning on handing you over to the police. I have no intention of
being so lenient. To be honest, I don't even give a s.h.i.+t if you're
really the killer. I just can't stand you, so I'm going to
completely pulverize you. But even though I've already exposed so much,
you haven't shown a hint of remorse. You just got all defiant and went back to
your little make-believe world. Honestly, I didn't think you were going
to be this stupid, you f.u.c.king jacka.s.s."
I pulled out my phone.
"So now
you've left me with no choice but to rely on my last resort."
I called a certain number. I
had made them promise to come as soon as they received a call from me.
As I
put my phone away, I spread my arms and laughed.
"Now
then, let's see how much filthy pus you've got built up in there."
Footsteps
rang out from the stairs, and the door to the roof swung open.
"Kusukusu…
kusukusukusu…"
The
girl seemed unable to contain her peculiar laugh, which sounded like it was
coming from a gap in her teeth, in antic.i.p.ation of what we were about to do.
"Hiiragi,
I'm here!"
Her
bangs were cut diagonally, and her hair was braided in the back. Her childlike
face and short stature contrasted with her large bust, she was a deeply
immoral-looking high schooler.
Twisting
even her malice into innocence, her unsullied mind was that of a saintly fool.
An
"apparatus" I had been keeping in reserve.
Her
rainbow-colored eyes looked like a drainage ditch filled with salad oil, and as
she turned them to Akiyama she raised her voice in disappointment.
"...Ehh…
Like, there's a sorta boring guy here… Hiiragi, you said there'd be something
interesting up here, but this guy's just a common old dull red."
Confused,
Akiyama was clearly panicking.
Up
until now, Akiyama had always planned on retaking the initiative. No matter how
close I got to the truth, all he thought he had to do was eventually
kill me.
But in
spite of how dense he was, he realized. That now that Ririko Matsumi, who had
the power to destroy everything, was here, the situation had changed. That now,
the place he was standing was no longer his stage.
There
was no way someone like him knew of an easy way to control this twisted world,
which was like a candy sculpture halfway through production.
"At
this rate, Akiyama, if I just shove the truth in front of you, you'd
just pervert it to suit your own self-righteousness and escape the violence I'm
trying to cause you. If I want to crush you, I first have to
teach you how to be afraid, or I'm not going to get anywhere. ....Matsumi-senpai."
"Aye
aye!"
Glaring
at Shuuichi Akiyama, I spit out my next words.
"Scan
s.h.i.+ho Sudou."
Still
sitting in shock, Sudou raised her head in surprise. She probably hadn't
expected to be thrust into the spotlight again. But it couldn't be helped. She
was clearly a member of the supporting cast here.
And
now, she would taking the starring role.
"Sorry,
s.h.i.+ho Sudou."
I wasn't even looking at the
uninteresting girl.
"This
was the real reason I brought you here. Just like how there needs to be
a scene where someone dies at the beginning of any killing game novel, there
needed to be a tutorial for Akiyama here."
So for
the sake of the story, I need you to fall into despair.
"So I
just have to scan that girl over there? Okey dokey—"
In her
innocence, Matsumi-senpai hadn't picked up on any of my malice. I simply
tripped her kindness and regressed her from a human to a machine.
"Beep
bibibi, beep beep bibibibibi."
Her
eyes went out of focus. But she was definitely perceiving s.h.i.+ho Sudou's core.
"What?
What's going on?"
Anyone
watching would no doubt be confused. Even if you didn't know exactly what she
was doing, it was clear that it was nothing good. Even if you couldn't tell
what was inside the jack-in-the-box, it definitely wasn't going to be anything
pleasant.
"Beep bibibi, beep beep bibibibibi. ⸻Scanning
complete."
"Good
work, Senpai. Now, would you mind verbalizing it for us?"
"Sure!"
Sudou
trembled in fear at Ririko Matsumi's eccentricity. She had been used by
Akiyama, made to bear his sins, and now I was going to crush her. What a
pitiable girl she was.
I felt guilty.
—Rattle,
rattle. Rattle, rattle.
But
those feelings of guilt were drowned out by the auditory hallucinations.
"s.h.i.+HO
SUDOU, age sixteen."
Would
she have known that name, even if I hadn't told her? I only
half-knew how her scanning even worked.
"A
second-year at the private Sakisei Academy. Lives with her birth mother, her
stepfather, and her older stepbrother. Her house has four bedrooms. Her room,
which is on the second floor, is so messy that there's nowhere to stand. Her
father is a civil servant, her mother is a housewife, and their family finances
are stable. Her clingy nature makes her disastrously bad at reading the mood,
and she doesn't have many friends. Her few friends often betray her. She does
not currently have a boyfriend, but she has slept with two men."
"Huh?
What? What's going on…?"
Sudou
still didn't understand what had just been begun. Judging from her pale lips,
all she understood was that it was something terrifying.
"Presuming
that she is involved, she is thoroughly obsessed with Masato Yahara's incident.
She killed Ryuusuke Yamazaki by pus.h.i.+ng him off this roof. She has tried to
kill herself twice before. However, not even her parents showed her any
sympathy. She is lonely. She is lonely. She has a strong inferiority complex in
regards to her looks and academic ability."
The
things she tried to hide, the things she needed to hide, were being exposed in
front of all of us.
No
longer able to even speak, Sudou's eyes were bugging out at Matsumi-senpai as
though she were looking at the Devil.
"She
has both been bullied and bullied others. She strongly desires power. She fears
the strong, yet is jealous of them, and she finds the weak rea.s.suring, yet
despises them. She lacks willpower. She is bad at forming habits. She is not a
morning person. She dislikes using stamps on LINE. She enjoys spending time on
p.o.r.nographic websites."
People,
surprisingly, don't know themselves particularly well. So when a fortuneteller
or a swindler makes surprising inferences from just their personality, they
believe in the illusion that their true nature had been probed into.
But
what Ririko Matsumi does is expose them objectively.
Everyone
wants to believe that they're special. They want to possess some sort of unique
ident.i.ty. Some would even go so far as to say that not being special is the
same as being worthless.
But
although this may seem obvious, the vast majority of people aren't anything
even approaching special. And whether they are or not, they're too small to
ever change the world. One person can't save the world, nor can they destroy
it.
And
s.h.i.+ho Sudou was no exception. What became eminently clear when her true nature
was exposed like this was that she was the kind of common, ordinary person that
you could find anywhere. The reality of it was that she was inferior, not
superior.
           She had been trying to avoid looking straight at
that reality despite becoming gradually aware of it, but now it had been firmly
thrust upon her.
"She
has been coerced a number of times by her NEET brother to have physical
relations. Although she despises him, she relishes the feeling of being
desired. Her father also views her in a s.e.xual light. She is aware that her
mother is jealous of her as a woman. As a result, she doesn't feel like her
home is somewhere she belongs. She hates her home. She doesn't feel like her
school is somewhere she belongs. She hates her school. She doesn't feel like
society is somewhere she belongs. She hates the world for being unkind to her.
She wishes it were kinder to her. She wishes she were held more dearly. But she
doesn't care. She doesn't care what happens to her. But she doesn't want to be
ignored. She wants to be saved. She wants to be saved—"
"Stop
it! Stop it already! Stop, stop, stop!"
Wailing,
Sudou tried to lunge at Matsumi-senpai. But I had antic.i.p.ated that, and
stopped her by holding her down. She soon stopped resisting and, drained of
strength, collapsed on the spot.
Without
moving, Sudou began crying like an animal.
The
exposed viscera inside her was unsurprisingly grotesque. That was all there was
to it, but that alone was as intense as could be.
"Wah.
Why are you crying? Now I feel all sorry…"
Ririko
Matsumi had no idea how cruel a thing it was to expose somebody to the world.
And she could hardly be blamed for that; to her, being able to see everything
was the only condition she knew.
Looking
down on the sobbing s.h.i.+ho Sudou, I felt like I understood why she
had been to fixed on on Masato's incident.
s.h.i.+ho
Sudou was full of openings. And she didn't much care what she filled those
holes with. She just needed something that let her believe that her existence
was important.
So she
embroiled herself in a murder investigation, thinking that perhaps she could
play a key role. It was a tragedy, but ironically therein lie the meaning that
she had been seeking. By pursuing the truth behind the incident, she could
escape from the idleness she felt plaguing her life.
It was
no secret that she was full of openings. And regrettably, everyone around her
took advantage of them. Her family did, her cla.s.smates did, Masato Yahara did,
Shuuichi Akiyama did, and I did. Without someone to protect them, a
person with such openings had no choice but to used by others.
—Someone
to protect them.
—A
person filled with openings.
It was
an a.s.sessment I had heard somewhere before.
But I
wasn't going to think too deeply about it.
In any
case, s.h.i.+ho Sudou wouldn't be able to go back to normal after having her heart
rudely trampled all over like that. Once a person has their existence put into
words and forced upon them, they can no longer flee from their sins. She would
probably end up turning herself in, after which the inquisitive eyes of both
the media and the world would see her as a murderer and violate her by digging
up her past and family circ.u.mstances. I didn't know if she'd be able to
recover from that or not.
s.h.i.+ho
Sudou's end was here.
"My
condolences."
I put my hands together
perfunctorily.
"Now
then, what's become of you?"
I turned to face Akiyama. Just as
I expected, his face had gone pale and he was trembling in fear.
He must
have known instinctive what would happen if his insides got exposed.
"...Your
actions cannot help but confirm it. The one who induced Yahara to try to kill
me was you — Kouta Hiiragi."
I heaved a sigh in exasperation
at his inane comment.
"Are
you still going on about that? In the first place, aren't you the one
who killed Masato?"
"The
fact that he tried to kill me is beyond a doubt the truth."
So in
other words, the reason he ended up killing Masato was because Masato tried to
kill him first and he fought back?
...That
makes sense. The last piece of the puzzle slid into place.
 "Okay,
I get it now. What's manipulating you — no, what's manipulating all of
us, what's controlling us, isn't me. I don't have that kind of power."
"What…?"
"The
thing that led us all to this point is Masato."
Akiyama's
eyes widened.
"In a
way, we're victims of the bomb he set off. I got dyed in him, and you
got destroyed by him."
"...You
say I was destroyed?"
"Wouldja
just f.u.c.king notice it already? You're pretty far off-sync with your ideal
self. Off-sync with your sensible, exemplary self. Think about it. You've been
going around killing people you see as evil. Is that really in line with your
ideals? Is a barbaric ideology like that really your idea of justice?"
His
eyes still wide, Akiyama didn't say a word.
All he
had to do was self-reflect for an instant and he'd know the answer.
There
was no way that's what his ideals looked like.
"That
what was it that made you like this? Did you really think that killing me and
Yamazaki was the right thing to do? Whose idea was that?"
That's
right, Shuuichi, remember.
I don't even need to invoke his
name. Those feelings that you're fleeing from were your true feelings all
along.
Now
then — tremble in fear.
"Matsumi-senpai.
Scan Shuuichi Akiyama for me, would you?"
And
fall into despair.
"You
got it!"
Ririko
Matsumi was an insane, deadly weapon. It was the Devil's own magic, and it
could thoroughly drive Akiyama into a corner.
"Beep
bibi, beep bibibi…"
"...Stop
it…"
"Beep
bibibi, beep bibibi…"
"STOP
ITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!"
In a
fit of madness, Akiyama lunged at Matsumi-senpai.
"Kyah!"
Returning
to her senses, Matsumi-senpai gave out a shriek. Akiyama was leaning over her
collapsed figure with his fists raised. Her unseemly shriek was only natural.
I drew near Akiyama. Taking no
heed of me, Akiyama was about to continue hitting Matsumi-senpai — continue
hitting the truth that was about to be revealed, but he stopped when he noticed
what I was pressing against him.
"Kouta,
Hiiragi… You're…"
I was pressing a fruit knife
against the nape of his neck.
"...You
understand, right? I'm dead serious. If you keep getting violent like
this, you're going to find your neck short a few arteries."
Although
a moment ago she had been being punched and looked as though she was about to
cry, the fear vanished from Matsumi-senpai's face in an instant and was
replaced with surprised glee.
"Huh?
What's going on, what's going on?"
Her
cheeks lit up in excitement.
"Tanihara's
supposed to be dead, so why are you him?"
—Rattle,
rattle. Rattle, rattle.
The
blade still flush with his nape, Akiyama peered into my eyes.
"You're
not Kouta Hiiragi… Masato Yahara…? No, that's ridiculous… But now that I think
back, everything you've done and said has been just like him. You're even
putting a knife to me the same way he did."
"Well,
that's 'cause I am Masato Yahara."
"...Are
you saying that you're acting as his proxy?"
"Oh,
it's nothing so half-a.s.sed as that. All I have to do is ask, and Kou'll
give over his body in a heartbeat. I am Masato Yahara himself."
"Why
would you do something like that!?"
"For
revenge, of course."
—Rattle,
rattle. Rattle, rattle.
"That's
why I didn't care about exposing your crimes. My true objective, well
that's—"
"—to
trample over Shuuichi Akiyama's body and spirit, then kill him."
Akiyama
was silent. He knew very well the danger he was in.
After
all, we had both had our moral foundations destroyed by Masato Yahara.
"If I
have her scan you, it'll definitely destroy your spirit, but that won't even be
necessary. Just explaining how messed up in the head you are will be plenty."
I in close to his ear and
whispered.
"You're
an honors student, and you believe that everything you do is just. That in and
of itself proves that your self-a.s.sessment is soft. You spend so much time
preparing escape routes for yourself, arming yourself with ideological
arguments. Even when you committed the grave sin of murder, you couldn't bear
not justifying it. Even though you normally would have thought it insane, you
had to build up a desire to kill us."
"...Stop
it...Not another word…"
I had no intention of stopping.
"After
you killed me, you had no choice but to rationalize murder."
I spat out the phrase that would
finalize his destruction.
"You
never really wanted to kill me."
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"
—Rattle,
rattle. Rattle, rattle. Rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle,
rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle,
rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle,
rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle,
rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle,
rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle,
rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle,
rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle,
rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle,
rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle,
rattle, rattle.
G.o.d,
it's obnoxious.
This
guy's chains really are louder than anyone else's.
The
knife was in my hand. Akiyama could no longer resist. There was no reason to
hesitate. One push, and my revenge would be complete. There wasn't a single
reason to waver. There wasn't a single thing that could stop me. All I
had to do was slash a shattered man with a knife. It was as simple as that.
I put my strength into the hand
holding the knife.
I just needed to give in to my
desire to kill.
And I
could finally escape from this "nil," this feeling that I was in a
ma.s.s-produced shopping mall!
"Noooooooo!"
I could hear footsteps running
towards me, along with a voice I recognized.
But
compared to the voice—
—Rattle,
rattle. Rattle, rattle. Rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle,
rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle,
rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle,
rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle,
rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle,
rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle,
rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle,
rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle,
rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle,
rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle,
rattle, rattle.
The
sound of chains was far louder.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kei_car
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aokigahara