"And where are you going then?"
"To the farm just by. Grindhusen's fixed it up for us to go and dig potatoes there...."
Then came the work in the kitchen; I had to saw through the floor there.
Frken Elisabeth came in once or twice while I was there; it could hardly have been otherwise, seeing it was the kitchen. And for all her dislike of me, she managed to say a word or two, and stand looking at the work a little.
"Only fancy, Oline," she said to the maid, "when it's all done, and you'll only have to turn on a tap."
But Oline, who was old, did not look anyways delighted. It was like going against Providence, she said, to go sending water through a pipe right into the house. She'd carried all the water she'd a use for these twenty years; what was she to do now?
"Take a rest," said I.
"Rest, indeed! We're made to work, I take it, not to rest."
"And sew things against the time you get married," said Frken Elisabeth, with a smile.
It was only girlish talk, but I was grateful to her for taking a little part in the talk with us, and staying there for a while. And heavens, how I did try to behave, and talk smartly and sensibly, showing off like a boy. I remember it still. Then suddenly Frken Elisabeth seemed to remember it wasn't proper for her to stay out here with us any longer, and so she went.
That evening I went up to the churchyard, as I had done so many times before, but seeing Frkenen already there, I turned away, and took myself off into the woods. And afterwards I thought: now she will surely be touched by my humility, and think: poor fellow, he showed real delicacy in that. And the next thing, of course, was to imagine her coming after me. I would get up from the stone where I was sitting, and give a greeting. Then she would be a little embarra.s.sed, and say: "I was just going for a walk--it's such a lovely evening--what are you doing here?" "Just sitting here," say I, with innocent eyes, as if my thoughts had been far away. And when she hears that I was just sitting there in the late of the evening, she must realize that I am a dreamer and a soul of unknown depth, and then she falls in love with me....
She was in the churchyard again the following evening, and a thought of high conceit flew suddenly into my mind: it was myself she came to see!
But, watching her more closely, I saw that she was busy, doing something about a grave, so it was not me she had come for. I stole away up to the big ant-heap in the wood and watched the insects as long as I could see; afterwards, I sat listening to the falling cones and cl.u.s.ters of rowan berries. I hummed a tune, and whispered to myself and thought; now and again I had to get up and walk a little to get warm. The hours pa.s.sed, the night came on, and I was so in love I walked there bare-headed, letting myself be stared out of all countenance by the stars.
"How's the time?" Grindhusen might ask when I came back to the barn.
"Just gone eleven," I would say, though it might be two or three in the morning.
"Huh! And a nice time to be coming to bed. _Fansmagt!_ Waking folk up when they've been sleeping decently!"
And Grindhusen turns over on the other side, to fall asleep again in a moment. There was no trouble with Grindhusen.
Eyah, it's over-foolish of a man to fall in love when he's getting on in years. And who was it set out to show there _was_ a way to quiet and peace of mind?
X
A man came out for his bricklayer's tools; he wanted them back. What?
Then Grindhusen had not stolen them at all! But it was always the same with Grindhusen: commonplace, dull, and ordinary, never great in anything, never a lofty mind.
I said:
"You, Grindhusen, there's nothing in you but eat and sleep and work.
Here's a man come for those tools now. So you only borrowed them; that's all you're good for. I wouldn't be you for anything."
"Don't be a fool," said Grindhusen.
He was offended now, but I got him round again, as I had done so many times before, by pretending I had only spoken in jest.
"What are we to do now?" he asked.
"You'll manage it all right," said I.
"Manage it--will I?"
"Yes, or I am much mistaken."
And Grindhusen was pacified once more.
But at the midday rest, when I was cutting his hair, I put him out of temper once again by suggesting he should wash his head.
"A man of your age ought to know better than to talk such stuff," he said.
And Heaven knows but he may have been right. His red thatch of hair was thick as ever, for all he'd grandchildren of his own....
Now what was coming to that barn of ours? Were spirits about? Who had been in there one day suddenly and cleaned the place and made all comfortable and neat? Grindhusen and I had each our own bedplace; I had bought a couple of rugs, but he turned in every night fully dressed, with all he stood up in, and curled himself up in the hay all anyhow.
And now here were my two rugs laid neatly, looking for all the world like a bed. I'd nothing against it; 'twas one of the maids, no doubt, setting to teach me neat and orderly ways. 'Twas all one to me.
I was ready now to start cutting through the floor upstairs, but Fruen begged me to leave it to next day; her husband would be going over to the annexe, and that way I shouldn't disturb him. But next morning we had to put it off again; Frken Elisabeth was going in to the store to buy no end of things, and I was to go with her and carry them.
"Good," said I, "I'll come on after."
Strange girl! had she thought to put up with my company on the way? She said:
"But do you think you can find the way alone?"
"Surely; I've been there before. It's where we buy our things."
Now, I couldn't well walk through all the village in my working things all messed up with clay: I put on my best trousers, but kept my blouse on over. So I walked on behind. It was a couple of miles or more; the last part of the way I caught sight of Frken Elisabeth on ahead now and again, but I took care not to come up close. Once she looked round, and at that I made myself utterly small, and kept to the fringe of the wood.
Frken Elisabeth stayed behind with some girl friend after she had done her shopping; I carried the things back to the vicarage, getting in about noon, and was asked in to dinner in the kitchen. The house seemed deserted. Harald was away, the maids were wringing clothes, only Oline was busy in the kitchen.
After dinner, I went upstairs, and started sawing in the pa.s.sage.
"Come and lend me a hand here, will you?" said Fruen, walking on in front of me.
We pa.s.sed by her husband's study and into the bedroom.
"I want my bed moved," said Fruen. "It's too near the stove in winter, and I can't stand the heat."
We moved the bed over to the window.
"It'll be nicer here, don't you think? Cooler," said she.
And, happening to glance at her, I saw she was watching me with that queer, sideways look.... Ey.... And in a moment I was all flesh and blood and foolishness. I heard her say: