"Okay, old man, point taken. I take it this is another movie?"

"Technically, yes, but Rocky Horror Rocky Horror is more like an experience. The movie came out forever ago, but they still show it in theaters at midnight. People dress up and bring props and act it out. It's a whole thing." is more like an experience. The movie came out forever ago, but they still show it in theaters at midnight. People dress up and bring props and act it out. It's a whole thing."

I saw what he meant about the costumes. Some of the pictures of the guests were pretty out there. Seth was in his regular suit, though, so he looked normal. Well, sort of normal. He never looked quite right in pictures. It was like how the ones I had from camp as a kid never did him justice.

"This is a wedding?" I asked after I saw a picture of a man in a gold-lame bikini.

He nodded and kept eating the soup. Though I'd been trying to goad my mom into cooking, it turned out I'd been right about n.o.body taking care of him. I kicked myself internally for not having asked my dad where he was sooner.

Trying not to stare at Seth, I looked back down, flipped the page, and tilted my head, trying to understand what I was seeing. "Am I looking at dead birds?" I asked.

"Yes. Dead doves."

I gaped at him. "Actual dead doves?"

He nodded.

"Is that from the movie? Do they bite their heads off like that rocker?"

"Ozzy Osbourne bit the head off a bat, not a dove and, no, they're not from the movie. They released the doves before the ceremony, thinking it'd be peaceful and pretty."

"Then why are they dead?"

"Because in the movie they throw rice at the screen."

I wasn't getting the connection. "Okay?"

Seth took a bite of bread, chewed, and swallowed. "You know how people don't throw rice at weddings anymore because the birds eat it and then it swells in their stomachs and they die?"

"Uh, no, I didn't."

Seth gestured toward the alb.u.m with his chin, spooned more soup into his mouth, and said, "Well, now you know."

"Huh."

"Yup."

I turned the page.

"Are these b.u.t.terflies?"

He nodded.

"Did they release b.u.t.terflies too?"

"Well, they tried."

"What do you-" I flipped the page. "Oh, I see." I looked at him and flinched. "Looks like the surviving birds liked the b.u.t.terflies."

"Uh-huh."

"This is horrible. Why would they give you these pictures?"

"For the same reason they thought it'd be a good idea to have a Rocky-Horror-themed wedding."

I looked at the pictures again and rubbed my hand over my chest. "This is really gross."

"In that case you might want to stop, because in Rocky Horror Rocky Horror they throw the rice at the they throw the rice at the beginning beginning of the movie." of the movie."

I jerked my head up. "You're saying there's more?"

He grimaced and said, "Yes. Lots more. They haven't even walked down the aisle yet." He took the alb.u.m from me and tossed it on the coffee table. "Trust me. You don't want to see what happened when they brought out the water pistols and hot dogs."

Normally my curiosity would have driven me to ask for details and look at the rest of the pictures, but catching up with Seth was more interesting, and less likely to result in my vomiting, so I went along with his advice.

"Does my dad know what happened?"

"He was the first person I called when I left the hospital."

"Why were you at the hospital?"

He pointed at his nose.

"Oh, yeah, right, uh, what'd my dad say?"

"He laughed," Seth answered.

Yeah, I could see that. "You should ask him for hazard pay."

He shrugged. "Hey, at least I didn't get p.o.o.p on me at this one like I did at the horse wedding."

I chuckled. "Or blood and guts, like at the squirrel wedding."

"Actually there was blood."

"From the birds?"

"From my nose. It was gushing at first." He paused. "I wonder if the dry cleaner was able to get it out of my suit. I should call there tomorrow." He shook off the thought and then set the empty bowl on the coffee table. "No more wedding talk. Tell me how you did on your finals."

I liked that he cared enough to ask. "I think I did okay. Oh," I crowed. "I chose a major."

"Music?" he asked.

"How'd you know?"

"Because I pay attention. Now tell me what you mean by you did okay okay."

I tried to ignore the way my heart tightened in response to how well he knew me. It made me feel like I was special to him. That had to mean something. It had to.

And if I kept holding on to that hope, how would I be able to get past him enough to notice another guy, let alone get into a serious relationship with one?

Chapter 6.

Seth Cohen.

"YOU HAVE HAVE got to be kidding." got to be kidding."

"Nope."

I looked down at the invitation in my hand and then at Avi Block. "A theme wedding is one thing, but a murder mystery?"

"The bride and groom met in drama school," he explained as he rested his wrists on his desk and threaded his fingers together.

"Drama school?" I looked at him quizzically. "She's a Realtor and he's a lawyer."

He shrugged and nonchalantly said, "Turned out it was hard to find jobs in their chosen field, so they had to take a different approach."

Officiating weddings was quickly turning into the least favorite part of my job. I didn't want to be a whiner, but desperate times called for desperate measures, and my pride would have to take a backseat.

"We had a deal, Avi. Remember? Plus, I think it's your turn. I did the last wedding."

He got up from his desk. "The deal was that you'd get a break from weddings with animals, not all theme weddings. But, hey, on the plus side, the actual ceremony is going to be long before midnight this time. After that, you can claim a medical condition or something and leave."

"That's supposed to make me feel better?"

"No, not really. I was just stating a fact." He patted my shoulder as he made his way to his office door. "Either way, I'm not jumping in on this one. It's all you."

"Oh." I slumped my shoulders in defeat. "You have other plans?"

"No." He shook his head and walked out of his office into the administrative section of the synagogue. "But s.h.i.t flows downhill, and I'm king of this particular mountain. When you're my age, you can give all the c.r.a.ppy weddings to the a.s.sociate rabbi. Until then, they're yours."

After working with Avi for close to two years, I had gotten used to his laid-back att.i.tude and casual-bordering-on-cra.s.s demeanor. More than that, I'd learned from it by seeing firsthand how comfortable people felt in his presence. He wasn't a man who put on airs, which made everyone around him feel like they could talk openly about their own fears and shortcomings without being judged.

"I've already done a c.r.a.ppy wedding, Avi!" I shouted after him, my frustration lowering my inhibitions. I jumped out of the chair and followed him. "And a b.l.o.o.d.y one! And a horror one!"

My little outburst had no impact on him whatsoever. He opened the exterior door, said, "Well, then, you should be well prepared for the murder wedding, so have fun," and then he waved good-bye, all without turning around or changing his tone.

"d.a.m.n it!" As soon as the words left my mouth I realized where I was. Thankfully a quick glance around the office confirmed that I was alone, everyone already having gone home for the day. I was still stuck officiating yet another ridiculous wedding, but, hey, at least n.o.body had heard me cuss and shout about it. Great.

I shuffled over to my office, collapsed onto my chair, and reached for my phone. There was only one person who'd be able to find something good or funny about a murder-mystery wedding. A murder-mystery wedding. A murder-mystery wedding. Just thinking it made me grimace. Just thinking it made me grimace.

"h.e.l.lo."

"Hi, Eli."

"Seth!" Like he did every time we spoke-which was becoming more and more frequent-Eli sounded happy to hear from me. It felt good. "Hi! How are you? What're you doing? How's work?"

His exuberance and high energy level reminded me of a bouncy puppy. It was cute.

"I'm good. Work is busy. Are you ready for finals?"

"I will be by next week, when I have my first exam." He paused. "What's going on? You sound tired."

Not for the first time, I noticed how attentive Eli was, how in tune with something as minor as a tone of voice. It was a great quality-having the ability to make people feel like they were truly being heard.

"You're really good at that," I told him.

"Good at what?"

"Listening."

"Listening?" he repeated, sounding confused.

"Yes. You always pay close attention to people."

"Some people, yeah, now quit changing the subject. What's wrong?"

I smiled. "Nothing's wrong. I'm just being whiney about a wedding next month."

He groaned. "You and weddings. What's it gonna be this time? No, wait, don't tell me. Let me guess." He paused for a moment and then said, "I know. Ritual sacrifice. Am I right?"

"Actually, you might be."

"Uh, what?"

I sighed. "Well, it's a murder mystery, so I suppose it's possible the underlying crime is a ritual sacrifice."

"Shut the f.u.c.k up! You're joking, right?"

"I wish I was joking, but sadly, no. It's an actual murder-mystery wedding."

"That is so cool!"

I hadn't expected that reaction, so I was struck speechless. Not that it mattered because Eli was chatty enough for both of us. Yet another reason I enjoyed talking with him-there were no dull moments or long silences.

"Are you Colonel Mustard? No! Professor Plum. I bet you're Professor Plum."

"I don't, uh, think I have a role in the mystery game because I'm not a guest." At least I hoped that was true. Avi hadn't said anything about me playing any part other than rabbi.

"Oh," Eli said sadly. "Don't worry about it. You'll still have fun."

He was trying to make me feel better about the one aspect of the wedding I was already happy about-my nonpartic.i.p.ation in the role-playing game. That alone was funny enough to make me smile. Leave it to Eli to take an unexpected approach to a situation. I knew talking to him would cheer me up.