It hurt. She was giving him permission to fuck her and yet he still rejected her. She rapidly blinked back tears. It was the story of her life.
His hands fisted at his sides.
"You need to eat, Lorn." She turned away and took in the kitchen setup. "I'll make you something."
"I ate before you woke. Are you hungry again?"
She shook her head. "No."
"Come here."
She glanced over her shoulder and watched Lorn take a seat. He scooted the chair around to face her. She turned and approached him. "What?"
"Straddle my lap, facing me. We should work on your control. I'm going to teach you how to bite without causing pain, and how to close wounds while you're not in bloodlust."
"Shouldn't I face away from you like last time?"
"I'm not giving you my arm." He tilted his head, revealing the line of his throat. "You need to learn."
Kira hesitantly straddled his lap. It was so intimate. Her hands opened on his chest and she peered into his beautiful eyes. "Okay."
"How do you feel?"
She wasn't about to admit she wanted to kiss him. "Fine."
"Good." Lorn licked his lips. "Do that."
She ran her tongue over her bottom and top lip.
"A Vamp's saliva can heal. You want to lick the wound after you bite. It will seal it and rapidly hide the mark. They make certain their fangs don't tear the skin by just making two small holes. A tear takes longer to heal or leaves scars. Don't do that. You bite straight down, lock your fangs in place, and only move the bottom of your jaw to suck. It's how they get away with feeding from unwilling victims without raising suspicion of their existence. "
She winced. "Okay."
"That was a poor choice of words. I'm sorry."
"It's accurate though. I need blood to survive."
"For now. My blood is going to fix you. I have faith."
She really hoped that was true. "How do I bite into you without causing pain?"
"It's about gentleness. You'll use the tip of your tongue to locate the vein, and your sense of smell. It should come naturally. You'll carefully touch your fangs against me and slowly press down until the skin gives way. Are you ready to try?"
"I guess." She peered at his neck.
He gripped her ribs and pulled her closer. "Just relax. You can't damage me, Kira. I'm tough. This is about learning."
She'd hate to cause Lorn any pain. She leaned in closer and closed her eyes, inhaling his scent. The hunger that arose had nothing to do with blood. It was more about sex. She was on Lorn's lap and he held her so close.
"Lick me," he demanded.
It wasn't his throat she wanted but she followed his instructions, hesitantly parting her lips and finding his skin with her tongue. He tasted a little salty but good. Her gums ached and she felt her fangs slide down. A new awareness of him began to surface. She could hear his heartbeat. It was a little rapid and it grew louder.
One of his hands slid from her ribs to her back, stroking her spine. "Gently bite."
His husky voice did things to her insides. She could now sense his blood just under her tongue. She pressed her fangs against his skin, slightly adjusted to the spot that felt right, and bit down slowly.
He tensed a little but didn't growl or jerk away. At the first hint of blood, she moaned, latching on. He tasted incredible.
Her mouth fastened onto him more securely and Kira felt her fangs and gums tingle. Lorn's blood was warm, as was his skin where she touched him, and her body responded full force. Her nipples beaded and her pussy throbbed. She wiggled on his lap, getting closer.
Kira dug her fingers into his flesh, gripping him tighter. His dick hardened. She could feel it trapped between their bodies. The stiff length of his shaft dug into her belly and she rubbed against him shamelessly.
His breath hitched and his blood pumped faster, filling her throat and stomach. It wasn't enough. She needed him inside her, touching her. Frustration rose and she stopped feeding, removing her fangs. She remembered to lick the wounds she'd created, running her tongue over the bite marks.
"More," he urged.
Kira refused, and leaned back a little to look at his face. His eyes were closed, his face flushed. He turned his head away but she could still see his expression. He almost seemed to be in pain.
"Lorn? Are you okay?"
"Yes."
"Look at me."
He did-and like earlier, his eyes were glowing a bright silvery gray. They were amazing and breathtaking. She wondered if her eyes appeared that way too, only the color different from his.
They stared at each other. Time seemed to have no meaning until he stopped stoking her back.
"You should get off my lap."
He wanted her. She wanted him too, and wished they were naked. His hands adjusted on her and gripped her hips.
"You need to move, Kira."
She held his gaze again. "I'm not lost in the bloodlust. I want you to know that."
"Good. You're learning control. Did you black out at all while you fed?"
"No." She allowed him to help her stand.
He got to his feet and turned his back, probably trying to hide the fact that his cock strained the front of his pants. She'd noticed though. He breathed heavily too and his body appeared tense. She glanced at the bed, then back at him.
"Lorn?"
"I'm going to shower." He didn't move though.
Kira made a decision. He would probably reject her but it wouldn't be the first time. "I'm going to remove these clothes and lie on the bed. Join me."
His head whipped in her direction and his glowing eyes narrowed as he stared at her. "What?"
She reached for the bottom of the sweater and pulled it over her head. It was impossible to miss the way his attention fixed on her breasts. Her nipples were still puckered, stiffly beaded. She dropped the material and hooked her thumbs into the waistband of his borrowed sweatpants, shoving them down.
Lorn growled and slowly turned the rest of his body to face her. "Stop. I'll take you."
"Good." She kicked them away and took a step closer to him. "Take me."
"Fuck," he snarled.
He came at her but her instincts didn't clamor for her to run that time. No fear surfaced. Lorn almost bumped into her, staring down from his impressive height. Passion kept his gaze bright and traveling from her face to her breasts. He lifted his hands but fisted them before he could touch her.
"Baby," he rasped. "I'm going to snap. I want you too much."
She turned away and crossed the small room. It wasn't far to go to the bed. She dropped to her knees on the mattress and bent forward, bracing her upper body with her hands. She tossed her hair out of the way and looked back at him over her shoulder.
He wasn't looking at her face anymore. He stared at her ass.
She spread her legs apart, fighting her modesty. She wanted him too bad to care if her behavior was a bit slutty. It was Lorn. She'd do whatever it took to get him to join her on the bed. She even tilted her ass higher.
"Take me."
He clawed at his shirt and tore it in the process of getting it off. His breathing increased into a pant and his mouth opened, showing his fangs were out. He took one step closer, then another, his gaze fixated on her ass. He growled but then halted. It was as if he were fighting himself.
"Please?" She'd take a hit to her pride for Lorn. "I want you. You want me. Our time together is so short. Don't say no."
He lifted his gaze and stared into her eyes. "Kira..."
"It's me. I'm with it. It's not bloodlust. You know how I feel about you. I want to know at least once what it's like to be with you. Don't make me beg."
"I'm afraid I'm going to hurt you."
"You won't."
"How do you know? I've wanted you for too long. You have no idea how much."
"Show me." She licked her lips and rolled over, lying on her back.
He growled again, staring at her body, studying every inch of it. The pure lust he couldn't hide encouraged her to lift her legs and rest her heels on the mattress. She spread her thighs and reached out to him.
"You won't hurt me, Lorn."
"I'm going to hell." He reached down and unfastened his jeans. "But it'll be worth it."
Kira held really still and watched him open his pants, working them just past his hips. He didn't wear boxers anymore but instead had put on black briefs. He freed his cock.
She swallowed hard, taking in that sight. He was built a lot bigger and thicker than her ex-boyfriend. It didn't matter. She wanted Lorn. All of him.
He wasn't smooth about removing his clothes, almost falling over as he fought to keep his balance and rid his body of his pants and briefs. He left them on the floor and dropped to his hands and knees, closing the distance between them. He stared at her pussy and growled again.
"Fuck."
She wasn't sure how to take his snarled expletive. He was naked though, and coming closer. All the years she'd wanted him suddenly flashed in her mind, and the longing that came with them. Tears filled her eyes but she blinked them back. He had to pick that second to look up into her gaze. He froze.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing."
He gripped the edge of the mattress with one hand. "Don't lie to me."
"I've just wanted you for so long, Lorn. That's all. It's really going to happen. Don't change your mind."
"Kira," he rasped. "Tell me no. Do us both a favor and change your mind."
"That's not going to happen."
"I don't want to hurt you."
"Then come here." She sat up a little and reached for him, grabbing hold of the top of his shoulder and curling the fingers of her other hand around his biceps. "Please, Lorn."
"I can't say no." He inhaled, his eyes glowing brighter. "Just don't let me bite you."
She stared at the fangs denting his lower lip. "You won't. I know we can't do that because I'm drinking your blood."
"It would bond us."
Her heart wrenched in her chest. It would ruin his future. She understood that. He wasn't about to flee his clan, and taking her as his mate would leave him no other choice. His family would never accept her if they stayed. The others would probably stand in line to take turns tearing her apart a piece at a time too. She wasn't well liked as a human. She'd be flat-out hated as a suckhead.
"You won't bite. The urge won't be there."
"You have no damn idea, Kira." He glanced at her throat for a heartbeat.
She held her breath, searching his eyes. He didn't look away or try to hide his emotions from her. "You do want to bite me?"
He licked his lips and showed her his fangs. "I've always wanted to. It's another reason I stayed away."
Her heart hammered faster. Raw emotion almost choked her. Lorn wanted to bite her. It meant he did have feelings for her. She clutched him tighter, feeling emotionally torn. She wanted to be his mate but it would destroy him. "Do you want me to turn around again? You could take me from behind and keep your mouth away from my neck."
He grinned. "You think that's the only place I could bite, or the only reason I'd want to put my lips anywhere near you?"
It took her a second to recover from imaging his mouth on various parts of her. "Probably not."
"Let me go and lie back. I want to do this right."
"There is no wrong way."
"Lay back, Kira." His tone softened even more. "We'd better do this nice and slow. Keep your hands to yourself."
"Why?"