Chapter 1

I once read an article in a newspaper that said the following.

According to a study by a university from the UK, on average, people with higher IQ were more likely to develop depression.

If that article is true, I might have been a genius that far surpassed even Einstein when I was a child.

At least that's how I see it

Back then, I was a very miserable and depressed child. A person who thought of ways for a quick death every day.

My mother was a very beautiful person.

White and soft skin like freshly baked bread, long and coveted hair as if melted by the sun. And mysterious purple eyes that shone like jewels.

If she had lived in an ordinary city and not the slums, perhaps she might have been a world-class model or actor by now.

As such, she had an appearance that everyone would envy. Unfortunately, she didn't have the power to protect that beauty.

And

As history has proven, a shining treasure out of reach of the unworthy always brings tragedy.

Heuk, mister, please don't kill meI-if you let me go now, I won't tell anyone.

Fuck! When did I say I was going to kill you? Why are you being so annoying? Do you really want me to kill you?

N-no! That's not it! P-please spare me this once. Please

You're making a fuss because I look like shit, right? You want to shoot me?

I would never have such thoughts!

Look how you're lying. What do you mean no? It's written all over your face. Well, don't think it's too unfair.

H-huh? What do you mean?

The law of the worldThere's a set of rules for the strong where if they tell you to strip, then you strip huhu.

Ah, no! Please stop. Let go of me! Release me you bastard! Aahh!

Like that, my father committed a crime against my mother, and soon I was born into this world.

Was it because of that? My mother acted as if I didn't exist.

When it was mealtime, my rice bowl was nowhere to be found on the table.

Even when I begged or pulled at my mother's skirt out of desperation, my father would just chuck cigarette butts at me with no care.

At least it could be said that the only time I had a conversation with my father was when he was drunk and cursed me.

And then, one day.

After my mother went out somewhere and returned, she suddenly came to me and took the initiative to speak to me.

Noah. Do you enjoy living?

H-huh?

How should I answer this?

I was confused by the sudden situation. I stuttered and answered like a child who had just learned how to speak for the first time.

Well, I don't know

My mother took out a well-packed box from a paper bag and handed it to me.

You can't say that. Life is meant to be enjoyed.

I couldn't understand what she had said. Every day is so painful, so what in the world is there to enjoy?

You have to enjoy your life from now on.

My mother said so with a broad smile. As far as I can remember, it was the first time I had seen such a smile.

To be honest, I didn't know what she meant, but I nodded without realizing it when I looked at her bright expression.

I bought this for you, so open it.

I was a bit hesitant when presented with a gift.

But when I tore off the package with awkward hand movements, a box with a cute little boy wielding a sword on it appeared.

I stammered as I read the words on the box.

A Warrior'sAdventure? W-What's this?

A game. When I asked people what kids like these days, they said this was the best.

Game?

I didn't know what a game was, so I could only stare at her face. My mother smiled and spoke.

Pfft. You'll know once you try it. I'll show you what to do first, so watch carefully.

She took the game console out of the box and turned it on.

Cute music resonated in the gutter-like house. A beautiful world of various colors unfolded inside the game console.

My eyes became glued to the small screen.

Hmm, is this how you do it? It's been awhile since I did this, so it's really awkward. I used to play it a lot in the past

The appearance of my mother playing the game made me feel as if she had become a different person.

In the past, even when my eyes sparkled like a child, she would suddenly frown as if she was angry. And sometimes, she would even laugh while hitting my back.

I learned for the first time that day that my mother had such various facial expressions.

Now, look. If a bandit appears here, you can press this key to attack. Simple, right?

Yes! ButWouldn't that person get hurt if I stabbed him with the sword?

It's okay. That's how games are played, so don't worry about it and kill him.

For a long time, my mother taught me how to play the game.

And when I got used to the controls to some extent, my mother crept up from her seat.

Play by yourself for now. I'm going to go somewhere for a bit.

W-where are you going?

Suddenly, I had an ominous feeling that my mother would disappear like this. So I grabbed her skirt.

My mother gently removed my hand and patted me on the head.

Me tooI'm going to enjoy my life from now on.

Is she going to play a different game?

It was a pity that I couldn't play with my mother a little longer, but I could understand because there was only one game console.

Then when will you be back?

I'll be back before you finish the game.

Okay!

And just before leaving the front door, my mother called my name one more time.

Noah.

What?

Don't die.

She stared at me with a heavy, sinking expression. Did she think I wouldn't be good at the game on my own?

I wanted to reassure my mother, so I replied in a brave voice.

Yes! Don't worry. Now that I know how to play, I can do well by myself!

YeahI'm sure you'll do well.

My mother looked at me for a while before turning her back and leaving the house.

While I sat in the empty house, immersed in the game alone. I wanted to surprise her when she returned.

How long has it been? The street lights outside the window shone and it became dark before I knew it.

Squeak

I heard the door opening, so I quickly ran to the front door with the game console in my hand.

I wanted to show my mother my newfound skills and the monster I had caught.

H-how was your

But there stood my father, not my mother.

My father looked around the house without saying a word. He pushed me aside and began to rummage through the house.

By the time the house had turned into a mess, my father approached me with a terrifying look.

Where?

What?

Where are all the money and goods in the safe?

Pak!

Keuk!

My father slapped me on the cheek with his thick palm. The pain felt as if a piece of flesh had been ripped off.

I couldn't see well with tears in my eyes, but I could see my father raising his hand again beyond the blurry view.

Pak!

Keuk!

Fuck! Where did she go? Hurry up and tell me where she went!

Pak!

I, who had fallen to the floor, was kicked by my father indiscriminately.

All I could do was roll to my side like a shrimp and pray that this time it would end quickly.

After a while, my father left the house with a snort.

As I laid on the floor, I had a thought.

MotherIs she not coming back?

Even though I was young, I could tell that much intuitively. That my mother would never come back to this house again.

But still, I turned on the game console with bruises all over my body.

No, she said she'd be back once I finish this game.

So it was my fault. She's not coming back because I'm not done with the game yet.

I denied reality with that thought.

It's been more than two days and my father hasn't returned. During that time, I skipped meals and didn't let go of the game console.

While playing the game, different thoughts continued to collide in my head.

I wanted my mother to be happy just like before, and I wanted my father to bring her back and then we can be together again.

I didn't like that side of me, however, the more I had such thoughts, the more I fell into the game.

And finally.

[GAME CLEAR]

Finished!

The moment when a spectacular celebration exploded on the screen and the ending credit went up.

The front door opened at the same time.

Y-you're back

Standing in front of the door, my father stared at me and spoke.

You cook the rice from now on.

From that day on, I was on my own.

I had to fill my mother's vacancy after she was gone.

From preparing breakfast every day, cleaning, laundry, and even walking the dog of my father's girlfriend.

Fortunately, I was good at housework, so thanks to that I was able to live by mimicking my mother.

However, in her vacancy, sometimes there was housework that felt too big for me alone

Fuck! Do you think I'm shit now too? Huh?

Pak!

It was dealing with my drunk father.

My father began to hit me in place of my mother.

And unlike my mother, I wasn't talented in this kind of thing.

Hey, what's with that look on your face? Are you going to stab me in my sleep?

But I've never had such thoughts?

My my. This won't do. I'll play the role of your father today and teach you the truth of life.

Yes.

Son, if you meet someone stronger than you in lifeYou have to bow your head in front of them. It's a very simple rule.

So what I mean isDon't open your eyes like that to me, punk!

Pak!

Pak!

It wasn't until my father's anger was satisfied every night that my daily routine would end.

Whenever it was over, I would turn on the game console that I had received from my mother as a gift.

And in the stale basement, with the volume lowered, I fell into the game.

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It's already a game that I've cleared over and over again, but there was no other game I had.

So after I clear it, I would challenge it again from the beginning, and again, and this repeated countless times.

By the time I was able to recall every NPC line in my head, suddenly, I had a thought that it wasn't fun to live.

Each day became repetitive and a daily life where I couldn't feel any happiness.

If life was supposed to be this boring, I wondered if there was a need to live for decades more.

What the hell is life?

What does it mean to live when it's so painful?

I thought about it for days and days without playing my game. But I couldn't think of an answer.

It was too difficult of a problem for a 12-year-old child to solve.

How long did that last? Eventually, I was able to solve the problem.

I have an errand for you.

One day, my father called me.

Go to Hairy's house.

At the time, there was a butcher called Hairy living in the slums.

As can be seen from this intuitive nickname, he was a giant with a shaggy beard on his face.

Hairy didn't want to get close to anyone in the neighborhood, as if drawing a line in his mind that he was different from everyone else. He refused any conversation beyond buying and selling goods.

But for some reason, he was especially kind to me.

If I bumped into him on the street, he would deliberately surprise me with a scary face, or sometimes he would secretly give me snacks he had gotten from somewhere.

Perhaps my father knew this relationship between me and Hairy, so whenever there was something that involved him, he would usually use me to run his errands.

I understand. I'll be back.

Yeah. I believe you'll do well.

And that day, too, I visited Hairy's house to run an errand for my father.

But if there's one difference from usual

Instead of a shopping basket in my hand, I held a loaded handgun.

Bang!

I fired the handgun at the man who welcomed me.

As the man collapsed on the floor, I hurriedly closed the store. Through my teary eyes I could see blood sprouting out of the hole in his chest.

Like his tough appearance, he was still alive after taking a bullet.

Y-you

He looked up at me with a shocked expression.

Still, I pointed the gun at him and spoke.

My father ordered it.

KeukBloody hell, that fucking bastard

He'll let me meet my mother if I kill you.

N-NoahY-you're being fooled by him. He said you'll be able to meet her, but your mother died a long time ago! Q-quickly put down the gun

Bang!

Bang!

Bang!

Keuk!

He kept lying, so I shot him a few more times.

In the cellar, the man's arms and legs flopped like a cockroach before going limp.

Soon, his ragged breathing stopped.

Only the smell unique to a butcher and the strong smell of gunpowder permeated inside the quiet room.

In fact, my father had told me to do it, but it didn't feel very good. It felt as if my whole body was stuck in a quagmire of filth.

What should I do now?

I didn't know what to do after I had shot him. So I looked at the man lying on the floor for a while.

For some reason, I felt like he would wake up any moment now and surprise me. Unknowingly, I called out to him.

Mister?

Naturally, there was no answer.

Are you really dead?

Strangely, my voice trembled. Without realizing it, my strength faltered and the handgun fell.

I slowly approached the man and shook his body. Again, there was no answer.

Instead, sticky blood clung to my hands.

H-huh?

When I looked around, the floor was covered in red as if a large bottle of wine had spilled.

There was a strong fishy smell of metal, the very same smell that came from my body.

Only then did I realize.

That I had killed this man.

The fact that the man lying here can't hand me snacks ever again.

I-I had to do this

I just wanted to see my mother one more time. So I killed him.

But I didn't think I'd be this sorry for him.

I-if I take him to the hospital now

I hurriedly blocked the hole in the man's chest with my hands.

But I soon realized that it was useless. This is because there was no more blood leaking out of his body.

Ah

There was nothing I could do. I wanted to apologize, but he couldn't hear me anymore.

I just sat there blankly, feeling his blood turning cold.

Then suddenly, the handgun that had fallen to the floor caught my eye.

AndA thought passed my mind.

This is my chance

Since it was a life where I only suffered day to day anyways, is there a need to continue living?

And now I have a way to die comfortably.

I slowly reached for the handgun.

The cold gun touched my forehead and the finger caught in the trigger slowly exerts force.

At that moment

I heard a clear sound from the depth of my soul.

Ding!

In my field of vision, which was blurred with tears, very familiar letters began to come to mind.

[Level has risen.]

[Gained a Fragment of Growth.]

T-this is?

The same message like the one in the game my mother had given me. I touched the letters with my hands as if I was possessed by something.

Then, another screen popped up in front of me.

Body: 0.59

Dexterity: 1.35

Mana: 0.18

Spirit: 1.12

*1 Fragment of Growth

I could feel it instinctively. This is the answer to the problem that has troubled me for so long.

Ah

My body shook and I had a realization.

I seelife was a game!

The world I live in was just a game.

Suddenly, I felt like I could hear the cute sound of music in my head. Colorful and pretty effects were added over the desolate scenery of the room.

When I turned my head, the man's body that was lying on the floor looked as if it had turned into a monster. However, even though I felt sorry for him, there was no sense of guilt.

Rather, I felt refreshed because the problem I had been agonizing over for a long time was solved.

My mother had told me that this is how games are supposed to be played. In games, you can kill anyone.

I recalled the smile of my mother that I had seen a long time ago.

[Life is meant to be enjoyed.]

At that time, I didn't understand the meaning properly, but now I somehow felt like I understood it.

I see. If life is a game

I looted the wallet from the man's pocket. Next, I secured the handgun that I had been holding into my arms.

I should enjoy life to my heart's content.

It was the moment when I realized the meaning of life.

I ran away from the slums.

For the first few days I couldn't sleep properly because I didn't know if my father would come after me.

But that was only for a few days. I soon faced a wider world as I began to enjoy new stimuli.

At most, it was just the beginning of the game, so it would be too bad if it ends without me being able to play it properly.

So I always valued the precious time I was given.

I didn't hesitate to challenge myself if there was something I wanted to do.

Rather than falling into negative thoughts, I would think about how to have more fun.

I enjoyed every moment like a game.

At some point, people started calling me by a different name.

a villain is here!

Why? What's the matter?

I just wanted to enjoy the game.

To be honest, I couldn't understand it with my common sense. But I tried to empathize with them.

I also hated this game terribly when I was young. Usually, any game isn't fun at first.

Recalling my immature days of the past, I passed on the know-how to the newbies one by one.

How is it? Isn't it more fun now?

I thought hopefully this was enough for them to be able to enjoy the game. But

[A villain has been spotted downtown. Citizens, please quickly move to a nearby shelter]

You're finally showing your true colors, villain!

Be careful! He has multiple abilities. Don't think about rashly running in!

Damn! The information was wrong. How can they say this crazy bastard is just C-class?!

On the contrary, the Hero Association placed a greater bounty on me.

Hm

As expected, the world's view of gamers was negative. Even if I try to do something good, I'm being cursed at.

But because of this, new heroes began to come and bother me every week, and I had no choice but to defeat them one by one with the feeling of playing a tower defense game.

Ding!

[Level has risen.]

[Level has risen.]

I became stronger and stronger.

The more I killed, the higher my level rose, and then little by little higher-class heroes came to me.

That's how I continued to enjoy this game.

Then one day, the heroes no longer came to me. Instead, they gave me a new nickname.

The only EX-class villain in the world. A living disaster. The Mad Demon.

== Translator's Note ==

1. This novel switches POV (point of view) between 1st person (main character) and 3rd person often. Please pay attention to the * * *.

2. Please report any typos, grammatical/spelling errors, sentences you find weird, and other etcin the comment section