He saw himself, long ago, lying in the undertaker's back room, undead and yet certainly not alive, either. He felt the horror again, and the helplessness, and cursed Lisette from the core of his soul.
Aidan did not expect to travel farther; he'd always understood that such a feat was impossible, except to the most accomplished and reckless vampires, like Valerian. To his surprise, he heard a whistling sound, shrill and harsh, and felt himself plunging through wisps of moonglow and sharp, splintered stars.
His stopping was a collision, not an arrival, and it was several moments before he recovered his equilibrium. He was in a pit, dark and cold, echoing with the screams and rustlings of beings he could not see.
This, then, was h.e.l.l, or its anteroom. Aidan stifled a wail of his own, for his despair was crushing, unbearable, and worst of all, almost surely eternal.In desperation he dared what no vampire would and cried out from his heart, G.o.d of Light, have mercy on me-I was condemned on the whim of another, and not by my own choice!
Silence. Even the moaning of the lost souls haunting the darkness was stilled.
Aidan waited.
Valerian remained in the cavern as long as he could, keeping watch, but he soon discovered that this separate, mental self could not long survive apart from the body. He returned, or rather was wrenched back, to that lonely, moldering place, and there he waited. There, almost against his will, he began to heal.
Neely did not trouble Maeve at her weaving, but instead took a bath, put on one of the nightgowns she'd left behind, in the guest suite, and collapsed into bed. She slept deeply, dreamlessly, and awakened to a foggy morning and a ringing telephone.
The jangling stopped and presently there was a tap at Neely's door. "For you, miss," Mrs.
F. called breathlessly from the other side. "Your friend Miss Browning, I think."
Neely sat up and reached for the receiver on the bedside table. "h.e.l.lo?" she mumbled, rumpling her hair with one hand and feeling as befogged as London itself. Beneath that murky layer was the terrible longing for Aidan, and the unfaceable fear that something was dreadfully wrong.
"Hi, Neel," chimed Wendy. "I hope you enjoyed the blizzard. We gave it in your honor, you know."
Neely laughed, though the sound sc.r.a.ped at her throat and made swallowing difficult.
"Thanks a whole lot," she said. "Next time, how about a hurricane?"
"Done," Wendy agreed cheerfully. "Listen, we're doing a sort of showcase thing at the academy tonight-scenes from different cla.s.sic plays-and I'd like you to be there. I do a mean Lady Macbeth."
"Is there any other kind?"
Wendy's smile was transmitted over the wire, warming her voice. "Such a wit. Will you be there? We could have dinner afterward."
What Neely really wanted to do was hibernate and wait for Aidan to reappear, but she forced herself to accept the invitation. She made a mental note of the time and address, rose, and dressed in slacks and a sweater.
If she remained in her room, watching the fog shift in front of the windows, she knew she would go insane. So she went to the kitchen, where Mrs. F. was dutifully a.s.sembling a tray, and insisted on eating there.
Neely and the housekeeper chatted, though Aidan's name certainly didn't come up, and neither did Maeve's.
After clearing away her dishes, Neely went to the downstairs gallery, though she'd been there before, feeling drawn by the art. Mrs. F. chose that room to dust, probably for want of company.
Neely inspected each painting again, marveling. Some were portraits-Maeve, Aidan, Valerian-but most were landscapes. Intuitively she knew these green rolling hills and harsh rocky cliffs overlooking tempestuous blue-gray seas were glimpses of Ireland. Her practiced eye told her that all but a few of the works had been done by one artist.She dragged a wooden stool over and climbed onto it to peer at a signature. "Tremayne,"
she muttered. Neely turned, still poised on the stool, to look at Mrs. F., thinking of the beautiful tapestry she'd seen at the museum. "Did Maeve do these?" she asked.
Mrs. F. laughed as she orbited a lampshade with her fluttering feather duster. "Oh, no, miss. Those are old paintings, for the most part-look closely and you'll see that they're done on wood instead of canvas. Priceless, they are, and not just because they were painted by an ancestor of the Madam."
Neely swallowed, feeling strangely moved. She touched one of the paintings tentatively, with just the tips of her fingers. Somehow she knew the truth even before Mrs. F. cleared up all vestiges of the mystery.
"The artist's name was Aidan Tremayne," she said proudly. "Just like our own Aidan he was, dark and handsome and full of charm, if the stories are to be believed."
Just like our own Aidan, Neely repeated to herself, and then she smiled. Very like our own Aidan indeed, she thought. She had not known that Aidan painted-there wasn't a word about it in his journals-but she should have guessed because of the sketch of him and Maeve on the first page of the original volume, far away in that Connecticut study.
"It's where all their money comes from, you know," Mrs. F. confided in a whisper, her feather duster shedding sparkling particles of dust. "They've sold a painting from time to time, and Mr. Tremayne is very good with investments- another family trait."
Neely turned her face to hide her smile, which might have been a bit secretive and perhaps even a touch smug. "Fascinating people," she said. The compulsion to explain that Maeve and Aidan were immortal, that they were in fact their own ancestors, was almost overwhelming, but of course Neely kept the information to herself. It would be a betrayal of trust, and besides, the housekeeper wouldn't believe a word.
Neely lingered a while, to be polite, and went on her way only after Mrs. F., settled in with a cup of tea to look at her favorite morning program on "the telly." Neely was drawn to the third floor, the very place she'd avoided the night before, when she'd known Maeve was there. It was a contradiction, of course, but Neely's life had been fraught with such things since Halloween. That was what she got, she supposed, for hanging out with vampires.
Reaching the studio's high, arched door, which was made of glowing English oak and beautifully carved with tiny birds and acorns, Neely paused and knocked softly, even though she knew Maeve would not be inside. Although the day was cloudy, and the atmosphere gun-metal gray, the sun was shining as brilliantly as ever beyond the earth's shroud of fog. Maeve, like all the other vampires, would be sleeping in some dark and hidden place.
Neely turned the bra.s.s handle on the door and stepped inside the great drafty room. She wondered if Maeve had woven the tapestry of herself and Valerian in this room, the one that was on display at the museum in the center of London. The house, like the tapestry and those paintings downstairs in the gallery, was old, and so was the loom.
She approached it cautiously, as though it might spring suddenly to life and chastise her, then touched its rough-hewn wooden frame in wonder. How beautiful and spare it was in its rustic simplicity. It was so plain, that loom, and yet it could mirror the visions of an artist in fine detail.
Neely walked around to look at the emerging tapestry again. There was the hem of the gauzy dress, the toe of one black slipper, the leaves, the petals. Something about this incomplete scene gave Neely a sense of deep sorrow, almost of mourning, and she had to turn away from it.
She moved to the windows, which stretched from floor to ceiling, their diamond-shaped panes lined with lead. The fog had gone, but now there were fat, soft flakes of snow drifting down, draping the metal gate out front, tr.i.m.m.i.n.g the square tops of the old-fashioned lampposts, disguising cars and other evidence of the modern age.
It might have been 1894, Neely reflected fancifully, as she stood there looking out, or even 1794. She imagined, for a moment, that she could travel through time, as the vampires described in Aidan's journals did, and the idea sent a chill skittering up her spine.
Neely bit her lip as she turned away from the windows. Between getting herself mixed up with Aidan and his crowd and playing chase with the drug cartel back in the States, she'd had all the adventure she needed for one lifetime. She wanted what Aidan did-for him to be a man again, so that they could both live in the sunshine. She wanted to make love to him and to bear his children.
The possibility seemed remote, impossible, and yet Neely clung to it with all the tenacity of her being. She loved Aidan too deeply to give up now, even in the face of incomprehensible odds.
Still, Neely was used to taking action, and waiting was not her strong suit. She needed to be busy, building a life somewhere, carving out a place where she and Aidan could begin again.
He would find her, she thought as she left the studio, closing the door quietly behind her.
Aidan would come to her when he could, and she would be waiting for him with an open heart.
One tear slipped down Neely's cheek as she descended to the second floor, for despite her faith in her love for Aidan and his for her, she knew that their happiness would be won only after a fiery battle.
In the guest suite she found her pa.s.sport, opened it, and wondered at the innocence of the face in the photograph.
After the lonely, whispering darkness came the fire. Aidan felt its heat pulsing all around him, and yet he was oddly detached, untouched by the flames. He was silent now, for he had offered his prayer, and there was nothing left to say.
Then, suddenly, the flames became a living presence, not G.o.d Himself, but Someone.
Definitely an individual, thinking Someone.
Vampyre, a silent voice boomed. By what name are you called?
Aidan quaked. Now it would happen, now he would tumble into the bowels of h.e.l.l, to be consumed, and not consumed. So be it, he decided. At least he wouldn't be a blood-drinking monster anymore, preying on humans, pa.s.sing himself off to the dying as an Angel of Mercy.
I am Aidan Tremayne, he answered at length. Then some spark of his old arrogance prompted him to ask, Who are you?
There was a thunderous hush, followed by amus.e.m.e.nt. I am the Warrior Angel, Nemesis, the voice replied. Do you know that you are d.a.m.ned?
Aidan was awe-stricken now, beyond fear into an emotion so profound that he could not call it by name. Yes, he replied when he could recall his own language and once again shape its words in his mind.
You have asked for absolution, Nemesis replied. What right have you, a vampyre, a fiend and a demon, to expect the mercy of Heaven?None, Aidan answered. But what right have the humans your Master so cherishes, to their redemption? And yet the choice between Heaven and h.e.l.l is their birthright, is it not?
Nemesis was silent for a time, considering. You are bold, Vampyre, he said.
At this point, what else would serve me? was Aidan's response.
Again the Warrior Angel, dreaded from one end of Creation to the other, was amused.
True enough. What is it that you would have me do?
There was no other course but to brazen it out. None are to be s.n.a.t.c.hed from His fingers, Aidan challenged. So say the holy words. But I am the exception, for my soul was stolen, not given willingly.
Another pause, long and thoughtful, dangerously charged. I will consider, Nemesis replied.
Neely put on her black dancing dress, borrowed an evening cape from Maeve's closet, with Mrs. F."s permission, and took a cab to the address Wendy had given her. The theater academy was in London's West End, and the ride was a long one.
She arrived just five minutes before curtain time, clutching a bouquet of yellow roses she'd sent out for earlier, but her thoughts were with Aidan, of course, and the need of him was raw within her.
Tomorrow or the day after-as soon as she could get a seat on a plane-Neely would return to the United States. The danger from the drug cartel was past, and she was determined to live constructively while she waited for Aidan to return to her.
When he was ready, he would find her.
She went into the theater, took her a.s.signed seat, and was, for a time, lost in the performances of her friends, Wendy and Jason, and their talented cla.s.smates. Between scenes, however, Neely's mind groped for images of Aidan and clung to them.
She figured she was going to need some therapy once this whole thing was over, one way or the other, though G.o.d only knew how she would explain her obsession with vampires.
Any normal shrink was certain to see that as a neurosis, plain and simple, and cla.s.sify Aidan and the others as unconscious archetypes.
Once the evening's presentation was over, Neely met Wendy and Jason in the lobby, near one of the stage doors. She handed Wendy the roses and gave her a congratulatory hug, then embraced Jason as well.
They had supper three blocks away, in an elegant club where the music was soft and smoky. Neely surprised herself by actually choking down a reasonable amount of food.
When Jason left the table for a few minutes to speak with friends, Wendy gently squeezed her friend's hand. "What's wrong, Neel? I've never seen you look so miserable."
Neely wished she could confide the whole truth, but of course that was impossible. Even the artistic, talented Wendy, with her fertile imagination, would not be able to take in the undiluted facts of the situation. How could Neely explain that she was hopelessly in love with a vampire?
"I guess I'm just tired. I've been through a lot in the last few months."
Wendy nodded sympathetically, her blue eyes wide with compa.s.sion. At least she knew about Neely's adventures with the drug cartel. "You certainly have," she agreed. "What you need is a good rest. You should go somewhere warm, where the sun shines, and think things through."
Neely sighed in agreement. "I don't know where I'll wind up, just yet," she answered, "but I feel ready to leave London now and make a lasting niche for myself somewhere. I'll be in touch with you as soon as I get my bearings."
Wendy patted her hand. "You'll be all right, Neely. You're the bravest, most resilient person I know."
"Thanks," Neely said. She knew her friend had meant the compliment, but at the same time she couldn't really take it in. The days and nights ahead looked bleak to her, for as badly as she wanted to, she could not ignore the possibility that Aidan might never return to her.
She finished out the evening, cried all the way home in the cab, and spent much of the night composing a letter to Aidan. She wrote that she loved him, that she would always love him, that she would wait for him, even into the next lifetime, if that proved necessary.
Neely left the letter on the mantelpiece in the gallery the next morning, beneath one of Aidan's paintings, said good-bye to Mrs. F. and set out in another cab for the airport.
Chapter 18.
For four days and three nights, Aidan lay upon his slab, motionless and pale as death.
Valerian came, in spirit, to watch over him and stayed as long as his limited energy would allow, before scurrying back to his own ruined and unwelcoming body to regroup. The old ones returned every twenty-four hours, always at nightfall, to fill the golden chalice from their wrists as they had on that first occasion, and add their concoction of herbs. The only sign of life Aidan ever showed was when he opened his lips to draw from the cup.
Each night, as Valerian kept his helpless vigil, a new fissure traced itself over his heart.
He would gladly have taken the beloved one's place on that cold bed of stone, borne all his pain, argued his case for him in that other world, the mystical one, where some part of Aidan surely wandered. None of these courses were open to Valerian, however; all he could do was wait.
When the fourth sunset came, Valerian was there in the cavern even before the elders appeared. It was as if he were the heart of some giant unseen ent.i.ty, pumping fear, like blood, into veins and limbs and organs beyond his awareness.
He drew near Aidan, but it seemed that a wall of cold surrounded the still form, now as rigid and gray as a cadaver. Valerian withdrew again, scorning his vampire powers for the first time since his making. Smoke and mirrors, he thought furiously. What good are my tricks and secrets if Aidan does not live?
The others arrived, one by one, solemn in their dignity, wearing it as tangibly as their robes. They made a circle around Aidan, then, in a single motion, lifted him up in their hands.
Valerian was jolted out of his angry reverie; he rushed back to Aidan, shimmering above his bare middle like a firefly.
Wait, he demanded of Tobias, seeing no sign of the chalice. Something had changed; the ritual had taken a new turn. What are you doing? Where are you taking him?
Tobias sighed, and his effort at patience was lost on Valerian for the moment because he was too frantic to recognize it. The older vampire responded in the language of the mind, though there was never any question lhat the others could hear and understand.We can do no more for the fledgling, Tobias said. The sunlight must now be his final judge.
Valerian felt horror batter against him, then surround and absorb him. What?
We will lay him out in a place once holy to mortals. If he survives the full rising of the sun, the transformation will be complete. If he cannot be changed, and we have failed in our efforts, he will be destroyed.
Valerian became a scream, since he could not utter one without his body. No!
It is done, Tobias responded.
In the next instant they were gone. All of them-Tobias, the other elders, Aidan.
Valerian's strength was already waning-his body claimed much of it, being determined to renew itself- but he used all his will to follow the elders and their unconscious burden.
The small, hideous company rea.s.sembled itself in the center of a circle of ancient pillars, not far from Stonehenge. Moonlight splashed the ruined monument to some long-forgotten deity and turned the crusted snow to iridescent silver.
Aidan made no sound or movement as the elders laid him in the exact center of the ring of giant stones and stepped back, each one fading slowly, slowly, until they'd all vanished.
Valerian shrieked soundlessly, wild in his frustration and fear. He could not bear it, seeing Aidan left to await the sunrise and suffer the terrible cruelties reserved just for vampires, but there was nothing he could do.
Still, Valerian lingered as long as he was able, and when he saw dawn trim the distant horizon in golden lace, he tried to form himself into some kind of shield, to cover and protect his friend. Alas, he was made of nothingness, and he could offer no protection.