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The first thing that came into my vision was darkness... More precisely, it was just endless nothingness.
More importantly, what am I?
Why am I thinking?
What is existence? And why do I know of it?
Am I also that? Just nothingness? Nothingness with a conscience?
What do I know of existence? And why am I even curious?
All kinds of thoughts ran through my mind. After a while, I decided to put the notions of 'what am I?' in the back of my mind. Trying to focus on the surroundings, I can only see the endless abyss.
In the end, I found... nothing. What can you even conclude, out of pure emptiness? The only thing I could do was think and feel. And the only feeling I had was affection.
Yes, affection. Like some kind of 'warmth' spreading through me as if the endless darkness is but my extension.
Anyway, that was all I could do. So like any other nothingness with a conscious. I decided to do... nothing. And nothing I did. And nothing pas... I mean, the time pa.s.sed.
What felt like nothing or so I think pa.s.sed, I begin to see the light. Something new. Something contradictory to me? I don't know. But I do feel the warmth fading away now.
Moments later, I saw colors. Colors different from white and black. Blurry but colors nonetheless.
And then I saw, felt, and sensed all at the same time. Like the complete emptiness surrounding me was but an illusion. My vision got better in a matter of seconds.
I could see different people gathered around me. An old woman was holding me but with a terrified expression. How do I know she is old or rather a woman at all? I don't know why I know so much.
Anyways, I turned a little to see a beautiful and lovely face looking at me with eyes overflowing with love and a tinge of sadness.
Hmm... what is it that I am feeling? Warmth? Again? Just like the darkness surrounding me. Or even more? I don't know, but the pure bliss I am experiencing does not loose to it.
Maybe... no, She is definitely my mother. She just exudes the quintessence of pure love.
That may be the case, but why are people in the surrounding struck with panic on their faces?
Am I weird in some sort?
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Sylvia was delighted upon successful delivery. Even though they told her that they could save the baby at the expense of her life, she was worried about her unborn baby.
When she saw her baby boy in excellent health, she sighed in relief even though she was worried about why he didn't cry yet.
But upon seeing the weird looks the surrounding people were throwing at her baby, she took another look at him.
She was stunned at first, but what she felt next was just grief. Because she knew her baby boy could not live a simple life. He will suffer. And she won't be there to help him, to be his only support.
Sylvia was a smart woman. She could already predict that he won't have a life in the Duke's estate or any other place in this world for that matter.
She knew that these few moments were the only time both the mother and son pair could be together. So she hurriedly took him in her arms from the midwife. Though the movement caused her pain, she endured for her child.
She looked at him. Specifically, his eyes. His eyes, like a bottomless abyss, showed intelligence far surpa.s.sing a baby. Somehow she knew that he was conscious of his surroundings.
She kept looking at him until tears started to form in her eyes, threatening to fall out any second.
She knew her time was near. She was slowly feeling drowsy.
A smile that was full of sorrow took place on her pale lips as she neared the boy's face until her lips were on the boy's forehead.
"... my boy..... I won't be there for you..... take care of yourself. Be yourself.....ozul... Ozul Ashfall." Only Ozul heard these sweat but sorrowful whispers. The last words Sylvia Ashfall said before death embraced her.
Even after death, she still kept the same position as if her body won't let go of her child.
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