"He broke one of my ribs once," she continued, "- That was really painful. I had to pretend to everyone that I had fallen over on the ice during the mildest winter we had ever had and hope that no one realised that there actually wasn't any ice. I'm scared at how good I've got at lying, Vaughn. Apart from you, Cole is the only one who knows any of this. Everyone else believes I have a loving husband and a happy marriage. I'm not proud of lying but I can't bear for everyone to know the truth. It's too ugly. Sometimes, I even wonder if it's all in my head, when everyone tells me how lucky I am to have Dale. I only have to look at my bruises though to realise how far off-base they all are."
She looked into his eyes then and was surprised to see unshed tears in them.
"Hey.." she laid her palm onto his cheek "Don't cry for me I'm OK. I'm a big girl now and I'm used to it I know how to handle Dale and his moods. It's only on the odd occasion that he catches me off guard. I will leave him - one of these days I'm sure that I will - but whilst a tiny part of me still loves him, it's not that easy. But I am also scared, Vaughn. Scared of what might happen if I leave. It's all such a mess."
Vaughn reached up and covered her hand with his so that they were both now cupping his cheek. His eyes bored into hers, his lashes moist where he had blinked away the tears.
"You still haven't answered me, Elise" he said softly, "How far has it gone? How far has he pushed you? s.e.xually, Elise. How far? Has he ever forced himself on you? Made you do things that you didn't want to do?"
Reluctantly, she nodded.
"Yes." she whispered.
"Have you ever told him no?"
"Yes." she whispered again.
"Did he carry on?" his voice was breaking as he asked questions that were clearly painful for both of them.
"Yes." her voice was tiny, a mere hint of breath.
"f.u.c.king b.a.s.t.a.r.d." She flinched and Vaughn hissed in a breath.
"How far, Elise? How far has he gone?"
She paused, aware that she was now visibly trembling and no longer in control of her movements. She took a deep breath and locked her eyes onto his, knowing that after this there was no going back. Her voice faltered but her gaze remained steady, holding his as she revealed the true depths of her husband's depravity.
"All the way..." she said quietly, slowly. "All the way."
She was aware of Vaughn picking her up and carrying her into the spare bedroom, laying her gently onto the bed. She was wrung out, and now that Vaughn knew everything she realised that she felt completely safe with him. She only felt that with one other person in her life and just a few short nights ago she would have never considered that she could feel this way with him.
He had been silent since her last admission but she could see the cogs were well and truly working, the expression on his handsome face ever changing. There wasn't really much else for either of them to say though; they both needed time to process and so she allowed the comfortable calm to continue, snuggling under the soft comforter that he gently pulled over her. He reached down to remove her shoes and belatedly she realised she was still wearing her 'killer' dress. There was no other option though and as she allowed the beginnings of sleep to claim her, she realised that she was far too tired to care.
Gently, Vaughn pressed his lips to her temple and stroked her cheek. "Get some sleep, beautiful," he said, "It's late. I'll make sure you get back to your car in plenty of time to go home and change before going to the hospital."
He turned his back and walked out of the door and in the last seconds before she fell into a deep and blissfully untroubled sleep, she could have sworn she heard him whisper "Take care, my angel."
Chapter Fifteen.
A piercing shout tore through the night, immediately waking Elise and her heart pounded loudly out of her chest. Where the h.e.l.l was she? And what the h.e.l.l was that noise?
Her eyes began to adjust to the darkened room and the memories flooded back. She was in Vaughn's flat, in his spare bedroom and in her dress from last night.
As realisation hit, the sound came again; this time louder and Elise bolted out of bed. It was coming from Vaughn's bedroom, she was sure of it. She looked around for an object she could use in case it was an intruder but came up with nothing. The sound came a third time and this time she didn't hesitate she ran straight up the hallway to his room and pushed open the door, dreading what she would find inside.
It took her eyes a moment to adjust to the dimensions of the room although Vaughn had left the curtains open, and she could make out bits and pieces of furniture from the slithers of moonlight. The bed took up the centre of the room and it was from here that the sound was coming. Vaughn was clearly in the midst of some night-time terror, flailing and thrashing from side to side with the quilt twisted around his torso.
Quickly she crossed the room to the bed and then hesitated for a moment, unsure as to what to do. She remembered reading somewhere that you should never wake someone from a nightmare as it could cause them more harm than good. The fright of being woken had been known to trigger something as serious as a heart attack if her memory served her correctly and actually scaring the life out of him was the last thing that she wanted to do.
Having never encountered something like this before, she was totally out of her element; being in his room like this whilst he was clearly battling his demons just felt too close, too personal, and too raw.
She remained stock-still, paralysed with indecision and warring with her conscience as to what she needed to do. Another howl, this one louder and longer suddenly rent the night; this one almost a real shout of pain and she was instinctively and instantly by his side. It couldn't be right to let another human being suffer through something that was clearly as traumatic as this.
Gently she lowered herself to the side of the bed and reached out to touch his face. His brow and his cheeks were soaked with sweat, his face cold to the touch. Immediately her concern increased and she leaned forwards to put her mouth next to his ear, all the while stroking his cheek in an attempt to calm him.
"Vaughn.." she whispered "Vaughn.. it's OK you're having a dream. I'm here, it's all OK. Wake up please."
Still the thrashing continued although it seemed a little less severe; he remained asleep but the sweating had started to reduce. Encouraged, she continued to whisper soothing words in his ear, tracing her hands over his cheeks and along his jaw bone and then back up across his brow, rea.s.suring him and comforting him.
Eventually, he calmed completely, the flailing stopped and his breathing relaxed and became deeper. Elise continued to sit by his side stroking his face and murmuring soothing words until she was certain that he was asleep again. She had no idea what had caused his terror or indeed if this was a regular occurrence but it didn't really matter. All that was important was that he was OK and, after a while, when she was positive that he was pacified and that the storm had pa.s.sed, she rose from the bed, intent on leaving his room.
She had just reached the door when a deep, s.e.xy voice rumbled through the darkness, nearly scaring the life out of her. She was certain that he had been asleep. She turned back towards the sound that had been irresistibly roughened by sleep.
"Elise where are you going? I was just starting to enjoy myself." The mischief in his voice was blatant and Elise walked back in the direction of the bed, advancing menacingly towards him.
"You b.a.s.t.a.r.d! You scared the life out of me. How long have you been awake?"
"Long enough" he replied, as the grin that was spreading across his face became visible in the moonlight. "I especially liked the part when you said you were here for me and that you would keep me safe; I thought maybe I was still dreaming!"
Without thinking, Elise launched herself at the bed and came into contact with six foot of solid muscle. Strong arms banded around her middle as she began to beat her fists on his chest, all the while berating him for letting her believe that he was still asleep.
"You......! I thought you were asleep talk about taking advantage!"
Vaughn started laughing, a deep rumbling sound that reverberated through his body and before long Elise joined in. The man was incorrigible, and she loved seeing this playful side to him even if it had been a joke at her expense.
"Honestly!" she huffed when she had managed to get her breath back, "That's one trick I've not seen before!"
"Neither have I!" replied Vaughn still laughing, "I've never used it before I swear!" he said holding up his hands in submission when she raised her eyebrows at him.
"I woke up in the middle of a nightmare and then realised that it was you soothing me - it just seemed too good an opportunity to pa.s.s up. I did plan on waking up eventually, but you left me before I kinda got around to it."
"Ha. Ha." She said dryly, drawing out each of the words. "Whatever turns you on."
She had meant the statement to be sarcastic, humorous even, but the instant the sentence left her mouth, she registered the ambiguity in her choice of words. Suddenly the atmosphere in the room changed as they sat staring at each other, their breathing becoming heavier and faster, as they both recognised the intimacy of their situation. Neither was laughing now as the desire became palpable in the room, the atmosphere charged with invisible energy. Vaughn blew out a shaky breath.
"That would be you, Elise" he said simply, "You are what turns me on."
It took just those few words for the intensity to become unbearable and Elise shifted from his lap where she had ended up during their scuffle to move to the other side of the bed, wanting, no, needing to create some distance between them. As she repositioned herself, she tried not to notice how the covers had dropped to his waist, leaving his chest completely and mouth-wateringly bare. He was even more stunning up close and her fingers began to tingle with a desire to reach out and trace his sculpted perfection. Without any conscious thought, her eyes began a lazy journey down his chest to the deep V that led below the quilt and her mouth went dry as she began to contemplate what beauty lay beneath the covers.
"You like?" Vaughn asked and she immediately blushed, having been caught in the act of unashamedly checking him out.
She laughed to cover her embarra.s.sment "Yes, very nice. I've seen it all before though of course." She waved her hand dismissively in his direction, trying to appear nonchalant.
"Of course" he concurred and turned to face her, a devilish smile lighting his face.
"So here we are. You, me, my bed. What do you suppose we should do now?"
He wiggled his eyebrows at her and she raised hers in return before leaning over and giving him a light punch on his upper arm.
"Ow!" he said "What was that for?"
"You need to get your thoughts out of the gutter, Vaughn Granger. I merely came in here to check on my boss who appeared to be in the throes of some night-time terror. Now that I know that he is absolutely fine..." she deliberately let her eyes run slowly up and down his chest adding meaning to her words, "I'll be on my way".
With a wink she vaulted off the bed and headed to the door but Vaughn was quicker and grabbed her upper arm, hauling her back to his lap.
"Hey," she squealed, "That's not playing fair you're easily stronger than me!"
"Something that I intend to use to my advantage!" Vaughn replied laughing and immediately Elise stiffened, the words inadvertently so close to something that Dale would say.
Vaughn hastily released her when he felt her stiffen and settled her down next to him. He must have realised what he had said and gently placed a comforting arm around her shoulders, rubbing his hand absently up and down her arm.
"G.o.d, Elise, I'm so sorry what an idiot I am. It just came out I said it without thinking. You know I would never use my strength against you in that way. Never!"
"I know, Vaughn." she sighed and looked at him a little sadly. She did know. She could trust this man, she was absolutely certain of that.
"It was just a bit too close, that was all. It's hard not to be sensitive sometimes."
"I can only imagine what it must be like for you. I hate that you have had to live that life and I wish you would let me help you to get away from all that - to show you what kind of life you could have. You need to let him go Elise. You know you do."
"Maybe..." she allowed "But there is no guarantee that what we are feeling this ridiculous attraction - will stand for anything more in the end. The pa.s.sion will undoubtedly burn out and you will want to move on and I'll be left dried-up and on my own. I know it seems crazy but at least I know Dale will always be there and...maybe I'm not strong enough to be on my own just yet."
Vaughn sucked in a deep breath and then turned to face her. "You won't be on your own Elise, I can promise you that. I don't know what the future holds any more than you do. All I know is what I am feeling right now. How much I want you, how much I want to be with you. How much I need you. I can't promise forever but I can promise right now and maybe we could both work through things together." he paused momentarily, no doubt referring his recent nightmare.
"I know it's crazy and I know we've only known each other a few days and I know that it makes no sense. But it's like we are meant to be, Elise we were meant to meet and whatever happens I will never leave you. Even if we don't have a relationship or if it were to end, I will always be here as your friend. Please believe me, Elise."
"I do believe you," she said quietly, "it's just that I find it hard to trust people. I've been conditioned - into a certain way and however sad that is, that is the life that I know and that I understand. Anything else well, that just takes a bit of getting used to."
Vaughn leaned over and brushed his lips across her temple, leaving a simmering trail of fire in his wake.
"We good?" he asked.
"Yeah, we're good."
He smiled sadly at her, "I am so sorry for the life that you have to lead."
Slowly he leaned down and brushed his lips across her temple again; only this time he continued the trail down the side of her face and to her cheek, nuzzling the sensitive underside of her ear on the way.
Elise shivered and subconsciously turned her face towards him, seeking more of his warmth, his touch, his lips. Vaughn lifted his head up from where he had been nibbling her ear and looked deep into her eyes.
"Are you sure?" he asked "We don't have to do this, you know. I just want to be close to you and if you're not ready for more, I completely understand."
"I do want this, Vaughn" she answered shakily "More than I can tell you right now. Even with my relationship and how wrong I know this is it just feels so right. I don't understand this Vaughn, but I know that I want this."
"It is right, Elise, we have to believe that everything else can be sorted, I promise. Let's just have tonight Elise. Let me hold you."
She nodded almost imperceptibly and moved back into the security of his lap, both of them now sitting on the edge of the bed and Vaughn still somehow coc.o.o.ned in the duvet. He immediately pulled her tight to him and pressed his lips into her hair, smoothing his hands down her partially bare back.
"Mmmm.." he murmured, "I love your taste in clothes. You have no idea how s.e.xy this dress is. It made me seriously hard just watching you." He looked at her as if considering something, "You should wear your hair up more often; you have the most incredible neck."
As if to prove his point, he set about kissing her neck from the nape up to the tendrils of hair at the base of her hairline, stopping now and again to nip little bites of flesh between his teeth.
Elise groaned and dropped her head back to allow him better access which he instantly took, pulling her closer to him and nipping and licking his way around the whole of her neck and across her collarbone. Christ, this man was good.
The shivering became more intense and she felt her nipples harden. The design of the dress didn't allow for a bra so she knew that if he looked, he would see the hard points jutting out proudly and it would be blatantly obvious how turned on she was.
Twisting slightly to face him, she reached behind his head and linked her fingers, stroking them in the dark curly hair which rested at the base of his neck. She ran her thumbs along the underside of his jaw and then up to his lips, to the half smile that she had been wanting to run her fingers along ever since she first saw him. As she made her way across his mouth, he abruptly opened it and drew her thumb in, sucking on it and gently nipping the fleshy pad.
Elise felt her breath halt and a gush of wetness flow down to her panties at the simple eroticism of the gesture and she wiggled on his lap to ease some of the tension. The movement brought her into direct contact with his erection and they both hissed out a breath.
"Jesus, Elise" he ground out, "What you do to me."
Hurriedly, Vaughn closed the final distance between them and took her mouth with his with no warning and no pleasantries. He just took what he wanted and, in an odd way, Elise liked that despite it being everything she abhorred in Dale. She knew that this man was different and that he would stop if she asked him to. Right now, she had absolutely no intention of doing that.
She met his mouth stroke for stroke, opening when his tongue sought entrance and groaning as she felt him duel with hers. He deepened the kiss, running his tongue along the inside of her teeth, her lips, across the roof of her mouth.
The contact of their mouths wasn't enough, and her hands began an exploration of their own across his back, revelling in the muscles that moved and twitched as she continued to caress him. Dragging her hands down his side, she felt him draw in a quick breath and he reluctantly released her mouth, his eyes never leaving hers.
"You are so beautiful 'Lise so, so beautiful."
Absently she registered the shortening of her name which usually she detested but somehow, in this situation and when this man said it, it sounded so unbelievably s.e.xy that she found she had no desire to correct him.
Continuing her exploration, her hands traced across his chest, starting with his perfectly defined pecs and pausing briefly at his flat nipples. Giving them each a cheeky squeeze, she moved on down towards his abs; tracing each one in turn, loving the fact that he had only a little chest hair in all the right places. Finally she moved lower, down to the V that disappeared beneath the quilt and he drew in another sharp breath before grabbing her hands to stop her.
"Any more of that and I will seriously embarra.s.s myself." he said with a wry grin.
Reluctantly, she moved her hands back up to his shoulders. "Spoil-sport" she whispered.
He laughed and captured her mouth again, instantly entering her and deepening the kiss. They stayed locked together for long minutes, holding each other tighter, impossibly so until Vaughn eventually broke the kiss.
"My turn now." he murmured against her lips and turned her around on his lap so that she was facing away from him.
Gently he placed his hands on her shoulders and ma.s.saged her neck, releasing the kinks and knots from the tension she held so tightly there. She felt herself turn to liquid under his touch, more completely relaxed than she could ever remember being.
Once he had finished with her neck, he slowly brushed his hands down her arms, stopping at her shoulders briefly to loosen the straps of her dress so that he could place a gentle kiss on each one. His fingers continued to caress a path all the way down to her hands where he linked their fingers together and began kissing around her neck again and suckling on her earlobe.
Elise sighed; this was the most amazing experience of her life and the man had hardly touched her. Inside she was still aware that this was fundamentally wrong, but she just couldn't seem to gather the strength to bring it to an end. She had been waiting an eternity to be loved like this and even before things had turned sour, Dale had never treated her with this amount of care he was always more interested in his own needs and if hers were taken care of too, then that was merely a bonus.
Vaughn had now moved their joined hands to her midriff where he gently disentangled his and then lifted hers up, encouraging her to link them behind his neck.
"When you did that in the nightclub tonight," he whispered, "it was so f.u.c.king s.e.xy, I thought I would explode."
Slowly his hands began a journey back down her arms, his lips still taunting her earlobe and neck. At first he skated around the outside of her b.r.e.a.s.t.s, just brushing against the outer curve down to her stomach and then back up, coming to rest on her collarbone. He briefly dipped his fingers just inside the loose collar of her dress before retracing his steps back down the side of her b.r.e.a.s.t.s again until he came back to her midriff.