"I love you, Vaughn Granger." She whispered and she watched as he registered what she had just said and what she had just admitted. She needed to tell him, was glad that she had told him it was another one of her ducks that she was desperately trying to get in a row.
When he went to speak, she placed her finger over his lips. "Sshhh..." she said. "I don't need you to say anything, just believe that it's true. I truly love you, Vaughn Granger with all my heart."
He shook his head in disbelief as he slowly left the room and she swiped away an ever-present tear as she watched him go.
From now on it was all about honesty and she needed Vaughn to understand how she felt. She could see how much it was costing him to watch her suffer and she already knew that it was killing Cole too. She understood that she had to sort this out for all of their sakes and 'put a stop to it' just as Vaughn had said but she still felt that she wanted just one last opportunity to try with Dale - to reason with him and see if she could understand what his motivation was. Maybe she was being completely foolish but she wanted to try one last time to make peace with him before she talked to the police and thereafter sealed her husband's fate.
Chapter Thirty-Eight.
The door to Elise's hospital room opened a short while later and Dale entered accompanied by Sean. She was pleased to see the burly security guard and glad that he hadn't lost his job because of her stupid behaviour. As Dale went to approach her bed, Sean put a hand on his arm to stop him but Elise beckoned him forwards. She needed to talk to him and that couldn't be done whilst he was standing at the other end of the room.
"I have instructions to stay in the room, Miss Grayson will that be okay with you?" Sean asked. Elise nodded; she felt much safer knowing that he was here and she knew that he would be discreet with anything that he overheard. That was part of his job description.
"Sean," she said as he went to retreat to the door, "I am sorry. I hope that it didn't cause you too much trouble."
"Nothing I'm not used to, Miss." he said and mock-saluted her as he took up position just beside the door. She smiled. She really did like Sean and she felt bad for what she had put him through this afternoon.
Dale was stood by the bed watching her and she took a moment to a.s.sess his appearance. He wasn't looking great; she didn't know where he had been whilst she had been recovering at Celeste's flat but it didn't look like he had spent much time in the shower or with a razor. His eyes that had once been so kind and sparkling were dull, no doubt contributed to by the quant.i.ty of alcohol that was regularly in his system, and his face was looking more worn than mature. Elise felt saddened to see her husband like this and she couldn't help but be sorry for the man that he had become. If only he had agreed to the counselling that they had been offered back when all of this had started, then maybe things would have been okay now but she also wondered if he would have taken this path anyway. Some people were just wired with a self-destruct b.u.t.ton which was ready to detonate at any given moment, and maybe Dale was just one of those people. If their inability to have a child hadn't triggered it, then there probably would have been some other event.
She looked up and their eyes met briefly and she had to close hers almost instantly to prevent the sick feeling that was in her stomach from turning into full-on nausea. As soon as she had looked at him she had been transported back to Christmas Day and she knew that whatever happened from here on in, she would never be able to forgive him for such a brutal attack.
Neither of them spoke for long minutes and the silence stretched almost uncomfortably. Eventually Elise could bear it no longer and opened her eyes to address her husband; the man who had once been the love of her life and the man who had caused untold pain to her and all of the people that she cared about.
"Why, Dale?" she asked simply. That was all she needed to say. Wasting time on lengthy pleasantries wasn't going to change anything.
He shrugged and he looked around the room, his eyes darting everywhere, refusing to meet hers. "Because you're mine, Elise. If you're not with me then you are not with anyone and if that means that I have to make threats....." his voice tailed off as if he suddenly realised exactly what he was saying.
He tried again. "It's simple Elise. I love you. There is no one else. When I found out that you had been cheating on me, I didn't know what to do. Part of me hoped that it wasn't true but part of me relished the idea of having a genuine reason to punish you. I've had a lot of time to think over the last few days and I'm not proud for having those thoughts." He stopped and reached over to take her hand, recoiling instantly when she flinched.
"I want to get better, Elise. I want to get over this...problem...that I have with alcohol and I know that the type of person that I have become is not who you want to be with. I can see that now and I can understand why but you are my wife - in sickness and in health and till death do us part - I cannot let you be with anyone else. You are the one who has cheated, Elise, and maybe makes us both as bad as each other."
Elise went to say something, to fight her corner and defend her actions but he held up his hand to stop her.
"No," he said, "I need to say this. I have looked into some courses over the last few days, counselling courses, rehabilitation, and I have spoken to the bosses at work. They have agreed to let me have time off to sort through all this and get better, which is what I am going to do. I recognise that I am on a path of self-destruction and I don't want to be that way anymore, Elise. Maybe we can't get the old life back but I want us to try again. Tomorrow is the New Year and I want us to make a new start; me and you, back together, exactly as things should be. There doesn't need to be anyone else in either of our lives. We have always been everything that we each needed."
Elise couldn't believe what she was hearing. After everything that had happened she couldn't believe that Dale was just standing there, as calm as anything, explaining how things were going to work out and just expecting her to go along with it.
"We can't be together, Dale, it's impossible. Can't you see that?" Elise said, trying to appeal to his rational side, even though she was no longer convinced he had one. "We don't work together anymore and I can't be what you want any more than you can be what I want. We've been together a long time, we've grown up together but we've also grown apart. We both have to recognise that." She paused, contemplating how best to continue.
"I could press charges against you, Dale, you know that. I was in a really bad way after Christmas Day and it could have been much worse. You got lucky today with that stunt you pulled but there is still more than enough evidence for me to make a pretty d.a.m.ning case. Everyone wants me to do that they all think you deserve to rot in jail for what you have done - but for the sake of the memory of our marriage I won't do that. As far as I am concerned, I just want us to go our separate ways and work through a divorce as calmly and as amicably as possible. Please, Dale. Just accept the inevitable and let me go." She stopped and took a breath waiting for his reaction, hoping against hope that he would see sense and accept that things between them were over. She was proud of him for looking into the counselling and she knew that that was what he needed but she wasn't the woman to support him through that he just needed to realise it.
Dale moved a little closer to the bed and then glanced at the door before lowering his voice.
"The thing is Elise, it's not that simple. I hear what you're saying and I don't know, maybe you're right. But I'm not ready to give up on you yet and those vows that we made ten years ago - they were for life. The only way I can grant you a way out of them is if you are no longer alive. As you are the party who has cheated, you don't have a leg to stand on as far as a divorce is concerned. You will need me to agree to it or we will have to stay married for a period of legal separation which means that wherever you go and whatever you do, you will still be my wife."
He had obviously been doing his homework and Elise shuddered at how clinical he made it all sound. She didn't know much about divorce law but she couldn't believe that she had no grounds at all. What about 'unreasonable behaviour'? She had heard that bandied around the office on numerous occasions someone was always getting divorced these days.
"What about unreasonable behaviour?" she voiced the thought out loud.
Dale laughed and it was almost chilling. "Yes, maybe you could claim unreasonable behaviour but don't forget that by your own admission, you have not reported anything to the police. To report something now to gain a divorce may not be seen in the best light. And if you went down that route, all of our dirty laundry your dirty laundry would be well and truly aired in public. Do you really want that, Elise?"
She considered for a moment and shook her head, a feeling of dread beginning to creep through her body as she began to realise that maybe he wasn't going to let her go and maybe things weren't going to be as simple as she had naively a.s.sumed that they would be.
"But I don't love you, Dale." She decided to try a different tack. "How can we continue a marriage when you know how I feel? It would just be a sham. Surely you want the opportunity to try again? To find someone who can truly give you what you need? That way we can both be happy and live our own lives with nothing but fond memories." Not all fond memories but she was grasping at straws. Panic was beginning to take hold and she realised that unless Dale complied with her wishes, she would never be free.
"I don't want anyone else Elise, I want you. And I believe that in time, we can be happy again. I am going to do the courses and the therapy and try to stop the drinking. I am going to do all of that for you. And, in time, maybe we can talk about children again and consider starting the family that we have always wanted to have."
Elise almost laughed at that. The thought of bringing a child into this relationship was just ridiculous; how could he possibly think that anyone would let them have a child? He was seriously deluded.
"I'm sorry Dale but I can't be with you. If we have to do this separation thing, then so be it. I am leaving you. I need to be away from this relationship that is destroying us both. It's not healthy for either of us and the sooner you realise that the better."
Dale looked at her for a long moment as if considering something and then he delivered a speech which made her go cold from head to toe.
"I didn't want it to be this way Elise, but if it has to be then so be it. You will come back to me, you will support me through everything and we will go back to being the way that we were. And do you know why you will do that? I'll tell you why." He took a deep breath as if pausing for dramatic effect.
"Little Olivia has been most helpful over the last few days and she has got me some...information...which would be very damaging in the wrong hands. Your lover-boy Vaughn; - his money, Elise. Do you know where it came from?" he watched her closely as if waiting for a reaction. She gave none.
"I'm sure you don't, it's not something that he would be proud to tell anyone, I don't suppose. It's not clean money, Elise, it's bad money, every single last penny of it and if you don't agree to my terms, then I will personally see to it that your 'boyfriend' is ruined. By the time I've finished with him, he'll wish he'd never been born." Dale looked almost proud as he delivered that statement, clearly the knowledge that he believed he could ruin Vaughn in some way, was a defining moment for him.
"Don't underestimate me on this, Elise." He continued. "If he means anything to you at all then you will come back with me, we will continue our life together and I will leave him and your precious pretty-boy friend alone. He has a few skeletons hanging around too you know. Things that I'm fairly certain neither he nor you would wish to be in the public domain."
Dale continued to watch her and then as she remained silent he began to laugh; an ugly, calculating sound. A sound that echoed throughout the room, and a sound that was ultimately the most sickening thing that she had ever heard.
This was it. This is what it came down to. It was blackmail, pure and simple, and the sacrifice, the payment and the monetary compensation was her her life. If she agreed to Dale's terms, then Vaughn could carry on with his life and no one would know anything. She had no idea what the information was that Dale held or how Olivia had come to find it, but knowing the girl as she was now starting to, Elise had no doubt that Olivia had dug up something unsavoury. She didn't want to know the particulars; in fact, it didn't matter to her as she loved Vaughn regardless of how he had come by his money, but the last thing that she wanted was for his life to be ruined because he was a.s.sociated with her. It was bad enough that Dale was ruining her life, without dragging the two other people that mattered most to her in the world into it.
When Vaughn had been talking to her, he had told her that she had to put a stop to this, for everyone's sakes and now she could see that she had no option if she wanted to do that. Dale had backed her into a corner and played his trump card and he knew that she would lay her life on the line for both Vaughn and Cole in a heartbeat which was ultimately what he had asked her to do. Her life for theirs. Put like that, there was no choice. She had to go back to Dale and deal with her life and her marriage and she had to do that in order to set the two men that she loved beyond all reason, free.
Slowly, Elise nodded and she could see the triumph in Dale's face as he realised that he had won. He had known exactly what b.u.t.tons to push and he had played her to perfection. He was a master manipulator and once again she had been helpless against his ambush.
"I will collect you in a couple of hours when they release you." he said, "There will be no other visitors until then I will tell the nurse that you are too tired."
"Thank you, Elise." He leaned down to brush a kiss across her cheek and she turned her head away. She was not doing this for him or for any sense of duty she was doing it because she loved Cole and most importantly Vaughn - with every atom of her heart.
As predicted, she was given the all-clear a couple of hours later and Sean entered the room first accompanied by Dale. The security guard looked unhappy and she could only presume that he had heard most of the conversation between Dale and herself and couldn't believe that she had chosen this outcome.
She was dressed and ready to go and was just collecting her handbag from the side locker when Vaughn came rushing into the room, only to stop dead when he saw her preparing to leave with Dale by her side.
"What the f.u.c.k, Elise?" he almost bellowed, "Don't tell me you've given this a.s.shole another chance? I can't believe you would do that! Tell me this isn't happening, Elise. Tell me." He was shouting now and Sean moved to close the door and then stationed himself between the two men as if pre-empting a fight.
"Believe it, Granger," Dale said and Elise swallowed as she watched the hurt and pain course across Vaughn's face. "She's coming back to me and you are not going to stand in our way. Now move the f.u.c.k out of the way of the door."
Vaughn remained exactly where he was, his fists clenching at his sides as he looked across at Elise and she saw the complete disbelief in his eyes. What could she say to him that he would understand? She didn't even really understand it herself.
"You asked me to make it stop." She said softly, her eyes trying to send him signals of love and of hope, trying to make him see that she was doing this for him and only for him.
"I am making it stop."
"The h.e.l.l you are!" he roared and lunged at Dale but Sean was quicker, capturing Vaughn by the arms and effectively holding him.
"Take it easy there, Mr Granger." Sean said and Elise looked at the other man gratefully. He understood the situation, he had been there. He knew what she was doing and why she was doing it and even though he may not approve, he was smart enough to realise that Vaughn lunging at Dale was not going to solve anything.
"Elise has made her decision, Granger," Dale said "and there is nothing that you can do about it. You need to move on and find your own woman preferably one that isn't married." And with that, he grabbed Elise's bag and pushed past Sean who was still holding onto Vaughn and left the room.
Given a couple of precious minutes with this beautiful, wonderful man, Elise took the time to study him and impress his features onto her brain so that she could recall them in another time and another place. He had stolen her heart and now it was breaking into tiny little pieces as she forced herself to put one foot in front of the other and head towards the door.
"Why, Elise? Why?" Vaughn's voice was broken, his face ravaged and destroyed.
"I did it for you Vaughn always for you." she said and then leaned towards him and dropped a kiss on his cheek before whispering in his ear. "You have my heart, you are my heart and you will always be in my heart. I love you, Vaughn Granger. Go live your life and be happy. Goodbye beautiful man."
Not trusting herself to speak anymore, she turned away and left the room deliberately not looking back, not even when she heard his tortured cry. She had to do this. There was no other way to protect the man she loved beyond all reason, and with tears running freely down her cheeks and her heart barely functioning, she walked down the stairs, out of the hospital and out of Vaughn Granger's life forever.
Chapter Thirty-Nine.
Five months later After that fateful day in the hospital, life had slowly begun to rebuild and return to a new normality, far removed from anything that had ever been before.
She had not seen Vaughn since that day. He had left Andrews & Andrews - he didn't need the money and she didn't think it had ever been about that for him anyway. She had no idea where he was or what he was doing but she knew that Stephen still kept in touch. Occasionally she would overhear him talking to Celeste and Annabel but the conversation would always be abruptly halted as soon as she approached.
One time, Stephen had brought some photos in and left them on his desk at lunchtime. Unable to stop herself, Elise had reached over and taken a look. The pictures were all of Stephen and Vaughn at various parties, pubs and clubs. Vaughn looked relaxed and happy, often with a carefree smile and usually a different girl in his arms. That had hurt, seeing photos of him laughing and happy and seeing other girls in his embrace but she knew that they were where they were because of her. It had been her decision to deny hers and Vaughn's relationship, to deny their love and she had been the one to tell him to move on.
The choice she had made all those months since hadn't really been a choice; in reality, the decision had been made ten years before and, as Dale was always happy to remind her, 'for better or for worse' meant forever and that was how it had to stay.
For her she knew that she would never love Dale again; she was completely empty inside now, devoid of emotion. She had left her heart behind the day that she had walked out on Vaughn and with the exception of that beautiful man; there was no one in the world that had the power to heal her again. Despite all that, she knew that this was how it had to be for them - for the good of both of them - but she just wished that one day she would wake up and truly believe in the decision that she had made.
Her relationship with Cole had changed; where once they had been close, they were now equally apart. They still talked, but barely. Every conversation was an effort to the point where neither of them really had the energy to carry on. Cole had never been completely on board with her relationship with Vaughn but she knew that he had liked the man, admired him even and he could see that she had been in love and so he had ultimately accepted things and let it ride. Her happiness was important to him and he had overlooked any misgivings he may have had to maintain her happiness. But when she had decided to return to Dale, that had killed him and Elise knew that. She had seen him die inside when she had told him her decision. He had ranted at her, shouted, raged, pleaded with her to change her mind, but she had calmly explained that she needed to do this; she owed this to Dale and her marriage to make things work. She was lying of course, she didn't owe Dale anything, but as with Vaughn she simply couldn't tell Cole the truth. She couldn't tell him that she had traded her life, her happiness and even her soul for his life and for Vaughn's. She knew that Cole could tell she that was lying but the fact that she wouldn't open up to him hurt him beyond measure and, whilst he told her that he would always look out for her, he couldn't watch her get hurt anymore and he said that he needed to distance himself.
Dale had been true to his word and had attended the counselling and rehabilitation courses and he was making an effort, although their relationship remained strained, it being blatantly evident to both of them that she didn't want to be there. Dale realised that, and she often wondered at someone who wanted to keep a person trapped who clearly didn't want to be there. It didn't make any sense to her but if she ever raised the subject of divorce again, he just shut her down and renewed his threats. He never let her forget that she had cheated on him and Elise had just learned to accept the small improvements that he had made and the general unhappy state in which she lived her life.
His drinking was virtually non-existent now and there had been no violence at all since she had returned. He hadn't touched her s.e.xually either and she was immensely grateful for that. There was no way she wanted him to touch her ever again and she had begun to wonder why he wasn't that bothered either. He seemed to have gone from being one of the most highly-s.e.xed men she knew to someone who didn't even appear to care anymore and that was definitely odd. She didn't dare raise the subject in case it backfired, and she just thanked whoever it was in high heaven for the small mercy that meant his hands never strayed anywhere near her.
Her parents were still largely in the dark. Obviously they had been concerned when she had been hospitalised after the car accident but as she had not really sustained any injuries, neither of them had thought to question anything and once they had made sure that she was safe and well, they had gone back to their lives. For this, she was glad. She needed all of her energy to keep functioning on a daily basis and didn't have anything left in reserve to deal with her parent's worries and fears.
It was hard enough dealing with her own.
Chapter Forty.
Elise walked into the office on a typically depressing Monday morning. Despite the fact that summer was just around the corner, it was raining and had been non-stop all night. The weather seemed to have been particularly bad just recently and she was desperate to see some sun soon in the hope that it might lift her spirits a little.
Stephen wasn't there when she arrived which she thought was strange as he was usually one of the first to get in but perhaps he had had a heavy night the evening before. Thinking that maybe he was battling a bit of a hangover, she dismissed any other thoughts and set about tackling her in-tray.
An hour or so later, Elise realised that she was still alone in her section of the office - no Stephen yet but also no Olivia - very weird. Not that she was sad at the absence of the other girl, but she was beginning to worry that she would be expected to deal with the whole of her section by herself all day. If that was the case, she needed coffee so she headed to the kitchen, carefully avoiding the route which would take her past Vaughn's old office. It was a store room now and had been ever since he had moved upstairs but considering all that had happened since that first day when she had stood in there and argued with him, she found it very difficult to see the visual reminder and she took care to avoid it whenever she could.
Once she had waited for the kettle to boil and made her coffee, she returned to her desk and realised that she was still alone. This was ridiculous; where on earth was Stephen? Getting slightly worried, she decided to give him a call and reached down to her bag by her feet to get her mobile. She and Stephen had become closer over the last few months and she was glad. Although they never talked about Vaughn, having Stephen in her life made her feel a little like she still had some connection to the man that she was still, and always would be, hopelessly in love with.
After searching through her bag fruitlessly, she belatedly realised that she had left her phone at home. She had plugged it into the kitchen socket to get a last few minutes of charge into it before she left home for the day and had completely forgotten to unplug it. Bother. She didn't have Stephen's number anywhere else and she knew that Personnel wouldn't give it to her and that Celeste was off for the day. In the end she decided that the she had two options; either sit it out here and wait, hoping that he would eventually turn up, or quickly drive home and collect her mobile so that she could contact him. It was completely out of character for Stephen to be this late into the office, even taking into account a heavy night, and whilst she registered that she could go upstairs and ask one of the Management team if they knew where he was, she would much rather try to reach him herself which meant only one thing - dashing home. If she left the office now, she would be back within half an hour as she would miss any of the lunchtime rush so decision made, she collected her belongings and car keys. After arranging with Annabel for any messages to be taken, she rapidly ran out to her car and jumped in.
It took her just over ten minutes to get home and pulling into the driveway she was surprised to see that Dale's car was still there. That was strange - she was certain that he had been about to leave at the same time as her and that had been a good couple of hours ago. Concerned that he might be unwell, she put her key in the lock and pushed open the door and as she did so, she heard a scuffle coming from upstairs, which was accompanied by a muted thud. What was that? Maybe Dale really was ill and was running to the bathroom?
After collecting her phone from the kitchen, she trotted up the stairs two at a time to make sure that he was alright and check that he didn't want her to pick him up anything. If he had some kind of virus then he'd probably just want to lie low but as she was here, she may as well make sure.
The bedroom door was closed which was unusual, and she could swear that she heard m.u.f.fled voices as she reached the top of the stairs. As she turned the doork.n.o.b, a sudden feeling of dread hit her and she paused, apprehension taking hold and running through her entire body. She had gone cold from head to toe and began to feel like she was having an out of body experience as she slowly opened the door. When the gap opened wide enough to permit a view inside the room, she initially reeled back in shock as she encountered the last thing that she had ever expected to see.
Dale was indeed in bed but he didn't appear to be unwell; in fact he was very much alive.
Alive and not alone.
Elise took a moment to consider the scene in front of her, waiting for an appropriate emotion to kick in and as she did so, she realised that actually, she felt absolutely nothing. Zilch. Not one single feeling. Not anger, not betrayal, not sadness absolutely nothing.
Instead, she reacted in probably the most inappropriate manner and she burst out laughing. Proper hysterical, full-belly laughs. Right there and then in the doorway of her bedroom, as she was blatantly confronted by her naked husband and his infidelity.
Dale had been watching Elise ever since she had opened the door and to begin with, he had had a smug expression on his face. Now though as she continued to laugh almost uncontrollably, the smugness had disappeared and was replaced with something approaching confusion and maybe even fear. It was if he realised that he wasn't getting the reaction that he expected and was now concerned as to how this scene was going to play out.
"Oh Dale..." Elise said when she could finally talk. "You do realise that you have just made my day, don't you?"
At his confused expression Elise continued, spelling it out for the man so that he could be in no doubt as to what this meant for them and their sham of a marriage.
"The boot is on the other foot now, Dale, and I think you will find that any lawyer will agree to grant me a divorce considering the evidence that is before me. This is it. I am finally and thankfully free and you, my dear husband, no longer have any control over me or my life. I am done, completely and utterly done, and I couldn't be happier. So thank you Dale, for finally allowing us to go our separate ways which is what we should have done a h.e.l.l of a long time ago. I will collect my stuff later on and I don't expect you to be here."
She turned to walk back out of the door feeling completely and utterly elated. She was free, entirely and absolutely free and the irony was that it had been inadvertently granted by the one man who had been keeping her captive all of that time. Her husband. He had messed up, he had been playing away and now, in some sort of karma, he had been caught and there was absolutely nothing that he could do anymore. The power had shifted and she felt happier and freer than she had in a very long time. With a beaming smile, she began to descend the stairs and then as an afterthought, a further twist almost, she turned back to the still open door and addressed Dale's companion.
"At least I now know why you weren't at work today, Olivia."
She delivered the statement calmly, immune to the shocked look on the other girl's face and then she walked down the stairs, out of the front door and finally out of Dale Breedon's life.
It felt d.a.m.n good.
Back in her car, Elise headed in the direction of the office feeling as if a huge weight had been lifted. She couldn't believe that she was finally free and that this time it was actually over. Without any shadow of a doubt whatsoever. At long last her relationship with Dale had ended. He didn't have any grounds to refuse her a divorce now and he no longer had any hold over her. The days of hurt and pain could be put behind her and she could move on with her future. Ultimately it had been Dale that had ended things by his actions but she didn't care as long as it was over. All she knew was that she had been given her wings and now she was going to stretch them out and fly free, away from the poisonous world she'd been living in and onto something pure and new, something untainted. Something real.
At least she now understood why Dale hadn't been worried about having s.e.x with her. For an instant she almost felt sorry for Olivia, wondering if the girl knew what she was getting into, but she found that actually, she really didn't care. Olivia had made her feelings towards Elise perfectly clear over the last few months and in some respects, Elise felt that Olivia and Dale deserved each other. Good luck to them all she knew was that whatever plan they had plotted had totally backfired and she was the happiest she had been for a very long time.
As she continued to drive she maintained the huge smile on her face, anxious to get back to the office to talk to Stephen and tell him what had happened. She knew that she didn't deserve anything as far as Vaughn was concerned but if she spoke to Stephen, then maybe he could give her some idea as to whether or not there may now be a future for her and Vaughn. She desperately hoped that there could be; she was still in love with him and would be for as long as she lived.