"However, I've been feeling that something seems strangely off for some time now."
Feeling something was strangeit was a statement too vague to describe in detail, yet Nathan Zuckerman didn't ask Yuder what exactly he meant. He didn't even ask for a more detailed explanation.
Instead, he looked at Yuder thoughtfully for a long moment before asking just one question.
"When did you start feeling this way?"
When indeed? Yuder's memory started to rewind like a flying arrowpassing today, bypassing yesterday, and moving even further back in time.
"I'm not quite sure. I started becoming uneasy after I left the capital, I think..."
It was around that time that Yuder woke up sensing an unusual chill in Kishiar's absence. But then again, he had noticed Kishiar keeping a strategy game board by his side even before that. And he hadn't found it strange from the time he began paying attention to it...
"...Actually, subtle changes I hadn't noticed before seem to have been present even earlier."
Yuder sighed deeply as he met Nathan Zuckerman's gaze.
"I think it started after I took your advice, Sir Zuckerman, and had a conversation with the commander."
Yes, it had started the day they played a strategy game together. Kishiar had kept that board in his office ever since.
"..."
"At first, I didn't think it was strange. Even now, I wonder if I'm just being overly anxious. However..."
"Hmm. I don't think that's the case," Nathan Zuckerman replied swiftly.
"If Sir Yuder thinks something is off, then something must be there."
"Do you feel the same, Sir Zuckerman?"
"No."
The answer came back so fast it was almost disconcerting.
From my perspective, there hasnt been much difference from usual.
"Even though he's been keeping the strategy game board by his side more often?"
"He did that at times when we were in Peletta too. When he had a particularly engaging match or faced a challenging problem, he would keep the board next to him for days, even during meals."
"Then why did you say what you just did?"
"Just because I don't find it strange doesn't mean you have to feel the same way."
"..."
"Isn't that how you feel?"
Those calmly spoken words brought Yuder's thoughts to a sudden halt.
"As far as I've observed, if Sir Yuder suspects something odd about the Commander, it's worth considering, even if there's no immediate reason to believe it. You know him better than anyone, don't you?"
It was strange. Nathan Zuckerman had always insisted on keeping a watchful eye on Yuder to protect Kishiar. But now, his words seemed to suggest the opposite.
However, his deep navy blue eyes displayed no wavering, as if stating an obvious truth. Somewhat flustered, Yuder murmured,
"Me, know him better?"
"If you don't think so, then that would be surprising."
"It's odd for me to say that I know the commander better when you are here, Sir Zuckerman."
"Well, knowing someone isn't simply a matter of time spent together. There are knights who have practiced swordsmanship for 20 years but know less about the sword than those who've trained for just one year, aren't there?"
The knight, who had given a response likely to raise the ire of anyone like Kiolle da Diarca, let out a contemplative hum. Moments later, he gestured with a box of sweets he had set aside during their conversation.
"It might be a bit odd to continue our conversation in this corner. Would you care to have some tea in my room?"
Life had led to this: sitting in Nathan Zuckerman's room, discussing matters about Kishiar over tea. Yuder sat in a neatly arranged guest room, which was identical in layout to the one he had been given. He looked down at the cup of tea and sweets that Nathan had offered. Although skeptical about immediately consuming the sweets that had been purchased on Kishiar's orders, he figured it didn't matter much to Kishiar. Yuder shrugged it off.
"Let's get to the point," Yuder said, raising his cup to his lips.
The knight opened his mouth promptly after glancing at Yuder sipping his tea.
"You may find it strange, but I can't say that I know everything about my lord."
"Haven't you served him since you were children?"
"Technically, since I was nine. His Highness, the Second Prince, took me in when he visited the southern palace to escape the summer heat. I was a lowly servant who couldn't even wash his feet properly at the time."
Yuder thought back; he had seen Nathan Zuckerman's face quite often in his previous life. This loyal knight had helped clean up the mess following the manifestation of his second gender, and there had even been a one-on-one duel between them when he had defied Kishiar.
'A significant incident where both of us ended up wounded, and I discovered that Nathan Zuckerman was a hidden Swordmaster.'
But he had never heard this level of detail before.
Perhaps Nathan was sharing a past he'd rather not talk about, but his voice showed no sign of hesitation.
"From a servant to a personal attendant, then eventually becoming the closest chief attendant and his sword disciple. After moving to Peletta, I served as his adjutant. However, serving someone so closely means that you have to willingly turn a blind eye to some aspects of their life."
The knight paused, his gaze seemingly probing the distant horizon as it got lost in the pale-red tea before him.
"I couldn't do anything to alleviate his greatest pain, and when he faced death, all I could do was fend off everyone in the castle, as per his wishes. That was the limit imposed on me."
""
"But you don't have to do that. You can do anything."
Those words sounded somewhat similar to what he had said to Yuder earlier about Kishiar, who had borrowed a few banned books. It was as if Nathan felt Yuder knew everything there was to know, not only about the Cavalry and the Knights of Peletta but also about Nathan himself, Kishiar, and others.
However, what was different now was the absence of the complicated look and inner turmoil that Nathan usually showed when he looked at Yuder.
After a moment of contemplation, Yuder asked, "But what if acting without certainty leads to unfavorable consequences for the Commander?"
The knight's eyes narrowed slightly.
"It's somewhat surprising to hear such a thing from you, Sir Aile."
"What's so strange about it?"
"Nothing. Well, in any case, if you think something should be done, don't ask me. Just do as you see fit. I doubt that anything you do would result in unfavorable outcomes for my lord."
...
Nathan Zuckerman's unexpected words left Yuder feeling odd. The strangeness magnified when considering their relationship in a previous life.
"If you need my help in this matter, I'll listen first and assist where I can. I do owe you a great debt, after all."
Yuder remained silent for a long while. A sense of uncertainty, like a fleeting mirage, slowly began to coalesce and settle in his chest.
Throughout the long pause as Yuder gathered his thoughts, Nathan Zuckerman silently sipped his tea, patiently waiting for a response.
That respectful distance finally gave Yuder the assurance he needed.
'Perhaps this current turmoil is due to Kishiar hiding something from me. Once I uncover it, everything will end.'
Yuder downed the lukewarm tea in a single gulp, looked at the now-empty cup that had somehow gone unnoticed, and nodded.
"Thank you for your advice. I'll handle it from here."
"Yes."
"But I have one question. What do you think is the most likely reason for Kishiar acting normal, even hiding his true intentions from both of us?"
"I'm not certain if this will suffice as an answer," Nathan Zuckerman's weighty voice filled the room, "but from what I know, when my lord hides something while maintaining an appearance of calm, it is usually because he finds it difficult to control himself."
Difficult to control himself.
The myriad implications of those words brushed Yuder's mind like a flash of light.
Kishiar was a generous and considerate man, but Yuder knew there was one aspect in which he became utterly unyielding: it was Kishiar himself.
"Understood. Thank you."
With a nod to Nathan Zuckerman, Yuder left the room.
"Next! Applicant number 439, Seeker!"
One of the applicants for the second round of recruitment of Cavalry in the west stepped forward. As the robust young man let out a shout, his leg muscles explosively swelled.
"Huah!"
With a stomp, his body soared high into the sky. Those watching let out exclamations of admiration.
"Woah"
Moments later, the young man landed back on the ground, creating a large indentation with the sheer force of his landing. He was an exceptional Awakener, able to jump as high as a fortress wall just by using the strength of his legs alone.
'But if we hire that guy, within a year, he will quit and we'll find out he's a spy sent from the aristocratic faction. Acting like a sincere fellow, he would have taken a year's worth of information and fled.'
Yuder, observing the man with a chilly gaze, swiftly drew a line through the name written on the paper before him. Seeker would not be joining the Cavalry this time.
Kishiar, sitting beside him, quietly muttered, "Another rejection, huh."
"Yes."
"There are more failing here than in the East."
"If you find it regrettable, you could pass him."
"As if I would do that."
A smile appeared at the corner of Kishiar's mouth. Yuder studied that bright smile a little longer, and more closely, than usual.
Since the night they had drunk alcohol while playing a strategy game at Baron Koelt's residence, Kishiar hadn't repeated the same activity. Whether Kishiar's behavior was intentional, knowing that Yuder felt something was amiss, Yuder couldn't tell. Regardless, he hadn't found the opportunity to ask.
No, at this point, it's safe to say it was intentional.
From morning, there had been about three instances where Kishiar would skillfully interrupt or make light of the situation whenever Yuder tried to look at him too long or speak earnestly. Kishiar was a master of subtle rhetoric, so subtle that even Yuder had a hard time picking up on it.
See, even now
"Why are you staring at me for so long? I doubt you find this changed face more appealing than my usual one."
Kishiar turned his head, catching Yuder's gaze, and narrowed his eyes.
"...Your hair got disheveled when the applicant shook the ground just now."
"Really? I didn't notice."
Kishiar combed his hair a few times nonchalantly and then bent his head down with unabashed confidence, asking Yuder to fix it for him. Hesitant for a moment, Yuder reached out and touched his now ordinary brown hair. Despite appearing rough to the eye, the texture felt as smooth as usual under his fingers.
As he straightened Kishiar's hair, Yuder found himself realizing just how vulnerable he had become to the man.
That's why I even went to consult with Nathan Zuckerman.
Not wanting to act without certainty meant not wanting to cause Kishiar even a sliver of pain due to his own miscalculations. He didn't want to see the man suffer any further because of him.
The only thing that could make Yuder feel that way was Kishiar alone.
"I'm disqualified? Why? What am I lacking?"
Just then, the shout of an applicant who had been told he was disqualified filled the air. Every stomp he made shook the ground as if it would crumble, causing the area where they sat to sway wildly. Screams of terror tore through the air.
Frowning, Yuder raised his hand.
The wind and earth obeyed him, moving fluidly to align with his will.
"Argh!"
Caught in a sudden gust of wind full of dirt, the rampaging applicant covered his face and rolled on the ground. The once unstable terrain instantly stabilized. Sensing the immense power behind the movement, the Awakeners all turned their heads toward Yuder.
In their gazes filled with both fear and awe, Yuder stood up slowly and addressed the rejected applicant.
"People like you who only rely on your own strength and run wild have no place in the Cavalry. Make sure you pass that message on to those who come after you."
"Wh-what...?"
"Get lost."
"Argh!"
With a flick of Yuder's wrist, the man was swept up in a gust of wind and sent flying over the wall. As his screams grew fainter in the distance, so did the attention of those who had been watching.
"..."