If this was death, it was nothing like what Keilusa had long envisioned.
The death he had imagined was never this serene or peaceful.
According to the hidden records of the imperial family, those born with cracked vessels endured horrifying pain. As their lives wore on, the intervals between their bouts of pain grew shorter. When death approached, they would lie in bed for days, unable to rise, suffering immense pain that no analgesic could alleviate.
There were records of them screaming in forms that could no longer be recognized as human, praying for the swift end to it all. Records of those who lost their minds from unbearable pain, becoming gibbering idiots. Records of those who, when even drugs failed to work, attacked the servants who brought the medication and tore at their own flesh like beasts.
Some had stabbed their own bellies and heads, laughing while doing so. A wet nurse had killed herself alongside the young princess when she found out the girl had a cracked vessel. Another young man had clenched his teeth and torn at his nails until they fell off, resembling an old man when he finally passed.
These accounts described a hell where one could think of nothing but death.
So, Keilusa had assumed his end wouldn't be much different. The only distinction between himself and the others would be whether he had lived longer before the cracked vessel became too much. Either way, the end would be the same.
Clinging to a fragile life only for the body to ultimately shatter after the vessel completely broke, dying horribly without even leaving a corpse behind. The coffin would be filled with an intricately crafted dummy, and the reason for his death would be erased from history.
He would die a failure, achieving nothing by his own hands and leaving behind only pain for those who were dear to him.
'...'
As bitterness swelled within him, his mind was instantly filled with thoughts of those precious people.
There was the kindly younger brother who didn't bear a grudge even though he had taken the position once destined for him. Instead, the younger brother had expressed a wish to walk the same path with him, albeit in different places.
The old chief attendant, who had stayed by the Emperor's side since the previous reign, worrying for an Emperor who was still too young and unsure to retire.
His parents, who were no longer with him but had taught him to never settle for reality.
And...
A young, headstrong girl he once thought could bear his child and carry on the future of the empire.
A certain woman who had shaken his heart like no one else had or would.
As he thought of that last person, Keilusa heard a sound like winter winds rustling barren branches.
He had known that woman since she was a girl wearing a dress that reflected the color of water, her cheeks flushed like a peach. Oblivious to the fact that he was the Crown Prince, she had awkwardly smiled while asking for advice on how to gracefully withdraw from the Crown Princess Candidate Test. Because of her smile, a stiff boy who had known nothing beyond books made the choice to hold someones hand and step out into the world. Through her touch, he realized just how green and expansive this world was.
How many flowers could actually bloom in what he had considered a dead imperial palace.
How grand the trees were and how many butterflies, bees, and birds took refuge in them.
How each dawn, which he thought was always the same, was actually so new.
Through her, he learned of the scents and the beauty of things that he had never realized were never the same twice.
Realizing that if she were gone, he would lose everything all over again, he clung to her with all his might. For the first time in his life, he had been selfish. He begged, he pleaded, and in the end, she took Keilusa's hand.
In Keilusa La Orr's life, she was the most beautiful girl. When they sat beside each other, it felt as if all the darkness in the world retreated, melting away.
Was this serenity the cost of never seeing her again? The moment the thought crossed his mind, he felt an immense pain erupting from an unknown place.
Even within the sanctuary he had longed for, Keilusa realized he wanted to see her face one more time than to bask in this tranquility.
Eyes that twinkled like a calm lake in the sunlight. Hair that was the color of ripe autumn wheat. Lips that were hesitant around people, but could smile more warmly than anyone else.
A face resilient as a flower that, despite being wounded and withering many times, blooms again the following year.
Ah, where could she be?
The last vision of her face was fading. She might have been crying, and he hadn't been there to wipe her tears away. Was he destined to lose her in this darkness, unable even to recall her face, left only to yearn for her forever?
I don't need such peace, he thought.
If he could see her once more.
If he could wipe away her flowing tears and tell her that he's at peace now.
Just one more time...
Really, just once.
After that, she would find her own peace, and he could endure eternal suffering as the price.
It was at that moment.
"Your Majesty."
He heard a voice.
A jolt of shock went through him. It was her, the woman he had been thinking of so fervently. She was calling out to him from somewhere.
Her voice trembled with sorrow and passion as it repeated, "Your Majesty, Your Majesty," and then finally whispered another name.
"Keilusa."
Ah, what was the point of staying in this serenity any longer?
If he couldn't see her again, no sanctuary would have meaning for Keilusa.
With an earnest heart, Keilusa La Orr called out her name.
Not the awkward name that her adoptive parents had forced upon her, but the single name she was born with.
"Faria."
At that moment, something changed within him.
An invisible seed of transformation instantly blossomed, overturning everything. Even the smallest particles making up his physical body were transformed into something new, as if sprouting from within. Keilusa groaned in tremendous pain.
He instinctively understood that some force was consolidating within him. Although he felt as if he was barely holding together, like tattered cloth, the awakened seed in his body didn't block the pain but rather surged forward, amplifying it.
Shattered fragments came together. Unintelligible sounds pounded his ears like a torrential downpour.
Time and space became indistinguishable as eternity seemed to rush by.
"..."
"Your Majesty!"
The Emperor finally opened his eyes.
It was an inexplicable, mysterious moment.
Yuder reflexively opened his eyes again because of the Emperor's body, which had begun to tremble at an accelerated pace from the moment the Empress's lips touched his. What reflected in his eyes was something entirely different from what others were witnessing.
Kishiar had strained to keep the Emperor's inner red energy from dissipating. But suddenly, it melted away like dissolving powder in water, spreading throughout his body, and then extinguished as if all light had been snuffed out. At first, Kishiar thought his perception had failed and tried to refocus his energy, but Yuder stopped him.
Kishiar's red eyes reflected Yuder's, which still shone with a golden light.
'Is it a failure?'
Just as Kishiar involuntarily held his breath contemplating this, he shook his head.
"Can you hear it? The noises from outside have ceased."
""
"It means those we've trusted to cover our backs have done their part."
Yuder didn't respond, but Kishiar quietly chuckled.
"So, we should do our part as well."
"But I can't see anything. If you are seeing something Don't you understand?"
"Being unable to see could mean that the light is about to go out, but it could also mean that it's about to come on. Initially, your ability to perceive energy within a person came from the power of the red stone, didn't it?"
""
"So, doesn't it make sense to think that your sudden inability to see inside His Majesty might also be caused by the red stone? His Majesty is still breathing. He's merely unconscious, which means he's still alive."
And if he's still alive, anything is possible.
The wheels in Yuder's tired and anxious mind stopped churning at these words. Finally, Yuder exhaled peacefully in front of the man wiping blood off his cheek.
And then, at that very moment
"Your Majesty!"
With the Empress's cry, the Emperor's fingertips twitched. As he groaned and took a deep breath, a light began to rise from within his relaxed body.
Yuder couldn't take his eyes off the light. The reconstructed flow of light he saw now was entirely different from before.
"What is this?"
Beneath the Emperor's abdomen, a clump of red light appeared that wasn't there before. It was the red energy Kishiar had been holding onto. The ongoing red energy from within the body began to seep into that clump, and a faint light emanated from all over him.
Yuder realized he was witnessing the moment of someone undergoing an awakening.