"Well, at least go put on some deodorant, so you won't smell so bad."

"I don't got no deodorant."

"Nothing? No after-shave lotion or anything?"

"Yeah, I got a bottle of that. It's been on the top shelf since my Dad died."

"Well, go splash a little of that on your face and underarms, so you will smell a little better."

"Okay. I'll be right back."

"No hurry."

As soon as he disappeared in the carport door, she popped the trunk, got out and grabbed the garbage bag, and flung it into the well. She closed the trunk, and got back into the car. It took less than ten seconds. She had time to spare, waiting on Lennie to return. When he got halfway to the car, she could smell the overpowering scent of the after-shave lotion.

"Okay, now I'm ready!"

"How much after-shave did you put on?"

"You said splash it on, so I did."

"I didn't mean to bathe in it! Good Lord! I can barely breath!"

"I'm sorry, Miranda! I can't do nothin' right! Want me to go wash it off?"

"No, you're fine. We'll just drive to town with the convertible top down, and maybe the smell will dissipate as we go."

"Okay!" He got in and smiled at her. "I do smell better though, don't I?"

"Oh yeah! You smell like a man, Lennie!"

Lennie beamed with delight as they pulled out of the driveway. They let the wind blow through their hair as they drove to town. Lennie was talking all the way, but Miranda couldn't make out half of what he was saying, because of the wind. She just smiled and nodded.

At Huddle House, most of the early risers had gone on to work, the construction workers, and the salesmen, leaving just a few retired folks scattered about sipping their coffee. "Let's get that booth back in the corner, Lennie."

"Okay."

She ordered something light, to maintain her impressive figure, but she encouraged him to order whatever he wanted, which he did. He ordered the 'Belly Buster Breakfast', which included every kind of cholesterol laden food known to Man. While they waited on their order, she laid out his pills for him, explaining what each one was for. Lennie was bubbling over with enthusiasm. Just like a big kid, Miranda thought, as she listened to him babble on and on about things that only a kid would notice.

When the food came, he ate ravenously. As they finished up, he told her that he was ready to go any time she was, but Miranda said there was no hurry. Most of the other customers were gone by this time, and there were several empty tables around them. Miranda felt that the time was right to talk to Lennie, without anyone listening in on their conversation. "Let's just sit here and talk awhile, Lennie."

"Okay."

"I like to just sit and talk with people who I consider to be my friends. You are my friend, aren't you, Lennie?"

"Of course I am! I'm your bestist friend!"

"What makes you my bestist friend, Lennie?"

"Well, because you help me out, by taking me to the doctor, and you explain to me how I'm supposed to take my medicine, so I can get well. An' ain't n.o.body ever took me out to breakfast before! You must like me or somethin'."

"That's right, Lennie. I do like you. And do you know why?"

"I dunno. Why?"

"Because you are such a nice person. You are more sincere than any friend I have ever had! You are honest, you tell me the truth, and the more I am around you, the more I like you, Lennie."

He blushed visibly, and was at a loss for words.

"I like you, Lennie, because you are so eager to help me out, when I need help. That's why I don't mind helping you out, and taking you out to eat every now and then."

Lennie's eyes began to water, and he burst into tears.

"What's wrong? What did I say?"

He shook his head. "Nuthin'! Ain't nuthin' wrong! I just ain't never had somebody ever say such nice things about me! (*sob*) Usually I hear people talkin' about me when they don't know I can hear. They talk about how stupid I am, and how dumb I look! And I ain't stupid or dumb, I just ain't as 'smooth' as some folks are! You're the first person to say anything nice about me!"

"So stop crying! You're starting to embarra.s.s me!"

He swallowed hard, and wiped his eyes, and tried to stop.

"Okay, that's better. You shouldn't cry because of something good, Lennie. You should smile and be happy."

"I know. I'll try. I just don't want you to be disappointed when I do something stupid. That's what usually makes people mad at me, when I do stupid things."

"Lennie, everybody does stupid things sometimes. Even really, really smart people sometimes do stupid things."

"Really?"

"They sure do! I'm not a real smart person myself, but I do stupid things sometimes."

"You mean like cut up the Judge into little pieces, and bury him under your pool?"

Miranda couldn't have been more visibly shocked, if she had touched her tongue to a 9 volt battery. How did he know about that? She tried to contain her surprise, but it was all too obvious. She didn't know what to say. She looked around to make sure the waitress didn't hear that, but fortunately she was on the other side of the room, flirting with a trucker. Yes, out of the mouths of babes, come the most simple forms of truth!

"Miranda? Did I say something wrong?"

"No. No, Lennie, you were just speaking the truth, which is why I said I like you. You speak the truth, no matter what it is! But out in public like this, you should be very careful that someone else doesn't over-hear what we are talking about! This business with the Judge is all top secret, personal stuff, and we don't want anyone else to hear us talking about it. Do you understand?"

"Okay, so it's our little secret, huh?"

"That's right! It's our little secret, so we don't want anybody else to know about it. If a waitress, or a customer comes close to us, we stop talking until they are gone. Do you understand?"

"Uh-huh. It's our little secret!"

"That's part of being a friend to someone, you help them keep their secrets. So if you want to be my friend, then you need to be very careful about helping me keep my secret things a secret, okay?"

"Sure, Miranda, I can do that!"

"So tell me, Lennie, what makes you think I buried pieces of the Judge under my pool?"

"I saw you. I was watchin' your house, because . . ."

"Wait a minute! Lennie, I told you one time before, that I don't like you sneaking around my house, spying on me!"

"I wasn't spying on you, Miranda! Honest, I wasn't!"

"Then explain why you were watching my house!"

"'Cause I didn't trust those guys you had out there putting in your pool. They were bad men. Some of them said nasty things about you when you weren't around."

"Like what?"

"Like, I heard them talking, an' they was wondering what you looked like naked, and they said all kinds of things they would like to do with you, if . . ."

"That's okay, Lennie. I get the picture. Yes, those were certainly vulgar men, and I shouldn't have hired them, but they did a good job with the pool, and they are gone now. So you were watching my house, because you didn't trust those men?"

"Uh-huh."

"That is so sweet of you, Lennie! Even though I don't like you spying on me, I'm glad you were looking out for my safety. That makes me feel special. But you think burying pieces of the Judge under my pool was stupid? Explain why."

"Well, because I could'a done something with him that was better than that."

"Really? What could you have done with him?"

"Lots of things. But I would have done one thing different than you did. I would'a left him where he died, an' called the police!"

The silence was heavy. Even a mental midget like Lennie recognized the right thing to do in that situation. "Okay, I admit it, it was stupid of me not to call the police when the Judge died."

"Uh-huh."

"Well Lennie, hindsight is 20-20. Yes, I agree that I should have called the police. It would have been the best thing, but I didn't."

"So why not?"

Wow. This kid can come up with the hard questions. He should be a prosecutor, Miranda thought. She didn't want to get into the whole issue of the embarra.s.sment of the situation, but there was hardly a way to explain her actions without telling the truth. And Lennie already knew so much, that she might as well tell him the truth, but maybe with a little twisting of the facts, to make her behavior seem not so bad.

"Well, you see, Lennie, the Judge invited me over to his house for a cup of coffee, so that I could get to know my new neighbors. He made it sound like it was he and his wife, who were inviting me over, so I told him I would be there. However, after I got there, I found out that his wife had just left on a three week trip to Europe, and he was at home alone. This made me feel uncomfortable, because how would that look? A married man, and a well respected judge, at that, entertaining a divorced woman in his home while his wife was away! You have to admit that it wouldn't look good if anyone found out, would it, Lennie?"

"No, I reckon not."

"So I told the Judge that I appreciated the invitation for coffee, but I really needed to be going. And do you know what? He wouldn't let me leave!"

"Why not?"

"He said he wanted me to do nasty things with me, just like you were telling me about those pool installers! And I wanted no part of that, and was about to leave, when he hit me, and the next thing I knew, I was running through the house with him chasing me! He wasn't very big, so every time he cornered me, I broke loose and ran to another room. Finally I was able to get to the bathroom, and lock the door behind me. Oh, he was mad! He demanded that I come out, but I wasn't going to do it unless he let me leave, and I knew he wasn't going to do that."

"Wow! What did you do?"

"I pleaded for him to let me go, but he just laughed at me! I told him I was going to go to the police, if he didn't release me, but he said, 'Who do you think the police would believe, a divorced woman, or a Federal Judge?' I was terrified!"

"What happened next?"

"I guarded the door. Every time he tried to come in, I fought to keep the door shut. It made him so mad that he went through the house smashing things."

"He was smashing things in his own house?"

"Yes, I have never heard someone get so mad! But after awhile, things got quiet, so I thought he had gone. I unlocked the door and was coming out, and he lunged at me! It was a trick! I was just barely able to get the door locked back again. He ranted and raved for awhile, then he got quiet again, but this time I didn't fall for it. I just stayed in the bathroom to wait him out. I stayed there all night, and all the next day, and then the evening of the next day, I was starting to get hungry. I hadn't heard a thing all day, so I decided to try leaving again."

"Were you scared?"

"You bet I was scared! I was sure he had a knife or a gun, but I had to make a run for it. I opened the door, but didn't hear anything. I looked down the hall, but nothing. As I was tip-toeing out of the house, I pa.s.sed the living room, and that was when I saw the Judge lying in the floor. He was dead!"

"What happened to him?"

"He had a heart attack, I guess. He was still gripping at his chest, even though he had been dead since probably the evening before. I dis-armed the security system, and left."

"You must'a really been scared, Miranda?"

"I was. And I wasn't thinking clearly. I didn't want to call the police, because then it wouldn't look good, for me to find his body. Questions might be raised about why I was there to begin with, and I didn't want to get any kind of scandalous rumors started, so I did nothing. But after I got home, I got to thinking about him lying there, rotting in his own house. He said it would be three weeks before his wife got home. Three weeks! He would really be ripe after three weeks in this heat, so I felt like I had to do something."

"So you decided to cut him up?"

"No, that wasn't till later. I'll explain that. No, I thought about buying a big freezer, and putting him in it, and leaving him frozen until just before his wife was due to come home, then take him out of the freezer, and put him back in his house. When she came home, she would find him dead, but not rotted all over the floor! Do you think that sounded like a good idea?"

"Nah! I would'a called the police!"

"Well, you are not a woman, Lennie! Women are a little more sensitive about rumors and gossip than men are! I didn't want to be involved in any kind of apparently scandalous situation, so I bought the freezer, and lugged him over to my house to refrigerate him. But then I had a problem. I had to bend his knees to get him into the freezer, which was difficult, but I got him in there.

"But then the pool guys showed up to put in my pool, and I went out on the back porch top watch them, and realized that the freezer lid was open, and the Judge's head was sticking out! I was afraid that the pool guys might see him, so I covered him until they left that night. Then I went to Lowe's and bought an electric chainsaw."

"Wow, you cut him up with a chainsaw?"

"Yes, that's right."

"Just like in that scary movie!"

"I don't know about that, but after I cut his head off, I suddenly realized that 'now I can't just put him back in his living room floor, because I cut off his head! That might send up a red flag to the police! I don't know what I was thinking! I suppose I wasn't thinking! But anyway, after cutting off his head, I figured I might as well cut up the whole body, to make it easier to move, because now I was going to have to dispose of the whole body somewhere. Here comes the waitress, Lennie. Remember, not a word!"

"Can I get you two anything else? More coffee?"

"Yes, more coffee please."

"And you, sir?"

Lennie sat in deliberate silence.

"Sir?"