Chapter 47: Review Ends

Chapter 47 – Review Ends

[First!]

[Viewer 23.]

[Selling peanuts, sunflower seeds, and douhua in the front row.]

[Grandpa! The UP you’re paying attention to has a new update!]

[Leaving my mark here before this video becomes popular.]

[Like first, watch later.]

[I’m eager to see what kind of insane product the UP is going to reveal this time.]

…

After around a dozen comments flowed by, light appeared in the black screen, and Chen Yu’s masked face appeared on the screen.

“Greetings, fellow friends and viewers!”

In the video, Chen Yu was holding a small, rectangular box. Waving at the camera, he continued, “Welcome to Transdimensional Review’s third episode! I am very grateful for all the support everyone has given me! The product I have brought to you all this time is…

“The Golden Finger!”

Tapping his index finger on the box, Chen Yu said, “This is a very special product with diverse functions. It is produced by the Handicraft Company in the year 2035—in other words, 15 years from now. Everyone watching this video will have the fortune of purchasing this product within your lifetime. Alright, I’ll dispense with the nonsense. Let’s begin today’s review!”

“Good! If I fail to buy it 15 years later, I’ll sue you for false advertising.]

[The Golden Finger? Is it used inside toilets? ( ͡°͜ʖ͡°)]

[Unboxing! Unboxing complete! Proceed to the review introduction!]

“First, let’s start with the unboxing.” Pulling off the box’s lid, Chen Yu retrieved the golden finger cot inside the box and said, “Unboxing complete! Now, let’s proceed to the next topic—review introduction.”

Holding the finger cot, Chen Yu did a 360-degree display of it to the camera. He then continued, “Everyone should be able to clearly see the external appearance of this product. I can only use one word to describe this thing—exquisite! It is truly exquisite. From the outside, you can’t see any joints. It looks as if it is one organic whole! Moreover, it is also unknown as to what material this Golden Finger is made of. It is soft yet hard, hard yet elastic. It feels extremely good to the touch.”

[WTF?]

[What a terrible description…]

[Just call a spade a spade. Regardless, this finger cot indeed looks very beautiful.]

[So, just what is this Golden Finger used for?]

After displaying the “Golden Middle Finger” to the camera, Chen Yu wore it on his right middle finger. Adjusting his mask slightly, he said, “I believe everyone should have already noticed that each side of the finger cot has three buttons wrapped in special material. The buttons on the left represent power, while the right buttons represent speed! Each mode has three gears, the performance of the Golden Finger increasing with each subsequent gear.

“Next up, I will be reviewing the Golden Middle Finger’s first function! The flick of friendship!”

After saying so, Chen Yu bent down and retrieved a wooden block from beneath the table. He then waved the wooden block at the camera and said, “It is a normal interaction for close friends to flick each other in the forehead. Forehead flicking can increase the sense of closeness between friends, and it also helps alleviate the dullness of gatherings. Hence, the Golden Middle Finger’s first main function is to flick foreheads. Fifteen years in the future, this Golden Finger is an indispensable tool for card games, truth or dare, and many other activities.”

While speaking, Chen Yu pressed down on the first left button. After feeling a numbing sensation in his middle finger, he aimed at the wooden block and sent a powerful flick at it.

Bang!

Crack!

The wooden block instantly fractured, and half of it flew out of camera range…

[???]

[?????]

[??]

“Good. Let’s test the Golden Finger on this next.”

After tossing away the remaining half of the wooden block he held, Chen Yu took out a thick and sturdy fire brick from under the table. He then pressed the “Power 2” button and sent a flick at the brick.

Boom!

The Golden Finger moved at a speed imperceptible to the naked eye. There was only a loud sound before the brick broke into two.

[?????]

[Crap…]

[???]

“Lastly, let’s try the finger on this.”

After tossing away the remaining half of the brick, Chen Yu reached under the table once more and grabbed a steel rod as thick as a child’s wrist. He then pressed the “Power 3” button.

Bzz…

The instant Chen Yu pressed the button, the audible sound of electric current flowing came from the Golden Finger.

“Wow! I can feel my middle finger brimming with strength!”

As soon as Chen Yu said so, he flicked at the steel rod ruthlessly!

Ding!

The instant the loud metallic clang sounded, the massive force from the impact made Chen Yu lose his grip on the steel rod. The steel rod flew straight out of his hand and smashed into the review table, creating a deep scar.

“

Hiss…

”

Chen Yu hurriedly retracted his left hand in pain and relaxed only after seeing that his palm was fine. He then bent down to pick up the steel rod that had bounced off to the floor and showed the rod to the camera.

Unlike before, the thick steel rod was now bent.

“As I had released my grip partway, the Golden Finger was not able to display its full strength. Otherwise, this steel rod would’ve snapped directly in half.”

Clang.

Tossing away the steel rod, Chen Yu pointed the Golden Finger at the camera and asked, “Well? Is everyone satisfied with the function of this product? It is truly a godlike tool for head-flicking!”

[Godlike