"Because--and yet I ought not say The wherefore of my sudden whim."

Here Archibald looked at Eusta- Cia, and Eustacia looked at him.

"Because," continued she, "my head--"

I never knew Eustacia's fate, I never knew what 'Stacia said.

_(Continued on page 58.)_

Popular Ballad: "Never Forget Your Parents"

A young man once was sitting Within a swell cafe, The music it was playing sweet-- The people was quite gay.

But he alone was silent, A tear was in his eye-- A waitress she stepped up to him, and Asked him gently why.

(Change to Minor.)

He turned to her in sorrow and At first he spoke no word, But soon he spoke unto her, for She was an honest girl.

He rose up from the table In that elegant cafe, And in a voice replete with tears To her he then did say:

CHORUS

Never forget your father, Think all he done for you; A mother is a boy's best friend, So loving, kind, and true,

If it were not for them, I'm sure I might be quite forlorn; And if your parents had not have lived You would not have been born.

A hush fell on the laughing throng, It made them feel quite bad, For most of them was people, and Some parents they had had.

Both men and ladies did shed tears.

The music it did cease.

For all knew he had spoke the truth By looking at his face.

(Change to Minor.)

The waitress she wept bitterly And others was in tears It made them think of the old home They had not saw in years.

And while their hearts was heavy and Their eyes they was quite red.

This brave and honest boy again To them these words he said:

CHORUS

Never forget, etc.

Ballade to a Lady (To Annabelle.)

Pipe to the tip I'm handing, Kid; Get jerry to the salve I throw; Just paste it in your merrywid While I pull out the tremolo.

This stuff ain't any paper snow-- I never was a bull con gee-- Wise up to this and sing it slow: You make an awful splash with me.

My line of bunk is like to skid; (The subject is so smooth--get joe?) My fountain pen's an invalid; I can't dope words like L. Defoe Puts in describing up a show, But, kiddo, you have put the bee On father, surest thing you know.

You make an awful splash with me.

Yop, I'm your little katydid; Just listen to my chirp of woe; And now I've made my little bid-- You get it? Follow me? Right-O!

If I could shoot like Eddie Poe, I guess that you'd be h-e-p, But here's the bet, now cop it, bo, You make an awful splash with me.

L'ENVOI

Well, this is where the stuff I stow, According to old Francois V; But--once again before I blow-- You make an awful splash with me.

To a Thesaurus

O precious codex, volume, tome, Book, writing, compilation, work Attend the while I pen a pome, A jest, a j.a.pe, a quip, a quirk.

For I would pen, engross, indite, Transcribe, set forth, compose, address, Record, submit--yea, even write An ode, an elegy to bless--

To bless, set store by, celebrate, Approve, esteem, endow with soul, Commend, acclaim, appreciate, Immortalize, laud, praise, extol.

Thy merit, goodness, value, worth, Expedience, utility-- O manna, honey, salt of earth, I sing, I chant, I worship thee!

How could I manage, live, exist, Obtain, produce, be real, prevail, Be present in the flesh, subsist, Have place, become, breathe or inhale.

Without thy help, recruit, support, Opitulation, furtherance, a.s.sistance, rescue, aid, resort, Favour, sustention and advance?

Ala Alack! and well-a-day!

My case would then be dour and sad, Likewise distressing, dismal, gray, Pathetic, mournful, dreary, bad.

Though I could keep this up all day, This lyric, elegiac, song, Meseems hath come the time to say Farewell! Adieu! Good-by! So long!

The Ancient Lays

I cannot sing the old songs I sang long years ago, But I can always hear them At any vodevil show.

Erring in Company

("If I have erred I err in company with Abraham Lincoln."--THEODORE ROOSEVELT.)

If e'er my rhyming be at fault, If e'er I chance to scribble dope, If that my metre ever halt, I err in company with Pope.

An that my grammar go awry, An that my English be askew, Sooth, I can prove an alibi-- The Bard of Avon did it, too.