A toy one, I reckon.

No, a real one. Hes gonna make me some invisible ink, and Im gonna write to Dill in it.

Francis asked what was the use of that.

Well, cant you just see his face when he gets a letter from me with nothing in it? Itll drive him nuts.

Talking to Francis gave me the sensation of settling slowly to the bottom of the ocean. He was the most boring child I ever met. As he lived in Mobile, he could not inform on me to school authorities, but he managed to tell everything he knew to Aunt Alexandra, who in turn unburdened herself to Atticus, who either forgot it or gave me hell, whichever struck his fancy. But the only time I ever heard Atticus speak sharply to anyone was when I once heard him say, Sister, I do the best I can with them! It had something to do with my going around in overalls.

Aunt Alexandra was fanatical on the subject of my attire. I could not possibly hope to be a lady if I wore breeches; when I said I could do nothing in a dress, she said I wasnt supposed to be doing things that required pants. Aunt Alexandras vision of my deportment involved playing with small stoves, tea sets, and wearing the Add-A-Pearl necklace she gave me when I was born; furthermore, I should be a ray of sunshine in my fathers lonely life. I suggested that one could be a ray of sunshine in pants just as well, but Aunty said that one had to behave like a sunbeam, that I was born good but had grown progressively worse every year. She hurt my feelings and set my teeth permanently on edge, but when I asked Atticus about it, he said there were already enough sunbeams in the family and to go on about my business, he didnt mind me much the way I was.

At Christmas dinner, I sat at the little table in the diningroom; Jem and Francis sat with the adults at the dining table. Aunty had continued to isolate me long after Jem and Francis graduated to the big table. I often wondered what she thought Id do, get up and throw something? I sometimes thought of asking her if she would let me sit at the big table with the rest of them just once, I would prove to her how civilized I could be; after all, I ate at home every day with no major mishaps. When I begged Atticus to use his influence, he said he had nonewe were guests, and we sat where she told us to sit. He also said Aunt Alexandra didnt understand girls much, shed never had one.

But her cooking made up for everything: three kinds of meat, summer vegetables from her pantry shelves; peach pickles, two kinds of cake and ambrosia constituted a modest Christmas dinner. Afterwards, the adults made for the livingroom and sat around in a dazed condition. Jem lay on the floor, and I went to the back yard. Put on your coat, said Atticus dreamily, so I didnt hear him.

Francis sat beside me on the back steps. That was the best yet, I said.

Grandmas a wonderful cook, said Francis. Shes gonna teach me how.

Boys dont cook. I giggled at the thought of Jem in an apron.

Grandma says all men should learn to cook, that men oughta be careful with their wives and wait on em when they dont feel good, said my cousin.

I dont want Dill waitin on me, I said. Id rather wait on him.

Dill?

Yeah. Dont say anything about it yet, but were gonna get married as soon as were big enough. He asked me last summer.

Francis hooted.

Whats the matter with him? I asked. Aint anything the matter with him.

You mean that little runt Grandma says stays with Miss Rachel every summer?

Thats exactly who I mean.

I know all about him, said Francis.

What about him?

Grandma says he hasnt got a home

Has too, he lives in Meridian.

he just gets passed around from relative to relative, and Miss Rachel keeps him every summer.

Francis, thats not so!

Francis grinned at me. Youre mighty dumb sometimes, Jean Louise. Guess you dont know any better, though.

What do you mean?

If Uncle Atticus lets you run around with stray dogs, thats his business, like Grandma says, so it aint your fault. I guess it aint your fault if Uncle Atticus is a nigger-lover besides, but Im here to tell you it certainly does mortify the rest of the family

Francis, what the hell do you mean?

Just what I said. Grandma says its bad enough he lets you all run wild, but now hes turned out a nigger-lover well never be able to walk the streets of Maycomb again. Hes ruinin the family, thats what hes doin.