I’ve mentioned before that Timu doesn’t use a normal 1st person p.r.o.noun. She instead uses ‘ware’, which is basically only used in modern day for rather heavy, formal speeches. As for in fiction, you might get particularly old and distinguished generals using it, and sometimes kings (if they aren’t using ‘watas.h.i.+’ or ‘yo’). Hard to describe the feel. Sometimes slightly older court wizards. Just, distinguished people, I guess. And non-young if they’re not using it for speeches or special occasions.

“Oneesama, I have returned.”

I heard the sound of the door opening, along with Timu’s voice. It seems that she’s back. Normally I’d receive her with a smile, but things are different today.

“Mum, Dad, leave Timu to me. I’ll definitely make her reflect.”

“Tilea, stop. How many times do I have to say it before you understand? That girl isn’t Timu. You’ll be killed!”

“Cut it out already, Sera! It’s true that Timu is suddenly speaking in a strange way, but from what I can see, the two of them are getting along just fine.”

“Dad’s right, Mum. There’s no way anything like that will happen between Timu and I.”

“And Tilea. I think you’re the bigger problem for making Timu call you “Oneesama”. You’re not picking on your sister, right?”

“No, no, I’m not making her, you know. Timu said she wanted to call me that no matter what, so.”

“Really? But you don’t look so unhappy about it, you know.”

Uu. Daddy, you’re pretty sharp!

That’s right. I’m not making her call me that, but I’m not stopping her either.

I-, Isn’t it fine? I just wanted to taste the world of “Marimiteh” a little.

“First I’ll make sure to give Timu a good scolding as her older sister. Dad, wait here with Mum a little, okay?”

“Ah-!? Tilea, wait!”

“Sera, we’re waiting here.”

“Dear, let go of me. I have to stop her… Are you okay with Tilea being killed!”

“Won’t you cut that out already!”

“Aahh. Why won’t you understand!”

“Tilea, Sera’s tired and isn’t seeing reality. Make sure to have a good talk with Timu.”

“Mn, I’ll leave Mum to you, okay?”

“Yeah, leave it to me.”

“IT’S YOU TWO THAT AREN’T SEEING REALITYYYYYYY!”

Mum kept shrieking things like “Timu is a demon” or “Tilea’s going to be killed”. Looks like I need to hurry up and reconcile them. I headed to Timu’s room in order to bring back their feelings for each other.

“Timu!”

“Ah, Oneesama. The truth is I’m in the middle of reorganising the Household Guard, and we would be delighted if you could come for an inspection, Onee-sama.”

“If the Household Guard are able to gaze upon your countenance, I am sure the morale will increase spectacularly.”

The reorganisation of the Household Guard…

So you guys have been playing Demon King Army again, huh. By this inspection thing, are they inviting me to play with them this time? Normally I’d be fine with that, but…

“I’m not going. Timu, for now you’re forbidden to go outside.”

“W-, What do you mean, Oneesama?”

“Timu, sit down over there.”

“U-, Understood.”

Timu sat down with a meek expression, and I moved to face her. We were now sitting on other side of the table. I glared at her.

“Oneesama…?”

Timu seemed to have sensed my bad mood. She looked at me anxiously. Uu, if you look at me with such a sad face, it’ll be hard for me to lecture you too, you know.

But I have to. If I spoil her again, it’ll just be a repeat of last time.

“Timu, do you have anything to say to me?”

“Let me see. Because of your training methods, I have powered up spectacularly. Although I am incompetent, please allow me the privilege of a.s.sisting in your domination.”

“No, that’s not what I mean… Timu, do you remember when I spanked you last time?”

“Yes. It brings me utmost shame. I am painfully aware of my foolishness and weakness at that time.”

“You’ve reflected, right? You swore to me that you wouldn’t do something like that again, right?”

“Yes, I will not commit the same blunder again.”

Timu…

So you’re going to play dumb to the end, huh. Even if you aren’t violent to me anymore, if you’re violent to Mum, it’s the same thing, you know. Or could it be that you were just thinking it’d be fine as long as I didn’t find out!

Timu, to think that you’ve become such a coward… Oneechan is sad.

Aah~ This is like that “my child is different” pattern, isn’t it. A parent trusts their child too much, and doesn’t even realise when their child turns into a delinquent. It’s a dangerous sign.

“Then, do you remember what you said to Mum over these last few days?”

“That human? As I recall, I warned her to know her place but… Hah-!? Could it be that she was rude to you in some way? And that’s why you’re angry, isn’t it, Oneesama? Honestly, she was my parent, even if temporary, so I went easy on her. I shall immediately dispose――”

“You don’t understand at all! I’m angry because of YOU!”

“Hii-, my deepest apologies. W-, Was I dis, respecful to you, in some way…? What did I…? I――”

“NOT “I”!!!”

“Hi-, hii-, I-, a-, aah-”

Timu was apparently confused because she was completely fl.u.s.tered. Her eyes were filled with tears, and her mouth kept opening and shutting wordlessly.

“Do you really not know?”

“Hii-, u-, umm, was it that I did not immediately… dispose, of her?”

“TIMUUUU! Don’t disappointment me so much.”

“Hii-, hic-, eh-, u-, umm, ah-…”

Timu finally began to cry and shake. Seeing my little sister tremble like this suddenly made me feel crazily guilty.

“Tilea-sama, although I am aware this is rude of me, I have something to say!”

Pervert(Nielsen) took a step forward in front of me.

“…What?”

“Milady. Although I do not know what is wrong, please tell Camilla-sama the problem concretely, or she will be confused.”

“It is fine, Nielsen. I am in the wrong for failing to live up to Oneesama’s expectations.”

“H-. However, this is too much. From what I can see, you have served Tilea-sama without a single mistake.”

“Outsiders should stay out of it. This is a family matter!”

“U-, Understood. Please forgive me for speaking out of place. However, as a loyal servant, please allow me to say this; please find it in yourself to believe Camilla-sama.”

Pervert(Nielsen) desperately covered for Timu. He looked liked a selfless knight. But beneath that, he’s actually somebody who trampled on my kind Mum’s heart. Seeing him act like a loyal servant now just p.i.s.ses me off more. I feel bad for Timu, but you aren’t getting any mercy.

“You know, why are you speaking like this isn’t your concern? You’re guilty of the same thing!”

“D-, Did I blunder in some way?”

“IT ISN’T AT THE LEVEL OF ‘BLUNDER’! You completely betrayed my expectations. SLEEP ON THE FLOOR FOR A WHILEEEEE!”

I stood up from my chair and kicked Pervert(Nielsen) flying. Pervert(Nielsen) vigorously tumbled across the floor. And then, with Pervert(Nielsen) still lying down, I began to grind his head into the floor with my foot.

“GUOOOOOOH! T-, Tilea-sama. W-, Why is it that you are so angry?”

“Hahh? How about you use your f.u.c.king head. Is that head of yours just for decoration, you pervert b.a.s.t.a.r.d!”

“Ah-, ah-, Oneesama. Please stop this. Nielsen is dying.”

“Timu, I’m trying to kill him, so of course he is.”

“O-, Oneesama. Nielsen is a talent indispensable for your path of domination. Please find it in yourself to forgive him. I shall bear his sin instead.”

As usual, the trust between them is no joke. I really just want to keep crus.h.i.+ng him like this until he dies, but I can’t let Timu feel sad either.

Pervert(Nielsen), looks like you’ve barely escaped death. If it wasn’t for Timu’s words, I’d have seriously, done it, yanno. I slowly removed my foot from his head.

“Hahh, hahh, hahh. T-, Tilea-sama, if you desire my life, please take it by all means. However, could you at least dispel your anger towards Camilla-sama? I humbly implore you.”

Pervert(Nielsen) rubbed his forehead against the floor as he entreated me. He entreated me for Timu’s sake while enduring the pain from when I kicked him flying. When I see him acting this meek, it makes me want to tell him to act that way around Mum as well.

“Nielsen, stop that. Look at Oneesama’s countenance. She truly looks disappointed that I betrayed her expectations. I disappointed Oneesama. After committing such a failure, how would you have me live. I shall end myself right here!”

“C-, Camilla-sama, I beg of you to reconsider…”

“Enough. I have decided to sacrifice myself to Oneesama.”

“Camilla-sama…”

“Oneesama, for your sake I would happily offer you my life. I am truly joyful that you have given me such undeserved affection thus far.”

“…Understood. I shall not allow you to depart this world by yourself, Camilla-sama. Having come to this, all members of the Household Guard shall follow you into the afterlife.”

“W-, What are you saying! I shall now allow that. If all the Household Guard dies, who shall support Oneesama in her domination.”

“H-, However…”

“It is fine. I shall watch over Oneesama’s exploits from Valhalla.”

And like that, a chain of “You can’t”s, “I must”s and “However”s continued to repeat between them.

…What the heck is this farce?

I’m actually angry, you know.

But despite that, the two of them are playing Master-Servant even at a time like this. Being forced to watch this stupid drama has made me want to scold them even more, but perhaps I was being overwhelmed by how serious their performances were because I couldn’t find a chance to b.u.t.t in.

Or rather, you’re not actually going to die, right?

…Once somebody is too chuunibyou, you can’t even laugh at this. She might really go with the flow and die after all.

“Aah~ Sorry to interrupt while you guys are getting so into it, but…”

“Oneesama, I have persuaded Nielsen. I believe he will continue to serve you faithfully, Oneesama. With this, I can die at ease.”

“DAHHHHHHHH! Seriously just stop that already. When exactly did I say I wanted your life! Even as a joke you shouldn’t say something like that, so cut it out now!”

“I-, It was not a joke and――”

“Timu, from now on you aren’t to speak about dying again. I won’t allow anybody to kill my cute sister no matter what. Even if it’s you, Timu.”

“O-, Oneesama. Uuu, to think that you care about me so… I-, I truly did not know what I did wrong. Uu-, uu-, please forgive this deplorable me.”

Hahh~ Come on, make that face like the world is ending. Seeing Timu break into tears made my chest tighten in sadness.

I can’t do it anymore!

There’s no way I can spank her when she’s making a face like this. I’m saying this myself, but I know I’m spoiling her.

“Come on, don’t cry anymore.”

I began wiping her sobbing face with a handkerchief, taking care to be gentle enough that her eyes wouldn’t swell.

“Uu, Oneesama.”

“Timu, stop treating Mum with that kind of stupid att.i.tude. No, not just Mum, but all the people around you too.”

“W-, What do you mean by that?”

“Huu~ Do I have to explain every little thing for you to get it?”

“N-, No. I understand. It is fine. Oneesama, I shall show you that I understand. So please, please don’t abandon me.”

“Timu, there’s no way that I’d abandon you, right? I’m not angry anymore. Anyway, make sure you think deeply about what I said today, and tell me your response later, okay?”

“Y-, Yes. I shall not disappoint you again, Oneesama.”

“I see. I’ll be expecting the best from you.”

Embracing her, I gently stroked her head. The stiff expression disappeared from Timu’s face and she looked relieved.

“Sorry. I scared you, didn’t I.”

“O-, Oneesama, hic-, I’ll do it. I’ll definitely live up to your expectations.”

Good, good. I wrapped my arms around her even more tightly. So that Timu would calm down, I gently continued to hug her.

After that, I looked at the grovelling Pervert(Nielsen) like he was a dung beetle. If I had my way, I’d have immediately executed him.

“And that goes for the one on the floor as well. Think carefully about the meaning behind my words!”

“Understood. I shall also exert myself to meet your expectations, Tilea-sama.”

I certainly hope you do. Because I won’t be gentle to you like I am to Timu. The next time you do something this stupid again…

Huu~ After having raised him this much, I don’t want to see my employee die either.

“I-, Isn’t it fine? I just wanted to taste the world of “Marimiteh” a little.”

A reference to Marimite or Maria-sama ga Miteiru, which is uhm, as far as I know, a yuri series based in a rich girls’ school, which facilitates girls calling each other Oneesama.

“After that, I looked at the grovelling Pervert(Nielsen) like he was a dung beetle.”

Strictly speaking, it’s a type of j.a.panese ground beetle, but in j.a.panese it’s literally ‘garbage bug’, so I just went with dung beetle. 

It should really be Sarah, but in this world filled with so many weird made-up names, it felt a little odd to have such a super average name in there. And well, Sera is basically the same name anyway, so no worries I guess.