The man in the lead wore bright-pink leopard short-shorts, cowboy boots, and a tank top that was cut off at the midriff. Over all that he wore a see-through lacy trench coat. And he clutched a giant lollipop between his teeth.

The guy in the blue vest stalked him like a hunter after prey, with his camera phone as his weapon of choice. The scene was strange, but not surreal, as so many of my waking hours had been lately.

"That is not for real," Tad breathed.

The man in the blue vest with the great profile spun and laughed. He held up a cell phone. "The Real People of Blue Box is an actual thing, my friend. I doc.u.ment whenever I can. I have millions of hits and thousands of followers. Makes me feel alive again!" He grinned and a lightbulb burst over our heads, shattering into a million sparkling little pieces.

I hunched, Tad yelped, and Yaya stepped sideways to avoid the falling bits.

The man in blue grinned and flexed his arms. "Sorry about that. Happens more often than I like even after all these years."

I stared at his blue vest, reading the tags on it. Best in customer service. Store Manager. Zeus. "Sweet baby Jesus," I whispered.

Zeus looked at me, his gaze flicking up and down my body several times as if seeing me for the first time. "Well, well. What have we here?"

Yaya stepped between us. "That's why we're here, Zeus. We need to know what's going on. You have information and we need it. After all these years and all the times I stood up for you, we deserve your help."

She hardly blocked his view of me, yet he craned his head to look around her. "Flora, why did you bring me a siren?"

I slapped both hands to my chest. "I am not a wh.o.r.e."

He shook his head and one long finger. "No, not wh.o.r.e. Siren. Very different. And I think a rather special kind of siren."

Yaya fluffed up her hair, then tapped her forehead with one finger. "Zeus. Is this really something you want to discuss in the middle of the store?"

He spread his hands wide. "This is my kingdom now. I rule here, I am the overseer of this world."

"Are you serious?" Tad spluttered. "This isn't a world. It's not a kingdom. It's a box store." He looked at me, and I lifted my hands in surrender. What did I know about dealing with someone who thought he was Zeus?

"Don't look at me. The last twenty-four hours feel like some sort of dream to me as it is. Why can't Zeus be ruling a kingdom within the confines of a Blue Box Store? Just another weird twist to an already bizarro situation."

Zeus clapped his hands together, and a distinct rumble of thunder rolled through the store. "Flora, I have everything I need here. Food, drink, clothing, entertainment, and women. Lots of women." He winked at Yaya and reached as if to caress her face.

She swatted his hand down. "You like anything that will take you into their bed. Men. Women. Sheep."

He grunted. "Low blow, my love. I seem to recall you didn't mind my indiscriminating gaze."

Tad and I turned in unison to Yaya, who blushed a furious red under our curious eyes. "I'd like to forget that chapter of my life, thank you very much. I've moved on to much greener pastures."

Zeus chuckled. "Well, at your age, forgetting the past . . . that's entirely possible, isn't it?"

Yaya gasped, and I felt the dig as if it had been aimed at me. I shoved between them and put my finger into his sternum. "Listen here, hamster b.a.l.l.s. You don't talk to her like that. n.o.body talks to my yaya like that. Not even some trumped-up douche who thinks he's a long-dead G.o.d."

He grabbed my hand and rubbed my finger up and down in a far-too-suggestive manner. "Or what, darling? I think you and I could have a fine time together. Feisty, just like Flora with a longer set of legs. Yes, we could have some real fun."

Just like Roger, he thought he could pull the wool over my eyes with his deception. As if he could seduce me, making me blind to how he treated my family and me.

Just like Merlin, who'd lied to me, he thought he could seduce me with words and a future that didn't really exist.

Anger snapped through me, firing my blood like an open flame. I opened my mouth and my fangs dropped down. They hung out under my top lip and brushed along the lower edge of my bottom lip, beads of moisture dripping from them. A long low hiss slid out from deep in my throat as my eyes narrowed. Zeus stumbled back, slipped on a thin patch of oil, and fell onto his b.u.t.t. He was up fast enough that I couldn't be sure he even fell if not for the fact that he brushed the back of his pants off and his hands came away slick.

"Drakaina," he said. "That's what she is, Flora. Whoever turned her did it with the intention that she would die."

My mouth dropped open wider, and with the dissipating anger, my fangs retracted, folding back as nicely as you please. "What?"

I seemed to be saying that a lot. What. Why. Where. I didn't like not knowing.

Zeus snorted and the lights above us flickered. "Drakaina. Serpent. Siren. Shape-s.h.i.+fter. Monster. That is what you are, granddaughter of Flora, long-ago priestess of mine."

"I don't want to be a monster," I whispered, forgetting I'd been angry with him only moments before.

He shrugged. "Not my issue, snake. You're a true monster, that's how it is. Not just any old supernatural, but a monster through and through. As bad as they come. Eating people, destroying cities, ruining lives: that is your calling card now."

His words were too much, the final straw piled onto my shoulders. I spun and bolted back the way we'd come, running for the front entrance. Tad shouted, begging me to stop. I couldn't, though. All I could think was that I wasn't going to be able to fit in at all. That people would know me for what I was as easily as Zeus did.

I choked on a laugh, the edge of it more than a little hysterical.

I was a monster. A snake woman who could seduce people and apparently scared even Zeus.

The lady who'd blocked us as we came in glared at me. "Out of my way, girl. I'm a-shopping, you know."

I didn't slow down but shoulder-checked her as I went by. She flipped right over backward and landed with an explosion of air as she belly flopped on the hard floor.

Mouth flapping wide like a fish out of water, she finally sucked in a breath only to let out a wail. "a.s.sault! She a.s.saulted me and I peed myself!"

A sharp tang of urine flooded the air, giving credence to her claim along with the puddle that slowly spread around her ponderous body.

Zeus, mighty G.o.d of thunder, was the Blue Box Store manager. His voice boomed over the PA system.

"Cleanup in aisle seven."

I slapped a hand over my mouth, but the shriek of laughter escaped me anyway as I spun and ran out of the store. There was only one place I wanted to be, and I couldn't stop myself. Couldn't keep my feet from taking me to the home I'd shared with Roger. The place I'd felt the safest since my earliest memories.

We didn't live that far from the Blue Box, a scarce fifteen-minute drive, down to Galer Street in the Queen Anne neighborhood. But that was driving and I was on foot. I didn't slow, though, as if running would take me away from the craziness my life had become.

The first hill was no problem as adrenaline pushed me up it in record time. The second hill was tougher and the third I walked up, panting and sweating despite the chilly weather.

I reached the top of the third hill and stood there, staring at my house. My grandparents' home. The place I'd thought I'd live until I died. Which in a way, I had. Only I wasn't truly dead. Even if I had a large stamp of Deceased on my birth certificate.

"Don't get melodramatic," I scolded myself. "You don't know what's on your birth certificate now. Could say Monster for all you know." My pep talk didn't help any.

Parked in the driveway of our house was a black sports car with glittering silver paw prints all over it. I made myself walk up to the car and peer in. The interior was filled with fast-food bags, wrappers, and empty pop cans.

"Disgusting," I said, as though my being a monster were any less disgusting than the car filled with garbage.

Why had I come here? Not just because it was my safe place, not if I was being honest with myself. A small part of me wanted to be held, to have someone tell me it would be okay. Roger had always been good at telling me what I wanted to hear.

I stepped away from the car and headed for the front door. The house was old, a hundred years and counting. Three stories, it towered over the other homes in the neighborhood, and yet I'd never felt like it was ostentatious. It needed some love; the s.h.i.+ngle roof needed to be replaced, and the windows needed to be swapped out for double pane. Lots of love, sure, but I'd been willing to give it what it needed. To take the time . . .

The window that looked out over the front yard was our bedroom, and the light was on, and it was only then that my heartbeat slowed enough that I could hear Barry Manilow playing. Loud enough that the words were audible.

That was Roger's lovemaking alb.u.m. The music he'd told me put him in the mood only for my kisses, and never for anyone else.

Something in me snapped. Roger was never going to hold me again. And I didn't want him to. He was a dirty donkey's b.u.t.thole.

I opened the front door and headed straight for the stairs. Taking them two at a time, I pa.s.sed the second level and kept moving on to the third. The bedroom was actually the entire third floor, and while it was smaller than the second floor, it was still a thousand square feet.

One feature I'd never minded before, though, was now a real problem. The top level was an open floor plan, and there was no door on the bedroom. I stood on the steps a few feet below the landing, the music a low, mindless tune I'd always hated. Always. Why hadn't I told Roger I'd hated it?

Because he'd told me how much he'd loved it and I'd wanted him to be happy. I'd always been trying to make him happy. To prove I was worth his love, to prove I was worth being his wife.

I squared my shoulders and took a step. A female giggle rippled through the air, and I made myself keep moving. Kept walking up the final few steps. The view didn't make sense at first, as there was just a humping, b.u.mping black blanket on the bed.

"Roger, you are frisky tonight. Naughty Chihuahua," she-I a.s.sumed Barbie-yipped out at him. As if she were the Chihuahua.

He growled and snapped his teeth. I rolled my eyes, put my hands on my hips, and broke up their party. "I hardly would call him naughty. More like dumb. Or useless. Maybe lazy, that's another good word for Roger."

They spun, the two of them sitting up in bed like pop-up dolls.

"Roger, who is that?" Barbie said. I had to give her credit. Her hair was perfect, and from the shape of her chest under the sheet, her b.o.o.bs weren't half bad either. Power, though, Zeus said I had power.

A siren, was I? Well, let's just see what that got me.

I flipped my hair back over my shoulders and took a step closer. "Roger. Who. Am. I?"

He stared at me, looked me up and down, and in slow increments his mouth dropped. "Alena?"

I smiled, feeling a strange sense of confidence roll through me. Roger swallowed hard and slid to the edge of the bed as if he would come to me. I held a hand up. "You stay there."

"That's your wife? Her pictures don't look like that. And isn't she supposed to be dead? How are we going to have the money if she isn't dead?"

"Excellent question, Barbie." I paced in front of the bed. "I mean, really, he's not all that good in bed, so the money is very important, isn't it? How much did he promise you for your business venture exactly?"

"I am an excellent lover," Roger spluttered. "Caring, considerate-"

"You couldn't find the G-spot in an alphabet." I snapped my fingers, waving a hand in the air. "Seriously, how often do you fake it, Babs? Ten out of ten? I know I did."

Her lips tightened, and I wasn't sure if it was laughter or anger holding them shut. Roger spluttered and spit but couldn't manage a single word.

"Here's the thing." I paused and pointed at Roger, feeling the strength of my words grow with each syllable. "He's not going to have any money when I'm done with him. This is my house. The inheritance is mine. The bakery is mine, and that fat-nosed Colleen isn't going to have a single sugar cube from it. Got that? He's going to have his stinking little brown Fiesta hatchback, a bag of clothes, and if he's lucky"-I approached them-"his little girlfriend." I snapped my fingers at her and she flinched. Roger, though, hadn't taken his eyes from me.

"Alena, I've never seen you like this. If I'd known you'd be like this, I never would have looked for someone else. I didn't know you were going to survive." He crawled across the bed to me and I stepped back.

"Are you for real?" I said at the same time Barbie slapped his b.u.t.t hard enough to make him jump and his drooping man bits wobble and deflate.

"Ouch!"

"I'll do more than 'ouch' you, you a.s.shole. You said you loved me, that you never loved her but married her because she was a good girl and would do what she was told. That you always wanted me more." She pouted at him while not so subtly pus.h.i.+ng her chest out.

But his eyes swept back to me, a bright, hot l.u.s.t raging in them. "Alena, we can work this out. I know we can. Every couple has a b.u.mp in the road, and this is ours. Give me a second chance. Please, baby."

My heart leapt, and for just a second I thought about it. A second. No more than that, because what happened next hit me like a blow to the belly.

My eyes locked with hers, and the smug curl of her lips told me the truth of her and Roger, even though I still had to ask.

"You were with him before I was sick, weren't you?"

She smirked and ran a hand over her chest. "You don't actually think you were satisfying him, do you? Miss Missionary."

I drew in a slow breath, anger kindling along my synapses as I swung my gaze to my husband.

"Roger, not for anything in the world would I go back to you. Not for money, fame, fortune. Nothing. I will never come back to you." I turned, paused, and looked over my shoulder. "You'll be hearing from my lawyer. And Barbie?"

I locked eyes with the blond bombsh.e.l.l one last time. "Good luck on teaching him how to pleasure a woman. You know what they say about teaching stupid dogs new tricks. Impossible."

His mouth dropped open and she glared at me. "Maybe all he needed was someone worth pleasuring. Maybe a little brown church mouse wasn't all that fun to play with."

Oh, she did not go there. I spun on a heel and faced her. "Do I look like a little brown church mouse to you?"

She stood up on the bed, buck naked, and put her hands on her hips. "I think you wouldn't know what fun was if it snuck up and bit you on the a.s.s. Roger is better off with me. As is the money, because I'll at least do something interesting with it."

Gobsmacked was the only word I had to identify the emotions running through me. A small part of me wanted to strangle her.

Okay, a large part.

The rest was just confused, and that part won out this time. "Our whole life together was a lie, wasn't it?"

Roger shook his head, but I saw it in his eyes a split second before he lowered them. The truth. I was just a stepping-stone for him.

I snorted softly. "You two have fun. I'm taking you for everything you've got and then some. Rog."

I turned again and headed down the stairs, making myself not hurry. Forcing my feet to go at a sedate pace. I refused to run from the two of them.

But maybe if I'd hurried, I would have made it out before the bad guys found me.

Okay, I was a.s.suming they were bad guys. But really, good guys don't burst into a house wielding large weapons.

Nor do they normally look like bulls from the waist down.

I swallowed hard. Here we go again.

CHAPTER 9.