When finally, they broke apart Li Yuan held her by her waist and cupped the side of her face so they were looking eye to eye.

An act for the sole purpose of diving in each other's soul when there wasn't even much left to it at that moment.

At that moment it was just their hearts that were beating in rhythm in their chests.

"I come here every year on this day. This day of all year I need the most to escape my reality." He closed his eyes as if reminiscing something that was physically torturous for him.

Opening his eyes, he held an unreadable expression on his face. Lei Xinyi felt her heart about to leap out of her chest.

It was a dangerous territory she was trading in but she had no control over heart and no sense of self when he was looking at her like that.

"Will you...will you come with me every year?"

Her breath hitched and an unexplainable pang rose in her heart.

His words were like a sharp slap of reality on her face. It was like life had rubbed it in her face of how she was getting ecstatic in a life that wasn't hers.

She was nothing but a streetwalker who got lucky. Nothing but an imposter.

How could she come, when she wouldn't even be here in two months?

And most of all. will he want her here when he knew her reality?

He wasn't even saying that to her, he was saying all these things for his fiancé.

He is doing all these things for the woman he is going to marry someday. Not a woman like her, pretty-faced social climber

Lei Xinyi averted eye contact and cleared her throat to clear the lump in her throat. She retreated her touch from him.

Lei Xinyi heaved a heavy sigh, "Li Yuan, I..."

Her rejection was like a wake-up call for Li Yuan and jolted back and his whole demeanor changed.

Li Yuan pulled away from her instant. Lei Xinyi saw a flash of hurt in his face that was gone as it came.

"That's Okay. Forget I ever said that!" Li Yuan a hand through his hair heaving heavy breaths in a fail attempt to calm himself.

His distraught appearance clawed at her heart; Lei Xinyi stepped forward to touch him.

"Li Yuan, listen..."

Li Yuan pushed her away, that Lei Xinyi stumbled back.

"Stop it! Just stop with this pretension! You know what? There is nothing wrong with you, it's me. I am the one f*cked up here."

He held her by her both arms and pushed her against the railing. Lein Xinyi flinched when she felt spiny p.r.i.c.kle stabbed in her back.

She quickly schooled her feature. Her pain was only hers to see.

Even in the face of pain, she looked defiantly in Li Yaun eyes, whose eyes were blazing.

He hissed, "I am f*cked up to the point that I am getting cozy on dates with a woman whose even existence is foggy!"

His every word stabbed right in her heart. His every word was brutal, more so because he didn't even realize how true his words were.

He was just a dream, this life was just a dream, a sweet dream.

With all the pain that was piercing her heart apart, she smiled like a Queen she was, she smiled hiding all the heartbreak behind her smile.

"That's what I thought, you really are f*cked up."

Saying her piece she didn't wait for his reply, she pushed him away and walked back to the car.

He was right but that hurt and you can't tell your heart right or wrong.

All she knew was, she was in deep sh*t that she could never own.

A woman like her could have a man like Li Yuan but could never keep him.

Walking away Lei Xinyi allowed the stream of tears that blurred her vision.

She hardly ever cried but today she had allowed too many privileges to herself, tears could be taken as another luxury.

She walked with rapid steps though she knew he wasn't following her.

She felt like ridiculing herself, she was crying for a man. A man who would cast her without another thought when he knew who she was.

"New lows for me." Lei Xinyi sneered.

They weren't kids playing in the playgrounds who fought then later made up. They were adults and when they fought, they broke up.

Lei Xinyi sat in the car thinking thoroughly she had made a mess out of her life willingly.

She didn't want to want this, any of this. The pain was heartbreaking than any physical pain she had ever felt.

Her lip wobbled and she allowed the sob to leave her lips that had her whole-body quivering.

With all the anguish she felt, she came to a decision. A better decision than all the sh*tty decisions that landed her here.