“Thats why, Young Master doesn't have enough reason to be the next successor of Count Epheria household.”

Sofia explained it while putting down a bowl of soup, that has been mildly cooked so its easy to digest, onto the table. I pick up my spoon while looking at her.

“In other words, my little stepbrother isn't really related to the Count Epheria household.”

“Yes. At the moment, Miss Silla is the only legitimate descendant of Count Epheria household.”

Count Dgowin Epheria, Silla's father, actually is a walk in son-in-law in Epheria family. In other words, children born from his marriage with other woman aren't part of Epheria household. The only descendant of Epheria family is Silla who was born from the only daughter of Count Epheria in previous generation. Both of Silla's little brothers have no rights to be the next head of Epheria household.

“Thats being said, Miss' future husband will be the next Count Epheria.”

“But, my stepmother won't let it happens, right?”

“Yes, thats right!”

Sofia hold her tray tightly without being able to conceal her bursting emotions.

“That woman…cough… I mean, the new Madam intends to make Young Master as the next Count because ‘Miss is a woman' , as the reason. It is definitely doesn't make any sense at all, but the main problem is the Count only watch as spectator and the new Madam's family are very powerful n.o.bles.”

“Is that so? Its quite odd for a daughter of powerful n.o.bles doesn't mind being a second wife.”

“Of course its because she wants to take over Epheria family. Even now, she is still working hard to reach her goal. The reason why she urged Miss to get engaged to that sc.u.m is also because of that (her goal).”

“Mhmm.”

I drink the soup while trying to make a conclusion based on Sofia's story. To put it simply, Countess wants to get rid of Silla, who is no other than me, by any means. Having me married is the safest method but she might be using other extreme methods if it (marriage) doesn't work, right? This is interesting.

“The explanation is enough for now. You said before that the leader of Holy Knight's funeral will be held in 4 days?”

“Yes… the church annouced that the funeral will be held in 4 days.”

My funeral…

“Can't I partic.i.p.ate?”

“Thats impossible. I heard many people want to come but only Master Roel's closed acquitances or some high authorities can join it.”

“Its really complicated.”

People said that the grief will be lesser if shared with more people, whats the problem if many people comes? Are they doing it to save the funeral cost?

“Even so, it doesn't mean there is no other ways.”

Thats what Sofia said to me when I grumbled inside my heart.

“The funeral will be held once in the church and once in the palace. And Miss can watch the funeral procession between the two venues.”

“There will be two of them?”

“Yes.”

Do they even have the money? Even until these days, the church always maintains a humble att.i.tude in front of mortal possessions, its unusual for them to act this way, isn't it? It should be more than enough to held the funeral ceremony in the church, what needs were there to even go to the palace? Is it because of my merit for saving the Crown Prince?

“Regardless, I still want to take a look even if its only by the streets.”

“Seems like you still care for him even though you lost your memories.”

Sofia softly laughed as she cleaned up the empty plates.

“Miss needs to get direct permission to go out from the Madam.”

“She can't be forbid me from getting out, right?”

“Its even the opposites. Madam asked Miss to often go outside, but Miss always refused before.”

“Is that so?”

“Madam always asked Viscount Schwartz to tail Miss whenever you went out. He is your fiancee. Apparently this time Madam will likely invite him too.”

“Perfect. I would like to see what kind of person he is.”

Sofia pouted after heard my words.

“Don't put high hopes into it. Miss definitely will be disappointed.”

I become more curious about the fiancee upon hearing the maid's confident remark. Is he ugly? Does he have bad att.i.tude? Or, perhaps both?

After Sofia left the room with empty plates, I was left alone then I get on the bed and laying down.

Should I tell the church that I'm still alive?

Even though currently my situation is a bit unnormal, at least I'm still alive. But, I'm not sure they (the church) will easily let me in. The High Priest certainly will be able to recognize me, but other people won't. If I claim to be the leader of Holy Knights, I would be grateful if they didn't consider me as a crazy woman. Moreover…

Honestly I don't want to lead that kind of life in the church ever again.

The life inside the church actually isn't that bad. There's even no preferential treatment based on one's family and people only see you based on your ability within the church. Thats why, even though I was only a commoner-born orphan, I still managed to reach the leader position. But still… there're some reluctant feelings emerge from within my heart if I was to be asked to return there.

Regulated life, dawn wors.h.i.+p, night wors.h.i.+p… ugh, what a boring life… moreover, I can't get married!

Thats the highest obstacle. Marriage. In other words, I can't build a family. I will be satisfied if only I have relatives, but it can't be help that I was all alone by myself. I'm lonely! In addition, I was prohibited from having any personal funds inside the church. I, too, want to have my own home so that I could taste the feel of going home and going off from work, alright?!

I need a family too… I don't want to grow old lonely in the church. I need my own home…

A life dedicated for the G.o.ddess have high reputation and honorable, but as a person it's really dull and full of emptiness. It's said that the High Priest could directly comunicate with the G.o.ddess, but let alone hearing any sound, to obtain even a single oracle is very hard for a normal follower. So I have decided, I will live normally from now onwards. Didn't I receive compensation from completed the hard mission about lifted the Crown Prince's curse? Yup, this is enough. Started today, I have to live as a normal girl.

“…, I was hoping so. Though now, I'm already far from a normal life.”

I smiled bitterly. Albeit Silla's life is much more normal than my life as a woman who was the Leader of Holy Knights Squad, but her life was far from comfortable. Even so, Silla's life will change now because the ‘now' Silla won't stay quiet without fighting back. The one who is in Silla's body now isn't a weak girl anymore.

I raise my right hand that laid on the bed and stretch it out. Holy power that couldn't be seen by normal eyes wrapped around all five fingers and hand's palm then quickly seep into the skin.

The difference between a priest and a holy knight was based on whether the holy power poured out of the body or gathered inside the body. The priest let out his power within the body so he could make a miracle, whereas holy knight gather his holy power within the body that resulted in great strength compared to ordinary human.

Besides, the holy power appeared when the G.o.ddess gave Her blessings onto the soul, not the body. That means, even though I have lost my body that I have trained for a long time, but I still able to use holy knight's ability in my current body. For now, its no doubt that my current ability doesn't even reach half of my previous one, but I can quickly build up my ability to match a normal knight to a certain degree. To reach up to a high knight level… well, its probably will take about another 10 years. This body's potential is limited, so first, I need to collect a plentiful holy power, then I could increase this body's potential slowly. As I saw it, this body didn't have much potential.

Even so, there would be no problem to protect this body of mine.

If I felt that the situation turns out to be too severe until I couldn't recover, I still have another way by returning to serve the church. Well, though I consider it as my last trump card.

I let out a long breath and withdrawing the warm energy that floated around inside my body.