Raiya was reciting some incantation I couldn't hear. It felt as though I was swimming in a tank, helplessly drowning and observing the world around me. I couldn't hear what was happening outside. I could only struggle to stay conscious.

"Possession was easy," the woman's voice told me. I could hear her clearly. She sounded like my inner voice. "It's time to move to the next step. I'll a.s.similate your soul and make you mine. There's no need to fight. I've seen your memories. You've suffered.

"Don't you think it's time you let someone stronger fight in your stead? I'll kill Utar. I'll make him suffer a thousand deaths. Just relax, it won't take long. It's easier this way."

The idea of giving up was appealing, I wouldn't lie. The words she spoke rang true. Utar was so far my biggest nemesis, the nightmare I could never get rid of. He haunted my nights and my waking hours. If she could beat him, and a part of me told me she could, I'd die happily.

"Just relax," she told me again. "Recall your happiest memory, picture it, live it. It will all be over in a flash. You won't feel a thing."

I obeyed.

I chased the thought of Utar away, the memories of the Crucible and the smith. I focused on the woman I loved, the one who changed my world, for better and worse. I saw her smile at me. I saw her caress my forehead as I lay in bed, feverish.

My eyes felt heavy and I closed them. It was nice to feel her warm touch again. I let myself get carried away. This was definitely the happiest day of my life. The woman I thought hated me, was taking care of me now. My body ached in several places but I didn't care, for she was here for me. She decided to stay!

I remember that day. It was after the battle for Izhor, a city at the border of the Akari Kingdom.

The battle went without a hitch. Our plan worked and we took the city easily, too easily. We were ambushed on our way back to the commander's quarters. A boulder fell over our heads and killed twenty of my comrades. I escaped but fell down a cliff. The fall almost killed me, but I was retrieved by the scouts sent by the commander.

I opened my eyes to look at her again. They say that eyes can speak a thousand words. I wanted to speak to her, tell her how grateful I was for her companions.h.i.+p. What I saw however was a young man. His face was smeared in blood. His blue eyes were opaque, dead. He looked at me and I felt a cold chill take over my entire being.

The young boy's brown, ruffled hair was drenched in blood too.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm dying!"

"Get up!"

"Leave me alone. I'm comfortable the way I am, thank you very much."

"Get up!"

"I said LEAVE ME ALONE!"

"We cannot let her take us!" voices, hundreds of them, said in a chorus. "You still have to avenge us. We fought for you. We died for you Stalwart!"

"GET UP!" the young boy screamed.

Why did they want me to fight?

I liked it here. I could see her again. I only needed to picture her clearly, remember her name. She'll come to me and we'll be together at last, forever.

"Get up!" I heard her voice now. She stood near my motionless body. I was lying on my back, in darkness, in an endless void. "Get up you b.a.s.t.a.r.d! Don't you dare leave me here to rot!"

"What are you talking about? I'll die here and join you at last."

"She's taking us away," the voices said again. There were fewer of them.

I looked around. I saw their faces and remembered my men. Many were missing. The others were slowly vanis.h.i.+ng.

"Get up!" the b.l.o.o.d.y boy told me again. "Where's your anger? Where's your rage?"

Who was he? I squinted at him. I felt I'd seen him before.

"Get up, my stars! Fight for us, you swore to avenge us!" It was her again. I looked at her, then at the young boy. She had a nasty wound in her belly. Her beautiful face was cut in different places.

"Get up and FIGHT!" the boy ordered. I remember him now. That was me, an angry, desperate version of myself.

"Why did I want to fight? Please help me remember."

"We can't," answered the choir whose number kept decreasing. "Avenge us Stalwart. Don't let her take us. We don't want to be forgotten."

"Then help me remember!" I screamed at them.

"Oi, boy," the ghost's voice reached me again. "I thought I told you to relax!"

"What are you doing?" I asked her. "Who are you? Why do you want my memories?"

"I don't want them," she answered. "I need to a.s.similate you. I can't have you fight back. I'll make you part of my soul. I've taken your body. It's time I took your soul. And for that, I need to erase all your memories."

Oh h.e.l.l no! You're not taking them away!

"I won't let you!" I told her. My voice rang in the empty void I found myself standing in.

"Oh?" the woman said then materialized in front of me. She looked like a teenager. She couldn't be older than twenty. She had short black hair and a fierce look in her eyes. "What will you do about it?"

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"Probe her," the younger version of me said. "Dig deep into her past, as she's doing to yours now."

To this, the woman only laughed. Her voice echoed in the void. She looked at me and I could sense the fury in her voice. "There's nothing you can do now, Myles Stalwart. You've put up a good fight, but it's over now. You're almost mine now."

"How do I probe her?" I asked myself.

"You share a common enemy, and a common tormentor. Start with that!" I answered.

"Hah!" the ghost scoffed. "You don't even know my name! How will you manage that?"

"Evangelica Grant," the younger version of me said. "Your subconscious didn't let her take over without a fight! I wouldn't let her!"

The young woman's eyes widened. The rage and determination on her face were replaced by fear and doubt. Her eyes narrowed as she got closer to me.

"How did you find out?" she asked.

"Do it," young me urged. "Concentrate on that name. Subdue her."

"Be-quiet-and-disappear-from-my-sight!" the woman said. She had flung her arms forward and strangled young me. I saw my ghost from the past vanish as she absorbed him into her own body.

We were in the void inside my consciousness. The knowledge suddenly came flooding to me. I remembered the rage and the desperation. I remembered the injustice I suffered and witnessed. Then I knew what to do.

I jumped at the woman and attempted to strangle her. She slapped my arms away and jumped backwards. "Maybe you can fight back," she said, grinning. "But can you keep up?"

She turned around and flew away. I was left in the void. I tried to follow. I ran after her but she was faster. I ran as fast as I could. For every step I took, she widened the distance between us by double, sometimes even triple. I tried to fly, but my body felt heavy. I was indeed getting weaker, and she was getting stronger, much stronger.

I tried to remember, but what was there to remember? Who was I? Why did I want to fight back? Who was I going to fight back? I felt lost. This place was too dark, too cold. My legs wouldn't carry me anymore. I fell to my knees. My eyelids suddenly grew heavy…

Cold… too cold… maybe I'd just close my eyes for a while. All will be good after I take a rest. I didn't need to sleep, a short nap will do.

My eyelids closed.

Darkness again, I wanted to escape the void, not stay in it. Why can't I just die in peace? Would you please let me go?

"No."

My eyes sprung open. The strangest animal stood before me. It was looking at me with its crimson eyes. I saw its tails, three of them, bobbing left and right. It blinked, turned tail then started walking away.

"Wait," I called for it. "Where are you going?"

The strange fox turned to look at me again. Then it walked away. I willed my legs to move and followed.

"Where are you going? What do you want from me?"

The fox didn't seem to care. It just kept leaping, left and right, as it advanced.

"There's nothing but darkness here!" I said. "There's nowhere to go!"

The fox kept going. I hated being ignored. I followed, this time trotting, the fox had picked up its pace. Darkness surrounded us, silence haunted us. We walked and walked for what seemed like an eternity. The fox kept ignoring my calls.

I had stopped twice to lie down and sleep. But the cheeky fox came and scratched my back, rather painfully, and ran away. I chased after it. Every time I got closer, the stupid animal leapt then landed a hundred feet away. I had no choice but advance. I couldn't sleep, stop, or turn back. The white fox wouldn't let me.

How long must I keep going? How long must I suffer this cheeky b.a.s.t.a.r.d's taunts?

I was about to give up once more but a light in the distance caught my attention. The fox was running toward it this time. It stopped to look at me then ran again for the light.

"What are you doing?" I heard a woman's voice echo through the void.

I ran after the fox.

"Stop!" the woman ordered.

I ran faster.

"Stop it! You won't find anything there!"

I willed my legs to move faster, to break their limits. My heart was racing. My mind became clearer.

"Stop!" the woman yelled. "Don't go there!"

Why? There's nothing to find there, is there? I begged my legs to support me, to run even though they didn't feel like it. The fox had disappeared inside the light. I had to reach it too. I could see it getting closer, growing in size.

Then I heard a sigh. "So be it," the woman said.

With a pop, I saw her appear behind me, floating in the void. I looked back at the light. It wasn't far now. All I had to do was outrun her. She couldn't catch me.

She mustn't catch me!

I ran faster, and she flew toward me. She was getting closer. At this rate, I wouldn't be able to reach the light. I begged my legs to break their limit. I asked my lungs to give us more air.

"There's no air here stupid!" a young girl told me.

"Lyanna?"

"You've always wanted to fly brother."

"But I don't have wings," I complained.

"Neither does she," Lyanna said.

I turned back and saw the woman. Her arms were outstretched. She was getting real close. I could feel her fingers sc.r.a.pe against my hair.

"Fly brother," Lyanna urged me.

I kicked the surface beneath me. Then I realized that I wasn't standing on any surface to begin with. I was in the void, where no law applied. I flew upward and avoided the woman's clutches. She flew past me and almost got swallowed by the light. I could see that she did everything in her power to avoid it.

"Now go," Lyanna urged. "Embrace the light. Banish the she-devil, and avenge us!"

The woman managed to avoid the light and was flying back at me.

"Remember her name!" Lyanna urged.

I looked at the light and at the woman flying toward me. Her name slowly formed in my head. It sounded like angel, no, Eve.

She was getting closer.

Eva, it started with Eva. "Evangelica!" I yelled.

"Don't you dare speak my name!" the woman yelled back. Her voice was hoa.r.s.e and quite metallic.

I remembered hearing that voice. Then I realized she was the one trying to a.s.similate my soul into hers. "Evangelica Grant!" I said once more.

The light expanded and the woman had no choice but to soar higher to avoid it. I felt warmth engulf me. My eyes opened and I took a deep breath.

I was back.

I'd won!

'Say the word!' a voice whispered inside my head.

"GET OUT!" I screamed. But instead of my usual voice, I heard a high pitched one. I had a woman's voice.

"Your grace?" a man asked.

What? Where was I?

I looked down. I was wearing an elegant black gown. My hands were smaller than I remembered them to be. There was something peculiar about my field of vision. Wait a minute, I know what was wrong. I closed my right eye.

I could still see the world around me…

I was sitting in front of a mahogany desk. A pile of papers stood tall, hiding the man who'd just spoken to me. I picked up a doc.u.ment with my small hands and inspected it. The name Arkadia was written across the top of the paper.

"Your grace," the man spoke again. He stood and I could finally see his face. His white short hair and gray beard suggested his age. He was wearing a golden vest underneath a long, crimson overcoat. The collar of his s.h.i.+rt was higher than I liked it to be, but that was the way of n.o.bility in Arkadia.

"Leave me," I said. I couldn't get used to the voice that came out.

"As you command," the man said, a thin crease between his eyebrows. "But we need the signed doc.u.ment."

"Yes, yes," I barked. I picked up a pen, signed the d.a.m.n paper and put my seal on it. When I handed him the doc.u.ment, the man smiled, bowed low then left.

I was left alone at last. I stood up and looked around. The room I was in was vast. There were multiple bookcases aligned against the wooden walls. The tapestry on the wall suggested it was of foreign origin. No silk of this quality was produced in Arkadia.

How did I know all of this? And what is Arkadia?

I walked toward a small cabinet and pulled the door open. I saw a carafe filled with a dark brown liquid. I poured some for me and opened another, smaller, cabinet. It was surprisingly cold inside and, the moment I opened it, a bright light illuminated it. My frail hands reached out and picked up some ice cubes that I put on the gla.s.s.

I sipped from it, flinched. This was some strong s.h.i.+t! I took my gla.s.s and turned toward the large gla.s.s window in my study.

This place was my study?

Oh yes, of course it was! What's happening to me today? I guess those sleep-subst.i.tution pills don't work as well as the natural thing. I observed the city from the window. The view from up here was strikingly beautiful. I could see the capital from above. No other building in the city could come close to my estate. I was, after all, the empress of the greatest nation there was!

My eyes caught my reflection off a the large window. I got closer to have better look at my face. Dark circles surrounded my eyes. I sighed, sleep deprivation wouldn't help anybody.

Hold on a minute! I'm a woman? Wasn't I supposed to be a man?

Oh right, I was fighting back. She was taking over, a.s.similating, whatever that meant. Now I'm in her memories I guess…

"Your grace!" a woman suddenly burst inside the room.

"Yes Vera?" I heard myself say.

(I wasn't in control then. I was just an observer. Very well, let's observe who this Evangelica Grant is.)

"The council has called an urgent meeting," Vera reported.

"What for?" I asked.

"You're not invited," Vera said. "I have orders to keep you here. The council has provided the Agency sufficient evidence to prove you're a threat to our nation."

"What?"

"Please, your grace," Vera pleaded. "Don't make it harder than it already is. Sit tight, the meeting will be over and I'll personally provide you with the minutes."

"I will not be ordered to stay in while my council conspires to overthrow me. I'm not crazy, I just need to sleep." It's true. Last week I snapped at the general a.s.sembly. I hadn't slept in over a week. I got into a heated argument with a senator. I lost it and punched the old man in the face. I broke the poor man's nose. Sleep deprivation is a dangerous thing.

(I landed in a weird episode of her life!)

I ran to the woman called Vera and seized her by the shoulders. "Vera, don't let them manipulate you too."

"Sit, your grace," Vera urged. "They can't prove anything unless they have sufficient evidence. They provided enough to keep you locked up here. Please, don't make this hard on me too."

"No Vera," I said. "I must end this. Those senile old men like their seats. I urged them to retire two days ago. Leave their seats to a new generation, capable of leading this nation to further, better accomplishments. I will not – "

My body suddenly felt numb. I couldn't move or speak. I could only think of the energy that burst through me, immobilizing me. It was painful, but I couldn't shout or react to it. It was overwhelming. My body vibrated as I muttered some m.u.f.fled screams. Then the pain disappeared and I slumped down the ground.

My last sight was of the rod Vera held. It crackled as blue bolts were emitted from it. I was electrocuted, subdued.