He doesn't allow himself to think about his next move before he does it.

He can't afford to.

Just like he can't afford to feel.

The very air around him feels wrong.

Empty.

And yet…

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It's filled with power that calls to him.

An ever present itch under his skin.

It reminds him of days sparring with Lord Auron.

He has plenty of experience ignoring the itch.

He can push past it just like he can push past his physical aches.

He can't afford to fall here.

Helena trusted him with this duty and he -

"Poor little p.a.w.n, don't you realise it yet?"

He ignores the taunting voice in his head and flings himself at another opponent.

"You've already lost. Accept it."

Loss or not, it's his place to accept it.

It's not his place to question orders - merely follow them.

"That's just it. The one who gave those orders? She's already accepted defeat."

He can't stop his body from locking up at that.

It's only sheer reflex that has him dodging a nearly fatal blow before dealing a definitely fatal one to the attacker.

He tries to ignore those words.

Sonia would not be so quick to accept defeat.

A quick glance at her, however, shows that she's struggling to maintain even a simple flow of magic.

He looks at the a.s.sortment of mages with new eyes.

They're limiting her.

It's with a new viciousness that he tears through the nearest one.

"No, not her. Don't you see?"

He doesn't even allow himself to think about the implications of those words.

It's not possible.

Helena wouldn't have come here.

She wouldn't be so foolish as to enter this battle with nothing but her empathy to protect her.

All that would be doing is courting death and Helena has never been suicidal.

"You presume that you know what she'd do? How many times has she done things you swore she never would?"

He tries to shove aside the truth of those words but their effect is clear in the fury present in every one of his swings.

"Accepting Lord Auron's proposal."

He doesn't even wait for the body to hit the ground before he's on another target.

"Forgiving Lord Ausset."

He kicks a severed head into a mage with enough force to bring her to her knees.

"a.s.sisting in this hopeless rebellion."

He's breathing hard now.

He can feel the emotions he's trying so hard to control clawing at him.

Begging for release.

It'd be so easy to just -

"I have her right here with me, you know."

He shakes his head with a growl as he launches himself at another unfortunate mage.

He refuses to believe the telepath's lies.